There is hardly a person who has never experienced the feeling of betrayal, unless he is a baby. We have been faced with betrayal since childhood, when our best girlfriends or friends begin to communicate with others, stop noticing us, and do not put our interests at a penny.
Then betrayal begins with any person, he cheated or spoke badly about us... At work it’s just a “set-up” when they smile sweetly in your eyes, say flattering words, and behind your back they spread rumors and do everything to ruin your career, and this only because they live only by envy. Of course, this is said here in general, because for some it’s only a small thing that has been said, while for others, life is a complete betrayal.
One of the biggest disappointments is that your best friend betrayed you; many people don’t know what to do in such a situation... After all, this was the person who could help solve all the difficulties.
She found a replacement for you
FriendshipIt all starts banally when a third person comes into your circle. You begin to notice that She laughs more at the jokes of the third one; pays more attention and reverence not to you; and then, when asked to go on vacation together, she says excuses that are incomprehensible to you, and you see her in the distance joyfully walking with a homewrecker. (This is 100% a situation from everyone’s life).
If a friend starts saying ridiculous excuses without any sincerity, then you must understand that your friendship is over... Don’t waste your life on hatred and revenge, for some reason it happens that only you will feel it, slowly killing yourself from the inside, no one cares No. Of course, it’s difficult to find another good friend, and we can’t always call any one one. Appreciate sincerity and help, do not chase success and stardom, because the latter will not listen to your problems. Do not rush to let anyone into your soul, so as not to get burned again, but also scare away your friends; perhaps you will be lucky enough to find among them faithful and decent ones.
Betrayal by boyfriend and best friend
Look into their eyes, look for notes of guilt and sincere regret. Maybe they stumbled and now they hate themselves? Then think about the situation and make the right decision. Sometimes we do things out of stupidity that we regret for the rest of our lives, and it can be the same with them.
BUT! If they have a good relationship with each other, then simply cross them out of your life. They are not worthy to be with you, because they could have warned about the end of the relationship BEFORE the betrayal. There are two of them, and you are alone, you won’t get the truth to convince everyone else of how vile they are. Don’t be afraid, feel free to express everything you think, don’t regret what you said, after all, you have the right. Having splashed out your emotions, you won’t regret that you didn’t tell them everything you thought in time. And let them live with a feeling of guilt before you.
When your soul is bad, other people’s problems help you to abstract away from it. We recommend watching a program dedicated to betrayal.
Video: how to live after betrayal
They said nasty things behind my back
This is a low blow. When you tell the most secret, intimate... And you are in the dirt! This is “not a friend”; such people cannot be called the best. Know that fate doesn’t throw people out of life so easily, probably this place should be taken by that friend who is happy to spend time with you, he is interested in you! At first you will miss Her and your gatherings, but over time you will have others, perhaps even better.
In general, if you are so deeply hurt by your best friend’s betrayal, I’ll tell you what to do. It may not be very correct, but She deserves it! Tell her directly, everything, completely everything you think.:
“I know everything about your gossip and meanness, I’m amazed. How could you do this, because we have been friends since childhood and I have never done this to you... How dare you call yourself my friend and smile so sweetly? You think I still love you...but you're wrong. Love and respect have given way to hatred for you. If I say nasty things behind your back, will you be happy? I feel so sorry for the person who will love you and be with you. Because I know what a traitor you are and inside you are rotten. I don’t want to waste my feelings on you anymore, I hope we never meet again.”
Nature has endowed women with various qualities, among which emotionality occupies an important place. Due to this feature, all representatives of the fair sex have a very difficult time enduring insults, not to mention betrayal - especially if it was committed by a loved one, for example a friend.
Such events always happen unexpectedly. You can unreservedly trust a close friend, share your most intimate things with her and cry on her shoulder, when suddenly there will be a bolt from the blue and you will find out that she did not live up to your trust. What to do in such cases? This article will help those who find themselves in such a situation and do not know what to do if suddenly a friend dear to their heart betrayed them.
