11.03.2015
Men do not always speak directly about their feelings and emotions. Sometimes it is difficult to understand what is going on in his soul, and how he treats his chosen one! If this is the beginning of your acquaintance, pay attention to his gestures. Luckily, a man's body language is text that's easy to read!
Here is a list of signals that indicate his interest.
1. Pay attention to his pupils, they are enlarged. This is a typical reaction of the brain when it likes something (or someone)!
2. His eyebrows are raised, especially when you are talking. He subconsciously makes this gesture to increase his field of vision.
3. He smiles, baring his teeth. Men smile in this way only when they are really happy.
4. The man smiles from ear to ear. A sincere smile in men, in particular, causes forehead wrinkles and squinting of the eyes. If a man smiles in this way, it means that he wants to attract female attention.
5. Focuses his gaze on your face. He is guaranteed to like you if he devotes 80 percent of his attention to looking at your eyes, nose and mouth.
7. He takes a deep breath when he sees you. The intake of air leads to the fact that the chest expands, and the waist narrows. This is a sign that the guy subconsciously wants to be attractive to you.
8. He leans towards you a little when you say something, even if he hears you perfectly. This means a deep interest in your words.
9. When he turns towards you, puts his hands on his hips with his elbows out. A man thus shows that he wants to focus your attention on himself.
10. When he removes a hair or a speck from your blouse, it means that he is trying to initiate physical contact in order to see your reaction. Wants to be closer to you.
11. Sits with legs wide apart. Thanks to this position, he shows his very sensitive “masculinity”. This is a subconscious way to show not only the openness of the personality, but also mental activity.
12. Moves (carefully) a little closer if you are sitting next to him. This means that he is after you.
13. Involuntarily directs the toe of the shoe in your direction. However, if you touch his shoulder and you notice that his legs are moving away from you, this means that he has lost interest.
14. Swinging legs - an attempt to attract attention. If a man crosses his legs or stretches, this means a lack of interest on his part. If he shifts from foot to foot, but the rest of his body is facing you, this means shyness.
15. Approaches you when you say something. This is a sign of interest.
16. If during a conversation he does not focus his eyes on you, this means that he is looking out for someone else. However, if he asks a lot of questions and looks for commonalities, and at the same time his eyes wander, this may indicate simple shyness.
17. Touches his neck. This can mean not only interest, but also fear about your relationship. It depends on the context.
18. When he holds your hand, interlaces his fingers around yours, this means that he wants to get to know you better.
19. Touches you with his hand when he speaks. This means that he wants your attention, wants to be heard. There is a desire to impress.
20. Casually touches your leg, but quickly removes his hand. This means that the man is interested in having sex with you. If he removes his hand slowly, and at the same time smiles, this means that he loves you very much.
21. Walks next to you, and at the same time does not notice the road ahead of him. However, if he walks a few steps ahead of you, he is more focused on himself.
2015-03-11
Each couple shows feelings in public in different ways. According to psychotherapists and sexual experts, it is joint gestures that can tell a lot about the relationship between two people.
1. Intertwined hands.
If lovers hold hands, then this indicates that they are together against the whole world. There is a real union between partners. Intertwined hands symbolize traditional relationships and the deep inner affection of lovers.
2. Hands on the waist.
People hugging each other around the waist are very sensual and loving. However, with this gesture, the partner also sometimes wants to show that you belong to him.
3. Holding hands.
At first glance, holding hands may seem childish. But it also indicates affection, close connection and understanding between partners. Some scientists say that with holding hands, everything is quite the opposite - it indicates a lack of passion and emotional connection between partners.
4. Interlacing fingers.
This gesture indicates a relationship that is full of determination and passion. The interlacing of fingers proves the seriousness of the partners' intentions.
5. Eye contact.
Eye to eye allows partners to get information about each other without words. Couples who have been together for a long time recreate the feeling of falling in love by looking into each other's eyes.
6. Kisses.
Carelessness about kissing in public proves deep affection. Lovers are not shy about each other and show the whole world that they love each other.
7. Touching the knees.
An intimate touch on the knee, ear, or shoulder shows that the partners trust each other. When talking, they indicate that lovers know how to listen and listen to their soul mates.
8. Stroking the back.
This gesture gives a sign to the partner about the desire for intimacy. A gentler pat on the back is a symbol of comfort, while a stronger one is a symbol of the desire to control the other person.
