A nineteen-year-old Rajasthan man has been sentenced to death for raping a seven-month-old girl. IN Lately In India, the number of sexual crimes has increased, the country is ranked as the most dangerous for women. Russian women who lived in India told Snob about the place of women in Indian society, harassment and attempted rape
India, May 6, 2018. The man pictured is accused of raping and setting a 17-year-old girl on fire. Photo: AFP
According to the Thomson Reuters Foundation, India has become the most dangerous country in the world for women, with about 40 crimes committed against them every hour. The problem has become so acute that in April this year the Indian government introduced the death penalty for rape of girls under 12 years of age and increased the minimum prison sentence to 20 years for those whose victims were under 16. And since 2013, you can go to prison in the country for sexual harassment and voyeurism.
Fatal sex crimes became punishable by death following the publicity of the 2012 gang rape of a student on a bus in Delhi. The girl was assaulted by six men and thrown out of the bus onto the side of the road. Doctors fought for her life, but they failed to save the girl. After this, mass protests took place across the country, and the government was forced to tighten penalties for crimes of a sexual nature.
Another big story happened in 2017. A 10-year-old girl who became pregnant as a result of rape has given birth in northern India. The girl’s pregnancy became known at more than 20 weeks, when it was already too late to have an abortion. At the same time, the girl herself did not know about the child; she was told that she had a large stone in her stomach that needed to be removed. After a caesarean section, the girl’s family abandoned the child, and her uncle was detained on suspicion of rape.
However, not only local women are raped in India, but also tourists. In early May of this year, in the Indian state of Kerala, police discovered the headless corpse of a woman, who was identified as a 33-year-old Latvian tourist who had disappeared a month earlier. A woman came to India for treatment for depression and disappeared. The police found out that two local residents drugged her, raped her, and then beheaded her. The suspects were detained.
In India, women suffer from more than just sexual crimes. In Jaipur, a young man threw acid on a woman after refusing to marry him. Moreover, the victim was already officially married and had three children.
A 35-year-old woman from Lucknow became the victim of an acid attack for the fifth time a year ago. She was first raped and attacked with acid in 2008 over a property dispute. The same men threw acid in her face in 2012 and 2013 to force her to withdraw the charges. The next time, they forced me to drink acid in front of my daughter. The men were detained, but were soon released on bail. After this, the woman was attacked on the territory of a special guarded shelter.
Russian women who lived and worked in India for some time told Snob how they escaped annoying attention, harassment, and what they did to avoid becoming victims of rape.
“Country men see white women as porn stars.”
Ekaterina, 33 years old
Ekaterina has been living in India for several years. She first came to the country in 2010, two years later she took a yoga teacher training course in Dharamsala and got a job there as an English translator for Russian tourists. For three years, she lived in India for six months at a time, and then returned to Russia for 1-2 months. In 2015, Ekaterina moved to Delhi, found a job there in her specialty, and last year she married an Indian.
Now I work as a teacher, my students are both Indian children and children of expats. In advanced and wealthy families, parents invest a lot of money in the comprehensive education of their children. In poor families, parents sometimes do not send their daughters to school, since they will still be housewives. The government is trying to fight this and organizes all sorts of courses (such as cutting and sewing) for women and creates jobs. Therefore, you can buy handmade embroidered fabrics very cheaply in India.
Before marriage, from 2015 to 2017, I rented housing in Delhi in a variety of areas, including disadvantaged ones. I walked and drove everywhere alone. Sometimes she returned from work late, after midnight, but did not end up in the story. In large cities and tourist areas, it is quite safe for a woman if you do not get drunk to the point of unconsciousness in nightclubs, do not accept drinks and sweets from strangers (there were cases when drugs were added to sweets), do not wear too revealing clothes, do not visit people or invite people to your room, do not get into cars with strangers or unfamiliar men. It is better to meet someone in public places. You should not travel alone to non-tourist places or villages; it is better to travel as part of a group or with a man. You need to behave confidently and, in case of danger, shout loudly and threaten the police.
There are a lot of foreigners in Delhi. Most locals treat them with respect because they think that all foreigners are very rich. Only the villagers perceive white women as porn stars (in Western films they show all sorts of things on TV) and stare at them.
Traditional Indian society does not accept revealing clothing: women in mini, tight and low-cut clothing are considered prostitutes. In large cities they are more relaxed about this; you can even see Indian women wearing such clothes.
India is very different from north to south and from west to east. In some northeastern states and in some places in the south, matriarchy reigns. The woman is the head of the family and inherits land and property. In other parts of the country there is strict patriarchy: a woman becomes a housewife after marriage, even if she is rich and well-educated. In some Hindu Orthodox families, women do not go out alone without their husband or his relatives and sit at home. In such families, inter-caste and inter-religious marriages are not welcomed, and often such love stories end in “honor killing”. Marriages are usually concluded by agreement, in accordance with caste, the position of the family in society, material wealth, education, etc. Sometimes the bride’s family demands a dauri (dowry) - many crimes against women occur for this reason. It happens that after the wedding, the husband’s family asks for more and more money, puts moral and physical pressure on the woman, sometimes this ends in suicide. According to the law, it is prohibited to demand dauri, but many follow the traditions. All of the above applies to Hindu Orthodox Christians from northern and central India. Fortunately, in large cities everything is not like that: now there are a lot of modern families where women work and do not have any restrictions from their husbands. Many Indians study abroad, many have relatives in Europe and America.
Most of the crimes against women involve Indian women, not foreigners.
The government is trying to combat crimes against women: there are many crisis centers and helplines in the country. You can even complain to the police about indecent proposals and comments from men. I know a case where a woman hailed a taxi, and a perverted taxi driver was driving and masturbating. She filmed it on her phone camera, pressed the panic button on the app, and the police arrived. He was arrested and later sentenced to real prison time.
India, Mumbai. October 10, 2014. Chinese woman Reshma's brother-in-law and his friends were tied up and doused with acid. The court awarded her compensation of 100,000 rupees ($1,600), which was to be paid within 15 days. Five months later she still hasn't received a penny
Photo: Indranil Mukkherjee/AFP
“The vast majority of Indian men are horny maniacs.”