Sequencing
Of course, it is always easier to give advice from the outside. And therefore, often women who find themselves in difficult situations do not listen to others and rashly “cut all the loose ends.” At such moments they react especially sharply to calls to come to their senses and calm down. Be prepared for any turn of events if you intend to help a woman who has become a victim of betrayal.
Know that it will take time for her pain to subside. And only then can you give advice and help the girl find answers to questions about why her close friend decided to betray her and what will help her survive this turning point in the relationship.
But the “dummy” person could very well use you for his own gain or for some other reason, obtaining the necessary information or something else. Undoubtedly, at first such news will seem implausible to you. That is why at the first moment you will stubbornly deny the news you have received about the betrayal of a loved one and will begin to think about how to forget what you heard. But this won’t last long, and you still ask your friend if this is so and whether there really is a knife “sticking out” in your back, which she stuck with her own hand.
When humility comes, calmly assess the current situation. Now you know that you are faced with betrayal. Try to take this as another life lesson. Even if it is heavy, it will bring a lot of benefits in the future. After all, if you believe folk wisdom, a friend is only known in trouble. This means that if some kind of grief had happened, she would definitely not have helped you. What if it were a real danger and a threat to life?
If you were counting on your friend's help and support, you would not receive it and would end up with nothing. Fortunately, the true face of the traitor was revealed earlier, and now this situation should serve as a lesson to you that you need to understand people more carefully. However, returning to the beginning of our article, let us recall that it is very easy to give advice from the outside.
What to do in such situations
Even if a person you trusted did something “irreparable,” there is no need to suspect everyone after that. Just be careful, because caution has never been a hindrance for anyone. And don’t deny yourself communication. According to psychology, in such situations it will be useful to speak out and take advice from others in order to have additional food for thought.
It is quite possible that a little time will pass, and the person who betrayed you will come to her senses, repent and ask for forgiveness for the offense committed. How to behave then? Undoubtedly, the decision is up to you. But in any case, no matter what decision you make - forget about the betrayal and forgive the culprit or refuse any relationship with her - you need to remember the following:
2. Don’t look for the truth “on the side.” Even if the original source was someone else’s arguments, be sure to talk to your friend about what happened. But you only need to do this when the passions subside and the right moment comes. In the meantime, while you wait for this, try to sensibly evaluate: what kind of friends were you?
3. Remember how much good and bad you had to go through with a friend who betrayed you. Any relationship, especially if it is long-term, undergoes many different events. If there were significantly more worthy and unforgettable moments than negative ones, and your friend, completely unwillingly, betrayed you, give her a second chance.
4. You should definitely talk. But let us remind you that the conversation should take place only after the offense has subsided. Betrayal is a very difficult situation. But if you are faced with betrayal, try not to throw away your loved ones.
Think about it: maybe for the girl who betrayed you, the act she committed is also a turning point, and she feels bad now too? Then both of you will have a serious conversation anyway. And if you value your friendship and both consider each other best friends, most likely, reconciliation will await you.
But for this, the betrayed friend will need to apologize, and you will need to start forgetting about the situation in order to leave it in the past and not raise this issue again. And you need to understand why your friend betrayed - what was the reason for this and does she repent?
Forgive, let go and forget
Let's say you and your friend who betrayed you made peace: she repented and asked for forgiveness, and you forgave her. But what to do next? Many of those betrayed by someone will someday agree that it is not so easy to forget about what happened. Especially when it comes to how to forget betrayal.
But no matter how old you are, the answer to the question of why this happened right now and with you will disturb your consciousness and soul. If you have decided to reconcile with a traitor, then it is better not to disturb your subconscious with unnecessary assumptions, because you may never get the right answer.
In this regard, you need to learn to “let go” of the situation. Many psychologists, and simply people who have previously encountered betrayal, advise starting to build relationships “from scratch.” But at the same time, we should not forget about the good things that friends experienced in the past. Save positive moments in your subconscious - they will only strengthen your friendship.
