Every child dreams of something during childhood. As you grow older, dreams begin to turn into goals, form a life path and ultimately lead to something. Agree, it is difficult to imagine such a situation in which a person lives completely without a goal.
But how can you live if you still have no goals? Here the answer is clear - look for her. A stimulus, a goal, is a kind of beacon that illuminates the road along which a person will have to walk throughout his life. At the same time, some remain true to their childhood dreams, adapting them to reality, and do everything possible to make them come true, while others are in search for a long time, trying something new, experimenting and, in the end, also finding their path.
When does the stimulus disappear?
There is nothing worse than when life turns into a quagmire, a swamp that paralyzes the will, killing all desires. The way to and from work, a long-awaited day off watching TV. Vacation once a year and once every six months - a trip to nature. And women have this routine is also intensified by daily household chores.
Is a goal really necessary?
Where can one find a place for incentive in all this bustle? Of course, a happy family life is wonderful, but any self-respecting person cannot dissolve exclusively in the family. The point of a healthy relationship is to organically complement each other without oppressing each other. In this regard, even being an exemplary spouse and caring parent, it is necessary to find time to create personal space.
Of course, you can do without incentives for a short time, but a seeking person in such a situation will go crazy from hopelessness. In this regard, it is always necessary strive for something. Thus, a common mistake of many people is the reluctance to do anything due to age. It is believed that the older you get, the fewer prospects you have. Of course this is wrong!
Man by nature is a dynamic being. Otherwise, humanity would still be living in caves and eating raw meat. Our civilization developed precisely thanks to someone's incentives.
Find incentive
In order to gain incentive It is not necessary to invent something global, discover new lands or change the world for the better - it is enough to find your place in the sun and your favorite thing to do. Even if it’s banal weaving baubles or cultivating cacti - but only if you get real pleasure from it, feel deep moral satisfaction and are ready to do it for hours, improving all the time. Believe me, there is nothing better than something that takes time flies by unnoticed.
In addition, the desire to lose weight, travel, learn three languages – whatever! Moreover, the search for a stimulus itself is already a stimulus. The road is born under the steps of the walker.
The problem of lack of motivation and any vital energy, which is the engine of success and progress in a person’s life, occurs very often and almost everywhere. A person lives without understanding why, without meaning, life goals and strength, all this is directly reflected in the lack of interest in life, the desire to live and any progress and dynamics in the life of such a person.
What is the problem?
This problem can have many origins; it may also be associated with some temporary difficulties and failures of a person that have reduced the level and quality of his life. The source can also be the family in which the child was raised.
This large-scale and all-encompassing problem most often occurs among people who were raised in single-parent families, whose childhood passed without the participation of the male, paternal, and even sometimes maternal components. All this is due to the fact that the direct role of the father in the family and raising a child is to lay in the mind of a small child, from childhood, such concepts as self-realization, success and determination. Only the male component can bring the most objective and complete information about these moments into a child’s life.
Also watch the webinar “Instincts, Masculinity and Motivation” by Denis Burkhaev.
The problem of "fatherlessness"
The problem of fatherlessness or the too formal presence of a father in the life of the younger generation creates a systematic and extensive error in a person’s consciousness and his development as a person. Demotivation intensifies under maternal influence; assault and moral oppression are often used. Personal attitudes are “crushed” and a new component is installed in this empty place, which over time replaces the child’s personal component. And often this is done absolutely consciously. Emotions such as shame, fear, pity and guilt are invested in the child’s subconscious. These emotions destroy, erase and destroy the personal component of a person; there is no need to talk about motivation and goal setting here. Boys mainly experience a “demolition” of such an attitude as masculinity.
As a result of this destructive process, the following phenomena occur:
- A man feels inferior, unlike others;
- The level of male hormones decreases under the influence of the psychological component;
- Psychological depression of the individual, destruction of many psychological attitudes characteristic of men, suppression of instincts.
