"Hi, how are you?".
"Did you get my message?".
"I do not understand what is going on. Reply as soon as you receive this message!”
“Okay, I understand. Bye".
We've all experienced the uncomfortable silence of someone we like or would like to be in a relationship with.
You sent him a message or SMS and are sure that he read it (damn technology), but there is still no response. Panic seizes you, and your friends witness your despair.
Why don't men respond to messages?
First, you need to realize that men approach communication (and especially written messages) differently. Women tend to exaggerate the importance of this means of communication, believing that it clearly demonstrates our attention and interest. Men, on the other hand, don't view texts or other small messages as a barometer of a relationship.
But don't despair, there are still several possible explanations. Here are the 10 most plausible reasons for silence!
1. He prefers face-to-face communication
The man doesn't answer right away because he knows it will lead to a conversation and he doesn't want to start a text chat. Or he just doesn't like texting and prefers a real face-to-face conversation instead of trying to figure out the meaning of your emojis. Hence his laconic answers (if any).
2. He doesn't really know what he wants at the moment, so he's avoiding you.
You texted all day long for a week and suddenly there was dead silence. In fact, he may feel some pressure from you because he understands that things are moving quickly and he needs to make a decision about a possible relationship. In short, he does not yet know what he wants and therefore prefers to remain neutral.
3. He's testing you to see if you're really interested in him.
We are not alone in wanting to feel like “prey”; men also love to play cat and mouse. If he feels that you are not too interested in him or show little initiative, he may try to revive his interest by playing the silent game.
4. He is (really) busy
He saw the message, but after work he was caught up in the whirlpool of meetings and events and therefore will respond late at night or the next day. Have patience!
5. He is offended by something
Try to remember if you may have said or done something offensive. Men are not very good at expressing what they feel and prefer the easy way out - ignoring them. Give it time to cool down!
6. He loves to conquer a woman
Perhaps this man loves to conquer, and in your case he feels that everything has been won in advance. In other words, don't chase him, but play and maintain some mystery.
7. He doesn't want a serious relationship and is trying to make you understand it.
If you spent the night together and it seems to you that this is the beginning of a serious relationship, then this is not at all in his plans. By responding to messages, a man will give false hope, which is why he chooses the strategy of silence, believing that this is more eloquent than any words.
8. He is not free
It's sad, but at least it won't hurt your ego as much. The other girl turned out to be more fortunate, being earlier than you at the right time and in the right place. If a man periodically appears from time to time and offers to meet, we can conclude that he often takes walks. Do you need this kind of relationship?
9. He is no longer interested in you.
Yes, it's terrible, but sometimes it's the simplest explanation. If you feel that the relationship cannot be returned, the best thing you can do is delete his number and move on. Brace yourself, it happens to everyone!
10. He thinks his silence will signal your breakup.
Even worse than being dumped via text is being dumped by not texting. People's cowardice sometimes reaches unprecedented heights simply because it is easier for them! They know very well that a ton of explanation will be required and that they will have no arguments. And silence seems to be the best solution, because this way they will avoid scandals and tears.
Psychology of relationships
In fact, men know how annoying it is for women when they don't respond to their messages. And here is their truth, why they do this:
1. He is afraid of endless correspondence.
It's no secret that women love texting more than men. Sometimes he just doesn't want the correspondence that might follow if he answers her. He doesn't want to start because it will be harder to stop later.
2. He's trying to teach you a lesson.
No offense, but women don’t always answer right away either. If you are to blame for this, then he may simply do the same in retaliation. A little childish, but that's how it goes sometimes.
3. He doesn't want to hurt your feelings.
Do you really want him to give you a twist in person or by writing it in a message? Sometimes he thinks it's better to just stop answering. And although you shouldn’t immediately think that he abandoned you if he doesn’t answer, this is quite possible.
4. You are too intrusive.
Maybe you're rushing the relationship too much. Maybe you think that he is ready to be your boyfriend, although you were just talking in a friendly way. If a woman is too intrusive, most men will be put off. In this case, he will simply ignore your messages. It's immature and not the best way to handle the situation, but sometimes he wants to slow you down so bad.
5. You didn't understand that it was for one night.
Even if you exchanged numbers, if he thinks it was a one-night stand, he won't respond to your text the next day. It's a shame you thought there could be something more.
6. He wants to pretend like nothing happened between you.
If he doesn't like what you wrote in the message, he can pretend he never received it. If you ask about it later, he may say that he simply did not receive such a message or accidentally deleted everything. In 90% of cases this is a lie.