For those who are wondering what to do next if a friend betrayed them, all these tips will help you get over what happened. And if you have forgiven the culprit for her offense and are now trying to improve the relationship, then try to listen to them. Author: Elena Suvorova
There is hardly a person who has never experienced the feeling of betrayal, unless he is a baby. We have been faced with betrayal since childhood, when our best girlfriends or friends begin to communicate with others, stop noticing us, and do not put our interests at a penny.
Then betrayal begins with any person, he cheated or spoke badly about us... At work it’s just a “set-up” when they smile sweetly in your eyes, say flattering words, and behind your back they spread rumors and do everything to ruin your career, and this only because they live only by envy. Of course, this is said here in general, because for some it’s only a small thing that has been said, while for others, life is a complete betrayal.
One of the biggest disappointments is that your best friend betrayed you; many people don’t know what to do in such a situation... After all, this was the person who could help solve all the difficulties.
She found a replacement for you
FriendshipIt all starts banally when a third person comes into your circle. You begin to notice that She laughs more at the jokes of the third one; pays more attention and reverence not to you; and then, when asked to go on vacation together, she says excuses that are incomprehensible to you, and you see her in the distance joyfully walking with a homewrecker. (This is 100% a situation from everyone’s life).
If a friend starts saying ridiculous excuses without any sincerity, then you must understand that your friendship is over... Don’t waste your life on hatred and revenge, for some reason it happens that only you will feel it, slowly killing yourself from the inside, no one cares No. Of course, it’s difficult to find another good friend, and we can’t always call any one one. Appreciate sincerity and help, do not chase success and stardom, because the latter will not listen to your problems. Do not rush to let anyone into your soul, so as not to get burned again, but also scare away your friends; perhaps you will be lucky enough to find among them faithful and decent ones.
Betrayal by boyfriend and best friend
Look into their eyes, look for notes of guilt and sincere regret. Maybe they stumbled and now they hate themselves? Then think about the situation and make the right decision. Sometimes we do things out of stupidity that we regret for the rest of our lives, and it can be the same with them.
BUT! If they have a good relationship with each other, then simply cross them out of your life. They are not worthy to be with you, because they could have warned about the end of the relationship BEFORE the betrayal. There are two of them, and you are alone, you won’t get the truth to convince everyone else of how vile they are. Don’t be afraid, feel free to express everything you think, don’t regret what you said, after all, you have the right. Having splashed out your emotions, you won’t regret that you didn’t tell them everything you thought in time. And let them live with a feeling of guilt before you.
When your soul is bad, other people’s problems help you to abstract away from it. We recommend watching a program dedicated to betrayal.
Video: how to live after betrayal
They said nasty things behind my back
This is a low blow. When you tell the most secret, intimate... And you are in the dirt! This is “not a friend”; such people cannot be called the best. Know that fate doesn’t throw people out of life so easily, probably this place should be taken by that friend who is happy to spend time with you, he is interested in you! At first you will miss Her and your gatherings, but over time you will have others, perhaps even better.
In general, if you are so deeply hurt by your best friend’s betrayal, I’ll tell you what to do. It may not be very correct, but She deserves it! Tell her directly, everything, completely everything you think.:
“I know everything about your gossip and meanness, I’m amazed. How could you do this, because we have been friends since childhood and I have never done this to you... How dare you call yourself my friend and smile so sweetly? You think I still love you...but you're wrong. Love and respect have given way to hatred for you. If I say nasty things behind your back, will you be happy? I feel so sorry for the person who will love you and be with you. Because I know what a traitor you are and inside you are rotten. I don’t want to waste my feelings on you anymore, I hope we never meet again.”
