Stages of relationship development. What are the stages of relationships? Stages of love by year

Any relationship develops according to certain stages: first, the couple is surrounded by a flair of romance and falling in love, then passion appears, then love, habit and, finally, friendship. But in order to reach the cherished ending (when two partners become not just lovers, but truly close), you need to go through a period in which love has passed and a period of disgust has begun.

Many, having experienced this feeling for the first time, begin to panic and make sudden movements - break up, quarrel or change partners. It seems to them that this is a logical ending. Before this, everything was wonderful, we lived in perfect harmony, understood each other perfectly, discussed the same topics, but now that’s it, it’s over.

Sometimes this is true. At times, love passes on its own, without sending warning notifications that provide a month to think about it. Yes, it happens that you wake up and a complete stranger is lying next to you. But before you do anything, it is important to understand whether the feelings have really disappeared - or whether they have simply cooled down.

The difficulty is that it is very difficult to sincerely, sensibly and responsibly determine when to end a relationship, and when to fight for it, even despite the abyss. After all, it can be immense. It can destroy not just a wonderful and dear image, but also faith in your own values ​​- if you love a person who has changed so much, how not to make a mistake next time?

The answer is in the details (as usual). If you look at the picture only with a general glance, then it is unlikely that you will be able to cope with this task on your own. In relationships, the ball is ruled by unsightly and insignificant details, from which, like a puzzle, the answer to the exciting question is put together: to break up or wait it out.

After all, if all the signs indicate that a period of disgust has begun in your couple, then a difficult and tedious path of patience and a test of love lies ahead. And how to get through it, not get lost and understand where it begins, read on.

Detail No. 1: your partner remembers what is important to you

For some it is important that their partner washes the dishes after themselves, and for others it is important to have an evening when you both confess your most secret things to each other. It can be anything, the main thing is that your significant other remembers, protecting this knowledge in his head and heart. Listen, maybe it’s too early to part?

Tablet No. 1: remember what is important to your partner

Yes, you are annoyed by the way your partner eats, sleeps, talks, quarrels and even takes care of you. Everything irritates you. But if you notice that he remembers what is important to you, try to also remember what is important to him. Maybe it was some unexpected confession about his childhood or something that he was very ashamed of - the main thing is that it once brought you closer, showed how vulnerable you both are, but still together. And this old closeness will again help you feel the old feelings.

Detail No. 2: partner donates

When something upsets you, your partner feels it and makes concessions: refuses to meet with friends, agrees to an unloved movie, takes on household responsibilities that are not his own. This may be a concession in a quarrel, conflict, or just everyday life, but it is a small sacrifice - a small renunciation of selfishness.

Tablet No. 2: test your feelings using the example of a big sacrifice

Yes, it is partly cruel to put your partner in a position where he will have to sacrifice and give up something more than a dirty plate or a place as the winner in an argument. But if relationships are at stake, then all means are fair in war. Only after seeing what concessions another person can make for you (who essentially, like all of us, lives only for himself), will you understand how deep your feelings are.

Detail No. 3: the partner is afraid

Not an abstract maniac lurking around the corner, but the fact that you can break up. Many people take this for granted, but it determines how valued you are in a relationship. Few people sincerely and truly admit that they are afraid of losing another. But if you still hear this addressed to you, it means the matter is serious.

Tablet No. 3: imagine your life without a partner

Most are blindly confident that without their soulmate, who is disgusting right now, life will sparkle with new colors. Men will go out to bars, and women will lose weight, become prettier and find themselves a millionaire. But in fact, with the disappearance of a partner, something important may disappear from your life: these cozy, homely evenings that can only be spent as a couple, these plans in which a warm, desirable home appears, this future in which you see yourself by the fireplace with two Labradors. All this may not happen again to anyone else, because we do not know who fate is preparing for us. And perhaps she is preparing this particular person, but she is testing whether you can see the present behind the veil of the empty, temporary and unpleasant. After all, after disgust there is always a sharp and incredible leap during a period of great human intimacy.

How often, after a few months of a relationship, a partner declares that he is madly in love with his other half and ready to spend your whole life next to you?

