We adults remember well how we used to make fun of each other at school and have fun during breaks. And although the jokes were sometimes unpleasant, all the bad things had long been forgotten and remained in the past.
And today is our selection of funny and cool poems about school and teachers, about school camp and “harmful” advice for schoolchildren. Read with your children and remember the fun time of your school years.
I miss my own school...
Funny poems about school for children 7-8 years old
They say there are schools
Where the fence is is from a palisade.
To all the children from these schools
They stake very often!
But!
There are many other schools
Where they don’t put a “stake” at all,
What do you call the fences there?
I suggest:
"Frequents"!
Grandfathers to school
No need to walk.
I wish I could
Live to see this.
A. Givargizov
We've been here for an hour today
They cleaned out the new class.
A hundred toffee papers
A hundred bits and notes
We discovered it.
There were only three lessons
Not five
And not six.
How did we manage to do so much?
Write, read and eat?!!
Makhotin S.
I was walking home from school
Slowly slowly,
He kept coming up with excuses.
Carrying a four
According to natural history,
And in Russian -
Half a quarter.
Aldonina R.
Here dad gives it!
I found my dad's school
Tattered Diary
With a football table,
With a touring singer,
A page with a checklist,
Where did the fat stake originate?
And I walked around happy -
The diary is so cool!
S. Makhotin
Crows
Tell,
What do you constantly dream about?
Crows,
What are they flying around the school?
Learn to read?
Learn to write?
Is it great to spin on rings in the gym?
No!
Make noise during recess?
Play and laugh?
Maybe,
Eat in the school canteen?
No!
Crows,
That they fly around the school
They dream about it every day with impatience,
What their great-grandmothers also dreamed about:
Crows dream
So that they COUNT!
L. Fadeeva
Just leaving for school
Just leaving for school,
Yes, I sat at my desk,
Yes, I signed my name in the notebook,
Yes, I looked at the board,
I got noisy during recess,
I listened to all my friends -
All of a sudden
Holidays
For some reason
They attacked me!
V. Berestov
Missed school
Am I overheated in the sun, or what?
Suddenly I missed my own school.
Miracles! I'm 6 now, for example,
I would just give an example like this,
And I would remember a couple of rules,
Just so that the mind does not rust.
Yesterday we went to the forest to pick mushrooms,
I remembered: we need to make a herbarium!
And the neighbor's preschooler Lizka
I read the poem in English.
Petka teases: “Poor summer resident!
Bring your child a problem book!
Fail him on the test!
Then he will be very happy!”
I understand it myself: it’s ridiculous.
What would I do if it weren’t for summer?!
I wanted to have some fun in the wild!
And now I miss school...
M. Borisova
On Tuesday the bed let me down -
I couldn't wake up on time.
I forgot my briefcase the day before yesterday
There was a banana in it - I had to go back.
I figured out my mistakes,
I wanted to come on time today,
But I went too fast
And flew past the school.
Watch this video with your children, where you will find many other cool, playful, humorous and funny poems about school.
If it's break at school, then there's bound to be a fight!
Funny poems about school for children 10-11 years old
Mathematics is known
You are the queen of all sciences!
But one day I saw
Like a spider crawling in the corner,
About the task and examples
I immediately forgot
For such a monster
I made a house out of chewing gum.
If it's a break at school,
So, a fight is a must!
Here Popov is pushing Petrov,
Treblet Koshkin Komarova,
Mosquitoes are already squeaking -
The new form is cracking!
And at the new break
I gave Popov to Gena,
And the Mosquito attacked the Cat
And I gave him a little.
That's what change is for,
So that there are shifts in fights!
You can sleep on math
In botany and Russian.
In gym class
Out of habit, though, it’s narrow,
Hard and rather high -
The horizontal bar still presses -
I put cotton wool
And I’m almost used to it already.
Birds sleep on branches, chickens,
Flies sleep on the ceiling...
In gym class
Andrey is sleeping on the horizontal bar.
