How quickly did you forget your ex? How to forget your ex and start a new life. He still gives you strong feelings

How many times have you told yourself that after breaking up you would quickly forget about this guy? Meanwhile, it turns out that it is not so simple. In the end, you experienced many good moments with him, which you now review in your memory. You may delude yourself that everything is behind you, however, if you still continue to do these things, then know that you are mistaken and are becoming a victim of illusions. Here are 7 signs that indicate you haven't forgotten ex-boyfriend.

1. You constantly write about your breakup.

Your wall or page on a social network is full of statuses about how you suffer and are sad, sad songs about unhappy love, quotes about breakups and broken hearts. Instead of constantly pouring out your grievances into the world, try to find the positive aspects of being single now. And for your own peace of mind, do not look at the profile of your ex-lover. Give yourself time to heal your wounds.

2. You text him when you're drunk

Believe me, sending him an SMS at 3 am is not the best good idea. If he himself broke up with you, it is his loss and decision. There is no need to constantly blame yourself for something, entertain illusions and ask if you could still return it.

3. You can't stop talking about him.

Every conversation you have with a friend still somehow comes down to your ex-lover, even if at first you only talked about shopping. You don’t even pay attention to your friend’s advice to forget about him and give yourself the opportunity to calm down. Meanwhile, it's time to listen to such recommendations if you don't want your friendship to fall apart because of such things.

4. You follow him on the Internet

Do you go to his profile to see what he does, where he goes, if there are any photos of a new girl there? It's understandable that you want to keep up with what's going on with your ex, but that won't help you get over him.

5. You're still willing to do anything for him.

You “automatically” topped up his phone account, made some purchases and helped with his homework. younger sister? You can’t refuse him anything and don’t even see the need for it - rather, on the contrary, are you glad that you can somehow participate in his life? In this case, it is important to pull yourself up in time and remind yourself that you - for a minute - have already broken up.

6. He still gives you strong feelings.

Every time you think about him, you are overcome with a wave of different emotions. You start to become very sentimental. Sometimes you feel as if you just recently fell in love with him. However, that was some time ago, and now you need to try to control your feelings. Even if it takes time and effort from you.

7. You are not interested in other men.

If some guy appears in your environment, you don’t even pay attention to him and immediately cross him off your list of potential suitors. You always compare any male representative with your ex and wonder if he can give you the same emotions and feelings. At the same time, you almost immediately decide for yourself that no, he is not capable of this. But maybe it's worth giving someone a chance? Don't be afraid to open yourself up to new experiences!

Can’t forget how he gave you your first teddy bear, how you threw popcorn at each other at the movies and watched the sunrise together? It doesn’t matter why you broke up and how many wonderful moments you experienced together, it’s important to move on and enjoy life without him. Here's a guide to help you get started new life after the breakup.

Stage #1: Start to control your emotions

This stage means that you need to start with yourself.

• Have a cry

Give yourself time to grieve and cry into your pillow - this is a completely normal reaction. You don’t have to immediately run to a party with friends and meet a new guy. If you don’t be alone with your thoughts immediately after a breakup, your feelings, of course, will hide, but not for long... And then they will overwhelm you with new strength and at the most inopportune moment. But don’t feel sorry for yourself for too long; when you’ve cried enough, go out into the world.

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• Don't think about your sweet moments

Yes, yes, stop thinking about that very walk in the rain and that very evening at his house. Yes, you can remember your most romantic moments sometime later when will you survive the breakup. These will just be warm memories from the past. But now they will only make the situation worse.

• Don't forget why you broke up

Instead of thinking about the good, remember all the bad. People don't break off relationships just like that. Either they are not suitable for each other, or they do not love each other. Yes, it happens that you are madly in love, but he is not. In this case, you must understand that living with a person who does not love you is constant quarrels. Surely you had a lot conflict situations. When you feel like you want him, think about the worst moments in your relationship.

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• Don't blame yourself

After a breakup, it would be quite logical to understand yourself, so to speak, to analyze your behavior in different situations. Even if you were wrong about something, all this is already in the past. Stopping regretting what you did or didn't do is a huge step if you want to forget the past. There is no need to think: “What if I had acted differently.” You did what you did.