The consequences of these processes are serious disturbances in the psychological and physical state of a person, frustration sets in, constant and prolonged depression, which cannot but affect the lack of motivation in a person’s life and the conviction of the futility of one’s own life.
Life without incentive is very sad. Without an incentive, you don’t even want to get up in the morning, because you definitely need to wake up in a good mood and with grandiose plans for the day. How to live if there is no incentive? It’s a difficult question, no matter what you say, but you can look for the answer. First of all, it’s worth figuring out where this incentive went and what actually happened. Because the nature of his absence may be different. And therefore, solving the problem on the topic “how to live?” will also be different.
Option 1. You have already achieved everything: stable financial situation, prestigious job, respect and recognition of colleagues, strong family and wonderful children. And now, when all this is there, you are incredibly bored, it seems that all your achievements are already behind you, and there is no incentive to set new goals.What can you advise in this case? The first thing is not to anger fate and do not forget to thank it every day for the fact that you have all this. This is the most important thing.
And to add some spice to your life, find an extreme sport that you like and will add fresh impressions. If you have never jumped with a parachute, do it. Or go to exotic countries - travel often brings good thoughts and interesting ideas.
Think of some truly large-scale project that will captivate you - and the incentive will appear. Or engage in charity, but not at the level of “giving money” (although this is not bad) – but in a volunteer way: come and help people who are less fortunate than you. So you will do a good deed, and remember how much has been given to you, and how much you can.
Option 2. A loss. Very often, “no incentive” means that some very important person has disappeared from your life. This could be a loved one with whom you recently broke up, a child who entered a university in another city, or got married and left his father’s home. At such moments, it often seems that something in life has ended forever (however, it is) and this new life no longer has much meaning (but this is not true).
Now is the time to remember that the main person in your life is still you. It is difficult to come to terms with children leaving your family for some time, especially if all these years you have lived with their problems and needs and completely forgotten about your own. Well, it's time to remember them. Go to friends you haven’t seen for a long time because they live far away, sign up for oriental dancing, yoga or bead weaving courses, plan to improve your summer cottage - start doing things you didn’t have time for before.
If sadness has overcome you because of a breakup with a loved one, find the strength in yourself to start working on yourself. This is a common story - after breaking up with her loved one, out of grief and despair, a girl goes to shaping, English courses and to hairdressers. And now, a year later, she has an ideal figure, fluent English, a favorite job and - yes, yes! - a new lover. The ex, of course, would like to return, but who cares now - after all, his role in her life was completely different. The main thing is not to lose heart, and you will definitely find an incentive.
Option 3. Pension. Everything is clear here - a very difficult time. Just yesterday you were an indispensable specialist, and today, after the solemn words and the presentation of the vase, you already seem to be a free person. But somehow this freedom is not fun. And, what’s also unpleasant, it’s not monetary at all.
First of all, remember all your past achievements. But not in order to once again voice them to your loved ones, but in order to believe that everything will work out for you, no matter what you plan. Agree, you are not setting new goals and objectives now only because you are afraid that achieving them will not be easy. And completely in vain. It's never too late to start over, especially now that you have so much free time. And it’s very sad to live if there is no incentive - so it’s time to find it. Just look around and you will see a lot of opportunities. Of course, as soon as you stop insisting that they don’t exist.
Option 4. It only seems to you. And this also happens - autumn or spring, blues or vitamin deficiency. The mood is so-so, and it seems that nothing makes you happy anymore. So no. Try, firstly, to take a course of good multivitamins, and secondly, take an inventory of everything that is valuable and important in your life. From your best friend and plans for the summer to your favorite sofa and cat. Have no doubt, a bad mood is temporary, and life is full of interesting and important things.
How to live if there is no incentive? Sad question. Where it comes from is a separate extensive topic, we will not touch on it, but will simply try to answer the question posed.