I will study for many years
Don't yawn and don't be lazy,
Don't hide in the silence of the night
Over the notebooks of the eyes,
So that, after completing the training course,
Having received a medical diploma,
Make a stern face
And send a letter:
"Citizen school director,
Come for injections!”
Bad I.
I wrote cheat sheets all night!
Didn't sleep, exhausted, tired.
Now I’m standing, pulling for a ticket
- Will I be happy or not?
And now, the ticket is already in your hands,
There is white in the eyes, like in the clouds...
- Hooray! I wrote all night for good reason!
“Napoleon,” I read.
It's in my cheat sheet!
I wish I could read it now.
I'm hiding like a cockroach
And I reach into my right pocket.
I'm reading: "Crimean War".
I don't need this topic!
And quietly, like a cockroach,
I reach into my left pocket.
I look: “The Baptism of Rus'.”
Have mercy, O Lord!
Well, how can I pass the exam?!
And I started looking for a cheat sheet!
I searched in boots and socks,
In a shirt, in trousers, in a jacket!
And I was terribly surprised
Where did Napoleon go?!
But my thought suddenly woke up!
And I, having overcome my fear,
I remembered everything I wrote about!
And a flurry of knowledge erupted!
Austerlitz, Napoleon,
Kutuzov and Bagration!
Council in Fili, fire in Moscow, -
Everything was found in my head!
So I got an A
But frankly speaking,
I'm saddened to the point of tears now,
Why did you take the cheat sheet to school?
Varlamova T.
Why are children usually so smart, but parents usually are not? Apparently, because children go to school.
Alexandre Dumas (son)
Funny poems about school camp
We've waited for the red summer,
The diaries were abandoned.
We will rest for a long time -
All the way until autumn!
Dusty city, goodbye!
Goodbye family!
Wave goodbye -
I'm going to school camp!
It's good to be with friends -
We sing a sonorous song.
In our wonderful camp
We'll have a great month!
Hikes and tournaments await us,
Discos, quizzes.
River, sun, beach and forest.
Even the “Field” has “miracles”.
Don't be bored, dad, mom -
Camp is not a drama...
I'll be sad about the house -
I'll notify you right away.
Mom, don't shed tears:
The camp is full of friends,
I'll run and sunbathe
And take a break from school!
Mom, I'm going to camp
And my friends are with me.
I promise to listen to adults
And eat any porridge!
I picked up a bunch of dresses
Fashionista Marinka.
For exercise and hiking
Walks like a “picture”!
My friend and I fall asleep,
We love to sleep for a long time.
But from eight in the morning our camp,
And you have to get up!
Don't worry, dads, moms,
Summer holidays are the best!
Let's rest here for twenty days -
You don't recognize the children.
To your teachers
Here we openly say:
- We have a lot of trouble with you
This change will bring.
We will help the kids with everything -
Let's put them to bed quickly.
We'll have fun ourselves,
Dance, play, get mad.
School camp is just awesome!
At our school camp
There are a lot of good guys:
There are Tanyushas, and Katyushas, and Antoshis.
We go to the pool and the park,
We even go to the zoo.
They feed us deliciously in the dining room -
We're having a great time relaxing!
Anna Kuchkina
Tanned, wild,
Got dirty, washed -
Discos and dates
In our daring heads.
But they called mom
And, contrary to desires,
Packing our bags
With tears in his eyes…
Larisa Shatunova
We wish you happiness, our dear teacher!
Funny poems about school and teachers
Teacher,
With me
You did it
Cruel
But not on your own
I got hurt
Wine.
The shell rustled
During the lesson…
And the sea is all around
extended
Wide…
And rushed
The ship is mine
Towards the wave...
From the spectacle
It was impossible to tear it away
Eye…
Teacher,
Why are you
brought me back
To class?
Ostrovsky S.
For yours, for the work of the teacher,
Part tamer
class leader
We say thank you!
Thank you for participating,
Verbs and participles,
For Pushkin and Chekhov
We thank you!
Thanks for the botany
Valence and organics,
For current and for mechanics
Thanks again!
