Chapter 8. Peculiarities of behavior of men and women
You will learn from this chapter about the characteristics of the behavior of men and women in different circumstances, for example, in conflicts and frustrating situations, what strategies men and women have for overcoming difficult life situations, what methods of psychological defense they use, what are the attitudes of men and women on relationships with the outside world, how men and women distribute their time budget, what role fashion plays in the lives of men and women, what addictions are typical for representatives of both sexes, which of them more often displays deviant and criminal behavior.
8.1. Behavioral strategies of men and women in various life situations
Behavior of men and women in conflict and frustrating situations. Women cope worse with emotional problems and emerging difficulties, and experience family and personal conflicts more strongly (R. A. Berezovskaya, 2001; I. V. Groshev, 1996).
S. Noelen-Hoeksema (1990) showed that women, when feeling depressed, tend to think about the possible causes of their condition. This overthinking response leads to an obsessive focus on the problem and increases a woman's vulnerability to the stressor. Men, on the contrary, try to isolate themselves from depressive emotions by concentrating on something else, for example, doing physical activity, in order to defuse the negative tension that has arisen.
I.V. Groshev (1996) also revealed that men and women resolve conflict situations that arise in the family and home circle differently. Women show more tolerance and desire for a compromise reconciliation of interests. Men in this situation more often resort to “strong” expressions and curses, while women are more likely to cry.
M. A. Kruglova (1999), studying behavioral strategies for psychological protection, revealed that in women the gap between the three types of strategy (avoidance, aggression and peacefulness) is minimal, while in men there is either avoidance (the desire to escape from the conflict) , or aggression. Their love of peace is much less pronounced than that of women.
According to I.M. Nikolskaya (2001), who compared the coping strategies of boys and girls in grades 1–5 in difficult and unpleasant situations, boys are 2 times more likely than girls to turn to the strategy “I fight, I fight” and 1.5 times more often - to the “teasing someone” strategy. Thus, these data confirm that boys are more likely to resort to strategies associated with the manifestation of aggression. Girls are significantly more likely than boys to use the strategies “hug, press, stroke”, “cry, feel sad”. This indicates their O a greater need for close affection, for emotional release through tears and pity for oneself and others, to the difficulties of self-disclosure.
Somewhat different data were obtained by Yu. M. Chuikova (2001): when overcoming conflicts, competition and especially compromise are more pronounced in men than in women, while adaptation and cooperation are more pronounced in women. The avoidance strategy, according to her data, was expressed equally in men and women.
During a quarrel, as I.V. Groshev notes, women more often remember old sins and mistakes made by their spouse in the past. Men stick more to the problem that caused the quarrel.
When resolving conflicts, women are more oriented towards the opinions of others, which is explained, according to I.V. Groshev, by their greater conformity. Hence, when resolving a conflict with the participation of women, the role of a mediator is great. Therefore, writes R. A. Berezovskaya, women more often turn to other people, psychologists, doctors, psychotherapists for help, trying to relieve mental stress through conversation. At the same time, as shown by I.V. Groshev, men choose an intermediary based on his business and status parameters, and women attach importance to his appearance. I. M. Nikolskaya (2001) notes that women in difficult times more need not only some real significant figure, but also an “imaginary” one (including God) in order to rely on her strength and power and join with her in different forms of verbal and non-verbal interaction. For example, girls, as noted by I.M. Nikolskaya, often use techniques such as “talking to myself,” “praying.” This explains, it seems to me, a large religiosity women, as well as men with a pronounced feminine personality profile. L. Francis and P. Pearsons (1993) found, for example, that men who regularly attend church exhibited a “feminine” personality profile significantly more often than other men, and concluded that men’s religiosity more harmoniously combined with the “feminine worldview.”
<Мужчины всегда правы, а женщины никогда не ошибаются. Alsatian proverb>
Sex differences in industrial conflicts, according to I.V. Groshev, are expressed in the following. Men are more predisposed to conflicts related directly to work. Women tend to experience a higher frequency of conflicts related to their personal needs. According to R. A. Berezovskaya (2001), men are significantly more likely to use strategies such as situation analysis and systematization of working time.
A study of the types and direction of frustration in groups of men and women by I. A. Yurov (1981) showed that in the frequency of manifestation of types of reactions ( O-D- with fixation on an obstacle, N-P- with a focus on meeting needs, E-D- with a fixation on self-defense) there are no special differences, and in terms of the direction of reactions in men the option is somewhat more common E(external accusatory reactions), and for women - the option M (non-accusatory reactions - Table 8.1).
