The key to solving a problem lies in how you deal with it.
“The problem is not the problem. It all lies in your attitude towards her."
Capt. Jack Sparrow
In our lives, rarely anything goes according to plan. But no matter how our path turns out, all difficulties strengthen our character and help us become better. In addition, the challenges we face from time to time help us appreciate victories even more and make us look at the world around us differently. And today's world dictates completely different rules, which makes it almost impossible not to face certain types of difficulties.
The key to solving a problem lies in how you deal with it. So read on for some tips that may help you maintain your confidence during the next difficult time when everything around you seems to be falling apart.
11 things to remember when everything falls apart
1. Other people's problems are not yours.
If you are used to empathizing with other people, then you probably feel that only you can solve their problems. However, this behavior can lead to complete exhaustion, and others will begin to perceive you as a personal psychologist or therapist who can be called at any time of the day or night. Of course, showing compassion and support to others is very important, but you need to find a balance between helping others and yourself.
2. Don't stop! Everything is going as it should.
Even if you feel like life is just a series of disasters between short periods of peace, don't give up! All these difficulties serve to test ourselves in order to make us better. They enable us to better cope with future problematic situations and learn valuable life lessons. Without struggle, we will not grow and develop as individuals.
3. Pain is temporary.
Any situation does not last forever: be it a difficult breakup, a struggle for financial stability, family quarrels, or something else. Regardless of what you may have experienced before, calm down and remember that only you are the master of your emotions. You can emerge victorious from any situation and turn the pain you experience into an opportunity for growth.
4. Your pain gives you purpose.
Spiritual teachers of the past used to say that people attract bad situations and pain to themselves only if they themselves have led a negative lifestyle and clogged their minds with corresponding thoughts. This may not always be true, but often any negative situation can be seen as a valuable learning tool and an experience to test ourselves.
5. Make time for prayer or positive energy.
No matter what you may be facing, try to look on the bright side of the situation and turn to your angels or spirit guides for higher wisdom. They will help ease your burdens or worries, giving you new energy to cope with it all. Prayer will remind you that everything on Earth is subject to complex, mysterious and cosmic factors that we cannot always understand.
6. Worry creates more problems, but faith transforms.
No amount of worry will change the situation. This will only cause you more pain and increase the influence of negative energy, creating more obstacles in your life. Keep a positive mindset and hope that the Universe has given you a test to pass and become a better person.
7. Perhaps you should do exactly what you are afraid to do.
The only way to stimulate personal growth is to leave your comfort zone behind. Sometimes, you need to test and test the limits of your own capabilities to find out how resilient you are and discover something new in yourself. You can unearth a new passion and things deep within yourself that you never even thought about or knew about before. Conquer your fears and become a better person.
8. Bad days make you appreciate the good ones even more.
Without bad days, you wouldn't even know there were good days, because everything would turn into one gray solid mass. The funny thing about life is that we cannot know pleasure without pain, sadness, struggle, etc. We live in a dualistic reality, meaning we experience opposite ends of the same spectrum in most life experiences. Cherish the experiences this world has to offer because often your worst brings out your best.
9. Remember that you have enough influence and power over your life.
You don't have to become a victim of circumstances or give up. You are in complete control of your life and can easily turn a bad situation into a good one. Keep in mind that rainbows only appear after rain, so you must weather the storm to live happily later on.
10. If you allow yourself to think negatively, you will once again present yourself as a victim to others.
11. Don't worry, we all have ups and downs.
Just look forward and keep going. The next time you feel overwhelmed by the pressures of modern life, just remember that you and millions of others are in the same position. The best thing you can and should do is to actively participate in your life and do what you like, what you love without a lot of pressure.
Keep calm and keep moving on
Target: reveal the depth and originality of the characters’ inner lives.
Tasks:
- educational - synthesis and deepening of knowledge about the images of the characters in the novel;
- developmental – develop thinking skills;
- educating - to cultivate the desire to know oneself, love for literature and the art of words.
Types of work with students:
- group
- collective
- individual.