Can a relationship that lasts several months be called true love?

Psychologists say that the true feeling of love comes only after years life together and on the way to it the couple goes through several stages. What stages of love in a relationship exist?

How to improve a relationship with a guy at a distance? will help you!

Is it true that there are seven stages of real feeling?

According to psychologists, every couple goes through several stages of relationships on the way to a real and deep love feeling.

Each stage can take a different period of time, it depends on the depth of affection for each other, on the similarity of character, temperament and some other features of the relationship.

Psychologists have developed a template consisting of seven stages that almost every married couple. Of course, it is impossible to fit every relationship without exception into this template, for every partner everything happens individually.

The relationships of some couples are characterized by cyclicality: after going through the three initial stages, the couple can return to the first stage, inflamed with new feelings for each other and reviving a new round of love.

About the stages of development of love in psychology in this video:

Stages and their characteristics

There are 7 steps that couples in love overcome on the way to a real feeling of love. Each stage characterized by its own characteristics.

How to forget your first love? Find out about this from ours.

Love

And the candy-bouquet period. Duration of the very first stage of falling in love usually about a year or a year and a half.

At this time, partners do not notice shortcomings, they are blinded by a strong feeling of love, everything seems wonderful and beautiful to them in the character of their loved one.

The beloved appears in the most unreal light when no attention is paid to negative character traits.

Scientists who studied the first period of relationships gave it the name “chemistry of love.” At this time, hormones, oxytocin and endorphin, are actively produced, completely taking over the consciousness of lovers.

Actively produced substances suppress attempts at rational thinking and block the emergence of negative emotions. Takes over a person completely euphoria in love.

Partners try to spend every free time together, communicate a lot, call each other, often declare their love. Half of their vocabulary consists of affectionate and tender words addressed to a loved one.

Most often, this stage ends with the registration of marriage, since people “fly on the wings of love” and want to quickly legitimize their relationship in order to indicate their status to society.

What stages does a person in love go through? About this in the video:

Satiation

After marriage and the beginning of life together, a stage of satiety usually comes. Primary strong love begins to subside, hormones no longer rage, and brain function resumes as usual.

Each partner begins to pay more attention to other areas of their life, wants to communicate with friends, and be closely involved in work.

In this period the first conflicts begin.

Often they are associated with the fact that one of the lovers has already switched to new stage love, while the second partner was still at the stage of falling in love.

He wants to spend a lot of time with his loved one and begins to be offended when he no longer encounters such impulses on his part. Living together turns falling in love into something ordinary and familiar, a loved one is always nearby, so satiety arises.

It is during this period that partners begin to discover each other’s shortcomings. This happens not because previously negative character traits were carefully hidden, but because of the resumption of normal brain function, unencumbered by the release of hormones and endorphins.

Most often, the period of satiety takes a very short period of time and is invisible to the spouses themselves. Sometimes it can change places with the first stage of falling in love, especially if newborns appear in the newly-made family during this period.

Disgust

At the third stage it begins a real challenge for relationships, since the period of disgust comes into its own.

The “rosy” perception of the partner is replaced a real assessment of his character.

It turns out that the beloved has many shortcomings that begin to lead to irritation and fury.

Cute features no longer seem so funny and interesting, they are starting to get pissed off. During this period, advantages fade into the background and become almost invisible.

Spouses must necessarily go through the stage of disgust in order to achieve the state true love. Without this stage, the onset of true feeling is impossible.

The duration of the period of disgust is individual for each family; the lucky ones experience unpleasant feelings towards each other for only a few months, and for some it drags on for years, sometimes giving way to the above stages of relationships.

The period of disgust is the richest in quarrels, scandals and conflicts. Each partner shows himself at his most unattractive, expressing a large number of complaints and pointing out significant shortcomings of a loved one.

With the onset of each new day, it seems that the person with whom you share life is not the one who was needed. It is at this stage that many realize that they no longer want to go through life hand in hand, this realization is followed by divorce.

Many couples go in circles, constantly going through three stages and not moving on. For this reason ex-spouses often end up together again and even get married again because they are attracted to each other.