Table 8.1.Average values of types and directions of frustration in men and women,percentage of cases
|
Subjects |
Reaction type |
Direction of reaction |
||||
|
O-D |
E-D |
N-P |
E |
I |
M |
|
In a socially frustrating situation, women are more likely to have an intrapunitive reaction, associated with self-blame (A.I. Vinokurov, 1996).
Gender differences in the severity of types of psychological defense. According to E.F. Rybalko and T.V. Tulupyeva (1999), there are significant differences between boys and girls in the severity of certain types of psychological defense (Table 8.2).
Table 8.2.Average severity of various types of psychological defense in adolescence(as a percentage of the maximum possible)
|
Type of protection |
Boys |
Girls | |
|
Projection | |||
|
Rationalization | |||
|
Negation | |||
|
Compensation | |||
|
crowding out | |||
|
Regression | |||
|
Reactive education | |||
|
Substitution | |||
|
General level |
In girls, the protective mechanism of the type compensation, reactive formation, regression and projection is more pronounced, in boys - repression and denial. Since reactive education implies the replacement of a negative impulse or feeling with a socially approved one, it can be assumed that girls more often hide the motive of their own behavior from themselves. For boys, this type of defense is of the least importance, while for girls, repression is in last place as a method of defense.
M.D. Petrash (2001) on adults (ambulance workers) revealed largely similar facts. Women more often than men prefer such protective mechanisms as projection, regression, reactive formation, and men more often than women prefer repression and intellectualization (Fig. 8.1).
(A - negation; B - crowding out; C - regression; D - compensation; E - projection; F - substitution; G - intellectualization; H - reactive formation)
Rice. 8.1. Profile of the dominant psychological defense mechanisms in men and women
“When a Martian is upset, he will never say what is bothering him. He would never burden another Martian with his problems, except in cases where friendly help is needed. Instead, he becomes very quiet and withdraws into himself to think about his problem and find a solution.
If he cannot find a solution, he tries to forget about the problem by reading a newspaper or playing some game. By stopping to think about the problem, he can gradually relax. And if the stress is very severe, then the Martian needs to do something serious. For example, drive a car, take part in a competition, or go mountain climbing.
An upset or depressed Venusian, in order to feel relief, finds someone she trusts and talks about her problem in great detail. When a woman shares her overwhelming feelings, she feels better (p. 483). The longer and more emotionally they (women) talk, the better they feel. This is how women act, and expecting something different from them simply means not recognizing that they are women... While a man in a stressful situation focuses on one problem and forgets about everything else, a woman tends to overload herself with all problems at once... Having discussed one problem, she'll stop for a minute and then move on to the next one. In this way, a woman prolongs the conversation about problems, anxieties, disappointments and difficulties.
Moreover, all this is not logically connected and is told absolutely randomly. If a woman feels that she is not understood, she becomes even more upset - after all, another one has been added to her problems (p. 484).
Men immediately start offering solutions when women talk about their business. When a woman innocently shares her sorrows with a man or talks heatedly about the problems of the day, a man mistakenly perceives this as a need for advice from a competent person. He puts on his Mr. Know-It-All hat and begins to give advice, and this is a way of... sincerely wanting to help.
However, she is still upset - and it is very difficult for the man to listen to her, because the solution he proposed is rejected and he feels useless. He doesn’t even imagine that he can provide support simply with interest and sympathy. He does not know that on Venus, talking about problems is not a request for advice” (J. Gray, 2001, p. 480).
Strategies for achieving the goal. A. Montuori (1989) notes that a man’s attitude towards the world around him is characterized by assertiveness, self-confidence, and an orientation towards self-control. In order to separate from the world, it is necessary to manipulate someone from the environment, thus making sure of one’s independence. Men are more task-focused, which is why the masculine style is described as analytical and manipulative. Male psychology is centered around dominant, submissive rituals and hierarchies, where there is always a winner and a loser. The man is convinced that standing on top of the situation is a necessary condition for survival. This attitude does not recognize the alternative partner style inherent in female psychology.
These differences in male and female psychology were noted by McClelland (1975), who found that for girls, interaction and interdependence with the environment are more significant than for boys, who prefer to move forward with self-confidence, without being distracted by what is happening around them.
It is no coincidence that there is an opinion that men are more proud, than women. Here are some interesting reflections on this matter in the book by D.V. Kolesov and N.B. Selverova (1978): “A woman may be smarter and more capable than many men and is well aware of this, but she wants (this is a psychological need) for a specific Her chosen one was still, by these signs, taller than her, at least a little. In any case, no woman has anything against this, unlike a man. And if any woman is smarter than her husband, then she rather has to be smarter than she specifically strives for this.