Lesson equipment: screen, computer, projector, presentations, film fragments, novel texts, portrait of a writer.
During the classes
The essence of her life is love...
L.N. Tolstoy.
I.Organizational moment
(checking readiness for the lesson).
II. Teacher's word.
Every person is a diamond who can purify or not purify himself. To the extent that it is purified, eternal light shines through it. Therefore, a person’s job is not to try to shine, but to try to purify himself...
L. N. Tolstoy.
We can correlate these words with the heroes of the novel “War and Peace”, with the best of them. The purity of their moral character is manifested in everything: in family life and in everyday life.
Let us remember the topic of the previous lesson: “The life of the local nobility.” Now, at the stage of completing homework, we will listen to the group’s performance. And you guys, write down in your notebook the most characteristic features of the Rostov family.
III. Implementation of homework.
Conversation (speech in groups).
A) Tell us what aspects of the Rostovs’ life Tolstoy portrays in Part IV, Vol. II? What is the main thing Tolstoy emphasizes in the life of the landed nobility?
What does this great word “love” mean?
To do this, look carefully at the screen.
“Love” is a feeling of selfless, heartfelt affection.
We find this interpretation in the “Dictionary of the Russian Language” by S.I. Ozhegova.
“Love” is the state of a lover, passion, affection.
And we see this in the “Explanatory Dictionary” of V.I. Dalia.
Let's follow the development of a great feeling among our heroes.
Students list scenes of hunting, Christmas entertainment, a trip to their uncle, scenes of his singing and Natasha’s dancing, and the Rostovs’ home way of life. Their family still has cordiality, cordiality, sensitivity, naturalness, hospitality, and purity of moral character. In all scenes, Tolstoy emphasizes the closeness of the local nobility to nature and the common people. This is what allows Tolstoy to see positive heroes in Rostov.
The hunting scene reflects the theme of “man and nature”; the author interestingly shows the similarities in the behavior of people and animals (“the hunter Danila gallops towards the notch just like Karai (the dog) – across the path of the beast, choosing the only right direction).
The scenes in the uncle's house are important for understanding the characters. Their uncle’s singing and Natasha’s dancing reveal their closeness to the people, their understanding of the Russian spirit and character (but not as an understanding of the needs of the people) - “Where, how, when did this countess suck into herself from that Russian air that she breathed. .-... and in the aunt, and in the mother, in every Russian person.” “Uncle sang the way the people sing...” Tolstoy solves the problem: is mutual understanding possible between different layers of society (“peace”, “harmony” between them) - and answers that it is possible. “How nice he is, uncle!” - Nikolai Rostov says about him. Tolstoy repeats the words more than once: harmony, charm, happiness, good, excellent. That’s why Natasha is happy because she felt her closeness with the people. “You know,” she suddenly said, “I know that I will never be as happy, as calm as I am now.”
B) Another topic, the resolution of which is included in Volume II, is the depiction of the heroes’ love.
Not only the main characters: Andrei, Pierre, Natasha - experience a feeling of love at this time, but also secondary characters: Dolokhov, Denisov, Nikolai Rostov, Sonya, Berg, B. Drubetskoy, etc. Without love there is no life.
- Does Helen have a “heart” (in Tolstoy’s understanding)?
Helen Kuragina has never loved anyone, her heart is dead. She doesn’t just get carried away and make mistakes, moving from admirer to admirer, but this is her conscious line of behavior. That is why depravity and evil appear, because she has no shame, but only base instincts. In the novel, Napoleon says about her: “This is a beautiful animal.” The baseness of her behavior with Pierre, her connection with Dolokhov and B. Drubetsky, her ugly role in the story with Natasha and Anatole, her attempt to marry two husbands at once while Pierre was alive - everything creates the image of a depraved and calculating social beauty. “Where you are, there is depravity, evil,” Pierre said about her, and this exhausts her description. Remember the words Pierre said to Anatole: “Oh, vile, heartless breed!”
- Berg and Vera Rostova. Does Berg love Vera?