We hope you forgive
For taking the Bastille,
Much easier than investing
Any knowledge is within us!
Ungrateful teacher
My friend Petrov Kirill
I attached the button to the chair.
Only the teacher wanted to sit down -
I managed to remove that chair,
Proud that this time,
So I saved the teacher.
He didn't say thank you -
He sent me for my father.
Lara Ivanovna
What a strange day today!
Petrov opened the door with a bow -
He let Marina Glebovna in,
And then our whole class jumped up!
Maksimov brings her a bouquet,
Singers - a box of chocolates,
The girls, shouting joyfully,
Large crystal jug.
And I'm the only one sitting
I'm in the general hubbub - I'm not buzzing.
My gift is cooler than theirs,
He will outshine others!
Yes! The teacher will be happy -
Yesterday I learned a lesson!
Frolov A.
Holidays
The bell rang -
Vacation
The beginning is announced!
Tolya jumped up and down madly,
Olya screamed wildly.
And then we looked at each other
And they rushed out into the street
From open doors.
Who runs the fastest?
Who flies, overtaking everyone
Fourteen steps?
No, not a poor student of Trams,
Not an excellent student of Chests,
And the elementary school teacher
Pyotr Antonovich Tarasov!
He is so happy about the holidays!
After all, for school days
He's tired of screaming
And even more so jumping.
Tormented me with clever words
Irrepressible Chests,
And shy Tramvaev
He got it without words at all.
Petr Antonovich Tarasov
Never set foot in class all summer!
We wish you happiness
Our dear teacher!
N. Khatkina
Learning is light, but textbooks are darkness!
V. Skuratovsky
Have fun in class and walk on your head...
Harmful, funny advice about school for schoolchildren in verse
The summer has already flown by,
You'll be going to school soon,
Scatter things in your briefcase -
You'll find everything quickly!
Don't forget to take your pipe to school,
And, of course, a whistle,
In class, recess
Make a little noise, bro.
At a fun break
Walk on your head -
And then for behavior
You will get two deuces.
Chew your rubber bands,
Pens and pencils.
Clean miracle pencil cases
Only babies hold!
Have fun in class
Study jokes
It's a shame they don't give it in Russian
Strong, aromatic tea.
And on music, my friend,
Sing ku-ka-re-ku.
If the phone beeps,
Then you sing along with him.
At a drawing lesson
Paint the walls with oil,
Draw the desk with gouache
Show it to your neighbor.
Technology lesson
Cut the fabric with scissors,
Only the teacher will say something -
Sit down and eat a bun.
And the teacher on the chair
Spread the strongest glue,
The teacher won't be able to get up
At least he'll go on board.
And in the canteen there are two supplements
Eat it in one sitting,
Then everyone will say about you:
“The student eats so much!”
The letters are all distorted
Don't forget in English
Write the letter “i” without a dot,
It will get by somehow.
In gym class,
Cut the rope immediately
I assure you: every schoolchild,
He will certainly be happy.
Leo Tolstoy and Sladkov
Don't forget to mix it up
Better on literature
Blow the pipe quietly and quietly.
If schoolchildren were called
On Saturday, clean up,
It's better to do nothing
And wave your hands.
From the very morning on duty
Be rude from the heart
And then it's a good day
Secured ahead.
Complete homework assignment -
Forget about this,
Your teacher will cost
Without any checks.
Don't work in class
Twos and threes are nonsense.
What the teacher explains
Don't ever listen.
Have fun in class
And walk on your head.
You will become very popular
They will talk about you everywhere.
Eva P.
If you start right away
Only get A's -
At home they will soon get used to them
And they won't notice.
Therefore, turn on your brains:
Get a couple of deuces
Mom will be indignant
But don’t argue, just keep quiet.
And then again
You can get five
Mom will definitely become
Kiss and hug.
Take a secret look at her
And sit and groan,
Hint: these fives are
Oh, they are not easy!
Bundur O.
Bring a stake from school,
Don't learn your lessons,
Play football all day long
Laugh in class.