How to overcome the disgust stage in a relationship? Useful tips:

Humility

If the couple managed to overcome general disgust, a more pleasant period begins - humility.

People living together understand that it is impossible to change another person that he is an accomplished person with his own set of advantages and disadvantages. They try to accept each other.

The partners’ apartment now looks not like a battlefield, where fierce battles take place every day, but like a negotiation room, where conscious dialogues are most often heard and the word “compromise” is regularly heard.

It is at this stage that spouses begin to go to a psychologist, read smart books, trying to understand each other. Each partner understands that in order to create a harmonious union, first of all, he must work on himself, and only then ask for compromise changes from his beloved.

People begin to change to make living together more comfortable. It is believed that humility and patience characteristic primarily of women as wiser and more flexible by nature.

Most often, it is the wife who pushes the man to the stage of humility, showing by her example how it is necessary to adapt to each other.

Respect

After the stage of humility comes respect, selfless service to a partner.

If previously lovers did something nice for each other, expecting the same attitude in return, now good deeds become selfless.

People strive to please only because their significant other is respected, because she is expensive.

At this stage of movement towards true love, the soul itself strives to please its partner. People truly value each other and are imbued with respect.

Spouses serve each other completely voluntarily, getting great pleasure from the fact that the other half is happy. Sometimes one of the partners has already moved to the stage of respect, while the other lingers at the previous stage.

Through selfless actions, the spouse who has crossed a new line pushes the beloved to move to the stage of respect.

The first sign of an emerging true love is the desire to sincerely and selflessly serve a partner.

Friendship

Friendship replaces the stage of respect. Usually by this period the couple experienced many life difficulties that were solved shoulder to shoulder.

Partners know each other from hair roots to fingertips, they know each other’s character, habits and temperament.

From conflict situations they go out without noisy showdowns, they just need to talk and everything will be resolved peacefully.

This stage can last for years and decades, when the spouses find peace of mind in a cooperative society.

Most often it comes when children grow up and spouses have more time for joint activities and entertainment.

They can finally devote much more time to each other than before, when small children needed them every minute.

Love

Few reach the very last pinnacle stage, which is called love. Many people break down at the stage of disgust and cannot achieve true feeling. Couple on the step of love understands each other perfectly, partners breathe and live in unison.

Shared company gives them pleasure and brings peace. Spouses accept each other completely, with all their strengths and weaknesses.

Hormones are no longer acting up, imperfections are no longer annoying, they are smoothed out and outweighed by advantages, which appear more and more clearly.

If people have reached this stage, having overcome all difficulties, having stepped over the stage of disgust, they can boldly declare that they truly love each other.

How does love live? Brilliant psychological cartoon:

Through the eyes of psychologists

The initial ardent love actually still far from true love. In our society, the concepts of “infatuation” and “love” are often confused.

Not all couples achieve true love; some do not have the patience and strength to overcome all the obstacles that appear along the way. Many people get stuck in stages of disgust, unable to reach humility and calm their passions.

Such couples most often disintegrate. This may happen forever, but in some cases the partners get back together, returning to the first stage of falling in love.

They begin to go through all the stages again, again reaching disgust, which leads to a new separation, or is successfully overcome a second time.

Maintaining relationships at a decent level very hard work, which is not available to everyone.

On the path to true love, there are a large number of obstacles that must be overcome in order to find peace and tranquility in the family.

All happy couples once went through stages of satiation and disgust in order to “grow” great love from a seed to each other.

Is there love at a distance? find out right now.

Is it true that love lasts 3 years? Find out from the video:

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Female-male relationships are a process that takes most life and time of almost every person living in society. Human behavior aimed at finding a partner to start a family is considered socially acceptable and approved. However, not everyone, and not immediately, manages to create a harmonious happy family. By 2016 in the Russian Federation, the number of divorces in relation to the number of marriages reached more than 50%.

Popular on the site: How relationships work (editor's note)

In this article I would like to analyze the stages of relationship development, because in my opinion, the inability or unwillingness to move from one stage to another is one of the main reasons for the breakdown of relationships.