7. You write to him too often.
Simply because men don’t like to text as much as women. It is not necessary that he wants to break up with you because of this, but he simply limits your correspondence, not always answering you.
8. Your message consisted only of emoticons.
Most men simply don't know what all these emojis mean. And if he does not understand the meaning of the message, then he will not respond to it.
9. He is not confident in you.
And this is his way of arousing your interest. He may not answer on purpose to make you nervous. Yes, men do this too.
10. He is busy.
This is the simplest and most common explanation. He has a job, hobbies, friends, family, and many other things to do. He doesn't wait for your message 24 hours a day. And if he doesn’t answer, then there is often no reason to be angry - just be patient.
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Hello dear readers of the Samprosvetbyulleten blog!
“I don’t like writing SMS to a man. I don’t understand at all why a man doesn’t call, but sends messages, isn’t it easier to just dial the number, we’re not teenagers to play these games! I have to play along, come up with answers, although I don’t like this kind of communication with a man,”- writes Irina.
“How to write SMS to a man correctly, how to understand where the line is between interest and obsession. At the beginning of dating, a woman’s confidence is tested, because everything is still uncertain. This is the second time we have had a fight in the format of SMS communication, because he does not answer immediately, he can answer in a few hours or the next day! I get emotional, I get excited, I can’t stop. I understand that arguing with a loved one over SMS is stupid, but it’s not always possible to be reasonable.”, writes Olga.
Now exchanging SMS or chat messages has become one of the ways to flirt at a distance. With the help of modern technologies, you can take a break from your daily routine and bring a little humor and flirtation into your life. Of course, flirting via SMS is a little like a game, but remember that attraction does not obey the laws of logic, it is irrational and requires free creative space for development.
Men and women differ in their approach to communicating via SMS. Exchanging SMS for a man is more of a way to be effective and achieve a goal. For women, it is mainly a way to feel connected to others.
Men love technology, modern technology and women, and communication via SMS brings it all together, which is why many men like to flirt in messages. A man is busy with his favorite toy, and even enjoys communicating with a woman.
But until you know the person well, you should exercise reasonable caution. For some men, SMS is like an exciting computer game. It seems that you can press a few buttons and the woman will already be on your doorstep. This intoxicates the man, and like a video game, he strives to move to the next level.
When communicating via SMS there is always a fine line between showing interest and intrusiveness.
The woman crossed this line when:
- she is the first to write to a man every day to check that he is interested in her;
- anxiously awaits his answer, constantly looking at his phone, disconnecting from reality;
- worries and loses self-control if he does not answer for too long;
- without waiting for an answer, he begins to send him additional messages with question marks.
If the above applies to you, then it will be useful to establish for yourself certain techniques for communicating via SMS with the opposite sex and try to adhere to them.
Do not forget that from the first moment of communication, by your behavior you establish the structure of a possible relationship with a man. When you constantly write first just to say hi to a man, to remind him of yourself, to check what else he thinks about you, you take all the initiative upon yourself. You create a relationship structure where the man can just relax and enjoy, and you should try to entertain him. If you are looking for a balanced, harmonious relationship, give your man more free space, give him the opportunity to show his masculine qualities and look after you.
I sometimes have to deal with stories of conflicts and breakups that occurred solely over SMS. If you use this form of communication incorrectly, it can cause an argument.
It is very easy to distort the meaning of a text, which in direct communication may sound like a harmless joke, but in text form, without emphasizing the meaning with the help of voice intonation and a smile, can be perceived negatively. Research shows that we filter messages through the lens of our past experiences and can distort their actual meaning. Don't have serious discussions over text, especially when you're frustrated, upset, or angry. Postpone the discussion until the actual live conversation.
Of course, you can succumb to emotions, send offensive SMS, start attacks. Chances are you won't get any response and will feel like you're talking to a wall. This will upset you even more and your negative reaction will increase. You will write something else offensive. Then it may turn out that the man had an important reason for not answering right away; he could be driving or busy. You will find yourself in an even worse position than you were in the beginning and will also feel stupid.
Avoid such complications from the very beginning. Don’t start quarrels, don’t sort things out, don’t break up via SMS - this is immature childish behavior.
For those who have difficulties with self-discipline, I give the task: copy your messages, and then re-read them in a calm state, mentally putting yourself in the place of the man to whom they were sent. With the permission of the author, I will give an example of an SMS quarrel out of nowhere. Read and tell me whether such texts will inspire a man to develop an acquaintance and court a woman.
