Nobody teaches us how to be parents. But this is the most important and most difficult!
I learned about this center from a friend of mine.
The Green Door early socialization center opened in Moscow in 1995. And it still exists.
Many of its graduates are already finishing school.
It is very strange that there are no other such centers.
Green door for children from 0 to 3 years old. Here is their website [link], where you can see opening hours, address and photos.
When we went there, we were scared, but very curious.
We have a small but very sociable daughter who is drawn to both adults and children. She lacks communication. She is happy to play with someone, but she is still so small that she does not know how to interact with children. Soon she will go to a short-day group.
How everything works.
Everything turned out to be much better than we imagined.
- Two games rooms
- dining room
- a place for changing babies with a changing table where you can change a diaper
- bathroom
- toilet.
What's in the game?
A large playhouse, slide, strollers, cars, books, a board with markers and much more. Everything is clear, just play.
What surprises you immediately and right out of the gate is that they talk to the child as if they were an adult.
They get to know him. His name, age and who he came with are written down on the board.
And they explain the rules of behavior.
You should see with what attention the children listen to them.
The rules are simple:
- The child comes to the Green Door with his parents (grandparents) and leaves with them.
This does not harm the child. He knows that at any moment he can climb into the arms of mom or dad.
Oh, I remember when they gave mine away younger sister V kindergarten and she asked her mother if she would really take her.
- You can eat only in a specially designated place.
This rule was the hardest for our dad.
You can drive a car without leaving the lanes.
- Parents on the territory of the “Door” influence the child not with their hands, but with their words.
It always seemed to me that during walks my husband became abstracted.
But when I saw his behavior from the outside, I realized that I was wrong.
He never left Alice's side.
Do you know how much you can learn about your child if you just watch him from the outside?
It’s immediately obvious what he’s interested in playing, and most importantly, how much he can do himself.
All this time, “educators” are with you - these are psychologists and teachers.
They help explain and understand the child’s feelings and actions, as well as your attitude towards them.
A child on the territory of the “Door” gains invaluable experience - his own.
He learns to interact with other children without the help of his parents. Learns to exchange toys, talk, give in, negotiate.
Everyone determines the time when to come and go.
We stayed for two hours and left without tears.
Leaving the playground is always a challenge for us. The teachers advised us to be persistent and tell the child, like an adult, that we played great today, but it’s time for us to go home and we will definitely come again.
Alice listened to all this, took my hand and we went to get dressed.
Price
It's no secret how much classes with children in Moscow cost in Moscow.
This center is free.
Near the entrance there is a piggy bank, into which parents put as much as they see fit. This money is used to buy toys and pay teachers.
The walls are decorated with drawings of the little guests.
Our story today is dedicated to the "Green Door" project - the Russian incarnation of the "Green House" by Francoise Dolto, a French woman teacher of the early 20th century. This institution is designed to prepare children for kindergarten, where they will have to remain alone in the new team. And here everything is the same, but only mom is always there! At the same time, she can sit in another room and drink tea or read, but she cannot go anywhere. And when a child, in the heat of play, suddenly notices that his mother is not near him, he must find her somewhere nearby. This is the first immutable rule.
At the Green Door, children gain their first social experience. No registration is required from you - the staff simply write down on the board the name and age of the child, as well as information about who he came with (mom, dad, grandmother). The composition of the participants is constantly changing, some leave, others come. The staff tells each newcomer the basic rules, and then - complete freedom! Employees do not have the right to touch a child unless absolutely necessary, because this is an encroachment on his personality, on his personal freedom (according to Dolto, even if a child climbs somewhere and falls, this is his personal choice).
In the "Door" children are taught to observe certain social norms- eat in a specially designated place, and do not run around with food; do not ride a bicycle on a pedestrian path; wear a special raincoat and galoshes when playing with water. Children learn to resolve conflicts themselves. There are no prohibitions here, except for the rules established in advance.