It’s not a matter of material calculation (Berg could have found a bride even richer) and not only a desire to become related to the counts. Berg loves Vera in his own way, because he finds a kindred spirit in her. “And I love her... - which completely personified his dreams of happiness.” The love of these heroes does not elevate them, it also does not come from the heart, because Berg does not have a heart, or he has it as neat and dry as he himself.
- Tell us what guided B. Drubetsky’s relationship with Julie Kuragina.
Related to this turn of the theme of love in the novel is the story of B. Drubetsky’s marriage, using the example of which the author once again emphasizes the falsehood and self-interest in the relationships of people of the world. Tolstoy shows what guides people of high society when entering into marriages (Nizhny Novgorod forests, Penza estates, not love).
- What is the charm of the pages dedicated to the beginning of the love of Natasha Rostova and Prince Andrei?
The charm of this love is created by its moral purity. Prince Andrei was attracted to Natasha by her poetry, her fullness of life, purity, and spontaneity. The desire for happiness inherent in her awakens the strength of other people. Her singing gives Prince Andrei pleasure; he is amazed by Natasha’s sensitivity, ability to guess someone else’s mood, and understand everything perfectly. And Natasha fell in love with Prince Andrei, felt his inner strength and nobility. The words of Prince Andrei: “The whole world is divided for me into two halves: one is she, and there is all the happiness, hope, light; the other half is everything where she is not there, everything is dull and dark there...” and Natasha’s: “... but this has never happened to me” - they convince of the strength and seriousness of their feelings.
- How does Tolstoy describe the emergence and development of this love?
Ball scene. We feel Natasha’s subtlest emotions. When Prince Andrei invited Natasha, her smile seemed to tell him: “I’ve been waiting for you for a long time.”
The arrival of Prince Andrei to the Rostovs’ house after the ball is full of poetry, the way he listens to Natasha singing and answers the question of whether he likes her singing. “It never even occurred to him that he was in love with Rostova,” but “his whole life seemed to him in a new light.”
The carefully tender expression on Prince Andrei’s face and the bright light of Natasha’s inner fire at the Bergs’ evening are a new step in this love. Their explanation, conversations, Prince Andrei’s departure - all this is remembered. The author follows all the shades of thoughts and feelings of his characters.
- Natasha's betrayal. How do you explain and evaluate this act?
The power of Natasha’s own repentance is great, the moral consequences of her betrayal for her and others are grave, the grief that she caused to Prince Andrei is great, but Natasha’s passion for Anatole does not come from the depravity of her nature, but from her youth, overcrowding with life and inexperience. For her, this is not a habitual line of behavior, as for Helen, but a mistake that she will soon understand, but will not soon forgive herself.
- What place does love occupy in the characters’ lives?
What to do when it “seems” that your whole life is “collapsing”
Below I present three letters - one addressed to me (with the permission of the author and with minor changes) and two simply found on the Internet as living examples; you will definitely see analogies and even similar phrases, plus the identity of the problem. And when there is a problem, you need to SEEK ITS SOLUTION.
"What's happening, everything is collapsing
My whole life is crumbling before my eyes, many years of struggle for my child’s health, my husband lost his job, I had to move, I’m losing dear people... and it seems that all this seems to have been planned and is coming to fruition... everything is so difficult.. I feel broken. Through my life at least make a movie. Tell me what astrology thinks about this...and WHERE?? FIND these forces- about which you write... I will try... Very much...”
**
Hello, I am 22 years old, I am married, I have a beautiful daughter. It all started from the moment I became pregnant. My husband and I had just gotten married. everything was fine, but one day came a crisis, My husband was fired from his job. I worked as long as I could, then I went on maternity leave. She gave birth to a child, and then constant moving began. there were 5 of them over the last year. My husband seemed to be working, but somehow everything didn’t work out and he decided to take up entrepreneurial activity. At first everything seemed to work out, but then everything got worse...then... Anka owes a large sum, now they are suing. Not long ago I found out that I was pregnant again. Of course, I understood that it was not on time, but I was still very happy. my husband was not so positive. then the bleeding started. I called an ambulance, the hospital said that the child had been dead for a long time... it was not just a blow! They did the cleaning... Now a month has passed, I seem to have calmed down. but with money everything is bad . and my husband decided to work part-time in a taxi today on the first day I lost all my documents and money…
I'm n I don’t know how to live further and what to do, this is the last straw, I d I can't even cry anymore, I sit and giggle stupidly. and the worst thing is that I’m afraid of the future, because this is not a complete list of what happened to me over the past two years...