The Black Queen told Alice: “Here, you know, you have to run as fast as you can just to stay in the same place.”

Wikipedia cites the Black Queen Hypothesis, which states: "Regarding the evolutionary system, a species requires constant change and adaptation to maintain its existence in the surrounding biological world, which constantly evolves with it." Simply put: in movement there is life and everything needs development, and the absence of changes equals degradation. This is why relationships must constantly be in a state of development, and stagnation leads to a breakdown in relationships. For relationships, an indicator of development is a timely transition from one stage to another.

Let's look at these stages.

1. Stage of falling in love.

At this stage, the most romantic urges of lovers appear. Also, it is called the candy-bouquet period. At the stage of falling in love, partners tend to idealize each other; everything seems magical, sublime and easy. Lovers do not notice problems and shortcomings in each other. The abundant release of hormones into the blood, inherent in this stage, pushes into romantic actions, some of which, at first glance, look crazy. The idealization of each other by partners is also manifested in the fact that lovers tend to give their partners qualities that they do not actually have.

Often at this stage they begin sexual relations. The stage of falling in love is characterized by a riot of feelings, colors and emotions; a person feels great. This stage lasts from 1 to 2.5-3 months (the numbers do not pretend to be mathematically accurate). After this stage, the level of emotions decreases slightly, the pink veil gradually disappears, and the partners begin to see flaws in each other.

Having ended a long relationship, one man came to the company of his friends every month and a half with new girl. It is difficult to say with certainty why exactly he did this. However, we can safely put forward the hypothesis that he had no desire to move to the next stage of the relationship, and he, only starting to see shortcomings in his chosen one, exchanged her for a new one, again plunging into the whirlpool of feelings and emotions characteristic of the stage of falling in love. Since at the next stage the first problems in relationships inevitably begin, and for this man Apparently, these problems over the years of a serious relationship have become difficult to bear.

2. Acceptance stage.

After the level of emotions characteristic of the first stage has subsided, the relationship moves to the next stage. Partners begin to see each other’s shortcomings, the need arises to agree on something, to give in somewhere, to put up with something, and the first quarrels arise. This stage is the first difficulty in a relationship, the first test. Not everyone goes through it.

Popular on the site: Resentment in relationships. How not to be offended by a man (editor's note)

At this stage, the future basis of strong, serious relationships is emerging - the ability to compromise. It is important to understand that a compromise is not a score: here I gave in to you, for this you give in to me. The desire for compromise should come from the desire to improve relationships and develop them further, and not from the desire for personal gain. However, compromise is a mutual phenomenon; you cannot only give, you must also receive in return.

If there is no compromise in the relationship, most likely a situation will arise when one partner begins to push the other (of course, one can assume the existence of an ideal couple where partners understand each other perfectly, but this is rather a myth) and this will end in quarrels and breakup.

So, having a more meaningful (compared to the stage of falling in love) look, seeing the partner’s shortcomings and his own, making the first attempts to come to an agreement, perhaps having gone through the first quarrels, a person must answer the question: does he accept his partner or not.

In my understanding, acceptance is as follows. The person says to himself: “Yes, I see my partner deeper, I know about his shortcomings, he knows about mine, we are ready to negotiate in order to try to avoid quarrels and breakups, I have feelings for him and am ready to develop the relationship.” If such acceptance is mutual, then, in my opinion, the partners are ready to move to the next stage of the relationship.

3. Living together.

Perhaps the most controversial stage. In my opinion, it should last from three months to one year. It is especially rejected by representatives of the Soviet generation of people, where living together without a stamp in the passport was socially disapproved. However, in my opinion, this is a very important stage in the development of any relationship. Of course, based on romantic moods, one can call this stage a calculation, but it is better, as they say, to measure seven times, and then cut.