The premises consist of two rooms of different sizes. The first, large room is for outdoor games. True, there is a small nook for studying at the table, where markers, pencils and educational games are laid out. And the rest of the space is a spacious place where you can frolic, climb, and jump. There is a wooden wall with windows, a plastic house, and all kinds of sports equipment for kids, with which a variety of manipulations are allowed. There is a low podium with a slide and a “pool” - a pit with a cushion at the bottom, where children happily “dive” into. Opposite is a fountain. This water play area is separated from the rest of the room by a low barrier and is lined with ceramic tiles. Raincoats hang on nails, and galoshes stand nearby. For water games, the baby must wear this “uniform”. Buckets, plastic boxes and other useful devices are prepared at the fountain.
The second room is smaller and is designed for younger children. On the floor there are two large mats where very tiny babies can crawl. Along the walls are shelves with toys. There are a variety of toys - from rattles to railways, from plush hares to Lego.
In the corner there is a kitchen-dining room. There is a microwave oven and an electric kettle. There are chairs for both adults and children of different ages.
Comfortable sofas and armchairs for parents are placed along the walls. Here you can read and chat with other parents. There is a toilet: separate for parents, separate for children.
The Green Door is formally a free establishment. At the entrance there is a piggy bank, where parents put as much as they can and as much as they think is necessary. The staff is different every day. But, as you already understood, he only explains the rules to beginners and monitors their compliance.
“Green Door” is designed for children from 0 to 4 years old. Mostly there are children from one to three years old.
Old address:
Podsosensky lane, 26.
(Metro station "Kurskaya").
Open from 12 to 18 o'clock,
except Sunday.
New address:
Moscow, Fergana st., 13, building 1, entrance 1,
code 1#167
open on Wednesdays and Thursdays from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.,
on Sunday from 15 to 19 hours.
Reviews from mothers about the “Green Door”,
collected in Internet conferences on the nanya.ru server
Masha:
We were there today. Liked. Getting there, however, was difficult on your own two feet. I became even more convinced that it’s better to travel in a group. It’s great to communicate there, otherwise everyone already knows each other and it’s more fun together. 2 hours was enough for us the first time. A sea of toys. The children are strangers. Tired. But great! You can’t create this at home and you can’t communicate with the kids.
There is a kitchen, a fountain, a playroom, everything is like ours (in the best sense of the word). Eh, it’s a pity there is no bedroom for relaxation...
We came for the second time. The conclusions are different. Nastyukha already knew this place and walked calmly on her own. I sat and talked with another mother. My daughter was running around somewhere, periodically coming to me.
It was then that I wanted to break one of the first rules - “mom doesn’t go anywhere.” Yes, it's great to have mom nearby. But if you could go away for at least 15 - 30 minutes, for example, to a stall for a bun, it would be so great.
And it seemed to me that the women who looked after the Green Door were not educators, but observers. They don’t sit with the kids, don’t put on their lost shoes while walking, don’t straighten their clothes, and don’t dissuade the baby from putting an open felt-tip pen in his mouth. They are simply present. And the second time I already wanted them to work with us.
Classes would be organized for them, and mothers would have their own. Adults are already interested in participating in something.
There are no sports equipment, no activities, it is more difficult for older children to occupy themselves without a script.
The generosity of toys also began to irritate. Nastyukha stopped focusing on the bunny or the train, and began to carelessly tamper with them, throw them away and throw them.
The indisputable advantage of this institution for us is that the child is among new people. Even if he doesn’t communicate, he rotates in different microbial spheres and gains immunity.
Another big plus about the Door is the lack of certificates. Because they must be collected for the garden, which, as you understand, is tedious.
We will come there again. We will ride until my daughter, in my opinion, grows out of it. I think much earlier than the indicated 4 years.
Going there once is interesting and cool. But then all sorts of thoughts creep in. That the teachers politely greet and escort you near the charity piggy bank, making sure that the toys are not taken with them. Toys, great. As if someone had nowhere to put them, the baby grew up, so they gave them here. Parents won’t save that much anyway, because some toys overwhelm others (why, for example, 3 bears or 4 trains, or more? soft toys than useful developmental ones). That's some criticism, right?