• Praise yourself

That's right! Better yet, make a list of yours best qualities. We are sure that you will have enough of them to fill an entire A4 sheet. And then make a list of the most negative qualities of your ex-boyfriend (and don’t feel sorry for him!). When you compare both lists, you will understand that there was something in it that clearly did not suit you. In addition, you will know what qualities in a guy you don’t like at all. This will help you in your next relationship.

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• Be positive

We understand that being positive after a breakup is the last thing you can do. But believe me, being without a boyfriend is sometimes even much cooler than dating someone. You are free and free to do whatever you please. Take advantage of this and spend more time with friends.

Stage #2: Get him out of your life

The guy must not only be forgotten, but also all material things that remind him of him must be destroyed.

• Get rid of his things

Do you still have his clothes and gifts? Let him take it. Of course, you shouldn’t take them to him personally - it’s better to ask friends. You don't want to see your ex again, do you? And delete all photos, videos and text messages that remind you of him. We know that this is tough, but it is a proven way to forget the past. If you still feel sorry for getting rid of memories, put everything in a box, put it deep in the closet and don’t dare open it until you’re ready! The latter will not happen soon, we’re telling you for sure.

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• Stop all communication with him

If you think that talking to your ex is a good idea, we assure you that it is not. Seeing him is even worse. You shouldn’t even go to his page on social networks. Do whatever you want - block him, remove him from your friends, change your account, or simply temporarily stop using Twitter, Instagram and don’t go to VKontakte... Your goal is to prevent communication with him. Perhaps he will invite you to remain friends? Think about whether you need this if you are going through a breakup so hard... We think not very much.

• Don't ask about him

If you have mutual friends, we advise you not to ask them how your ex is doing. And also ask them not to tell you anything about him ( good friends will understand). Besides, if you find out that he has new girl, then all your efforts to forget him will go down the drain.

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• Don't do things you used to do together

If you loved listening to Kurt Cobain's songs or went to the movies every Saturday, this is exactly what you shouldn't do. Not forever, of course, but for a while. We understand that it is difficult to give up everything you love. That is, just because you enjoyed eating pizza together doesn’t mean you shouldn’t eat it. But everything is in moderation.

• Change the picture

The easiest way is to rearrange the room, hang a new picture, even a new screensaver on the computer is already something new. This really helps. You can also go on a trip with your parents or friends - to the sea or on a hike. By going to a completely new place that has nothing to do with your ex-boyfriend, you help yourself leave him in the past.

Step #3: Have fun and enjoy life

The time will come when you come to your senses, live a normal life and start looking for a new boyfriend.

• Have fun with your friends

What would we do without our faithful beloved friends? Surely, when you were dating your ex, you didn’t have much time to communicate with them. Now everything has changed. Go with your friends to the cinema, to a cafe, shopping, or just walk in the park and drink cocoa together. They will always understand, support and have a good time fooling around with you.

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• Plan your day

When you have something to do, you don't think about all sorts of stupid things. If you sit at home all day, of course, you constantly think about your ex. Hang out more with friends, help your mother cook, sign up for various clubs and sections, weave baubles and make collages in Photoshop. You finally have the opportunity to devote maximum time to your interests - use it! But don’t forget to leave some time in your schedule to be alone with yourself - any person needs this.

What prevents you from forgetting your ex-boyfriend?

1. Strong feelings. Often, even after a breakup, love for your ex is still quite strong and does not allow you to let him go. The longer and more serious the relationship, the more difficult it is to do this.
2. Fear of loneliness. Many people worry that they won't be able to create more. strong relationships. This fear is especially strong after a breakup with her husband, when for a woman the status of a divorcee seems to be a stigma for life.
3. Continued communication. If you have children together, then the need to meet constantly remains, which makes it difficult to forget your spouse. If your ex-boyfriend works with you in the same company, then this can also serve as an obstacle to calming your feelings.
4. Strong dependence on an ex-lover (emotional, financial). If a girl does not feel her integrity without her loved one, she understands that she is dependent on his opinion, resources and attitude towards herself on his part, then the separation turns into a real tragedy for her. This usually comes from lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem.
5. Sense of ownership. Although this is more typical for men, the female half is also sometimes prone to it, and the thought that the beloved will belong to someone else seems simply unbearable.