Help me please! How to find strength in yourself survive all this? how to start over
Thank you in advance…..
**
what to do if life collapses?!
I’m losing all interest in life and the fight for a brighter future, I’ve just come to terms with the fact that I’m always alone (for quite a long period of my life)... And in recent years, in general everything went bad, now I’m unemployed, I owe the bank a large amount, crashed my car today….
I'm just tired already I'm tired of life, I can't even cry, because I’m tired...tired of these problems....the only thing that I think keeps me in this world is that I love my parents.. But for some reason it seems to me that this will soon not be a hindrance for me, I can’t do this next...tell me what should I do?
EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN SANTA BARBARA
In all three of these messages we see that problems roll in like a snowball and at some point some unpleasant event occurs (note - non-fatal!) and the person “breaks down”, that is, he reaches the limit of patience and catharsis occurs. Or the peak of the development cycle of his crisis situation.
Firstly, a person is deep inside a situation that seems to him to be a dead end. Looking from the outside, it doesn't seem so to us. It’s not without reason that they say that you need to “rise above” in order to see the whole picture or from a wider perspective. After all, everything is not so bad.
For example, we often compare ourselves with others - especially when they have something better or have something that we don’t have, and this plunges us into negative feelings of self-pity, envy, sadness, etc.
In this situation of “total collapse”, as advice, you can also suggest comparing your misfortunes with the misfortunes of others in order to feel better.
For example, some women do not have husbands and have to take care of themselves and their children, earn money, solve problems, make decisions, etc.
Some people don’t have a car and have to travel by public transport. Some people don’t have the money to afford to go abroad or just to the sea, etc. Someone does not have health, body parts, vision and hearing, parents, children, housing, etc.
Look at Nick Vuychich - if you think that everything is “bad” for you or that you have been deprived of something. He has neither arms nor legs, but he was able to cope with despondency and despair and even became rich, married a young beauty who bore him a child. He is a living motivation “not to be a victim.”
Are you still feeling bad? And do you feel left out?
Sometimes it seems to us that our life is like “Santa Barbara”, with many difficult moments, the first heroine even wrote that a film could be made based on her life, but look around - look at the lives of the people around you, delve into their stories. Each is its own movie, its own unique script, its own series and its own setbacks and failures. Well, who among us hasn’t lost a job? Hands up. Who among us has not been abandoned by a loved one? Any hands up? Who hasn't experienced financial difficulties, major losses, disasters, injuries and accidents? I think that all readers of this article are already sitting with their hands raised. Write if this is not the case.
I myself thought for a long time that the sphere of my personal relationships was completely Santa Barbara and that there was no more unhappy girl in the world, and then I saw that with others it happens not so, much more dramatic and complex.
Conclusion: your life is the same as hundreds and thousands of others, in some ways better, in some ways worse, and YOU ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING TO BE THANKFUL FOR.
Advice: try to help yourself get out of the victim state in which you are now to the state of the creator of your life or someone who is able to get out of this dead end, by changing your attitude to what is happening and changing the perspective of attention from focusing on “everything is bad” to focusing on that - A what do you want instead and how to achieve it.
In no way do I want to encourage you to ignore the problem, I ask you reset its importance, refocus. And this is the first step towards solving it.
They say that God does not give trials beyond our strength - we are able to get out of difficult situations, the main thing is to concentrate and gather ourselves. There are many examples when people came out of the most unimaginable situations, help came at the very last moment and in the most miraculous way. But you need to ask about it - God, the Highest.