Marina:
The fact is that this is not a kindergarten or a development group. This institution was created to teach both children and parents (maybe even more parents than children) to communicate. Don't the instructors tell children "no" (except for the three "no's" that are warned about in advance)? All conflicts are tried to be resolved by providing alternatives. Let's at least take the opportunity not to prohibit anything (if this is not possible in our own apartment).
The toys are all good, and very diverse - both educational and sports - for all occasions. Everything is provided for feeding the child (and the parent) and for the toilet, very clean and comfortable. It’s even surprising that a virtually “free” establishment has all this!
There is also a lot to learn about communication in The Door. It is very interesting to listen to how instructors resolve conflicts between children. How will you, for example, react if an older child offends yours? Or did they both want the same toy?
Masha:
I am in no way criticizing this wonderful establishment, where everything is at a European level.
There are programs that allow you to learn to communicate absolutely strangers after a couple of games. What's going on here? Everyone is left to their own devices. Is this communication? This is the location with each other. There is no script, he came and left and that’s it.
There are also many entries in the guest book: there is not enough sports complex for older children: a trampoline, swings, trapeze. Games only with toys.
And no one will help you learn to communicate with your child in a few hours, especially silently.
I don’t think that monsters come there who at home only say “no.”
Zhenya:
We had enough sports equipment, because, in principle, even the house becomes an excellent arena for jumping and climbing (another mother and four children and I climbed through windows, doors and climbed out through “walls” for half an hour - 1, 2, 3 people each). The hosts are already closely occupied with “direct” responsibilities. But no one is stopping you from organizing what you consider necessary. And you can communicate in conditions “as close as possible to combat” (i.e., to native real ones) in the nearest sandbox.
Anya:
Today I visited the Green Door with my daughter (7 months old).
It's kind of boring. True, there were a lot of toys, and the child enjoyed playing with them, but there was no one our age, everyone was big... For big kids, of course, it’s interesting there: there’s something to do, and mom is nearby. But children hardly play with each other. Maybe it just happened that everyone gathered together as strangers?
None of the parents communicated with each other either; they all read magazines. It seems that many mothers come there to relax, mind their own business, and read. It’s hard for me to judge, perhaps the mothers of older children are really tired of this chaos at home, and they need a distraction. But personally, I would like more communication.
Tanya:
It seems to me that the “Door” is needed to anesthetize the child’s transition from mother’s arms to Big world, and not for the development of specific skills - to communicate and behave in society. I was there today, and my one-year-old child led an independent life for an hour and a half (!), occasionally checking to see if his mother had abandoned him. Thoughts:
If at that moment his mother had run away to a stall or the like, no toys or cheerful friends would have made him move away from his mother in this (or another) place the next time.
Everyone behaves naturally: not as in class (on the issue of games), but as in life. I sat quietly in the corner with a book, not bothering anyone, and Maxim made each new visitor a separate touching face.
The kids love it there. So does anyone need this?
At the Green Door early socialization center, even infants learn to communicate and respect other people.
The Green Door is easy to find. You can open it like any other door and enter a world where little people live. Here they communicate, play, study and live according to the laws of their small society. These laws are almost the same as in our big world.
Every parent is familiar with the problem of kindergarten, when a child, accustomed to being only with his mother, who will always protect and help, suddenly finds himself among strangers. The baby does not understand why his mother gives him to unknown aunts, why he has to share toys with other children. He starts making scandals in the morning, hitting his colleagues in the garden, and most often, getting sick. They even bring babies to the Green Door - what earlier baby will understand that there are other people in the world besides him, and will get used to independence, the easier it will be for him to adapt to a new environment in the future.
The Green Door early socialization center appeared in Moscow in 1995. It is modeled after the Green (or Open) House of the French pediatrician and psychoanalyst Françoise Dolto in Paris (opened in 1979). Over the course of twenty-five years, such houses appeared in Switzerland, Belgium, Canada and other countries. These are small models of the society in which children learn to live from a very early age.