If for a man the achievement or success of another person is usually something of an outsider, not his personal success (even with the most positive assessment of this success), then a woman can experience no less satisfaction from the success of her loved one, as if it were her personal success...
As a result of this, other things being equal, the woman concedes or is inclined to concede the palm to the man, and the impression may be created that the man has real reasons for this. Therefore, it is necessary to distinguish between a situation when a woman must resolve some issue in the presence of a man or hoping for his assistance and when she is forced to act completely independently. The result of the action of a man and a woman in a similar situation will in the vast majority of cases be the same, but the behavior of a woman in both cases is different. Some men consciously use this in order to establish themselves in the idea of their own mental superiority” (p. 25).
Isn’t it true that a woman appears in the minds of these authors (and maybe only one?) as a mother who deals with an unreasonable but proud child, playing along with him and acting on the principle: no matter what the child enjoys, as long as she doesn’t cry? G. Meisel-Hess openly outlined this position: “... this is the last refuge of the poor fellow, whom other men look down on, for if not a woman, then who will be more stupid than him?” (F. Probst, G. Meisel-Hess, 1909, p. 126).
Age-related changes in behavior strategies. Starting with C. Jung, some scientists have suggested that coping styles in men and women change differently with age. Men in old age switch from an active style to a passive one. After being responsible for others, raising a family, and making decisions for most of their lives, they likely feel empowered to express the full complexity of their personality, including those traits that are considered feminine. The older they get, the more they move from active to passive style, called “magical power” by D. Gutmann (1975); in this style, they fend off reality's attacks using a variety of techniques such as projection and distortion. With age, women begin to show more “masculine” traits: authority, aggressiveness and practicality.
According to A.K. Kanatov (2000), men have more flexible behavior than women (Table 8.3). True, with age this difference decreases.
Table 8.3.Flexibility of behavior of men and women, points
Strategies of behavior of men and women as buyers. As noted by I. A. Duberstein and E. E. Linchevsky (1980), the majority of male buyers are characterized by the desire not to seem petty, to make a decision quickly, they attach great importance to the friendliness of the seller and feel obligated if they were provided with assistance in choosing goods. Women take longer to choose, object more often, have a better understanding of fashion than men, so they are more difficult to serve.
Perhaps b O The greater complaisance of men in the role of buyers evokes a response from sellers and makes them also more flexible in bargaining with men rather than with women. For example, J. Ayres (1991) found that cars were sold cheaper by 90 dealers to men than to women.
A woman usually manages the family budget and spends money much more freely than a man not only on what she has planned in advance, but also on goods the purchase of which was not part of her immediate plans.
According to British psychologists, having to stand in line makes most men furious. When buying something, men mainly pay attention to its practicality and convenience, while women pay attention to its style and fashionability.
Lovers rarely think about why quarrels arise. And the last thing they think about is that the reason may be that he or she does not know how to behave in a given situation. Unfortunately, statistics say that many couples separate because they do not know how to build a love relationship correctly.
But it’s not enough to love and be loved; you also need to try to look decent in the eyes of your chosen one. This is especially important for men who need to be gentlemen in all situations - self-possessed, polite, self-confident - those who are called “come il faut”.
By the way, the literal translation of the word “come il faut” means “a man who needs it.” This is the essence of a man’s behavior - to behave as he should, as the situation requires. And if a man doubts that his action will be regarded as gentlemanly, then he definitely should not do it. And no matter how strange it may sound, this approach should be considered the main code of conduct in the relationship between a man and a woman.
Many rules of conduct for a man around a woman have been discussed in our articles. But, nevertheless, it is worth repeating the main points. And, of course, it is better to take them into account if you really want to please a woman, win her over, and not lose her interest with an awkward act.
According to the rules of etiquette on the street, a man, as a rule, walks to the left of a lady. On the right are only the military, who must be ready to salute.
The man accompanying the lady should not smoke. If both smoke, then it makes sense for them to stop, find a convenient place, but under no circumstances smoke while walking.
Before entering the room, the man opens the door for the woman and enters after her.
If a man and a woman go somewhere by taxi, then the man, approaching the car, opens the right rear door. The woman sits down first, the man sits next to her.
The man gets out of the car first and helps the woman out. If a man drives a car himself, he first helps the woman sit in the front seat, and then gets behind the wheel himself.