Maria, 31 years old
Maria lived in India twice for 9-10 months, with her boyfriend and alone. And these two times turned out to be very contrasting. After the second trip, the girl became disillusioned with Indian men “for the rest of her life.”
In 2010, my boyfriend opened a yoga center in the southern state of Karnataka, and I met tourists and dealt with organizational issues.
Two years later, I returned to India alone, with nostalgic feelings, dreaming of seeing the state of Rajasthan, returning to old places, and that’s when my rose-colored glasses broke. I settled in Jaipur and got a job as a teacher of Russian and in English to school. I only had a 10-minute walk to work, but that was enough: many men simply stopped and openly stared, every day someone came up and asked for my phone number, invited me somewhere. We usually started with What is your name?, and the third or fourth question was Do you have a boyfriend? Can I be your boyfriend? After some time, I simply stopped answering their questions, because communication with a simple Indian man always ends in something like this. There are exceptions - rich, well-educated men who studied abroad and saw the world.
Sometimes men would just ask to take a photo with me and then try to grope me. More than once I was grabbed in different places by men passing by on a moped. The vast majority of Indian men are horny maniacs. In Jaipur, I completely forgot that you can wear clothes that expose your legs and shoulders. I dressed very closed, and then there was a little less attention.
Sometimes I went out of town to the sea. One day I went a little far from the main beach. A teenager came up to me and started asking me something, and then tried to grab me by the chest. I got scared, hit him on the hand and started running. Later I thought that I could cope with the frail guy, but then I really got scared.
I had expat friends in Jaipur. We sometimes went with them to hang out in nightclubs. One day I went home alone, in a tuk-tuk. It was about three in the morning. When we reached the house, the rickshaw puller demanded that I pay more than the agreed amount. I thought he was talking about money, but then the rickshaw driver jumped out of the tuk-tuk and grabbed me by the chest. I screamed like crazy. The rickshaw driver got scared and ran away.
I've also been to Goa. They got used to white people there, but an unpleasant thing happened to me there too. We - three guys and three girls - went there to celebrate the New Year. But we were never able to dance in any club: the locals surrounded us in a tight ring and tried to grope the girls, even if the guys tried to block us.
And these stories are not scary compared to some others. While I was living in India, a story about a tourist from Denmark thundered throughout the world. She arrived in Delhi alone, got lost and followed some men who promised to show the way. They raped her with the whole crowd.
Until the very end, I believed in people and tried not to stigmatize men. Until I had an unpleasant incident with a teacher from our school. He was a respected man, with a good reputation, married, with children. He was the last person I would suspect of indecent behavior. One evening I was returning home and ran into him not far from my house. He said that he was waiting for his friend, who was half an hour late, and asked if it was possible to wait for him at my place. I naively agreed. After half an hour, I realized that my friend was unlikely to come. My colleague wasn’t going to call him, but he started acting strange, and then suddenly asked: Can I kiss you? I replied that it was probably time for him to go home, and threatened to tell his wife and the school principal about everything.
By the end of my stay in India, I wanted to punch every man who approached me. I left Jaipur with the feeling that I had enough of India for the rest of my life and that I was completely disappointed in Indians. They don’t stare at local women like that and won’t approach you with an offer to have sex, at least there is some kind of ostentatious respect. But foreign women, from their point of view, sleep with everyone.
“It is impossible to avoid attention and prejudice towards oneself”
Anastasia, 27 years old
Anastasia married an Indian and periodically visits him in his homeland in Bangalore. She finds it difficult to get used to the traditional position of women in Indian society.
In principle, it is not dangerous for Indian women to walk the streets if they dress and behave according to the traditions of society. Local girls who choose their own partner, place of work, study, meet people from a different caste, go to parties, go against the system. Their behavior is not acceptable and they can get into trouble.
Foreigners need to be extra careful. Due to the color of their skin and the stereotypes inherent in Indian society, white women are considered easy, frivolous and vulgar. Therefore, it is better for white girls not to go out in the dark, they need to behave and look modest. Ideally, you should go out with someone who is Indian - this will make your life much easier. Since I went everywhere with my husband and mother-in-law, they protected me from many dangers. However, it is impossible to avoid attention and prejudice towards oneself. Thanks to constant protection in the person of my husband’s relatives, I did not encounter open manifestations of harassment. But I constantly caught the greasy looks of men: many stare and undress with their eyes, regardless of age and marital status.
In India you need to challenge yourself in many ways, be flexible, adapt. Indian society is absolutely patriarchal, so the woman here is engaged in housework, serving her husband's parents and raising children. People often ask me not “How are your studies or work?”, but “How is work in the kitchen?” What are you cooking for your husband? It was very difficult to get used to this.
Life is like an Amazing Journey.
“A sad story about a Man-God” is rather my interpretation of the social status of women in India; Indian women themselves seem to like everything. This is one of the global subcultural differences between the perception of the world and relationships with men. Therefore, what is written below is very, very subjective).
And it all started with a conflict on my first visit to India - with a banal conflict between me and the Indian drivers of our photo tour. The conflict was very unexpressed, permanent - I just felt that I was annoying the drivers, and in general I felt in my gut that I was annoying simply because I was a woman, but I couldn’t believe it with my mind. At that time, I constantly wanted to somehow smooth out this completely unmanifested outwardly conflict - however, soon enough I realized that it was impossible to smooth it out: the only woman in that photo tour - I not only did not obediently follow the men, but, on the contrary, led a small caravan of our cars, chose hotels, changed the route, etc., etc. - i.e. behaved in a manner completely unacceptable for a woman. What made the situation even more difficult was the fact that I was traveling without a life partner and was not subordinate to any of the men present on that photo tour. This is what our drivers felt most painfully.
The irritation of the drivers reached its peak in the village of Nako: one of them, Rajneesh, categorically refused to help with delivering my heavy suitcase to the room. When I tried to clarify with our guide what it was that the drivers didn’t like so much, he replied: “You are a woman, a second-class creature. But don’t be upset, you’re not here to please anyone).” In general, then for the first time I thought about the topic of what it was like to be a woman in India. The topic is very deep and controversial, and I think that I will be thinking about this for a very long time.
And then a Tibetan standing next to me helped me carry my suitcase into the room. He reacted himself, faster than the male participants in the tour). Tibetans have a very different attitude towards women.