Don't pump up your muscles
Don't go to physical education
And if you go, then from the horse
Run away like from fire.
Put a slingshot in your briefcase,
Drum and horse.
You shout in class
Beat your drum.
Mila Swallow
The magazine "Yeralash" contains the funniest videos about school. Watch the video “My Dream School” with your children.
Based on the poems of G. Oster
Dance "In Every Little Child"
1: Scientists have recently discovered that there are naughty children in the world who do everything the other way around.
2: They are given helpful advice: “Wash your face in the morning”
3: And they take it and don’t wash it.
4: They are told: “Say hello to each other,”
5: They immediately start not saying hello.
6: Scientists have come up with the idea that such children should be given not useful, but harmful advice.
7: They will do everything the other way around, and it will turn out just right.
8: These tips
All: For naughty children!
9: Why?
All: Never ask yourself stupid questions,
Otherwise, you will find an even more stupid answer to them.
If stupid questions appear in your head,
Ask them straight away to adults,
All: Let their brains crack.
Bad advice about school.
Plug your ears with cotton before the first of September
And relax in silence during lessons,
Watching with interest as a teacher at the blackboard
He opens his mouth silently and moves his lips.
How nice it will be to take the cotton wool out of your ears in May!
All: How spacious it will be for thoughts to tumble around in your head!
If you, without asking permission to enter,
In the middle of the lesson you run into the classroom,
Don't forget to tell the teacher strictly
That today you are unhappy with him again.
May he help his elderly parents
He will tell you to come to school tomorrow.
You will have a serious conversation with them,
Because it's no longer possible to forgive
These are his ugly tricks.
Why does he start the lesson without you?
All: Can't he wait for once?
Cautious children dress quietly
And they tiptoe to school every day,
Because they are afraid that their conscience will awaken
And he will pester you, bore,
All: And it will force you to study.
Bad advice about food.
For example, a bowl of porridge is offered to you in the morning.
They say that the vitamins in it are teeming to the bottom,
They say that nothing is healthier for the stomach
And for this you must love her with all your heart.
And in the morning you don’t want to look at this porridge,
In the morning, when you meet her, you want to close your eyes.
If you eat it without looking, then perhaps
All: Past the mouth
You will be able to eat many spoons of this porridge.
Not every child enjoys eating soup.
The soup can be unsweetened, and this is no secret.
But you can quietly put jam in the soup,
Pour a little honey and crumble the sweets.
Now add sugar and you are ready to pour.
All: No one will force you to eat such crap.
Bad advice about parents.
Often mother does not fulfill her promises,
But don’t be upset, offended or grumble:
If mom has to fulfill everything she promised,
I'm afraid you won't find a living place on your butt.
If the school teacher called his father
And persistently invited him to school,
To show him a cool magazine there,
Take your father to any kiosk
And say: “Well, why do you need to go to school?
All: So many cool magazines are published now!”
Try to catch your mother’s eye less often -
You never know what will come to her mind tomorrow.
Either he will force you to eat potatoes, or he will start combing your hair,
Maybe he’ll suddenly sneak up behind you and send you for milk,
Or he will jump out of the kitchen and send him to wash his hands...
All: No, it’s better never to meet this mother.
If you were walking around wearing a hat and then it disappeared,
Don’t worry, you can lie to your mom at home.
But try to lie beautifully, so that, looking admiringly,
Holding her breath, mom listened to the lies for a long time.
But if you lied about the lost hat,
That it was taken from you by a spy in an unequal battle,
Try not to let mom go and be indignant.
To foreign intelligence
Everyone: They won’t understand her that way.
All: When the parents run in and start asking,
What were you thinking about when you were spitting out of the window,
He fed the vacuum cleaner salad,
He set fire to newspapers
And he pushed the porcelain service down from the balcony, -
All: Ask your parents:
But they themselves
What did you hope for when one day, suddenly,
Decided to have a boy and got you?
Bad advice about life.