Realizing why I cannot forget my loved one is the first step towards the final end of the relationship.

• Until the previous relationship is completed, it will not be possible to successfully build a new one. For this, it is important not to deny the separation, but to accept it, no matter how difficult it may be. The relationship, and with it the loved one, needs to be let go. If after a breakup you can talk to him calmly and in a friendly manner when you meet, you don’t try to flirt, you don’t feel hatred, you don’t seek revenge or forbid him to see your children, then we can be happy for you: you were able to accept the end of the relationship.
• The hardest time is the first days and weeks after a breakup. You are overwhelmed with various emotions, sometimes even contradictory. Some feel hatred and a desire to unleash all their indignation on their ex-boyfriend. Others are engaged in self-examination and blame themselves for what happened. Still others feel fear and anxiety about the future. Love is often combined with contempt, irritation can give way to apathy, prolonged sadness often turns into depression.
• It is necessary not to drown out and repress emotions, but to splash them out in a safe way. Cry into your friend’s vest, write all your experiences on paper, beat soft inanimate objects.
• Don't try to call or text your ex to remind him of how hurt you are. Don't ask to come back. Don't get used to browsing his pages on social networks. The worst thing is when ex-girlfriend demonstrates obsession. Such behavior can only cause self-pity. And this is clearly not what you are striving for. Maintain your self-esteem, gather your willpower and don’t get hung up on resuming the relationship.
• You cannot take revenge or threaten your ex-lover. It only makes you stronger negative emotions and eats you from the inside. And, of course, it doesn’t present you in the best light to your boyfriend or husband.
• As nice as it may be to relive memories of your past together, don't do it. Such thoughts do not allow you to move forward, they force you to focus on your previous relationship again and again. Accept that you can't get them back and view them as a positive milestone in your life that has taught you a lot and provided valuable experience.
• Stop storing your boyfriend's personal belongings. Give it to him or throw it away. It is better to hide his gifts away at first. It will be easier not to think about him this way.
• Calmly analyze the positive and negative aspects previous relationships. It makes sense to write them down on a piece of paper. Compare. Probably, not everything was so good, and the breakup is not accidental. Remember what features of your ex-boyfriend did not suit you. It is possible that you will come to the conclusion: perhaps it is even good that this happened.
• Don't rush to plunge headlong into a new relationship. Weigh everything carefully, taking into account past experience. Answer these questions: what do you want from a new novel? What do you fundamentally dislike? What past mistakes will you avoid? Make sure that you really want to experience new feelings and are ready for it. It is important to bring your emotional state into balance and get rid of obsessive thoughts. That is, first of all, you need to focus on yourself and your inner world.

Breathe positivity into your life

• Love and respect yourself. What matters is not what those around you think about you (even those closest to you), but how you feel about yourself. You must be valuable to yourself. With an internal sense of your own integrity and confident behavior, you form a positive attitude towards yourself. How to achieve this? First of all, accept your strengths and weaknesses. If you don’t want to accept something, then you need to work on yourself and achieve changes, even the smallest ones.

• Set a goal for yourself, achieve it and praise yourself for achieving it. Pay attention to your appearance: maybe it’s time to change something? Treat yourself to a new purchase or a pleasant procedure, you deserve it.
• Take your free time. Immerse yourself in activities that bring results or simply please you. This will help you take your mind off unpleasant experiences and recharge with positive energy. Any physical exercise, creative activity or work will do. Read, listen to music, dance, attend concerts.
• Don’t isolate yourself, communicate more with loved ones, with best friend . From them you can get both advice and emotional support.
• Shake it up! If you feel like you need a change of scenery, do it. Globally, this is an exciting journey. But perhaps just going out into nature, for example, having a picnic with friends, will be enough.

It can be useful to have fun and dance. This way you will plunge into an atmosphere of vivid impressions and can make new acquaintances.

The situation in the house is also of great importance. Therefore, in some situations, moving furniture, replacing it, purchasing new items and accessories helps.