Indian... Indian woman. The first associations that arise are a proud, capricious beauty and an Indian film. She will sing and dance and look at the unlucky suitor with such a furious gaze from her searing black eyes that it would be better for him to burn on the spot... Well, a beautiful, magnificent wedding will sum up all our knowledge about Indian women...
Ah, Bollywood, ruler of dreams... If only a tenth of Indian women lived according to a similar scenario.
In real life everything is much worse. An Indian woman is doomed from birth to the fact that her relatives were not happy when they learned that a girl was born, to the fact that she will wait for marriage as at least some kind of opportunity for a decent existence. Yes, most women, when married, acquire meaning in the eyes of society. From now on, her life is a constant concern for her husband and family, her main dream is the birth of sons, her worst nightmare is if her husband dies. In Indian society it is believed that a woman is a person who has been unrighteous in past life, this is bad karma. And the death of a husband is the curse of a woman and her fault. The widow is rejected by society, she can no longer stay in her home, cannot raise children and must return to her parents, where nothing good awaits her either. To this day, in India there is a custom of “sati” - the self-immolation of a widow on the funeral pyre of her husband. Therefore, married women do everything to prolong their husband’s life so that he remains in good health for as long as possible.
A little about sati.
A woman in ancient India did not have the right to marry after the death of her husband, she did not even have the right to live after him, she had to die on the same day that her husband died. She should be burned at the same time as her husband's corpse. In the sacred books of Brahmanism it is written: “The wife should throw herself into the wood prepared for burning the corpse of her husband. The corpse is placed on the firewood, after which the wife approaches, covering her face with a veil. Brahma removes her veil and she takes off her ornaments and jewels and distributes them to her relatives, then she undoes her braids. After this, the first priest takes her by the right hand and leads her around the firewood three times, then she climbs onto the firewood, raises the leg of the late husband to her forehead as a sign of submission to him, rearranges herself and sits at his head, placing her right hand on his body. After this, a fire is lit and she is burned along with her husband’s body. This is explained by the fact that for this the woman will supposedly be rewarded with a prosperous life with her husband in heaven for thirty-five million years... that by her burning she cleanses the relatives of her mother, father and husband, and also cleanses the husband himself from sins... In this case, she considered one of the most pure women with a pure name and good reputation. This custom became so widespread in Indian society that in ten years they burned about six thousand women. Actions under this Sharia continued until the end of the 17th century, when this custom was abolished against the will of the Indian clergy." (V. Durant. History of civilization, part 3, vol. 1, pp. 178, 180, 181. Translation by Muhammad Badran).
The word “Sati” actually means “kind, good woman”, that is, a devoted wife who chose for herself the path of victory over death in order to become a goddess, or sati-maga. And although this ritual was not very widespread in India, it was nevertheless regularly performed in the 18th century. in some northern parts of the country and was considered a dignified exit for a high-caste woman whose husband had predeceased her. Many orthodox Hindus supported sati, but there were also those who rejected this ritual. Rammohan Rai strongly advocated its abolition. The cautious British, usually reluctant to interfere in the religious affairs of Hindus, finally banned it by law in 1829. However, it is not so easy to fight popular beliefs and customs with legislation. Similar things happen in our time. Thus, in 1987, in the village of Deorala (Rajasthan), a young woman, Rul Kanwar, died on the funeral pyre of her husband. This event became the topic of wide discussion. Members of Rul's family, the local population and numerous Hindu leaders defended the saga ritual, considering Rul's action to be her own choice.
By the way, it is not a fact that Rule herself did not choose this burning - because otherwise her life would have turned into a protracted, continuous hell...
Here is the time to talk about love in our cultures, so far only outlines of thoughts, what affected me most: if in our culture I have the full opportunity to listen to myself, my feelings - whether I love or not and from here make my choice, then, if I had been born an Indian woman, I would have had only one choice - to love my husband without memory, like God. A very fundamental difference in worldview), and, accordingly, in building relationships in the family.
In the book "Phidia", which is one of the sacred books of the Brahminical religion, it is said about a woman that the Brahminical Sharia does not consider a man and a woman equal in human dignity and considers them unequal. According to the teachings of this religion, a woman is deprived of all civil rights and must be under the dominance of a man throughout her life. According to the laws of Mano, a woman does not have the right to decide any matter herself or act freely, even if it relates to her household affairs. In childhood she submits to her father, in her youth to her husband, after the death of her husband - to her uncle; if there is no uncle, then the ruler will be her guardian. And so at all stages of her life, a woman is deprived of the right to freedom, independence, and to dispose of anything at her own discretion. (Ali Abdul-Wahid Wafi. Holy books of previous religions).
But even the relatively prosperous position of a married woman is surrounded by a number of prohibitions - a woman should not work, she cannot walk down the street next to her husband, always slightly behind. An Indian woman calls her husband "You" and never looks him in the face. Washing her husband's feet is a woman's obligatory duty every night. A husband, dissatisfied with his wife, or his relatives can beat a woman; there are often cases when women are doused with kerosene and set on fire...
The status and position of a woman in India also depends on what stratum of society she (the woman) belongs to. In rural areas, for example, a woman forced to work for hire has more control over herself than a woman from a family supported by her husband. Employment outside the home inevitably generates additional freedom and provides new external contacts; women’s earnings replenish the family budget, and all this allows them to more confidently defend their rights. Most of the workers come from low castes, which allow divorce and second marriage. In the upper castes, a woman should not work for pay and appear in public once again.
According to Brahmins, a woman should be an obedient wife, a dutiful daughter-in-law and a caring mother. A woman from a high caste has no right to demand a divorce, but, having been widowed, to remarry. Among educated Hindus, the average age of brides has risen markedly and the ban on widow marriage has eased. This leads to a gradual erosion of the fetters that limit the freedom of women from prestigious castes.
With education, more and more girls prefer to look for work outside the home, and it is they who many young men from the middle urban strata seek to marry. In such cases, the bride is often not given a dowry.
Women in southern India occupy approximately the same position in society as in all of Southeast Asia, while the northern regions of India are more similar in this regard to Western Asia. For example, in the north of the country it is customary to cover the face, while in the south this custom is observed only in Muslim communities.