If something happens and no one is to blame,
Don't go there, otherwise you will be guilty.
Hide somewhere on the sidelines, and then go home
All: And don’t tell anyone that you saw this.
If you get salad on your hands at lunch
And you’re embarrassed to wipe your fingers on the tablecloth,
Lower them quietly under the table and it’s quiet there
Wipe your hands
All: About the neighbor's pants.
If you couldn't find your country on the map,
Don't mourn your Fatherland - learn geography.
If you're about to get something out of your head,
First, see if there are any small children nearby.
If different ideas pop into your head,
Lock the doors quickly and call the police.
If they ask in class where the homework is,
Answer that it went wild and went into the dense forest.
If there are too many people chasing you,
Ask them in detail why they are upset?
Try to console everyone, give everyone advice,
But there is absolutely no point in reducing the speed.
All: And most importantly!
When you wake up, the first thing you do is promise not to start
Nothing that you will continue today.
Before going to bed, ask for forgiveness and promise not to do it
Nothing like what you did all day today.
When you wake up, the first thing you do is
All: Promise not to continue...
Before going to bed, ask for forgiveness
All: And promise not to do...
36.
If the school teacher
Called my father
And persistently go to school
He was invited
To show him there
Cool magazine,
You go to any kiosk
Let your father down
And say: “Why do you need
Go to school?
So many cool magazines
Now they’re publishing!”
37.
If you're stuck on a branch
And you're afraid to jump down
Keep hanging in place
Don't take unnecessary risks.
Soon the sun will warm up,
Turn sideways towards him.
By autumn you will be filled with juice -
Maybe someone will pick it up.
38.
If you have your own desk
He threw various rubbish at him,
Put your notebooks on the sofa,
Books are piled on the floor in a rash.
Buried chest-deep in the room -
You can go to the kitchen.
I trashed my apartment -
Come live with your neighbors.
Before the Kremlin, the country fell asleep -
Go abroad.
Littered the entire planet -
Go to the Moon.
39.
If you couldn't on the map
Find your country
Don't mourn your Fatherland -
Teach geography!
40.
If the teacher requires
Tell us why Kutuzov
The military council gathered
Near the village of Borodino,
Cross your arms on your chest
And say they are heroes
For the unfortunate four
Secrets are not given to the enemy.
41.
It's high time
Think about it
What do you want to be like when
You'll grow up a little.
It's not difficult if you want
Become a strong boy
Or maybe a girl with a braid.
And a bow. Choose!
42.
Before you get on the bus,
Bandage your foot every time
And then the old lady has a place
You won't have to give in.
43.
If there's a key around your neck
They put it on a string,
So that you yourself can
Get to your apartment
Into the hands of the swindlers
Don't just give it away
Let them give you first
They will swear by the blood of their hearts
Lift and carry
From the piano apartment,
On which to play you
They force me to do it every day.
Grigory Oster
HARMFUL ADVICE 1, 2, 3, 4
Bad advice 1
A book for naughty children and their parents
Scientists have recently discovered that there are naughty children in the world who do everything the other way around. They are given useful advice: “Wash your face in the morning” - they take it and don’t wash it. They are told: “Say hello to each other” - they immediately begin not to greet each other. Scientists have come up with the idea that such children should be given not useful, but harmful advice. They will do everything the other way around, and it will turn out just right.
This book is for naughty children.
Lost Child
Must remember that it's
They'll take you home as soon as
He will tell you his address.
We need to act smarter
Say: "I live
Near a palm tree with a monkey
On distant islands."
Lost child
If he's not a fool,
Will not miss the right opportunity
IN different countries visit.
Hands never anywhere
Don't touch anything.
Don't get involved in anything
And don't go anywhere.
Move aside silently
Stand modestly in the corner
And stand quietly, without moving,
Until your old age.
Who hasn't jumped out of a window?
Together with my mother's umbrella,
That dashing parachutist
Doesn't count yet.
Don't fly like a bird
Above the excited crowd
Don't put him in the hospital
With a bandaged leg.