Needless to say, this is not an easy question. Where can you get incentive if you simply don’t want to live? And yet. Where can I start? First of all, where did he, our dear, go? And to do this, whatever one may say, you will have to dig into the reasons - what, in fact, happened, as a result of which the incentive disappeared somewhere. After all, the nature of the reason may be different, and therefore the solution to the problem called “how to live?” Same. Let's look at the various most common options.
Collapse of personal life, loss. Everything here is ambiguous. It is clear that the loss of a loved one, separation or separation from him is an incredibly difficult situation. And to survive it requires strength, considerable strength. It is not without reason that because of failures in love, people took the most extreme measures - murder and suicide. But such actions also require strength and courage. An ordinary person with average psychological data and normal moral and ethical guidelines will never take such measures, and there is no point in it at all. But what to do - life without a loved one has become hard labor in the literal sense.
In such a situation, the usual advice is to take care of yourself. Well, yes, it’s easy to give advice, but if you don’t have the strength to do anything, if you lie stupidly on the sofa, with your nose buried in the wall, and think, think, think... It’s a difficult case. Smart books can help someone. We can recommend reading unusual philosophical treatises such as Osho’s books. In such cases, he offers one recipe - awareness. Be aware of yourself here and now, separate yourself from the past and from the future, become aware of your thoughts, emotions and your body and look at this whole economy from the outside. Another author, Vadim Zeland, in his “Transurfing” suggests the same thing - to step off the stage into the auditorium, turn from a participant in events into a spectator and simply observe, note. This helps to bear pain and suffering for a while. And then time will take over.
Everything has been achieved, there is nothing to wish for
It seems that I got everything I wanted in this life: a prestigious job, a stable position in society and in financial affairs, a normal family, children. And it seems that there is no point in living further, because there are no new goals. In such cases, you should realize that you are lucky, and angering God, as they say, is a great sin. And in order to have an incentive, you can remember the soul - this is a win-win option. There is no limit to improvement in this regard. Reading relevant literature is both a goal, an activity, and a source of stimulation. The mass of accessible literature on eastern spiritual practices will sober up anyone who is “overindulged.” Not to mention the fact that you can get involved in charity work, interesting sports, and travel. And don’t forget how much you have been given in this life.
A pensioner is waste material that no one needs. This, excuse me, is complete nonsense. A person gets what he believes in. If he knows how to do something well, he will find a use for himself. Of course, it’s hard to realize that you are a pensioner, especially in Russia, but to be honest, the state really doesn’t need pensioners in our society. But people need people.
In addition, many people, having retired, think : That’s it, I can’t learn anything - my brains are not the same, and no one needs my knowledge. It is not true. You can always learn new things. By the way, this is what you need to do in order to train your brain and not get Alzheimer’s in the future. And it's never too late to start over, never! If you want to know, the Slavic-Aryan Vedas say that the circle of years of life is 144 years, and in light of this, 55-60 years is the beginning of maturity. Look around and start your life again, especially since you have a lot of time now.
It seems to you. Spring exacerbation, autumn blues, hibernation - everyone is familiar with these expressions. Sometimes it just seems to us that there is no incentive, but time passes, summer comes, and life takes on new colors. The main thing is not to fall into despair or despondency. Don’t allow yourself this mediocre luxury, life doesn’t end today, and it will still happen.
WHAT ARE THE REASONS FOR THE DIAGNOSIS - HOW TO LIVE IF THERE IS NO STIMULUS?
Those who have died morally, are mentally exhausted, there may be two reasons, subjective and objective.
1) Subjective - the mental strength has run out.
This is a completely natural effect if, for example, you put your soul into your work; there are many such positions. A good level of responsibility also implies this. That is, you approach your personal and work affairs responsibly, you worry about them, in this case, of course, some kind of internal wear and tear occurs. But if the job is done well, it brings pleasure and some replenishment. However, there are also enough work tasks that require a lot of time, months, years, to complete. Then it turns out that you invest fully and regularly, but at the end you don’t get anything in return. This is, of course, a thankless job in a good way, but the goal is apparently big, and the result will be thorough. In this case, as I already said, you can replenish your mental strength in nature. In addition, you can take a creative basis for further work from nature; some ideas will come to your mind precisely from observation, and not from another brainstorming session.