The famous poet, Vladimir Mayakovsky (Soviet, by the way) wrote about a love boat that crashed into everyday life. This phrase may already be well-worn, but it is precisely what characterizes this stage of the relationship best. Let's imagine an elementary situation. After the acceptance stage (“yes, this is my man, I’m ready/ready to work on the relationship”), the lovers get married and after the wedding go on their first vacation together. This is most likely a hotel where you don’t have to cook, clean, wash, iron, etc. After a happy first vacation, the newlyweds return to their usual lives, where the same notorious life awaits them. Each family has its own rules for living together. Both in His family and in Hers. And so He and She meet together in their own family and each of them, quite logically, transfers the rules of their parental family to their newly-made family (“we have breakfast at 09:00 and whoever is late for breakfast misses it,” “ until a man gets up from the table, no one else gets up because of him,” “every Sunday we go to church,” etc.). What is the probability that these rules will coincide? Minimal.

Accordingly, the spouses will have to create the rules of their own family, which can be difficult. This topic is certainly worth its own article, but it was important to provide this introduction. So, in my opinion, it is very important to try this on yourself before the wedding and stamping it in your passport. After all, it often happens that the desired joint rules cannot be found, quarrels arise and relationships come to naught. Let it happen better before marriage. After all, the status of a divorced person does not increase whist in society, especially for a girl.

Working in the field of personnel selection, I very often came across profiles of applicants in which “divorced” was listed in the “marital status” section. Literally every third profile. It seems to me that disagreements in everyday life are one of the main reasons for divorce.

In addition, we must not forget about such an important and also worthy of a separate article characteristic of relationships as sexual compatibility. One client complained during an individual consultation that she did not feel the desire to have sex with her husband as often as he wanted (every other day), but once a week was enough for her. It is best to find out about the existence of these problems before marriage, because under the influence of social messages ("endure and fall in love", "divorced? That means something is wrong with her") people often prefer to stay married, dooming themselves to an unhappy life, especially having a child.

The Destiny.ru portal provides the results of a study on whether it is worth living together before marriage. Here are some excerpts:

• People who decide to live together without visiting the registry office will most likely never get there. 50% of such couples separate after living together. This is because the partner will strive to find a “suitable” person for himself, without shortcomings.
• People who lived in a civil marriage, but decided to legalize the marriage, separated after several years of living together.
• Couples who decide to live together before marriage have no responsibilities to each other. Marriage obliges a person and takes relationships to a level above love.

It would seem that this study refutes my idea of ​​usefulness civil marriage, but, returning to my thesis about the impossibility or unwillingness of a transition from one stage to another, one can understand that by delaying the stage of a civil marriage for several years, one may face the risk of a break in the relationship, because There is no development in these very relationships. This can be said about any of the stages described in this article.

One of my friends lived with his girlfriend for 8 (!) years before his wedding, and in the end their wedding did not take place due to constant quarrels and reproaches. Relationships constantly need development; this is one of the basic principles of building happy relationships.

4. Wedding and children.

After the stage of living together, it is logical to assume marriage as the next stage. It should be noted that I am considering the “classic version” of the development of events and I in no way insist that for all couples everything should happen exactly this way. I fully admit that some couples may stop at the stage of living together and not want to get married and have children.

However, most people want offspring, again, in addition to biological conditioning, this process is socially approved. By the way, these questions are probably familiar to many (“When will you get a girlfriend/boyfriend?”, “When will you get married?”, “When will you have a child?”) and these questions go in the order of development of the stages of relationships, according to my theory. Many people at this stage of the relationship have a question about how soon after marriage to give birth to a child. I think there is no and cannot be a specific answer.

Leaving aside couples who married after the future wife became pregnant, the pattern often observed is that the child is born approximately a year after marriage. Logically, now young people have a new social status" new family"and they expand this family. It happens that newlyweds are in no hurry to have offspring due to various reasons (the desire for financial stability - “getting on their feet,” the desire to “live for themselves,” travel, education, etc.) I think it’s right to leave it “at the mercy” of the newly-made family, as well as, indeed, the question of conception itself.

So, the creation of offspring is, firstly, a biologically determined process (prolongation of the family is one of the basic instincts characteristic of all living beings), and secondly, socially approved. Based on this, most couples strive to produce offspring. Unfortunately (I mentioned this above), many couples end their relationship both before and after marriage. And, again, unfortunately, the situation of single-parent families is widespread.