With the adoption of the Inheritance Act in 1956, Indian women were given the right to inherit property, which is shared equally by the widow, daughter and mother of the deceased. Monogamy has been compulsory for all Hindus since 1955, when the Marriage Act was passed. According to Muslim canons, daughters and widows also have the right to inherit the property of their deceased father and husband. Even in the case of divorce, remarriage and infertility, women do not lose this succession. For a daughter, however, the share allocated is half that for a son.
A man, following the rules of Islam, can have four wives, subject to equal care for them. The husband is not required to give reasons when applying for a divorce, while the wife can obtain it only with the consent of the husband. Marriages are traditionally arranged by the older generation. In high castes, parents of marriageable daughters have to worry about finding grooms in a narrow circle.
With official recognition of the importance of education, preference among possible applicants is given to those who are well educated and receive a solid salary at the institution. Since there are often few such young people in a given caste, they are presented with gifts in cash and in kind from the interested parents of the future bride. There are rates that reflect the groom's business qualifications.
Thus, a young man with a medical diploma or working in the Indian Administrative Service has the right to count on a dowry in a number of castes in the form of several thousand dollars in cash, a car and other valuables.
Since in order to marry off a daughter, one must pay the groom a certain amount of money, the birth of a daughter means losses for the family in the future, since she will take away significant funds from the family in the form of a dowry. In this regard, in India at one time selective abortions were common, when, when determining the sex of a child by ultrasound, a woman gets rid of the fetus if it is a girl.
Now in India it is officially prohibited to determine the sex of an unborn child using ultrasound. Of course, in modern India there is a certain proportion of women who have received an education and live according to more civilized rules. But their number is not so large as to indicate a significant improvement in the rights of Indian women. Attempts to legally ban selective abortions have not yielded much results, which has led to a change in the composition of the population towards more men. However, this problem, created by the Indians themselves, has not yet prompted Indian society to make fundamental changes.
A husband can kick out a woman who has given birth to a girl.
The family may abandon the girl who is born. The vast majority of people in shelters are girls.
In families where several daughters are born in a row, cases of suicide by the head of the family are known.
After the wedding, the young wife leaves her parents' shelter and moves into her husband's house. Here she will have to perform a variety of housework under the critical supervision of her mother-in-law. Only when she becomes a mother, preferably a son, will her marital status increase. As the children grow up and marry, she herself becomes the mother-in-law and head of the household, taking the place of her predecessor. In all strata of Indian society, the mother is a symbol of love and protection, serving as an object of respectful and kind feelings. And here is the only bright side of the life of an Indian woman - the status of the Woman-Mother, the Guardian of the home, the fundamental force in family relationships.
Huge, patriarchal, religious India will not soon change the neglect and cruelty of its attitude towards a woman as a powerless and sinful creature, leaving the image of a captivating and proud beauty only in Bollywood films, creating a myth and forcing the whole world to believe in it...
India is an amazing country where, along with modernity, you can still find the fulfillment of the traditions and customs of your ancestors. It is impossible to fully understand Indian culture without understanding what an Indian woman is like. There is always some kind of mystery hidden in it, which Europeans are probably unable to solve. The life of Indian women is specific, and there are many features that we cannot understand. However, it is worth at least a little immersion in this culture.
Appearance and clothing of an Indian woman
Anyone who has ever seen an Indian woman in a sari has probably looked after her in admiration, without taking his eyes off. Indeed, this traditional outfit of an Indian woman is simply mesmerizing with its beauty. The sari is considered one of the oldest types of women's clothing. Sarees were worn in ancient India. This piece of clothing is said to be as old as the country itself. Since then, the sari has undergone virtually no changes. It is still a piece of fabric approximately five meters long. Girls are taught to wear a sari from about the age of twelve. After all, in fact, attaching such a large piece of fabric to yourself beautifully is a whole art.
A woman in India should always look beautiful and be well-groomed. That is why the fair sex of this country always wears a lot of jewelry. For these purposes, various natural and artificial materials are used. Gold jewelry is of particular importance. The more gold a girl wears, the richer she is.
Even if a girl was born into a very poor family, parents save money and try to buy gold earrings for their daughter as soon as possible. Moreover, according to tradition, No matter how old a girl is, she simply has no right to appear in public with her neck bare. Therefore, as early as possible, the father should give her gold chain. Indian women's hair is decorated with fresh flowers.
Raising an Indian Woman
From childhood, an Indian girl is prepared to become a woman and a wife. Therefore, from a young age, Indian women know what cosmetics are and how to use them. They use it to paint their eyes and lips and buy jewelry.
If a girl is born into a family, parents immediately begin to save money for her dowry. Often in India, the bride and groom do not know each other before the wedding. Of course, this seems blasphemous to us, but Indian girls were originally brought up this way. From childhood they believe that the future spouse is intended for them by God, and the parents fulfill His will.
Children are always taught the ability to restrain their emotions. This is especially true for girls. After all, she is growing up as the future wife of her husband, which means she must be an example of meekness and humility.
Indian girls prepare in advance to be submissive to their husbands. For them this is the norm of behavior.
Features of the family life of Indian women
The main thing for any woman in India is family. A woman is a keeper of the hearth and a servant to her husband. If there are no maids in the house, then the wife is forced to get up at four o'clock in the morning and cook food for the whole day. Then it will be difficult to do this, as the heat begins.
In general, marriage determines the future fate of a girl. By getting married, she seems to increase her social status. This is due to the fact that, according to tradition, an Indian woman becomes a real full-fledged person only after marriage. Marriage in India is once and for all.
The worst thing for an Indian woman is to remain a widow. If something happens to a husband, it means that his wife did not save him. Therefore, if a woman remains a widow, everyone turns away from her, she must observe strict fasting and sleep on the bare floor. Meeting a widow is a bad sign. However, even in this case, a woman should not be left unattended by a man. She either returns to her father's house or is looked after by her brother.
Previously, there was a tradition when a wife, in the event of the death of her husband, had to commit suicide, or rather, self-immolation. However, now this ritual is officially prohibited, but if a woman shows such a desire and fills out the necessary papers, she is free to do so.
Now in large cities of this country the attitude towards women is almost the same as in European countries. However, in some places the old traditions are still preserved.