2) Objective loss of incentive - when any undertaking does not even have anything to contribute to.
I know that I’m ready to work, and I’m confident in my abilities, but it feels like I don’t need it. Here we have a lack of incentive, because there is nowhere to apply it. I think you are able to look into yourself and figure out what the diagnosis is in your case. The problem of the lack of a stimulus application point is a more fundamental issue. The answer to it will have an impact on the rest of your life. It doesn’t just mean what you will do over the next years, it already means that you will become a different person. After all, if you start doing something differently and do it all the time, then you have become different. Think about it.
WHAT TO DO IF THERE IS NO STIMULUS IN LIFE BECAUSE THERE IS NO WHERE TO APPLY IT?
There are two options.
1) Find the global point of application of the stimulus.
2) Abandon the “stimulus gives life” model, start using the “I and the stimulus are one whole” model.
If the first option can be compared to refilling a car with gasoline until the tank is full, then the second option is a car that drives without gasoline and without an engine. She runs on internal energy. That is, movement for such a machine is its internal property, its essence. Like the property of the sun to glow. Like the property of a ball to roll. You too can become such a person. Tempting, isn't it? :-) Yeah cool. It just seems that after reading this article I will forever become cheerful, cheerful and I will never need any external stimulus for my life :-)
HOW TO BECOME A STIMULUS FOR YOUR OWN LIFE? DEFINITION.
Is it even possible? Perhaps and how! Do you think that all the best things created on Earth were done on orders from above? I will assume that the most perfect thing that was done by man on Earth was done for personal reasons, simply because that’s what the man himself wanted. To put it even more precisely, this was done by this person because that’s how he is made. It would be fair to say about any work, about any business, that it bears part of the personality of the performer himself. Hue. A person can be hardworking, or he can be lazy. The product of one will be of high quality, while the other will have only formal packaging. There is also something else. Different people's products will have different characters. Today you can already hear: a car has a character, a telephone has a character, and something like that. Some are closer to the Germans, some are closer to the Japanese, and some are Russian :-) So or not? So, by acquiring an internal source of energy and stimulus, you also acquire your individual part of your personality, you complete your character. The results of your activities, and indeed your life in general, will have not just a quality, it will become better or worse, your life will acquire a certain color characteristic of your personality. This may not be determined right away, but over time you will see the difference in how you worked before and how you work now, with the same degree of activity in this work. It’s hard to describe, it’s a very subtle moment. In everyday life in a standard office, in a standard apartment, at the 1st, 2nd, 153rd plant named after. Lenin, in a chain restaurant or store you can hardly notice him. But it is there. Decide for yourself what you want to do: fill the tank full or change yourself. Let's continue for the second option.
I HAVE NO STIMULUS TO LIVE, BUT I WANT TO FIND IT. WHAT TO DO?
Essentially, finding this stimulus within yourself means getting to know yourself. You want to live, you want to feel normal both in health and morale. Do you want it or not? Well, it’s probably hard not to want to live. Either you want to live or you want to die. Borderline state - I don’t care at all))))
1) Give yourself permission to change.
At first glance, a certain selfish practicality of such a decision strikes the eye. In some ways it feels as if you can’t do this, it’s not allowed. This is a soul, can I just take today, sit with it tomorrow and become forever a different person with a life one step better than it was yesterday?.. It’s kind of scary... But I believe that everyone has a complete 100% the right to do whatever you want with your soul and no matter how Life itself (or your Conscience) reacts to it. I mean this literally. Many people, very many, are convinced that for a normal life one must constantly, a lot and persistently work tirelessly. And if you don’t have an incentive to live, it means that you don’t deserve it before Life. At best, Life only allows you to refuel for a couple of years with motivation, an incentive to live and nothing more. But don't you have the right to make your life much better? Of course you have the right! There's no need to even argue here. If you can make your life better, then you have the right to change yourself as you want.