There is a stereotype in society that a woman should give birth before the age of thirty, otherwise, supposedly, there may be problems during childbirth, and subsequently the child will have “old” parents. This devastating message leads many couples to rush into having a baby at a young age.

This often happens at the romantic stage, when, as we remember, the gaze is clouded and the partner’s shortcomings are not visible, or the stage of living together is skipped and the couple is corroded by living together, aggravated by raising a child (it may sound rude, but in fact it is very ordeal, just remember the sleepless nights of your parents).

Therefore, I believe that the process of childbirth should be approached meaningfully. Firstly, you need material support future family, secondly, the newlyweds’ acceptance of each other, thirdly, an agreement on how to conduct their daily life together. Of course, there must be a desire to have a child, and not because “I’m soon thirty” and “mom wants to babysit her grandson.”

By the way, the opposite situation also happens when mother expectant mother young enough and does not want to become a grandmother. She can try in every possible way, even if not directly, to dissuade her daughter from pregnancy. I know a family where a forty-year-old grandmother, when communicating with her grandson, asks to be called by name, and not grandmother. A difficult test for a child’s psyche.

5. The “empty nest” stage.

Having stepped through an impressive period of a couple’s life, which includes raising children and their social adaptation, we move to the last stage of relationship development - the “empty nest” stage. Although it is difficult for some parents to accept, all children eventually grow up and it is their turn to start their own family and leave home. For many, this is a real blow and it is not surprising, because from the moment of birth to leaving home, more than a dozen years pass, and this is a very long time and people get used to living together, with their family, experiencing pleasant and not so pleasant moments together, and helping each other.

During the learning process I encountered very interesting reasoning my Teacher and Mentor Ekaterina Kryukova about children and parents. I'll retell it in my own words. How can children thank their parents for the gift of life? Neither material assistance, nor respect and veneration can be an equivalent gratitude or response. Or maybe, perhaps, just creating your own family. Makes you think, doesn't it? A very beautiful, evolutionarily determined postulate. Let's add to it my reasoning about basic instinct and social approval of offspring and we get the absolute naturalness and necessity of this process.

However, this does not negate the pain of loss that parents may experience when their children leave them. There are many recommendations that are designed to help parents during this difficult time (be more attentive to each other, come up with joint hobbies, get a pet, etc.)

Some parents, frankly speaking, cannot cope with this. Many people are familiar with the situation in which a mother devotes too much time and attention to her daughter and her own family, which the latter fails to build with such parental participation. Advice, calls, meetings, all this in large quantities is present and serves only one purpose - not to let its “nest” empty.

Of course, in most cases this is done completely unconsciously, but the fact remains that the daughter has a very difficult time. Not communicating or moving to another city usually does not help; in this case, a kind of psychological “cutting of the umbilical cord” is necessary. You need to psychologically break the connection with your mother in order to build your own family, independent in all respects. It can be very difficult, but it is necessary for a healthy development of events. I would like to emphasize that we're talking about about a psychological process that does not involve breaking up relationships as such. Of course, this is a very voluminous topic that should receive separate consideration.

Conclusion.

In developmental psychology, it is generally accepted that human aging is a stage of personal development, albeit one that imposes certain limitations. This hypothesis can also be applied to relationships in couples. Few people manage to carry their relationships throughout their lives, and this makes those that last for decades become so valuable.

In this article I discussed female-male relationships based on own experience, observations and psychological knowledge.

In most cases, there are several main stages in a relationship, each of which is characterized by different problems and situations. Perhaps you may have missed some stages in your relationship. Sometimes it can be quite difficult to determine what stage you are in right now, but each stage is an opportunity to explore your compatibility and commitment to each other. Whether you're in a new relationship or building a serious long-term relationship, you need to take the time to understand where you and your partner are at right now.

Steps

Evaluating new relationships

Think about how young your relationship is. The early stages of a relationship are characterized by intense infatuation with the person and spending time together. Notice if you still ask your partner about their likes and dislikes? About his hobbies, interests, beliefs? Pay attention to whether you evaluate personal qualities partner to see if you are compatible. You may be evaluating whether you are comfortable enough together to continue this relationship. For example, perhaps you are asking yourself:

• Is this person caring and friendly enough?
• Is my partner bossy and rude?
• Does this person have a habit of constantly getting upset and giving up?
• Is this person fun to be with?