It probably seems to a European woman that an Indian woman simply cannot be happy with such a life. However, it is worth considering that India is a completely different world. Women have been accustomed to living this way for centuries. They find their happiness in honoring their husband and loving their children. Perhaps we can learn a thing or two from these women.
Especially forLadySpecial.ru- Marie Matveyuk
Text: Victoria Krundysheva
ABOUT THE LIFE OF INDIAN WOMEN we learn either from Bollywood classics like Zita and Gita or from news reports: while vivacious beauties in colorful saris sing on screen, in the real world women are exposed to sulfuric acid and during sterilization operations. Recently social media flew around, in which the position of women is compared to cows - not in favor of the former.
In Indian culture, a woman is still assigned only two roles: depending on her age, she is perceived either as an extension of the man (daughter or wife), or as the mother of the family - the keeper of the home. In both the first and second cases, the woman has no real voice, that is, her life completely depends on the will of the man. In the last few years, the country has started talking openly about domestic and sexual violence, about and even about. We asked Victoria Krundysheva, who moved to India five years ago, to talk about the origins of cruel practices and what is happening to Indian women today.
Self-immolation and the legend of Sati
Hindu mythology is metaphorical and open to interpretation - it has many strong and independent female images, but the patriarchal structure allows only one interpretation of mythological plots. The ideal wife and role model for Indian girls was Sati (Savitri), the heroine of the ancient epic “Mahabharata”. Savitri’s main quality is her endless love for her husband: according to legend, the princess followed her beloved into the afterlife after his death and, thanks to her cunning and ingenuity, defeated the local ruler, rescuing both her husband and herself. Over time, Savitri's story transformed: in later retellings of the myth, it is no longer the wisdom of the princess that comes to the fore, but the fact that her loyalty and worship of her husband forced her to follow him into the afterlife. The name “sati” was given to a cruel tradition that obliges a widow, after the death of her husband, to ascend the funeral pyre and burn alive along with her husband’s body - in order to meet the afterlife with him.
Refusal to voluntarily say goodbye to life was considered dishonorable. Women who did not want to burn with their deceased husband were not respected and shunned, and even more often punished - that is, they were burned anyway. The ritual of sati, which was widespread throughout the subcontinent, is a vivid illustration of the position of women in Indian society: the first evidence of this practice dates back to the 1st century BC, and it gained its greatest popularity in the 1800s. Although over time, sati rituals were performed less and less often - they were preserved only in remote villages and the poorest areas of India - the tradition was finally eradicated only after the Prevention of Sati Act in 1987, which was adopted after a high-profile case of self-immolation 18 -year-old widow.
Dauri and femicide
Femicide (female infanticide, or the killing of newborn girls) in India has been practiced for centuries and continues to exist today. True, the killing of babies is coming to naught, since the opportunity has arisen to do so. There are many reasons for the emergence of femicide: general poverty, the need for hard physical labor, which is mainly done by men, and the obligation of the bride’s parents to pay a rich dowry to the son-in-law’s family. And although, like sati, femicide was prohibited during British rule, for a long time it remained one of the main social problems in India.
In 1991, the government’s “Child Protection Program” was adopted, and a year later the “Lullaby Program” was adopted, which allows children to be anonymously placed for adoption. Some states provide benefits to families with two or more daughters. Despite government measures, femicide has significantly affected the demographics of the country: today in India there are 100 girls born for every 110 boys born. To stop selective abortions, the state banned procedures to determine the sex of a child - however, in underground clinics this can still be done for 3-8 thousand rupees (about the same amount in rubles). In 2016 alone, twelve doctors were suspended from work on suspicion of violating the ban. In the fight against femicide, government and non-profit organizations have used social media and marketing campaigns, their most famous slogan being “Save a Girl Child.”
The ancient custom of dauri - the name given to the tradition that obliges the bride's family to pay the groom's family - is another illustration of how a woman in the Indian image is considered a burden. You can pay with money or “gifts”: real estate, cars, jewelry and expensive household appliances. Dauri was officially banned in 1961, but dowry payments are difficult to track, so the practice continues to this day.
The Dauri system promotes the idea that men are more valuable than women and have inherent privileges. It permeates the entire matrimonial system of India - this is especially noticeable when searching for a bride, when absurd demands are made on a woman: the education, talents, skin color and appearance of a potential spouse are assessed. The best bride is considered to be the one who promises not to work after the wedding, but to take care of the house and children exclusively.
Bollywood and stereotypes
Bollywood reigns supreme in the minds and hearts of Indians of all ages - so the gender stereotypes it conveys deserve special attention. Until recently, female characters in Bollywood were represented either by heroines, always secondary to the main character, or by participants in the so-called item numbers (musical inserts). The heroine of item number is a seductive beauty who appears in the film for one song and does not add anything new to the plot, but simply pleases the male eye. The Bollywood dichotomy of "woman-angel" - "woman-whore" has greatly influenced the worldview of Indians: society labels a woman as "bad" or "good" in accordance with the film standard.
The extent to which women are objectified in Indian cinema is difficult to comprehend without understanding the lyrics: the compositions accompanying item numbers often have explicit sexual overtones and openly encourage violence. “It doesn’t matter whether you say yes or no. You are mine, Kiran,” this line from famous song everyone in India knows it by heart. It sounds from the lips of the cult actor Shahrukh Khan. Rapper Honey Singh, whose tracks are often featured in Bollywood blockbusters, is constantly accused of misogyny. The singer does not hide his attitude towards women: he recorded an entire album about sexual violence, which is called “Rapist”.
Men hum these songs on the street when some girl seems attractive to them. Largely thanks to Bollywood, street harassment is considered the norm. In popular comedies, for example, “Grand Masti”, the main characters pester the heroine on the street and follow her until she gets tired of the attention and “gives up.” From such scenes, viewers learn that a woman who is disinterested or openly rejects her boyfriend is not a stop sign, but a challenge and a sign that he needs to pester more actively, to “want” the girl.
Recently, there has been an encouraging trend in Indian cinema: films are featuring more and more strong heroines and female protagonists (for example, in the films “Queen”, “Kahaani” and “Mary Kom”). However, mass cinema still relies on “testosterone” comedies and blockbusters, which bring in a lot of income.