9. Stroking the neck.
Such touching elicits a relaxation response. When a lover realizes that his significant other has experienced stress, he uses a soothing touch. Couples using this gesture are in harmony with each other's emotions. Such people are able to help and reassure each other.
10. Hugs from behind.
This gesture is an unexpected manifestation of love. He is unique and always makes you smile and gives comfort.
11. Playing with fingers.
Playing with your partner's fingers or hands, talking to others, you make it clear that you are not hiding it or ignoring it.
12. Lack of joint gestures.
Some couples think that the lack of joint gestures indicates a lack of intimacy and affection. This is not entirely true. Certain people feel good enough in their relationship that they don't need to flaunt their feelings. The absence of gestures does not mean that the couple has lost the spark, they are more secretive and conservative.
Most people consider their desire to hold hands too primitive, implying that it is. And this, to be sure, is really nice. But is that the only reason why we are drawn to take someone by the hand? Obviously not. Although we may not think about it, joining hands is first a psychological and social act, and only then a physical act.
A 2013 study in South Carolina found that among people who held hands while walking on the beach, there were significantly more “dominant” men (that is, those whose hand was on top) than women.
Scientists noted that this, in their opinion, is true for most countries. And they suggested that women are likely to always "dominate" children, although such experiments have not been conducted.
So why are we holding hands? And what does this action mean in a wide range of human interactions?
Reduces stress levels
A 2006 study conducted at the University of Virginia on 16 couples found that feeling your loved one's hand in your hand reduces any stress level, even the most severe. Moreover, the activity of the brain regions that respond to stress, under the influence of small current discharges, decreased only if the partner, and not someone else, held the hand of the subject (more precisely, the subject - they did not hear about it here).
Increases resistance to pain
In 2009, researchers at the University of California decided to conduct a similar study, again focusing on women's reactions, because, as the researchers explained, women are generally more expressive and their emotional response is always quicker. The experiment involved 25 young women who were in long-term relationships. During the experiment, they received minor burns, after which the scientists asked them to rate the level of discomfort. So we managed to find out that if they looked at a photo of their partner or held his hand, the stimulus was always turned out, which made it possible to talk about the "anesthesia effect".
Increases affection
One of the reasons why we hold hands and not anything else seems to be that the hands themselves are extremely sensitive areas. This, Bustle recalls, is due to evolutionary development, during which hands helped our ancestors navigate threats, use tools and perform other complex tasks. Today we live in a developed world and all this is not so important (the ability to quickly type messages in the cold does not count), but the nerve endings, if you hold the hand of a person who is dear to you, perform another significant function. Namely, they create an attachment similar to the one that arises.
Facilitates communication
Psychologists are sure that, in addition to other bonuses that we get, holding hands, it also provides us with a kind of hidden communication. Own language, if you like. It turns out that touch can transfer a huge amount of emotional information from partner to partner, whether they know it or not. So, in 2009, when Professor Matt Hertenstein (Matt Hertenstein) asked a group of volunteers to convey various emotions to strangers blindfolded using touch alone, the correct messages were received in 75% of cases, according to Psychology Today. Needless to say, if we are talking about a loved one, then the quality of the transmitted information will tend to 100%.
Why do we sometimes instinctively take the interlocutor by the hand? Sometimes it is a gesture of reconciliation, sometimes it is a confirmation of trust, and at some moments it speaks eloquently of love. He took your hand... What does that mean?
The best way to non-verbal communication
Body language is rich in ways people express a wide variety of emotions and meanings, such as insults, hostility, friendliness, or approval towards others. Most people use gestures and body language in addition to words when speaking. Many gestures are used by people subconsciously. It is believed that some ethnic groups use gestures more than others, and the culturally acceptable amount of gestures varies from one place to another. For example, the same gesture in Germany or the Scandinavian countries can be expressed with just a slight movement of the hand, while in Italy or Spain the same gesture can be expressed with a sweeping movement of the whole hand.
Commonly used gestures include the action of pointing at something or someone (this is one of the few gestures whose meaning differs little in different countries), as well as using the hands and body in sync with the rhythms of speech to emphasize certain words or phrases. Many outwardly similar gestures have different meanings in different countries. The same gesture may be harmless in one country and vulgar in another. In addition, even the same or similar gestures may differ slightly from country to country.