In moments of despair, go to Him and pray for help, give your situation to Him for consideration. Say what you want, thank him and promise to accept everything as His will, humbly. And no matter what happens next, just live it, accepting it. You cannot sew a severed leg back, so sometimes you need to learn to walk on a prosthesis and live in new conditions. Some even manage to become Olympic champions in this state. We always have a choice - to lie down and “die”, to give up and despair, to fight and win.
Sometimes it seems to us that life is over and there is no point in living further, hope is dying, but in reality it is not the end of life, it is the end of one of its chapters and then a new chapter opens. Let there be something different in it, but this is life, a different plot, a different script, and we have everything to write the best script in this chapter.
CLASSICS OF THE GENRE
Events that are generally considered the most negative are classics of the genre - divorce, loss of work and livelihood, loss of valuables, death of loved ones, health problems, injuries and accidents.
Any person experiences crisis, stress, depression and other negative feelings at this time, but you can react to them in different ways, for some it will be the “end of life”, and for others the “beginning of a new one”. From the success stories of famous, rich and successful people, we can learn that they also had to go through such “bifurcation points” (the moment of no return), that is, difficult moments when everything collapsed for them, losses occurred, and other crises, but precisely from which began the starting point of their future success.
One of the major information businessmen said that his beloved girlfriend left him, after which he finally got up from the couch and created his own business. Now he is rich and another girl has been found whom he happily married. Another famous blogger and trainer shared the story that a major car accident forced her to change her life dramatically, quit a prestigious job, leave a foreign country, think about the future, return to the country and create her own online training business. And there are millions of such stories. Because that's how the Universe works. We develop through crises.
How else can we be woken up or pulled out of our usual routine, how can we be encouraged to evolve and develop? The Universe knocks on windows and doors, and if we don’t hear, then on our heads... so that we finally do something in our lives; or simply changed something, perhaps long desired, but ignored; or simply followed their Path, from which they deviated, etc.
Metaphorically, a comparison can be made - when a mother calls her child, but he does not hear or ignores the call, then the parent screams louder or even comes up and uses brute force in order to attract attention, so Our Heavenly Father calls, shouts and sometimes does what -to draw our attention to ourselves.
And yes, crisis situations are a close path to God, because many of us remember His existence only in difficult moments. And this is a great chance to turn to Him.
Conclusion: Crisis situations draw your attention to Self, Truth and the Highest. Perhaps the time has come for changes in your life and you should not resist them. Perhaps it's time to take your Power. Perhaps this is a test of strength (more about this below in the Astrological interpretation of events).
Advice: try to change your attitude towards what is happening, reorient yourself from the end to a new beginning, be flexible and do not fall into despair - there is a way out of ANY SITUATION, even yours.
Well, judge for yourself - you lost your job, you will definitely find another one, you just need to make an effort and search hard. If you have suffered material damage, say “thank you, Lord, for taking me with money.” Your lover has left you, learn to live in love with yourself and life.
Does it feel like the world is collapsing? This is wrong! He's just rebuilding. And perhaps for you!
Each planet has its own cycle, for example, the cycle of the Moon, which reflects the structure of life processes - everything has birth, development, culmination and decline/death/end. At the moment when several negative stories coincide in life at once (there are positive ones too, but we rarely note this as something significant), the climax, the full moon of life, comes. After some time there will be a decline.
On full moons, you usually need to part with something that has become obsolete; these are times of heightened emotionality and difficulties in controlling it. A little later, you will look at what happened with much less tragic .
At these moments you need allow yourself to feel your emotions.
Saturn has long cycles, a full cycle lasting about 29-30 years and intermediate cycles of seven years. Saturn is considered a harsh planet, and I often associate it with Morozko from the fairy tale of the same name, when he tested the strength of the main characters by asking them “if they were warm” and then gave them gifts according to their test scores. Likewise, life (Saturn) tests how humble, strong, wise, and ready to take responsibility for one’s life and become its Authors.