1. Notice how much you focus on your sexual attraction. Think about whether you idealize your partner, do you get excited easily when thinking about him, do you often remember him? If you can't really understand his flaws, chances are you're still in the romantic infatuation stage. You may experience these physical signs of attraction when your partner enters the room:

   • redness;
   • trembling in hands;
   • cardiopalmus;
   • weakness and faintness.

2. Watch out for attempts to impress this person. Ask yourself, are you trying to behave perfectly, are you neglecting some of your habits in order to please this person, are you trying to flatter him and flirt with him? If so, you're likely still in the infatuation stage, where the focus is on making a good impression and strengthening the bond between you. You will be very excited and excited by his attention, so you will try your best not to make a mistake.

   Consider whether you have made a commitment in this relationship. If you spend more and more time together, feel more comfortable with this person, and try to get to know your partner even better, then you are at the rapprochement stage. At this stage, you will find out what this person is really like and also evaluate your compatibility with him on a deeper level. Ask yourself a few questions about your partner:

   • How much does he understand how to comfort and support you?
   • Does he trust you? Is he comfortable being honest with you?
   • Does he respect your family and your friends?
   • Does he understand your sense of humor?

3. Pay attention to your expectations. As your relationship progresses, you and your partner will develop certain expectations of each other. These expectations can vary, so they can affect how long your relationship lasts. If you are more attentive to each other’s expectations and needs, you will be able to move from the infatuation stage to the “post-candy-bouquet” stage, which is closer to true love. Think about the following things:

   • How do you like to spend your free time (with friends or together)?
   • How much alone time do you need?
   • Who pays the bill when you go out together?
   • How much do you need physical contact and touch?

   Assessing existing relationships

   1. Consider whether you accept your partner's shortcomings. Are you aware of this person's shortcomings and quirks? If so, then you are at the stage of true love, in which you no longer look at your partner through rose-colored glasses, but notice things in him or in his behavior that begin to irritate you. It's okay - we all have our own shortcomings. Your partner begins to notice yours too. weak sides. It is important to find out for yourself whether you can come to terms with these shortcomings.

      Observe how you deal with conflict and misunderstandings. Once you start communicating on a more intimate level, you start having arguments and disagreements. If you are ready to compromise and think about your partner and your relationship with him first, then you are moving to the stage of a serious relationship, where mutual understanding comes first. Disagreements are inevitable, but you can learn to facilitate dialogue. For this:

      • listen carefully to each other;
      • do not judge or blame each other;
      • ask for an explanation;
      • paraphrase or repeat some words from your partner to show that you are listening carefully
      • Discuss difficult and painful topics, such as hurt feelings.

   2. Decide on your level of trust. Ask yourself, are you giving each other what you need? The success of building a relationship depends on whether you can trust each other. If you both meet each other halfway and listen to each other's needs instead of getting angry and denying what your partner needs, then you are in the contentment stage. To assess your level of trust, consider whether you can:

      • put yourself in a vulnerable position, share your problems and uncertainty on certain issues with your partner;
      • be willing to understand your partner's feelings;
      • control anger, jealousy or possessiveness.
   3. • Is your partner trying to grow with you?
      • Does he have similar views on family and marriage to yours?
      • Does he want to set goals with you and achieve them?

   4. Pay attention to whether you are ready for life together. During the contentment stage and the cohabitation stage, you will face new challenges and you will need to put your relationship first. You will also realize that you and your partner need to distance yourself from each other sometimes, while at the same time you will work on changes in your lifestyle since you are now a team. At this stage, you will need to discuss new roles and rules regarding:

      • pet establishments;
      • moving or buying a home;
      • weddings or engagements;
      • general finance.

   Assessing how serious a relationship is

   1. Work as a team. Pay attention to whether you continue to make commitments and whether you are loyal to each other. Relationships require constant work and support, even if you know each other well and have been together for a long time. At a more mature stage of love, you will understand that:

      • you count on each other;
      • keep promises;
      • feel comfortable in the new role and with the new responsibilities you have established for each other;
      • Don't be afraid to turn to your partner when you're trying to cope with a situation.