When going down the stairs, a man walks one or two steps ahead of the woman, and when going up, he walks a couple of steps behind in order to have time to support him if the woman stumbles or slips.
In the wardrobe, a man helps a woman undress, and when leaving, he hands her a coat.
A true gentleman will always help a lady of any age carry heavy things or give her a seat on public transport. Unfortunately, this seemingly simple rule is rarely remembered.
A well-mannered man will never be frank about his relationship with a girl or woman with another person (this is called gossip and humiliates both the narrator and the listener).
A well-mannered man can allow himself to enter a room ahead of a woman only if it is dark and he needs to turn on the light so that she can enter.
A well-mannered man will never sit in the presence of a standing lady or sit down without an invitation.
It is not customary to start a conversation with a woman or bow to her until she recognizes you. Although there are exceptions to this rule. If a man wants to attract the attention of a certain acquaintance, he can catch up with her and carefully touch her hand or quietly call her by her first name and patronymic (but in no case by her last name).
A well-mannered man will never talk to a woman about her age, the exception here being situations when they are on duty. A priori, they follow the rule: a woman is as old as she looks.
You should never touch a woman without her desire, take her by the hand, touch her during a conversation, push her or take her by the arm above the elbow, except when you are helping her get on or off a vehicle, or cross the street. .
Even if you believe that your mutual feelings allow you to hug and kiss, then in any case you should not do this on the street and in the presence of strangers.
A man should not talk about unpleasant things at the table, or touch on ambiguous topics that offend others, and especially ladies.
Well-mannered people are not late, especially if this rule applies to men who are in a hurry to go on a date. If a man meets a lady at an appointed place, being 5-10 minutes late is acceptable, but... extremely undesirable. According to the rules of good manners, a man arrives at the meeting place a few minutes (but not seconds!) earlier. His lateness can put the lady in an awkward position. In case of unforeseen circumstances, you should try to inform her about it.
A man in love never forgets to arrange the next meeting and is not the first to say goodbye. If your friend behaves differently, then you should not delude yourself about him.
Well, a woman usually waits for her lover as long as the strength of her feelings allows. A woman may be a few minutes late for a date. But you shouldn’t test your lover’s stability and endurance in the rain or bad weather.
A woman who really likes a man tries to keep pace with him on walks, goes to the hairdresser every third day and carefully chooses the toilet before a date, and when she receives an offer to go for a walk, she does not refuse, citing bad weather. Otherwise, a man’s chances of reciprocating feelings are slim.
You will learn from this chapter about the characteristics of the behavior of men and women in different circumstances, for example, in conflicts and frustrating situations, what strategies men and women have for overcoming difficult life situations, what methods of psychological defense they use, what are the attitudes of men and women on relationships with the outside world, how men and women distribute their time budget, what role fashion plays in the lives of men and women, what addictions are typical for representatives of both sexes, which of them more often displays deviant and criminal behavior.
8.1. Behavioral strategies of men and women in various life situations
Behavior of men and women in conflict and frustrating situations. Women cope worse with emotional problems and emerging difficulties, and experience family and personal conflicts more strongly (R. A. Berezovskaya, 2001; I. V. Groshev, 1996).
S. Noelen-Hoeksema (1990) showed that women, when feeling depressed, tend to think about the possible causes of their condition. This “think it through” response leads to an obsessive focus on the problem and increases a woman's vulnerability to the stressor. Men, on the contrary, try to isolate themselves from depressive emotions by concentrating on something else, for example, doing physical activity, in order to defuse the negative tension that has arisen.
I.V. Groshev (1996) also revealed that men and women resolve conflict situations that arise in the family and home circle differently. Women show more tolerance and desire for a compromise reconciliation of interests. Men in this situation more often resort to “strong” expressions and curses, while women are more likely to cry.
M. A. Kruglova (1999), studying behavioral strategies for psychological protection, revealed that in women the gap between the three types of strategy (avoidance, aggression and peacefulness) is minimal, while in men there is either avoidance (the desire to escape from the conflict) , or aggression. Their love of peace is much less pronounced than that of women.
According to I.M. Nikolskaya (2001), who compared the coping strategies of boys and girls in grades 1–5 in difficult and unpleasant situations, boys are 2 times more likely than girls to turn to the strategy “I fight, I fight” and 1.5 times more often - to the “teasing someone” strategy. Thus, these data confirm that boys are more likely to resort to strategies associated with the manifestation of aggression. Girls are significantly more likely than boys to use the strategies “hug, press, stroke”, “cry, feel sad”. This indicates their O a greater need for close affection, for emotional release through tears and pity for oneself and others, to the difficulties of self-disclosure.