2) Mentally prepare to become a little different (or different).
I understand that this is somehow unusual. It’s one thing to rearrange furniture in an apartment, but here we’re talking about the inner world that needs to be rebuilt. This is not a stack of bricks, I took it and rearranged it. Yes, not a stack of bricks, but don't say people can't change with time. There is probably a specific example in your memory from life. Since a person has changed, then you can too. I’ll tell you how to do this now. Well, we focus on the fact that you want to find incentive within yourself.
WHAT IS INTERNAL STIMULUS?
So what should you do? Can I really live without external stimulus? Internal stimulus is a property of your character. This is a property of your personality. For example, you are joyful not because everything in your life is good, but because you are such a person. Well, not necessarily just eternally joyful, well, maybe at least eternally cheerful.
1) The weak link in the external stimulus of life.
Are you always cheerful? Well, ummm, it depends on the mood, the weather, work and a bunch of other things. That is, to make you sad, all I have to do is fire you from work, ruin your mood and make the weather bad? And what do I have to do with this, doesn’t this happen in life? Have you ever been unemployed? Personally, I don’t like this scheme that my mood should depend on a bunch of factors independent of me. That is, my mood can chatter through life like a rag. And I will always be cheerful only because I want it so. It is always nice to have a certain degree of independence and freedom. Well, get it! Do you want an incentive to live? What is life for you? Life activity. That is, you want to have an incentive to live from within; you can simplify it and say to activity. I want to have an incentive inside me to act. What do you want to do? Don’t think, this is a question not for the head, but for the heart. The fact that everyone would not mind becoming rich is understandable. I am not answering the question here about what you want to do to become rich. What do you want to do? Who do you want to be? I want to be a sixth-class fitter. A good desire, the main thing is that it comes from the heart. This person will be the best you know in the business. And you? Who to be? Take a look at your place, it’s been there for a long time, since childhood, you’ve always wanted it, but were afraid to say it. It’s hard to say even to yourself, let alone friends and acquaintances. But, at least now, if you tell yourself this, no one will judge you or laugh at you. Even if you say it, this does not oblige you to immediately take action and begin to zealously bring it to life. So dig in. You cannot be a person who doesn’t like anything at all, who has no soul for anything at all.
2) Universal internal stimulus of life.
Who do you want to be? Do you want to be a man? Or maybe you want to become a woman? I'm not talking about the body, I'm talking about the state of mind. Well, I'm already a man. Nooo, there is a difference between having a primary sexual characteristic and being a real man. If everything were so simple, there would not be so many unhappy wives. And vice versa, this can also be said about women. Well, are you a real man? Are you a perfect woman? Are you proud of yourself? Wow, what perfection if they are looking for an incentive to live here. What pride if I can’t bring myself to get out of bed at least at three o’clock in the afternoon. So first, try to come to a decision to become the brightest representative of your gender. :-) There is definitely nothing bad in this, and you will get a huge amount of advantages. And this is a universal answer for everyone. Become a more beautiful woman than you were yesterday, become a more courageous guy than you were today. Super! I already want it myself! :-) Forward!
Living life is not a field to cross. The proverb is old, but it fully reflects the state of modern man looking back. Without the past there is no future. And the whole past is already in your head. Just work with it like a craftsman would with a piece of clay. Pay special attention to those moments that had a key impact on the further course of events throughout your life. Remember the incidents that changed you. Perhaps there were people who changed you. Here is a map of how to live if there is no incentive, but you will have to follow this map yourself. After all, even if this were the best article in the world, you still bear responsibility for your life, be it with or without incentive. I wish you to learn to enjoy such responsibility!