Nirbhaya and the land of violence
A turning point in the debate on women's rights occurred in December 2012, when the entire country learned of the horrific gang rape in Delhi. The city is called the “rape capital” - this is where most brutal crimes against women occur.
On December 14, a 23-year-old girl (her name was not disclosed in the press, giving her the pseudonym Nirbhaya) went to the cinema with her boyfriend. After the session, they boarded a bus, where there were six men, including one minor; they brutally beat the girl and raped her, and then left her naked and bleeding on the road. A young man who tried to protect Nirbhaya was hit on the head, but survived, and his companion died in hospital two weeks later due to multiple internal injuries. The crime received unprecedented publicity and caused a strong reaction both in India and in the world. Protests took place in Delhi and other cities, and the rapists were arrested and sentenced to death after a lengthy trial.
Nirbhaya's death has sparked a major debate about the status of women in India, but the issue remains unresolved. Politicians talk a lot about how it would be nice to ensure the safety of women and toughen penalties for rape, but the crimes are not decreasing, and many of them are brutal. In India's capital Delhi, women try not to go out alone after dark.
It is worth noting that women of Indian origin are primarily victims of violence and discrimination, while foreign women, even if they have lived in the country for a very long time, feel safer. This may be due to the fact that crimes against foreigners attract the attention of government services and consulates, and the police take them more seriously so as not to cause an international scandal. Foreign women, especially from Europe, are considered more “loose” and - to use Bollywood terminology - more “item”, that is, performing a decorative and entertainment function.
Victim blaming and Western values
After the Nirbhaya case and other high-profile crimes, Indians began to openly demand a response from the authorities. But most political and religious leaders not only refuse to take responsibility for solving the problem, but add fuel to the fire by blaming the victims of violence and openly supporting patriarchal attitudes.
One of the country's largest religious leaders, Asaram Bapu, commented on the mass protests in 2012: “The victim is no less guilty than the rapists. She should not have resisted, but called out to the rapists as brothers and begged them to stop. She shouldn't have gotten on the bus and gone to the movies with a guy." “Women should not hang around the streets with men unless they are related to them. Such cases are a result of the influence of Western culture and style of dress,” said Mohan Bhaguoth, leader of the right-wing political party Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh. Shifting the blame to “Western influence” is a typical technique for politicians who advocate “preserving traditional Indian culture.” This apparently populist position ignores the fact that many women from traditional families who have no access to Western culture are subjected to violence.
In response to demands for capital punishment for rapists, politician Mulayam Singh Yadav said: “Boys behave like boys, is it really necessary to hang them for this?” Progressive sections of Indian society are horrified by such statements, but most of population falls under the influence of populists. Generally, Indians still believe that victimhood is “ ” and in some cases, violence can be justified.
Women who have experienced violence rarely go to the police: due to corruption, many cases do not reach court, and victims are often treated poorly. Police officers make sarcastic comments and openly humiliate women, and cases of violence in police stations are known. Human rights activists believe that in 9 out of 10 cases of rape, the victim does not report it to the authorities, which is why the criminals feel absolute impunity and permissiveness.
Talk about equality
There is still no law against domestic violence in India. Women face harassment every day public transport, lewd comments on the street and judgmental looks from older people who don’t like their “too modern” or “too revealing” clothes. However, there are changes for the better: in the last few years, violence has finally begun to be talked about, and popular media and celebrities have realized how much they influence society - and are now openly calling for respect for women.
More and more media and social platforms are writing about equality - and for the first time in many years they are calling for actively fighting sexism and speaking out against violence. Bollywood is also reacting to the changes: the film “Pink”, starring one of the most famous and respected actors in the country, Amitabh Bachchan, became a sensation in 2016. This film touches on the issue of victim blaming, talks about the principle of consent and respect for women's rights.
Modern India is just beginning to talk about feminism. As in any entrenched patriarchal system, ideas of equal rights are met with resistance. You can already see that millennial girls are more independent than their older sisters and mothers, and are ready to stand up for themselves - but emancipation will clearly take many years.
Photos: Wikimedia Commons, Reliance Entertainment, Getty Images (1)
Choosing a marriage partner
The greatest event in India is marriage. After marriage, the life of a Hindu changes radically: youth gives way to maturity. Traditionally, the choice of a spouse depends not on the bride and groom, but on the interests of the parents. Some parents agree on the child's marriage at birth, but most agree later. In the past, the age of marriage was very low. In Rajasthan, they even arranged marriages between children under five years of age. Throughout India, it was customary to marry off girls between the ages of 8 and 12. The boys were also married early. Thus, Mahatma Gandhi and the first President of the Republic of India, Rajendra Prasad, married their peers at the age of 13. The 1921 census recorded more than 600 brides aged 1 to 12 months . Upon learning of this data, Gandhi persuaded Haar lawyer Bilas Sharda to prepare a bill to prevent early marriages. It is curious that the lawyer himself was married at the age of 9. The Sharda Law, limiting the age of marriage to 14 for girls and 18 for boys, came into force in 1929.
In 1955, India passed a law allowing marriage at age 18. In 1978, the law was amended to allow marriage for men at 21 years of age and for women at 18 years of age. These restrictions are still in effect today. However, the law is only partially observed. If members of the upper castes and the majority of city dwellers abstain from early marriages In an effort to educate their children, the village poor and members of lower castes continue to engage in child marriages. By marrying off their daughters at an early age, parents thereby reduce the cost of their maintenance. The groom's family, in turn, acquires a free working unit on the farm. IN large families To save money, parents try to marry all their children at the same time. According to a 2007 survey, 47% of Indian women get married before the age of 18. At the same time, 13% of women giving birth were girls 17 years or younger. Social assistance and propaganda are gradually reducing the number of early marriages, but slowly - the established traditions are strong, especially in the villages.