Here is the woman who wrote the first letter, just going through Second Saturn Return(occurs around age 59-60). This is a time of another restructuring of life, challenges of fate, tests and great opportunities with the task of determining long-term goals for your further development. We perceive this time as a time of crises, we can be sad and despair, but Saturn is a strict and fair Teacher, he will bestow us in the future, but after a difficult period of change and restructuring.
Saturn asks us to engage in soul-searching and self-knowledge, to go through the process of re-inventorying ourselves and our ways of life. We may encounter something that does not work in our life, limitations and obstacles, see gaps, weak points. Saturn slows us down so that we can look with a firm and cold gaze at the reality we have built in our lives and find new ways and means to become a true author - an authority - in our lives. We have another chance to be the one who we really are.
In mythology, Saturn is associated with the harvest, with rewards for efforts made. If we are willing to wait, work, persevere. Saturn is a strict Teacher and he asks us to clear away our psychological and physical garbage and dig up the soil (our psyche) before we plant new seeds (new intentions/new life). During the Return we have the chance for real change and life-renewing rewards. This is truly a planet of opportunity.
During the Second Return, the wisdom of the Elder comes. Our personal and public safety is being reconsidered. This is a difficult time and harvest time, the results of work over the past years.
We ask a lot of questions at this time. We cannot repeat past mistakes. We are taking the first steps towards new beginnings.
Saturn often asks, “Whose movie am I in?” and challenges being a director and screenwriter. It would be too easy to read the lines of a well-known script. Instead, we must become Self-Authors and become the true Authors of our lives.
We need to rewrite the script of our lives. It's not always easy, our lives are full of people and situations that no longer reflect who we are. The human unconscious often creates situations that challenge us. It is as if it is hiring other people to play certain roles in our life story - this one will be the boss, this one will be the victim, and this one will be the unfaithful lover. Saturnian post-checks in life are associated with moments when these people play their roles and the time comes to adjust their life script. We must take back our projections and look at the drama of our lives as OUR responsibility. And don't blame anyone.
During the Second Return, Saturn calls for concrete action in the real world, but it is all very subtle. If we don't do what we need to do, we may never get a second chance. If you put off checking your health, it may be too late. If you don't admit to yourself that “my job is killing me, but I need to wait until I retire,” it may actually kill you.
As the body ages, fatigue and depression increase, the body is no longer an object of pride and then the Spirit has a chance to come forward. Some old habits may show their heads and need to be cut off. You may be asking yourself, “why do I have to deal with this issue again?” and the answer will be “because you’ve almost solved it.” Now you look at things more wisely and maturely. With the gift of wisdom, you complete unfinished tasks and situations.
At this time, you need to clean the very foundations - the basements of your existence and look at your de-idealizations, let the illusions go away. Now is the time to slow down and allow nice things to come into your life.
We can return to what gives the fruits of our experience - a certain project, something that we can do well and even better.
When everything in life seems to be falling apart... start thinking about what you will build in the vacant space. Osho
And here are the tools to help you pass the Saturnian checks:
1 Be discerning(discern (English) – to distinguish, recognize)
Since I am wiser today than I was a year ago and know much more, I can wisely use choices based on clarity of intentions. Dream of a future with a clearly visible path between the trees. “Know yourself” and “Nothing superfluous” - the inscriptions from the Delphic Temple are clearly for me. Now I need to step back from the excesses of youth and clearly understand what I can and cannot do.
2 Be cordial
Take courage and ask knowledgeable people for advice. And in myself: how much I project my insecurities and fears into the surrounding reality, making my life miserable, unable to take responsibility and cordially perceive those around me.
3 Go deeper
“All or nothing” is a rather superficial quick fix, but Saturn doesn’t like quick fixes. No quick decisions or things done in a hurry! It is better to withstand the tension of tearing contradictions and internal conflicts until a new form of the idea appears. And only then is it time to get out of your usual comfort zone and do it! “Dig deep - you will find precious water at the very bottom!”
4 Take action!
In the end, Saturn rewards those who do and depresses those who postpone from day to day.