Somewhat different data were obtained by Yu. M. Chuikova (2001): when overcoming conflicts, competition and especially compromise are more pronounced in men than in women, while adaptation and cooperation are more pronounced in women. The avoidance strategy, according to her data, was expressed equally in men and women.
During a quarrel, as I.V. Groshev notes, women more often remember old sins and mistakes made by their spouse in the past. Men stick more to the problem that caused the quarrel.
When resolving conflicts, women are more oriented towards the opinions of others, which is explained, according to I.V. Groshev, by their greater conformity. Hence, when resolving a conflict with the participation of women, the role of a mediator is great. Therefore, writes R. A. Berezovskaya, women more often turn to other people, psychologists, doctors, psychotherapists for help, trying to relieve mental stress through conversation. At the same time, as shown by I.V. Groshev, men choose an intermediary based on his business and status parameters, and women attach importance to his appearance. I. M. Nikolskaya (2001) notes that women in difficult times more need not only some real significant figure, but also an “imaginary” one (including God) in order to rely on her strength and power and join with her in different forms of verbal and non-verbal interaction. For example, girls, as noted by I.M. Nikolskaya, often use techniques such as “talking to myself,” “praying.” This explains, it seems to me, a large religiosity women, as well as men with a pronounced feminine personality profile. L. Francis and P. Pearsons (1993) found, for example, that men who regularly attend church exhibited a “feminine” personality profile significantly more often than other men, and concluded that men’s religiosity more harmoniously combined with the “feminine worldview”.
<Мужчины всегда правы, а женщины никогда не ошибаются. Alsatian proverb>
Sex differences in industrial conflicts, according to I.V. Groshev, are expressed in the following. Men are more predisposed to conflicts related directly to work. Women tend to experience a higher frequency of conflicts related to their personal needs. According to R. A. Berezovskaya (2001), men are significantly more likely to use strategies such as situation analysis and systematization of working time.
A study of the types and direction of frustration in groups of men and women by I. A. Yurov (1981) showed that in the frequency of manifestation of types of reactions ( O-D- with fixation on an obstacle, N-P- with a focus on meeting needs, E-D- with a fixation on self-defense) there are no special differences, and in terms of the direction of reactions in men the option is somewhat more common E(external accusatory reactions), and for women - the option M(non-accusatory reactions - Table 8.1).
Table 8.1.
Average values of types and directions of frustration in men and women, percentage of cases
Subjects |
Reaction type |
Direction of reaction |
||||
O-D |
E-D |
N-P |
E |
I |
M |
|
In a socially frustrating situation, women are more likely to have an intrapunitive reaction, associated with self-blame (A.I. Vinokurov, 1996).
Gender differences in the severity of types of psychological defense. According to E.F. Rybalko and T.V. Tulupyeva (1999), there are significant differences between boys and girls in the severity of certain types of psychological defense (Table 8.2).
Table 8.2.
Average severity of various types of psychological defense in adolescence (as a percentage of the maximum possible)
Type of protection |
Boys |
Girls |
|
Projection |
|||
Rationalization |
|||
Negation |
|||
Compensation |
|||
crowding out |
|||
Regression |
|||
Reactive education |
|||
Substitution |
|||
General level |
In girls, the protective mechanism of the type compensation, reactive formation, regression and projection is more pronounced, in boys - repression and denial. Since reactive education implies the replacement of a negative impulse or feeling with a socially approved one, it can be assumed that girls more often hide the motive of their own behavior from themselves. For boys, this type of defense is of the least importance, while for girls, repression is in last place as a method of defense.
M.D. Petrash (2001) on adults (ambulance workers) revealed largely similar facts. Women more often than men prefer such protective mechanisms as projection, regression, reactive formation, and men more often than women prefer repression and intellectualization (Fig. 8.1).
(A - negation; B - crowding out; C - regression; D - compensation; E - projection; F - substitution; G - intellectualization; H - reactive formation)
Rice. 8.1. Profile of the dominant psychological defense mechanisms in men and women
"When a Martian is upset, he will never say what is bothering him. He will never burden another Martian with his problems, unless friendly help is needed. Instead, he becomes very quiet and withdraws into himself to think about his problem and find a solution.
If he cannot find a solution, he tries to forget about the problem by reading a newspaper or playing some game. By stopping to think about the problem, he can gradually relax. And if the stress is very severe, then the Martian needs to do something serious. For example, drive a car, take part in a competition, or go mountain climbing.