I was betrayed by a friend.. very close.. too close.. although we didn’t communicate for long, she got into my soul.. I believed... then she betrayed me by telling the secret to the people who surrounded us.. a terrible thing began.. I don’t care. I wanted to live... no one talked to me... no one needed me.. it all lasted for about 7 months... then I changed myself.. became a bitch.. other people’s attitudes changed... changed tastes.. everything .. became different... everything worked out in the team... but I never got her back.. and I won’t get her back... impossible.. she doesn’t need me.. but I need her, no matter how trite.. like air .. all this has been going on for 2 years since I met her.. I don’t forget about her for a second.. I.. I.. I just have constant hysterics.. tears.. I always dream about her.. I’m glad though I wish this... I know that it was she who did everything.. only she doesn’t know about it... help... I don’t know what to do... no one knows about this.. I don’t want to tell.. they won't understand...
Support the site:
Bitch for life, age: 16 / 08/08/2012
Responses:
Dear girl, why do you allow yourself to depend on the person who betrayed you? What kind of friend is she and why do you need her?!
You must be able to repel evil, but this does not mean being a bitch. If a girl betrayed you, this does not mean that all people are evil and that you should be evil. You just need to learn to understand people and not depend on them.
You should not trust people with such secrets, the disclosure of which could cause harm.
If you need to open your soul, then it is better to go to church for confession.
God help you!
Varvara, age: 50 / 08/08/2012
How sometimes we want to believe that if one person’s attitude towards us changes, magically, and here it is, happiness... But the reality is completely different.
“Do not make for yourself an idol...” is told to us, to all who seek an ideal on earth. I’ll tell you a secret: the problem is not in this person (he is who he is), but in ourselves. The light has converged like a wedge in our souls, this is our problem It's up to us to solve it.
And therefore... get busy with your life, look at it from the outside. Maybe you can change something? Learn something? Does someone need you?
Don’t live in dreams, but in reality. Keep yourself busy, fill your life. Draw conclusions about who you can let into your soul and who you can’t.
I am writing from my own hard-won experience, and therefore valuable.)
All the best.
Alla, age: 36 / 08/08/2012
Why do you need such unreliable companions in life? Well, if not now and not this “girlfriend” would tell about you, then at another time she would give away another secret. This is natural, because having betrayed once, a person will betray again. Well, these are the principles of your “friend”. She will have to answer to God for her meanness. And to you - for your despondency and self-betrayal. Why did I decide this? Here is your quote: "...then I changed myself....became a bitch....". Have I changed myself or still myself? If you are not a bitch in life, then there is no need to break yourself.
Yes, as we age, life makes our “skin” thicker, but this is a normal protective reaction. The situation should have taught you that you need to trust people selectively. Not everyone and not everything. Come out of this difficult but necessary period renewed and bright, I beg you. We will support you!
Laura, age: 30 / 08/08/2012
No need to worry so much. I also had a friend, and we had a lot in common. I told her what I couldn’t even tell my mother and sister, with whom I am now very close...
When you stop communicating with your best friend, it always feels like a part of you, your heart, is being cut off and thrown away. But you have to endure it)
when you don’t want to live, lie down on the bed and fall asleep - this always helps me. When you wake up, you will be able to appreciate everything in a new way.
Loya G., age: 22 / 08/09/2012
My dear, my best friend betrayed me when
I was 15 years old, I was crying terribly, depressed. My
"best" friend knew that I was unrequited
I've been in love with a guy for several years now, and having learned this
I secretly fell in love with this guy. I saw how
he idolizes her, she tormented herself, cried,
I did not expect such betrayal. Remember
There are no best friends, women are envious and
cruel creatures. I'm sure your friend
the best, but I can tell you with
absolute responsibility that after this
betrayal you will come to your senses, you will
another, stronger, smarter, you will only trust
to your family and those closest to you. You will
better. You will go through a period of bitchiness and
a period of loneliness, but then it awaits you
surprise, you'll be happy because it's faster
you will grow up, you will be smart and proud of yourself, for
your endurance. Always to build a new one
house, you need to break the old foundation. You clever,
and everything will be fine with you. Forever yours
The Iron Lady
Iron Lady, age: 18 / 08/09/2012
You go to her first. My friend betrayed me, I also suffered, but then I pretended that I didn’t care about her, and she came running herself. But listen, if that doesn't work, try getting a new best friend.
Nastya, age: 13 / 04/01/2013
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