It’s ironic - but while we are waiting (for the warmth and good weather of spring - by the sea of good weather :)) Saturn is testing us for the strength of our faith - rebirth and rebirth. We are like seeds on a windowsill, waiting for seedlings and watering. And in due time we must act, dig deep, separate the weeds from the emerging flowers...
...everything comes in due time..
We went into great detail on the Saturn Return cycle (especially for my reader who asked the question), but there are also many other cycles - for example, the Uranus opposition and the Neptune square at the age of about 40-42 years old called the Midlife Crisis, the Jupiter Return - occurs every 12 years old and also marks the beginning and end of certain milestones in life, an upgrade in life style. Personal cycles can be learned through consultations with astrologers, and everyone has their own working astro influences in difficult moments of life.
Conclusion: The events taking place are influenced by planetary, cosmic and other cycles.
Advice: if you need support in times of crisis, contact professional therapists (psychologists, astrologers, etc.) and support groups, ask for help from friends and family. They will definitely help you regain your lost hope.
Do it through the page
I'm going to take you through a seven-step self-help program, from small to large, from superficial to deep...
A program that will help you find
happiness, beauty, truth and love
“I hear a lot of people say the world is crashing and burning. How to learn to live in such conditions? Help!"
I receive letters like this all the time.
So, How can one survive all these turbulent, anxiety-inducing times?
I'm going to take you through a seven-step self-help program, from small to large, from superficial to deep, and then we'll discuss the thinking behind it.
1. Nourish your relationships. How's the friend you haven't called in ten years? How's that cousin you've never talked to?
Call them, write an email or send them a message.
Create your social connections - not in the cynical way we are used to doing now, but in the traditional sense: your circle should consist of people who care and support each other.
Not only will it give you strength, confidence and happiness, but you won't feel lonely or anxious.
And maybe new opportunities will appear in your life.
In an era where social systems and contracts are crumbling, your first step is to gradually build meaningful relationships with people.
2. Nourish your mind. Do you consider yourself “educated”? It's a delusion.
Education may no longer be a guarantee of wealth, but it is still considered the key to a good life.
No, not for everyone – there are many hungry professors today.
Therefore, even with education, a person must be a strategist.
This means you need:
1) continue to learn throughout your life,
2) serve others,
3) find a path to your independence.
Every few years you should receive new certificates, diplomas, etc. You need to always—always—dig deeper into a topic, area, or area.
Computer genius? Study ancient literature. Writer? Study philosophy.
The world does not need narrow specialists and armies of Zuckerbergs who have never picked up a book - it needs civilized people.
Become this way - nourish the whole mind, and not some separate part of it.
3. Combine everything. Embrace the idea of what I call a “patchwork” career/life/approach.
Let me explain with an example.
I was an economist, a banker, a corporate executive. Now who am I? I think I'm a writer - consultant - coach: it's a career I just made up. I write articles, consult with institutions, and conduct trainings from time to time.
At the same time, I’m doing a few other things, which I won’t talk about yet.
You won't have just one career—you'll have many.
The economy is fragmented, and so is the idea of “work.”
There are two ways out - bad, neo-feudal work, and good, combining different career threads.
Just do what helps you move forward - choose threads and develop them at the same time: I write every day, speak sometimes, conduct trainings and consult several times a week - and I think about it all constantly.
Combine your skills. The point is that you do it your way, not the way others want you to do it.
4. Strive for independence. Destroyed, bankrupt institutions - is this what you place your hopes on?
Independence, rather than forced "downward mobility" (going down the social ladder) which is the price of institutional dependence, should be your goal.
However, the dilemma is this: unless you're lucky, you won't have as secure and stable a life as your parents did—no matter how many degrees you get, how hard you work, or how much you do.
Take a breath. Accept it. Everything is fine. It's not your fault, but you may have something that in most cases is not available to them: independence.
Here are a few small steps.
- Buy inexpensive housing and renovate.
- Set aside a few dollars each month (the amount doesn't matter).
- Grow your assets - home, savings, investments.