Orthodox Hinduism does not prohibit polygamy: polygamy was common among high castes. "Kama Sutra" (III - IV centuries) and subsequent manuals on love - "Ratirahasya" (XIII century) and "Anangaranga" (XV century), describe polygamy and even harems. The Kama Sutra advises taking a second wife in the following cases: “Another wife is taken when [the first wife] is stupid, of bad character, unhappy, does not bear children, bears only girls, or when the husband is fickle. Therefore, let her strive from the very beginning avoid this by showing devotion, good character and intelligence. If she does not give birth to children, then let herself encourage him to take another wife. And being replaced [by another], let him, to the best of his ability, try to give [the new wife] a higher position in comparison with himself ... When she is replaced by many wives, then let her unite with the one who is closer to her." Wealthy Indians often took two wives until the twentieth century. This practice ended with the passage of the Marriage Act in 1955, which prohibited polygamy.
Based on the approach to choosing a bride, India can be divided into two vast regions - the Indo-Aryan north and the Dravidian-speaking south. In the north, they are looking for marriage with families not related by blood. Consanguineous marriage is prohibited. Parents choose a bride for their son outside the village and even neighboring villages from a family of the same caste who has no blood ties with them. As a result, residents of one village enter into marriage alliances with residents of hundreds of other villages. After the wedding, the young wife finds herself in an unfamiliar house, where she knows no one. She is lonely, her family and friends are far away, and she is forced to obey the demands new family. In Central India, the North Indian marriage system also prevailed, but in a milder form: marriages sometimes occur in the same village and residents of neighboring villages often marry. An exchange of siblings is allowed - the groom's sister marries the bride's brother.
Unlike the northern Indo-Aryans, the Dravidian family of South India cements already established family ties through marriage. There is no division of relatives by blood or marriage. But marriages in the south take place within a limited circle of families, and all their members are blood relatives. Marriages between first cousins and even between uncles and nieces are common in the South. The main thing is that a family, giving a bride to another family, expects a return bride, if not now, then in the next generation. The purpose of such marriages is to create a small, tightly knit group of relatives. After the wedding, the young wife ends up in the house of her grandmother or aunt and feels comfortable among her loved ones. The husband is most often a cousin whom she has known since childhood. It happens, of course, that the bride leaves her circle of relatives (if there is no suitable groom among them), but even then her situation is better than in Northern India.
Finding a marriage partner is not an easy task. Parents look for a bride or groom through friends or through advertisements in newspapers, which indicate religion, caste, education, beauty of the bride (with a hint of the size of the dowry) and the income of the groom. In villages, parents negotiate a marriage without the participation of the bride and groom; they do not even see each other. In urban, cultural strata of society, the bride and groom exchange photographs and may be allowed to meet in the presence of the bride's relatives. More and more young people with higher education decide their own destiny. Today, love marriages are acceptable in the upper strata of society if the bride and groom belong to the same or similar caste and have a similar educational and professional level. The attitude of parents is completely different if their child marries a person of a different religion (especially a Muslim) and, especially, a low caste.
In India, especially in the north, the bride's family is considered inferior to the groom's family and must give her gifts for a generation or even two. The main gift is, of course, the dowry. Its size is agreed upon before the wedding. A dowry includes more than just jewelry. Initially, as a dowry, the bride brought with her everything she needed to arrange her life in a new place: linen, dishes, household items. Since the end of the twentieth century, the bride's dowry increasingly began to consist of money and valuable household appliances: motorcycles, cars, etc. Sometimes the groom's parents insist that the bride's family pay for the cost of his higher education and even several years of future earnings. Often the attitude towards the newlywed in the house of the husband's parents is determined by the size of the dowry. There are cases when the bride’s relatives are not able to pay the dowry, then the demand for the dowry is repeated after the wedding, and in case of delay or refusal, the young wife’s dress may, due to “negligence,” catch fire, and she herself may die. Such murders are rarely investigated. However, in the overwhelming majority of cases, marriages in India are strong and often happy, and weddings are not only pompous and colorful, but also have sacred significance.
Hindus believe that the wedding ceremony binds husband and wife for the next seven lives, being one of the 16 sanskar- the most important sacrifices in the life of a Hindu. Chastity is of great importance here. Marrying a girl who has lost her virginity is ruled out as completely useless. People concluding this kind marriages and their children fall into the category of outcasts. The fact is that, according to Vedic ideas, a woman there is a field - kshetra, and the man is the owner of the field - kshetrin. The first one to sow a field with his seed becomes its owner and the owner of everything that will ever grow on it. Therefore, if you were not the first sower of the field, then the fruits (children) born of this field do not belong to you, and you are just a thief who sowed someone else’s field.
Engagement and wedding
People like to celebrate weddings in India in February: at this time it is spring in the country, it is already warm and dry, but not yet swelteringly hot. A wedding consists of pre-wedding ceremonies, the wedding itself and post-wedding rituals. The treats served during this period consist exclusively of dairy-vegetarian dishes. Eating meat, fish and eggs is prohibited. The main expenses for organizing the wedding are borne by the bride's parents. The first ceremony is the engagement - tilak. The male half of both families participates in this ceremony. The father of the bride, together with his relatives, goes to the groom's house to put on the groom's forehead tilak(sacred sign from kumkuma- red turmeric or saffron powder) as a sign that he is accepted as a son-in-law. At first Brahman, chanting mantras, conducts puja- ritual of worship of the gods. Then the bride's brother puts tilak on the groom's forehead and presents him with gifts. The same ritual is performed by all men from the bride’s family. The groom's family, for their part, gives gifts to the bride. Typically, during the engagement, the groom places a wedding ring on the bride's finger.
After the engagement comes the time of preparation for the wedding, which lasts from one to two months. About 15 days before the wedding, the god of wisdom and prosperity is worshiped - Ganesha(depicted as a fat man with the head of an elephant). Ganesha is asked to remove obstacles during the wedding. The remaining days before the wedding, the families of the bride and groom will worship Ganesha. The next stage is a fun ceremony intended for women - Sangeet. The bride's family invites female relatives, who gather together to the accompaniment of a wooden drum - dholak, sing songs dedicated to the wedding and the bride. During the fun, all the women dance and sing, joke, tease the bride, remember their youth and wish the bride well in life. family life. Sangeet ends with a rich treat.