Anyone can come to the “Green Door”; admission is free. But there are strict rules: only children under 4 years old with their parents are accepted here (this is a very strict law, which everyone is warned about, so you shouldn’t be offended later). New “residents” are met by hosts: psychologists, teachers, pediatricians; they do not serve or entertain (children and parents find activities for themselves), but explain the rules of behavior in the center and, if necessary, listen to the child or adult and help them understand each other . The living space of the “Green Door” is divided into zones: an area for noisy games (rides on cars), for quiet ones (cubes, construction sets, lotto on the shelves), a place for playing with water (a large bathtub with a fountain, into which children climb into wearing aprons and rubber boots). Opposite there is a podium for the little ones. From here the babies watch what is happening in the hall. What is important is that the podium does not allow you to look down on them, so the dignity of the infant is not diminished in the least. In the second room there is a kitchen. Here the mother herself can warm the baby’s food and feed him. There are dishes, small tables, and high chairs for kids.
Each mother or nanny who visits the “Green Door” has her own method of education: some believe that you should never say “no” to a child, others have difficulty letting go of their baby, fearing that he will get hurt or get scared. Here everyone has the right to their point of view - parents, Center employees, and children. And everyone learns to understand and accept the other for who he is.
Goals. Tasks. Meaning
1. Early socialization of children
The child’s stay with his parents in the “Green Door”, prior to the baby’s admission to a nursery or kindergarten, ensures his painless adaptation to kindergarten preschool institution thanks to the gradual separation of the child from the family, a separation that occurs at the pace that is necessary this child. The Green Door also creates favorable conditions to develop the child's communication abilities.
2. Social adaptation of parents
The “Green Door” allows parents to feel their parental role, because they are present at the Center in precisely this role. They get to use the time
stay at the Center to communicate with own child and with other children, to observe relationships between other children and parents and to think about relationships with their children and in their family as a whole. "Green Door" helps to overcome the traumatic isolation of young mothers, promotes the development of contacts between families from different social classes and national cultures, the integration of disabled children and healthy children.
3. Prevention of psychosomatic diseases
The work of the “Green Door” is aimed at preventing childhood neuroses associated with the processes of separation and disadaptation to a preschool institution, as well as other psychosomatic diseases that arise against the background of unresolved family problems.
The psychological environment created in the “Green Door” also makes it possible to stimulate the development of children with delayed speech, mental, motor development, organic damage to the central nervous system and other violations. Here they help children and their parents to believe in the healthy strength of the child, his potential
possibilities.
In the “Green Door” everything is subordinated to the development of the child’s personality: the organization of the internal space, the rules, the observance of which is strict for everyone - children, parents, and staff, an atmosphere of communication that ensures emotional
security and independence of the individual, regardless of age and individual characteristics.
"Green Door" is not a consultation where parents receive from specialists a direct, definite answer to difficult parenting issues, where they are advised how to resolve a difficult family situation or correct difficult relationships with
child. Specialists only help parents better understand their children and their problems. "Green Door" allows parents to find their own answer to these questions, to find a way out of the family impasse.
Such permission is conditioned by the employees’ respect for both the personality of the child and the personality of the mother and their use of such a means of preventing mental trauma as the word - a free safe word that frees you from internal conflict fraught with mental trauma.
The Green Door allows a family to have greater confidence in themselves and the world, to value themselves, their family and the human community in which they will live.
Staff
Children and parents at the Green Door are received by an interdisciplinary team of specialists, which includes: psychologists (age and medical), teachers (preschool, speech pathologists, social teachers), doctors (pediatricians and psychotherapists), physiologists (age), social workers. These are precisely the specialists whose purpose is to preserve the mental and physical health of children and their social adaptation. But not just specialists, but those who were trained as “Green Door” trainees and mastered the features of the “receiver” work. Special value for employees
"Green Door" is familiar with the basics of child psychoanalysis. All employees, without exception, participate in a weekly seminar to study the concept of the Green House by F. Dolto and the fundamentals of psychoanalysis.