- Patchwork career and income.
- Patchwork assets, savings, own safety nets.
Independence comes this way.
5. You don't need the whole world to be happy. The bottom line is that you don't need a high standard of living to be happy.
In fact, a more modest standard of living brings more happiness, sanity, meaning, meaning, purpose, compassion, empathy, courage, because with wealth comes a huge burden on your shoulders.
The richer a person becomes, the more of these things disappear, because money and power bring with them envy, greed, callousness, anxiety, anger.
Take some time to reflect on this.
You don't need the whole world to live. You don't need much at all. As income increases, happiness does not increase, but, on the contrary, decreases.
I don't usually like to cite statistics, but it's true.
Hence, Don't waste your days on useless things: Yes, you may not have much, but can’t you be happy if you have it?!
Humility and grace come to us in a pragmatic way when we realize that we are small creatures in this desperate and uncertain world and that, as strange as it may sound, we need a lot to be happy, loving, real, kind and beautiful.
6. Nourish your sanity, that is, take care of your mental health. Have you ever wondered why people today obsessively go to the gym, but take little care of their mental health?
How strange. To achieve such happiness, you need to do hard work. Which one? Where is it hidden?
It's hidden in your sanity. But sanity is something that comes to us slowly.
Ten years ago I was volcanic, hot, destructive - I destroyed everything good I touched (and called it conquest).
Now I am much calmer, quieter, softer. And that's why I'm happier.
What changed? I experienced serious trauma - for a year I thought that I only had a month to live. At that time all I could think about was life.
But you can do it too, but let's say in a different way: remember that philosophy club you always wanted to join? What about the memoirs of sick people? What about the therapist you’ve been wanting to see for a long time? Do it.
Start taking care of your mental health. But I mean taking real care of your mental health, not the capitalist knockoff called “self-help.”
You will need to understand yourself more deeply - “What hurt me?”, “What lesson did I learn from this?”, “What did I learn?” - to realize what happiness is.
But simply understanding yourself is also the greatest gift, because in the materialistic, capitalistic, competitive culture our parents lived in, there was no need or even reason to do so. They replaced themselves with things.
7. Embrace your freedom (stop trying to compete with your parents, friends, colleagues, the old world).
In a sense, you are freer precisely because of the decline and collapse.
Freer from what? From materialism, rationalism, disunity, selfishness, cruelty, their burden. Or at least you can be.
You see, our parents were told that they had to be like this in order to have all those wonderful things that provided a certain standard of living - cars, mansions, etc.
Thus a false connection was made between who you were and what you had.
Or chains thrown, in fact.
Today you no longer need to wear these shackles - although you may not have gotten rid of them yet.
However, everything is in your hands. If you have always thought that more things will lead to more happiness and admiration and that more power will lead to more importance, which is more, then you yourself must realize that this is not true and that you are wrong about life.
More things don't make anyone freer.
If you were raised in a successful family, it will be difficult for you to understand that such beliefs imprison you - you cannot succeed as well as your parents, but you can become happier, kinder, more grateful, educated, wiser and braver than them – if only you refuse competition.
But if you are still trying to compete with them, then you will always be unhappy.
The world is changing dramatically, isn't it? Why then can't you change?
Your real task at the moment is to change too, but in the opposite direction.
Take a step forward, despite the fact that the world is moving backward.
We're not talking about superficial self-help books. Become a truly different person. Shining. To those whom the world needs and hopes for. This person is right inside you.
All these names of love, which we call courage, wisdom, beauty, grace, truth - where did it all go? Nowhere.
Look inside yourself. When you cling to yesterday, you are actually saying, “I can’t change! It's too scary! I'm afraid!".
I'm here to tell you that you can do anything.
And perhaps our common goal in these turbulent and frightening times is not just to build better institutions and societies, but also to become more aware, wise, mature people, whose eyes sparkle with wonder and gratitude for every day we live.
Take a deep breath. Ready? Then let's go. published .
If you have any questions, please ask
P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness, we are changing the world together! © econet