Source:
SMS to a man at the beginning of dating
Hello dear readers of the Samprosvetbyulleten blog! “I don’t like writing SMS to a man. I don’t understand at all why the man doesn’t call, but sends messages,
http://dating-zamuzh.ru/blog/znakomstva-s-muzhchinami/sms-muzhchine.html
If a man doesn't respond to messages
What to do if a man does not respond to messages? Let us accept as a condition of the problem that you do not send him an SMS in the style of “Musik! The goose is ready!” during working hours, you don’t write to him 10 times a day and don’t bombard him with spam with kittens and hearts. But you are in love and still want to receive periodic confirmation that the object of your love is also interested in you. What could be the reasons for his silence?
Are you kidding? You're not schoolchildren, are you? Even if we assume that the money has really run out, then, having seen an SMS from the woman he loves, he can, for example:
- top up your account via Internet banking or go to the nearest terminal;
- order services on credit from a mobile operator;
- use the phone of a friend or colleague;
- call a landline phone;
- send the so-called “homeless” (then we would laugh together).
If a man is not currently on a desert island, has not gone hiking high in the mountains, or has not gone on a polar expedition, then he CAN call you back or send you a short message. And the only explanation for his silence is that he doesn’t want to.
Trivial busyness may be the reason why a man does not respond to SMS. How to behave in this case depends on how long he doesn’t call or write to you. You're lucky if your boyfriend is passionate about what he does. Believe me, he really has no time to exchange emoticons with you. He may be at an important meeting or meeting. He might be driving. Or the office is noisy, and he simply did not hear the beep. For men, romantic relationships are not at the top of their life priorities. Maybe you should learn this from them?
It’s another matter if your chosen one has been silent for a couple of days. Then don’t have any illusions - being busy has nothing to do with it. No matter how important the project is, there is always a minute to write a few words during a smoke break, over lunch or before bed: “Hello! I remember about you...” If your place in his heart is somewhere between Counter-Strike and a Friday glass of beer, then don’t waste your precious time on him - he just doesn’t like you.
If I really like you, I will never forget about you.
Greg Behrendt, Liz Tuccillo "He Just Doesn't Like You: The Truth About Men"
Sometimes, if some cooling occurs, it makes sense to think about whether you have gone too far. Remember if you fantasized about the future? About the house, children or even just a joint vacation next summer? There are men who are very, very afraid of serious relationships. There are several most striking types:
Indecisive. He often has an overbearing mother. He himself is not able to make a choice. He cannot decide to change jobs or apartments. He is afraid of any news, even good ones, and does not like surprises. Such a man is not able to repel a boor. With such a man by your side, you will always be forced to make strategic decisions that are important for your family. It is you who will plan romantic trips. You will advise, guide and support so that your loved one has a good career. If this family model is close to you, then a timid, indecisive man is what you need. Therefore, take the initiative into your own hands right now, do not wait for a response to a message, but simply call and make an appointment.
He is in love and this feeling is new to him. This is the most “favorite” reason for a guy’s silence for romantic young ladies. Rarely, but it happens. He feels that he ceases to be the master of his thoughts and feelings, and no longer manages his time independently. This frightens him somewhat, since his life before meeting you was simple, predictable and pleasant. In this case, just wait. Do not insist on frequent meetings, do not stay overnight, do not leave any objects in his apartment. He will calm down, get used to it, and then hook him.
He is subject to outside influence. Often their friends have enormous influence on our men. What is many times worse is the mother. There is no cure for this. All you can do is just sincerely try to please. If his company accepts you, and your mother becomes your accomplice in a good sense, then that’s it, he’s in our pocket.
Although the most common reason for the lack of calls or response to a message, unfortunately, is still the same - he just doesn’t like you.
Yesterday I spent the night with a guy, today he doesn’t call me. Option one: he died. Option two: he didn’t like me in bed. It would be better if he, the bastard, died.
It would seem that the date went well, but for some reason after it the guy disappeared from the horizon, does not call, and does not respond to your SMS. There could be many reasons for this.
You seemed too complicated, “stuffy” to him. He may have just wanted to eat a good steak in a pleasant company, and you started a song about marriage, children, responsibility, a scoundrel ex-husband or an apartment with a mortgage.
He got what he wanted and has no plans to repeat it. Well, you understand... You might be interested in the article How to surprise a man in sex.
He re-read Pushkin and really believes that “the less we love a woman, the easier it is for her to like us.” In this case, we have a vulgar manipulator. Read more about them in the article A man is a manipulator in a relationship: how to recognize a tyrant?