• Take frequent walks in the fresh air. Look around, feel how many interesting things you have not noticed before. Smile at the world and the people around you. With a sip fresh air feel your freedom, which was not there in previous relationships, enjoy this moment.
• Allow yourself to do something you weren't allowed to do before.. For example, take up an extreme sport, learn something in a course, or acquire a new hobby.
• Try to focus on important goals that you strive for besides creating a relationship. This is probably a chance for new achievements: in a career, in personal development, in major acquisitions, etc.

How to forget your ex-husband if you have children

1. Of course, the most important thing is to think about what your child wants. Under no circumstances should you deprive him of meetings with his father, no matter what emotions you experience.
2. Agree on where the meetings will take place: at your home or on neutral territory? For the first time after a divorce, it is better for you not to attend them. When your emotions return to normal, you can all meet together.
3. If the ex-husband does not want to communicate with the child, you should not force him to do so. But you will have to give your baby twice as much attention and care. In addition, complete immersion in parenting and the desire to please him will help you quickly forget your ex-spouse.
4. The ideal option is if you can save with ex-husband friendly relationships in which there will be no room for hatred, resentment, revenge and jealousy. Calm communication and the opportunity to discuss important issues of upbringing will have a beneficial effect on the development of common children and will help smooth out the negative aspects of divorce.

Advice from a psychologist on how to forget a loved one.

Forgetting an ex-boyfriend is not so easy... It will take more than one month, perhaps even a year or two, for you to forget all the moments you experienced together and suppress the negative emotions in yourself. We'll call 10 simple ways how to forget your ex-boyfriend once and for all.

Did you leave him or did he leave you, or did you decide together that your relationship no longer made sense and it was better for you to leave? Now it doesn't matter anymore. It's over, and no matter what, you won't be together anymore. The truth is, you can always find a way to get your ex-love back, but that's another story.

#1 Get busy

Work. Be active. When you have something to do (watching TV doesn’t count), you free your mind from everything unnecessary and negative, you simply won’t have time to think about your ex. Do something, find a hobby, develop a career, go somewhere with old friends.

#2 Sports

Join a gym or start running in the morning. Play sports. It will strengthen your body, mind and soul so that you become less emotional and more productive. You might even find yours new love in the gym.

#3 Don't be a homebody

Sitting at home, watching TV and scrolling through your ex’s profile will definitely not help you forget him faster. Switch to something else. Get out of your apartment as often as you can. And don't hang out in places that remind you of him.

#4 Don't get drunk

The worst thing you can do in your situation is get drunk. This will all end with you finding yourself in the company of some fool from a nightclub whom you never want to see again, and you will spend the entire next day depressed. Pull yourself together. You don't need alcohol to get over a guy. Only weak people do this. Are you a weak person? Of course not.

#5 Don't go crazy, accept this pain

Don't try to completely forget your love. After all, not so long ago, you loved each other - don’t be angry with him or with yourself. Forgiving yourself and him is the first step to “recovery” after a breakup. Accept the fact that it's over and life doesn't end there.

#6 Don't look for a new guy

If you recently broke up with your boyfriend, don't look for a new boyfriend. Give yourself some time. You would feel even worse if you found out that he already has a new girlfriend. Respect each other.

#7 Be positive

Paulo Coelho wrote in his book: “They leave so that someone new can come.” Know that if your boyfriend dumped you, there is a reason. Maybe it's for the best, even if your heart is broken. Look at it from a positive perspective.

If you hadn't broken up, you would never have met another guy. Open yourself up to new opportunities, look at familiar things in a new way. You can't forget your ex - not because of him, but because of you - you don't allow yourself to forget him. Let everything go, move on with your life. It's much easier than you think.

#8 Do you enjoy pain?

Just think about it... Do you like it when you feel bad? Maybe you like being a victim. No? Be honest with yourself. I know you probably feel terrible right now. But life doesn't end there.

#9 Forget the pain

The best way to forget your ex-boyfriend is to stop thinking about him. Change the course of your thoughts. Accept the situation as it is. This break is not the end, but only the beginning of your new, happy life.

#10 Love yourself

Life is a strange thing. Remember that somewhere there is your soulmate, you will find true love. Open up, because yours ideal man, can walk near you, but you don’t notice him. Anything is possible. The main thing you must do now is accept the situation as it is. Love yourself and then the world will love you.