   2. Pay attention to boredom. After you've been at the stage for a while strong relationships, and the romance is almost gone, it's hard to know if you're still happy in this relationship. Think about whether you often feel bored or frustrated about your relationship with your partner. If so, most likely your relationship has become stagnant.

      • Make time for something interesting and fun.
      • Do something active together.
      • Be open to new activities.
      • Do something you both enjoy.
      • Avoid activities that are overly competitive.

   3. Try to anticipate your partner's needs and desires. At the stage of a serious relationship, partners know each other well, so they can predict what each of them may need in difficult times. By taking care of your partner's needs before he asks you to, you can show him love every day.

      • For example, if you know your partner has had a difficult day, cook dinner yourself and get the house in order by the time your partner gets home. If you feel that your girlfriend is having difficulties, give her the opportunity to spend the evening with her friends, let her know that she should not feel guilty for not inviting you to this party. Let her just enjoy her vacation.
      • If you're not sure about what your partner needs, just talk to him. Sit down next to him and ask him what he needs, what he expects from the relationship. Don't interrupt him or make excuses. Then it will be your turn.

   4. Pay attention to whether you are making time for your relationship. If you already have children and/or a job, it will be difficult to maintain healthy, stable and happy relationship due to many other things to do and your new roles. Pay attention to whether you have become busier, whether you have started spending more time with children or work, and spending less time with each other. If this is the case, most likely you have entered a stage of stagnation, then you need to:

7 periods of relationships - what you need to go through © depositphotos.com

When starting any relationship, you don’t want to think about what lies ahead for you with your new boyfriend, but only want to enjoy what you have now. But after some time, you begin to delve into yourself and realize what you can take out of this relationship, and how it will develop further.

Every relationship is different, but it develops approximately the same for all couples. We decided to introduce you a little closer to the periods in relationships that you will definitely have to face.

Perhaps, having understood exactly what period you are in now, you will be able to realize that you are on the right path, and your relationship is only developing and experiencing the stage of another rebirth.

1. Candy-bouquet period.

The period is known to many because it is where everything begins and all couples go through it. Beautiful romance, meeting a person you like. This period often passes without a hitch, which is why it remains the most favorite for most couples.

1. Oversaturation period.

When you are already tired of sweets and bouquets, you begin to get to know your partner better. Appreciate it for the depth of its thoughts, become oversaturated with its emotional components. This period brings the couple incredibly closer to each other.

1. Period of disgust.

The period when all the little things about your loved one begin to irritate you. When disgust arises even from sweet messages, it means that the period of oversaturation has resulted in a new round of development in your relationship.

Only after experiencing a period of disgust can one move to higher levels of relationships.

1. A period of patience.

During this period, couples begin to become wiser, and everyone is more loyal to their partner. Quarrels are no longer so dramatic and there are fewer and fewer conflicts in relationships.

1. Period of respect (First stage of love)

During this period, the couple has serious responsibilities to each other: respect for personal space, for their loved one. It is not for nothing that this period is the first stage of true love.

1. Period of Friendship (Second Stage of Love)

1. The period of true love (Third stage of love)

Few people know about this period, because when they break down halfway, they forget about what they were trying to achieve in the first place. As if the country of Eldorado is entering a period of true love, relaxation and only pleasant memories of what we had to endure in the past.

It is worth noting that the duration of each period is different for an individual couple. It is impossible to say exactly how long the candy-bouquet period should last and when the period of disgust will end. Everything is purely individual and you yourself must come to the distribution of the time barrier.

The transition from one period to another is very difficult for a couple. Such transitions from period to period can be compared with the transition of a student from one class to another, from high school to high school, from college to college.

That is why the peaks of crisis in couples occur during the transition from one period to another. Such transitions give rise to conflicts and sometimes even breaks in relationships.

It is extremely difficult to reach the period of true love, but it is possible if you have patience and appreciate the person with whom you decided to go all the way. Be wiser than circumstances!

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