He doesn't remember who you are. You will laugh, but this happens often. Have you ever met someone in nightclubs? Do you often go there when you’re not “tipsy”? So he forgot your name and under what circumstances he got a new contact in his phone.
He just doesn't know yet when he'll have time to see you again. It's a rare man who likes to call or write just like that. They call to exchange information and schedule a meeting at a specific time. In the meantime, he has nothing substantive to say, so he doesn’t call.
And, whatever one may say, it all comes down to the fact that he doesn’t really like you. You deserve to be looked after, to be sought after, so that they sincerely want to call you theirs. Stop hypnotizing your phone and move on to a new meeting!
Offended, hiding something, thinking about someone else, plotting something, or... OUT OF LOVE?
Of course, theoretically, everything is possible, but the main reason for his silence is completely different: in the peculiarities of the male worldview and his psychology.
After all, how is a woman made? She needs to say everything, discuss everything, “live” all the emotions in conversation. If she is silent, it means something is definitely wrong. As in the joke: “Honey, are you offended? - No! - strongly? - Yes". It's different for men.
As a rule, men are generally taciturn. Business and purposeful - even more so. They prefer to act rather than philosophize, and speak only to the point.
This is why they are chosen and respected. If you really want to talk about the weather, tell in detail how your day went and discuss Britney Spears' new haircut, go to a friend, not a man.
Talk to your mom, your cat, but not your man.
Conversations with a man need to be filtered and dosed. Otherwise, due to information overload, he will simply stop perceiving everything you say.
Not because he is bad and doesn't love you. The male brain is designed this way.
I have already talked about the “secret” technique “one mouth, two ears”: the best strategy in a conversation with a man is to listen more, talk less and ask
Then you will be the best interlocutor for him. Especially if it's your first date.
You have nothing to talk about
Very often silence comes into relationships where the man and woman have nothing to say.
If at the same time sex begins to happen much less often, and communication comes down to “hello-bye” and “buy tomatoes, pasta, toilet paper” - you have problems.
A man uses silence tactics when they nag him at home and find fault with him.
He doesn’t want to receive a negative reaction, so he simply remains silent (by the way, this is the same reason why men lie). Then this is a reason to sit down and finally talk about what's going on and how you feel in your relationship.
This silence can become a point of no return, when there is nothing left to improve.
The basis of a strong long-term relationship is emotional intimacy and... And to maintain them, you need to work on yourself and on relationships. No options.
I believe in you,
Yaroslav Samoilov.
Often it is the man who initiates such silence. A woman quickly gets used to regular SMS with wishes for a dear morning or good night. Having sent the message again, she may not receive anything in response. How to behave in such a situation?
1. Firstly, do not panic ahead of time. Perhaps your boyfriend simply ran out of money on his phone or has not yet seen the message. If you receive a delivery report, then you need to wait a while, and not start writing endless SMS to it. Such obsessive behavior will push the man away and his desire to respond to you will disappear completely. Think about the fact that during working hours it is quite difficult for him to concentrate on two actions at the same time. This is the essence of male psychology. The reason why you don’t receive a response to an SMS could be because you’re simply busy at work.
2. Secondly, if you are an emotional person, then calling immediately and sorting things out will not be the best way out of this situation. Men do not tolerate hysterical women, so you will only worsen his attitude towards you. It is better to wait for the meeting and find out everything frankly and calmly. But such a conversation is possible only if there are deep and sincere feelings for each other. At the same time, do not be afraid to take the first step that will contribute to the correct construction of further relationships. Analyze your behavior the day before, as a woman can easily offend and quickly forget about it. Perhaps your man harbors a grudge and therefore does not respond to SMS. He can also check in this way how serious you are about him.
Reasons for the pause
If the silence lasts for several days: this is an alarming sign. Obviously, the man decided to take a break from the relationship or break up completely. The first option is less harmful for you, since in such a situation it's worth giving a chance to think. After some time, he will definitely call and explain his behavior if he really has serious intentions. A woman is prone to making quick emotional decisions, but for a man the opposite is often true. He needs twice as much time in order to adequately assess the situation and make a final decision.
You will intuitively feel if a man decided to end the relationship in such an unpleasant way as ignoring him. In this case no need to get upset or worry, since this is unworthy behavior for a real man. Draw objective conclusions from the current situation.
The periodic repetition of abrupt termination of relationships with many men may indicate that the problem is your character. First, try to absolutely rationally analyze your behavior at different stages of the relationship. It will be useful to consult with relatives and close people, as they will be able to help with irreplaceable advice. If you think that the reason for the silence is not in you, feel free to delete such a man from your life. Don't let him disrespect you.