If the whole family goes swimming
You went to the river
Don't bother mom and dad
Sunbathe on the shore.
Don't start a scream
Give the adults a break.
Without pestering anyone,
Try to drown.
There is no more pleasant thing to do
What to pick your nose with.
Everyone is terribly interested
What's hidden inside?
And who is disgusted to look,
Let him not even look.
We don’t get in his way,
Let him not bother you either.
If your mom caught you
For what you love,
For example, while drawing
In the hallway on the wallpaper,
Explain to her what it is -
Your surprise for the Eighth of March.
The painting is called:
“Portrait of my dear mother.”
Don't take someone else's if
Strangers are looking at you.
Let them close their eyes
Or they’ll go out for an hour.
Why be afraid of your own people?
They won’t tell about their own people.
Let them look. Grab someone else's
And drag him to yours.
Never stupid questions
Don't ask yourself
Or even more stupid
You will find the answer to them.
If the questions are stupid
Appeared in my head
Ask them straight away to adults.
Let their brains crack.
Visit often
Theater buffet.
There are cakes with cream,
Water with bubbles.
Like firewood on plates
The chocolates are lying
And through a tube you can
Drink a milkshake.
Don't ask for tickets
To the balcony and to the stalls,
Let them give you tickets
To the theater buffet.
Leaving the theater
You will take it with you
Under a trembling heart,
In the stomach, a sandwich.
Born a girl - be patient
Trips and pushes.
And put your pigtails on everyone,
Who wouldn't mind pulling them?
But someday later
Show them the fig
And you will say: “Figurines, for you
I won’t get married!”
If you and your friends are together
Have fun in the yard
And in the morning they put it on you
Your new coat,
You shouldn't crawl in puddles
And roll on the ground
And climb fences
Hanging from nails.
So as not to spoil or stain
Your new coat,
We need to make it old.
This is done like this:
Get right into the puddle
Roll on the ground
And a little on the fence
Hang on nails.
Very soon it will become old
Your new coat,
Now you can calmly
Have fun in the yard.
You can safely crawl in puddles
And roll on the ground
And climb fences
Hanging from nails.
If you're down the hall
Ride your bike
And towards you from the bathroom
Dad went out for a walk
Don't turn into the kitchen
There is a solid refrigerator in the kitchen.
Better brake like dad.
Dad is soft. He will forgive.
If you are united forever,
Illuminated and lead,
Don't try to dodge
From movement to celebration.
Still will raise to work
And it will inspire you to heroism
You are great and mighty,
And our reliable stronghold.
The main business of your life
Any trifle can become a problem.
You just have to firmly believe
There is no more important matter.
And then it won't hurt
You are neither cold nor hot,
Choking with delight,
Do nonsense.
Hit frogs with sticks.
It is very interesting.
Tear off the wings of flies,
Let them run on foot.
Exercise daily
And a happy day will come -
you to some kingdom
They will be accepted as the chief executioner.
Girls should never be
Not to be noticed anywhere.
And don't give them a pass
Nowhere and never.
They need to put their feet up
Scare from around the corner
So that they immediately understand:
You don't care about them.
I met a girl - quickly
Stick your tongue out.
Let her not think
That you're in love with her.
Starting a fight with dad
Starting a fight with mom,
Try to surrender to your mother, -
Dad takes no prisoners.
By the way, find out from your mother,
Has she forgotten?
Beat prisoners on the butt with a belt
Prohibited by the Red Cross.
If you are the whole world of violence
Are you going to destroy
And at the same time you dream of becoming
Everything without being anything
Feel free to follow us
Along the paved road,
We will give you this path
We might even give in.
Don't settle for anything
With no one and never
And those who agree with you
Call them cowardly.
For this everyone will start you
Love and respect.
And you will have it everywhere
Full of friends.
If there are cockroaches in the kitchen
Marching around the table
And the mice are happy
There's a practice fight on the floor,
So it's time for you to go
Stop fighting for peace
And give up all your strength
To fight for purity.
If you are going to a friend