Every day, three people work at the Green Door, representatives of various professions in the field of childhood, people of different ages and, if possible, different genders. This so-called team works only once a week, giving way to their colleagues - the next three - at the Green Door. This organization of work ensures that children and parents communicate with different specialists and choose those who best suit their personalities.
Training of personnel to work at the Green Door consists of two parts: theoretical and practical. The theoretical part includes participation in the ongoing seminar “Early Socialization: Theory and Practice.” The practical part includes participation in communication trainings, personal growth, which allow you to acquire skills in dialogue, empathic active listening, teamwork, etc., as well as working, along with the main staff, with children and parents visiting the Green Door. The duration of the internship is 6 months.
Organization of space, rules “Green Door” is a specially organized spatial and psychological environment.
The “Green Door” space is an open (for the child to view) room with several functional areas: a locker room, a quiet games area, an area of noisy games and riding on wheeled toys. This is where the so-called wall is located.
separations with holes, a slide and ladders, a podium for “sliders” - children who are not yet able to walk, a “dining room” - a place where children can eat what their parents took with them, a place to play with water, a “street” or a path that connects all these areas.
This organization of space structures the child’s life. So, for example, a wall separating a slide and stairs from the common space is involuntarily associated with prohibition, separation, border, the need to find an entrance or exit and symbolizes for a child
the difficulties and obstacles that he will have to face in
entering the world. It also means his future separation from his parents. This is the most serious of boundaries, which should put an end to his initially inextricable connection with his parents and give him the opportunity to go out into the world as an independent person.
Allocating a special podium for the little ones does not allow looking down on them. The baby lying on the podium is with his older comrade at eye level.
Play equipment is selected taking into account the holistic development process of the child: toys that ensure the development of the motor sphere, sensory development, intellectual development, the ability to interact, etc., toys that allow you to free yourself from aggression, relieve tension (when playing with water), and learn about the world around you and its laws. The center has children's books selected with the participation of methodologists of the Republican Children's Library, books and magazines for children and their parents on pedagogical, psychological and medical topics, etc.
The “Green Door” is also a place where a child learns the rules of life, and they are strictly observed here. They exist for everyone and serve everyone. They provide children with basic safety. The rule is not humiliating. If it is for everyone, it is, on the contrary, a guarantor of equality. Clear rules that allow you to accept restrictions without stress serve to prevent neuroses.
Thus, a child does not have the right to cross the boundaries of the area for outdoor games on wheeled toys. By observing it, he will not inadvertently cause harm to others. In the "Green Door" of a child
are warned that for playing with water, for which a certain place is also allocated, he must wear waterproof aprons. As you know, water symbolizes motherhood, and the apron in this case- a barrier separating the mother’s body from the child’s body, which helps the baby realize his separateness, his own individuality.
The construction of space correlates with the child's acquisition of conversational skills. “Green Door” is a local word. But in order for a child to become the subject of his own word, adults need to learn to listen and understand his language, and not only the language of his words, but also the language of his body.
Parents and children about the Green Door
Over the ten-plus years that the Green Door has been operating, thousands of children and parents have visited it, and not only residents of nearby areas. Kids often come here not only with their mothers, but also with the whole family, with dad, with grandparents. That more and more children
and parents open the “Green Door” - absolute evidence that people need this form of family support and prevention of mental, physical and social disorders. What is especially important is that children need it. One of them, when his mother suggested that he get ready to go home, said: “I don’t want to leave. This is the place for me."
From the book of entries:
“Finally, our children have received the natural attention of adults.”
“It’s just wonderful here, you can do whatever you want. Thank you for such smart toys, for your care and comfort.”
“My daughter was completely unsociable, she was afraid of other children. But here it’s the other way around.”
“We are here again. All my son talks about is the Green Door. For me, these trips are a holiday for the soul.”
"We are very glad that such a place exists. Children need it. It would be great if such a center was in every district"
“The one and a half hour drive to this “childhood center” is worth it.”
“A huge request to everyone on whom its implementation depends: each district (district) has such a room.