For example, when a Russian counts something on his fingers, he usually bends his fingers inside his palm, while a typical American, on the contrary, unbends his fingers when counting. In the West, fingers splayed in the form of the Latin letter V mean victory (victory). But before the Second World War, fingers spread out in the form of a Latin V, thrown up over the interlocutor, meant a call to silence. In Italy, this is an offensive allusion to adultery. and in our country it is a “goat”, that is, an expression of a threat in a marginal environment
Gestures of different nations
As a rule, the further south, the more lively people gesticulate, the richer their facial expressions and body language. In Europe, Italians use the most gestures: for example, they express admiration for female beauty in no less than five ways. In an hour of casual communication, a Mexican makes an average of 180 gestures, a Frenchman 120, an Italian 80, a Finn one gesture, and an Englishman none.
Even among neighboring peoples, many gestures have the exact opposite meaning. In Bulgaria, they shake their heads in agreement, and nod - vice versa. This behavior is also inherent in the Greeks, Romanians, Macedonians and Hindus.
Residents of Malta, as a sign of denial, touch their chin with their fingertips, turning the brush forward. The Japanese in this case shake their palms from side to side, and the Arabs throw their heads back.
The Frenchman, finding any idea stupid, knocks himself on the head, and the German slaps his forehead with his palm. The Englishman shows with the same gesture that he is pleased with himself. When a Dutchman, knocking himself on the forehead, stretches his index finger up, this means that he appreciated the intelligence of the interlocutor. But if the finger is pointing to the side, then this means that the interlocutor "is not all at home."
To warn that information is secret, Russians and Germans put a finger to their lips, the British to their nose, and in Italy the same gesture serves as a warning of danger.
IN English speaking countries a ring of thumb and forefinger means "everything is in order." However, in Japan, this gesture means a request to lend money, in Brazil - sexual desire, and in France - a distrustful attitude towards the words of the interlocutor. In Turkey and Greece, this gesture can be perceived as a hint of the interlocutor's homosexuality.
A thumbs up, which for many peoples is a sign of approval, the Arabs can take painfully. The Japanese do not welcome handshakes, and even more so pats on the shoulder; for them, touching the interlocutor during a conversation is an unacceptable liberty.
In Portugal, a gesture in the form of two index fingers put to the forehead is tantamount to an insult “horned” and means that the interlocutor is cheating on his wife. This gesture is seen as a strong insult, in particular, he served as the reason for the resignation in July 2009 of the Minister of Economy of Portugal, Manuel Pinho. During the debate in the Parliament of Portugal, the minister showed the "horns" to his opponent from the Communist Party. The insulting gesture caused indignation among parliamentarians, as a result, the minister had to resign, and the prime minister made a public apology for his former colleague.
Greetings
Today, globalization has made many gestures, such as shaking hands, understandable around the world. But until recently, only Europeans and their kindred peoples shook hands. It is believed that the greeting originated in the Middle Ages, when knights showed each other that they were not holding weapons at the ready. The inhabitants of the Middle East kissed at the meeting, the Indians folded their hands in front of their chests, the Chinese also shook hands, but not to each other, but to themselves. The Masai stretched out their hand to the oncoming one, after spitting on it, and the representatives of the neighboring Luo people, as a sign of respect, spat on this very counter.
Scandinavian Siamese and New Zealand Maori rubbed their noses. The Samoans would sniff each other when greeting. The Mongols licked each other's cheeks. Tibetans stick out their tongues and at the same time take off their hats with their right hands and touch their ears with their left hands. Many Asian peoples had complex greeting ceremonies: junior first greeted the elder, the subordinate - the boss, the walking one - the sitting one, and so on.
Parting
Parting takes place in different ways among different peoples: Russians raise their palm and shake it back and forth. In Italy, they do the same, but at the same time they turn their palm towards themselves. The British very slowly move their palms from side to side, and expressive Latin Americans, saying goodbye (as well as greeting), hug and slap each other on the back.
Gestures in relationships
Have you noticed that couples in love often hold each other's hands, but people with a solid "family experience" do this less and less? ... Because they no longer love each other so much?
In fact, this gesture - to take another person by the hand - is a real sacrament! Indeed, in the center of the human palm there is an important chakra, an energy point through which we can radiate, feel and receive energy.
We love to feel the touch of a loved one, a child, to hold his hand - thus enjoying and to some extent controlling his actions: now he is protected ...
Why do we sometimes instinctively take the interlocutor by the hand? Sometimes it is a gesture of reconciliation, sometimes it is a confirmation of trust, and at some moments he speaks eloquently about love ... He took your hand ... What does this mean?
* If he holds you only by the fingers and pulls them towards him, then this person is not confident in himself or feels like that at the moment - he is looking for your support and patronage.