Then comes the time mehndi- applying henna patterns to the bride's hands and feet. The ceremony is held at the bride's house in the presence of relatives and friends. According to legend, the darker the patterns mehndi, the more the future husband will love his wife. The bride's hands should be painted up to the elbows. The groom is symbolically depicted on the right palm, and the bride on the left. Their names are hidden among the patterns: it is believed that if the groom finds his name on the bride’s palm on the wedding day, their marriage will be happy. In addition to the bride's hands, her feet are painted. The ceremony is accompanied by singing and music. According to tradition, after marriage, a woman should not work in the house until the patterns disappear. After mehndi the bride does not leave the house until the wedding. The ceremony is held on the wedding day or the day before it Haldi, during which turmeric paste is applied to the face, hands and feet of the bride and groom to make the skin glow. On the same day, a ritual of remembrance of deceased ancestors is held in the houses of the bride and groom.
On the wedding day, the bride wears a wedding sari that is red in the north or green in the Marathas. The sari has a lot of decorations - gold threads, beads, rhinestones, pendants. Total weight wedding dress can reach 12 kg. The bride's hands are decorated with bracelets and rings. The bright red color of the bracelets indicates that the girl is getting married. The wedding ceremony takes place in the evening at the bride's house, where the groom arrives, accompanied by relatives and friends. Previously, the groom arrived on horseback or on an elephant; the car is now used more often. The groom is wearing a festive outfit. In the north it's a camisole sherwani, decorated with gold embroidery, tight pants churidars, red belt and bright turban . In the south the groom wears white dhoti(loincloth) and angavastram(light fabric cape). The bride's mother meets the groom at the gate. She bows to him and places it on his forehead tilak, protecting from all evil. The groom follows mandapa- a tent decorated with elegant fabrics, banana leaves and flowers; A sacrificial fire burns in the center of the tent. There he is waiting for his bride to be held Var Mala (Jai Mala)- flower garland exchange ceremony.
The bride appears with a flower garland in her hands. Facing each other, while sacred mantras are chanted, the bride and groom exchange garlands, which signifies their acceptance of each other as husband and wife. Other rituals performed in the mandala follow. One of the main rituals is Kanya Daan. Kanya means "virgin" and daan- "gift". During the Kanya Daan the bride's father places his daughter's right hand in the groom's right hand and, while chanting mantras, pours a libation of sacred water into their palms, symbolizing the handing over of his daughter to the groom. The sacred marriage should never be broken, so the Brahmin ties the end of the bride's sari with the groom's belt in a knot, which even after the wedding should not be undone. Then the young people, holding hands, must walk around the fire burning in the center four times. mandapas. Having walked around the fire, they take seven steps together. Like circles around the fire, each step has its own meaning and is an oath.
The final ritual of the wedding ceremony is Sindurdana, during which the groom puts on the bride's parting sindoor -- red cinnabar powder, which signifies his acceptance of the bride as his wife. He also gives her a gold wedding necklace, symbolizing his love for her. The newlyweds then feed each other sweets as a sign that they will care for each other. At the end of the wedding ceremony, the newlyweds are blessed by a brahmin - purohit, parents and close relatives. After the wedding ceremony is completed, a rich treat awaits everyone. The celebration is accompanied by songs and dances and lasts all night, and then the guests accompany the newlyweds to the husband's house, where gifts and blessings await the newlyweds. The next day, they arrange a reception for the wife's relatives - they accept gifts from them, seat them at the table and the wedding celebration continues.
Status of women
The Indian family is large - sometimes up to sixty people live in a house. The tradition places the daughter-in-law under the full authority of the mother-in-law, and if a girl marries the youngest in the family, then the authority of the older daughters-in-law also extends to her. Until recently, a woman’s position depended on her caste. In the lower castes, women work as wage earners outside the home; They are independent and can divorce and remarry. In the upper castes, a woman should not work for pay and appear in public once again. According to the Brahmins, she should be an obedient wife, a dutiful daughter-in-law and a caring mother. She cannot demand a divorce, and, having been widowed, remarry. Now the situation is changing: many women from the upper castes are getting educated and going to work. Accordingly, they get married later. The ban on widows marrying has also weakened. This leads to the gradual emancipation of upper caste women.
Back in the 19th century, the ritual was widespread in India sati, when widows burned themselves in their husband's funeral pyre. As a rule, sati was committed by women from the upper castes: there were especially many self-immolations in Rajasthan and Bengal. The Great Mughals tried to ban the savage ritual, but only the British were able to overcome it (and then only partially), who began to hang everyone who contributed to the self-immolation of widows. General Charles Napier's response to a complaint from a Brahman who was dissatisfied with the British interfering with Hindu traditions is well known. Sir Charles then said:
"So be it. It is your custom to burn widows; prepare a funeral pyre. But my nation also has a custom. When men burn a woman alive, we hang them and confiscate their property. Therefore, my carpenters will build gallows to hang all those involved in the death of widows. Let's follow - you yours, and we ours."
Despite the bans, first by the British and then by the Indian government, sati still occurs today. Since 1947, about 40 self-immolations have been recorded in India, most of them in the Shekhawati district of Rajasthan. Strict measures have been taken against sati, outlawing all those observing the ritual. The law does not differentiate between observers and instigators - they are found guilty equally. Yet the situation of widows in the upper castes remains difficult. According to ancient Indian canons, immediately after the cremation of the deceased husband, the widow (vidava) must go to the pond and wash off the paint of marriage - sindoor, from your parting, break your bangles and put on a white mourning sari. She should never again put on jewelry, beautiful clothes and fun. In the upper castes, widows are treated with disdain, especially if their husbands have died of illness. The presence of a widow at celebrations and celebrations is undesirable: it is believed that misfortunes follow her. Widows are not allowed to participate in religious ceremonies.
The custom of celibacy for widows in the Brahmin caste is especially strictly followed. The situation is much better for widows in the lower castes, where they are allowed to remarry, and in the South of India, where women are generally freer than in the North. Women in southern India occupy approximately the same position in society as in Southeast Asia, while the northern regions of India are similar in this regard to the Islamic countries of the Middle East. For example, in the north of the country it is customary to cover your face, while in the south only Muslim women cover their faces. Compensation for an Indian woman comes with age. If after marriage she does housework under the critical supervision of her mother-in-law, then after the birth of a child her status increases. As the children grow up and marry, she herself becomes the mother-in-law and head of the household, taking the place of her predecessor. In all strata of Indian society, the mother is a symbol of love and protection, an object of respect and good feelings.