* When a person wants to dominate a relationship, he covers your hand with his, holds you so that his hand is on top of yours.
* If a man strongly squeezes your hand to the point of pain, then you have a passionate type. Whether it's good or bad is up to you: passion in bed can be combined with a very tough, or rather, proud character.
* Only people in love intertwine their fingers, driven by the desire to possess each other.
* The sexiest gesture is touching the very center of the palm with your finger. However, every person guesses the meaning of this gesture without words ...
When we try to take someone by the hand, we invade his personal space, this should always be remembered. This zone can be thought of as an air bubble that each of us inflates and compresses depending on the circumstances. And we would rather agree to narrow its boundaries in a crowded subway car than, say, in an office.
Define the boundaries of personal space
The dimensions of personal space depend on the origin of a person, his social status, personal preferences, culture, as well as the degree of acquaintance with those who approach him. According to the American anthropologist Edward T. Hall, an average of up to 0.5 m takes intimate area intended for the closest; from 0.5 m to 1.2 m - a personal zone for communicating with close friends, from 1.2 m to 3.7 m - a social zone suitable for business communication. Violation of these boundaries by outsiders makes us feel uncomfortable.
For this reason, it would be right to keep a distance at the beginning of a relationship. And touching another person's hand - even if it's not a romantic gesture at all - preferably at the right time and in the right situation. Your attempt to touch someone you just met may annoy the other person, although he will smile sweetly in response, not wanting to offend you. As the relationship develops, we allow the other closer to our intimate zone.
Find out the intentions of the interlocutor
There is an easy way to find out if the other person is ready to let you into their personal space - move your personal items closer to him (for example, a purse, a notebook, cigarettes). Such objects are perceived by others as an extension of our body. When you sit with someone at the same table, you observe the unspoken rule that half the table is at your disposal, and half is the space of the other person.
An outsider will most likely perceive the “intrusion” of your objects into their territory with irritation, and you will notice his discomfort. Only close friends, family members and lovers do not pay attention to these movements. If a woman pushes her bag closer to a man, this may be a sign that she likes him and would like a closer relationship.
Consider cultural differences
Like all non-verbal gestures, tactile contact is perceived differently in different cultures. In the West, holding hands is a romantic gesture. When we see two people joining their palms, we can easily assume that they have a close relationship. So, if you don't want to be misunderstood, don't hold hands with people who don't interest you, even if they are the first to make contact.
Many Western men do not take each other's hand for fear of being mistaken for homosexuals. But in Arab culture, this is a friendly gesture that has nothing to do with sexual orientation.
What does this gesture say? When a man takes a woman by the hand, it can also mean several things:
- romantic affection and deep connection;
- insecurity or fear of losing her;
- trying to calm her down when she's upset;
- superiority - he is the one who plays the main role in the relationship;
- an attempt to show the whole world that she belongs to him and only him;
- window dressing;
- he is proud to be seen next to this woman, but this does not mean that he values \u200b\u200bhis relationship with her.
Higher or stronger?
Most body language books will tell you that when partners hold hands, the leader's hand is always on top of the pair. However, a study by psychologists at Temple University (Philadelphia), conducted back in 1998, showed that there may be other factors that affect the way we hold hands:
Floor: the hand of a man in a heterosexual couple is much more likely to be above the hand of a woman (regardless of their relationship).
Height: in a pair where the man is taller or the same height as his partner, his hand is on top more often than in a pair where the man is shorter than the woman.
What to do if the beloved does not want to take your hand?
Walking the streets by the hand is not a pleasure for everyone. Many do not consider it necessary to publicly demonstrate their feelings, no matter how deep they may be. If your husband or wife avoids such poetic scenes, this does not mean that he (she) does not love you. Most likely, it is difficult for him to relax in public places. Perhaps he (she) is afraid that, having discovered his love for you, he will look weak (oh), vulnerable (oh), infantile (oh). Changing such a belief is not easy, but you can try the following:
- Before grabbing your companion by the hand in public, conduct the experiment described above to see if he is set up for tactile contact with you in principle. If he keeps his distance, don't take it personally. Instead of being offended, gently explain that the touch of loved ones is soothing and makes you feel better.
- Work on your relationship in general: If you don't feel like hugging and touching each other when you're alone, it's hard to expect that desire to show up in public.
- Be honest with yourself: do you want to hold your partner's hand in public because you love him or because you want to show others that this is your boyfriend (your girlfriend)? Or to prove that you have power over him? If your intentions are not pure, your partner may feel resentful.