An upset or depressed Venusian, in order to feel relief, finds someone she trusts and talks about her problem in great detail. When a woman shares her overwhelming feelings, she feels better (p. 483). The longer and more emotionally they (women) talk, the better they feel. This is how women act, and expecting something different from them simply means not recognizing that they are women... While a man in a stressful situation focuses on one problem and forgets about everything else, a woman tends to overload herself with all problems at once... Having discussed one problem, she'll stop for a minute and then move on to the next one. In this way, a woman prolongs the conversation about problems, anxieties, disappointments and difficulties.
Moreover, all this is not logically connected and is told absolutely randomly. If a woman feels that she is not understood, she becomes even more upset - after all, another one has been added to her problems (p. 484).
Men immediately start offering solutions when women talk about their business. When a woman innocently shares her sorrows with a man or talks heatedly about the problems of the day, a man mistakenly perceives this as a need for advice from a competent person. He puts on his Mr. Know-It-All hat and begins to give advice, and this is a way of... sincerely wanting to help.
However, she is still upset - and it is very difficult for the man to listen to her, because the solution he proposed is rejected and he feels useless. He doesn’t even imagine that he can provide support simply with interest and sympathy. He does not know that on Venus, talking about problems is not a request for advice" (J. Gray, 2001, p. 480).
Strategies for achieving the goal. A. Montuori (1989) notes that a man’s attitude towards the world around him is characterized by assertiveness, self-confidence, and an orientation towards self-control. In order to separate from the world, it is necessary to manipulate someone from the environment, thus making sure of one’s independence. Men are more task-focused, which is why the masculine style is described as analytical and manipulative. Male psychology is centered around dominant, submissive rituals and hierarchies, where there is always a winner and a loser. The man is convinced that standing on top of the situation is a necessary condition for survival. This attitude does not recognize the alternative partner style inherent in female psychology.
These differences in male and female psychology were noted by McClelland (1975), who found that for girls, interaction and interdependence with the environment are more significant than for boys, who prefer to move forward with self-confidence, without being distracted by what is happening around them.
It is no coincidence that there is an opinion that men are more proud than women. Here are some interesting reflections on this matter in the book by D.V. Kolesov and N.B. Selverova (1978): “A woman may be smarter and more capable than many men and is well aware of this, but she wants (this is a psychological need) for a specific her chosen one was still superior to her in these respects, at least a little. In any case, no woman has anything against this, unlike a man. And if any woman is smarter than her husband, then she rather has to be smarter than she specifically strives for this.
If for a man the achievement or success of another person is usually something of an outsider, not his personal success (even with the most positive assessment of this success), then a woman can experience no less satisfaction from the success of her loved one, as if it were her personal success...
As a result of this, other things being equal, the woman concedes or is inclined to concede the palm to the man, and the impression may be created that the man has real reasons for this. Therefore, it is necessary to distinguish between a situation when a woman must resolve some issue in the presence of a man or hoping for his assistance and when she is forced to act completely independently. The result of the action of a man and a woman in a similar situation will in the vast majority of cases be the same, but the behavior of a woman in both cases is different. Some men consciously use this in order to establish themselves in the idea of their own mental superiority" (p. 25).
Isn’t it true that a woman appears in the minds of these authors (and maybe only one?) as a mother who deals with an unreasonable but proud child, playing along with him and acting on the principle: no matter what the child enjoys, as long as she doesn’t cry? G. Meisel-Hess openly outlined this position: “... this is the last refuge of the poor fellow, whom other men look down on, for if not a woman, then who will be more stupid than him?” (F. Probst, G. Meisel-Hess, 1909, p. 126).
Age-related changes in behavior strategies. Starting with C. Jung, some scientists have suggested that coping styles in men and women change differently with age. Men in old age switch from an active style to a passive one. After being responsible for others, raising a family, and making decisions for most of their lives, they likely feel empowered to express the full complexity of their personality, including those traits that are considered feminine. The older they get, the more they move from an active to a passive style, called “magical power” by D. Gutmann (1975); in this style, they fend off reality's attacks using a variety of techniques such as projection and distortion. With age, women begin to show more “masculine” traits: authority, aggressiveness and practicality.
According to A.K. Kanatov (2000), men have more flexible behavior than women (Table 8.3). True, with age this difference decreases.
Table 8.3.
Flexibility of behavior of men and women, points
Strategies of behavior of men and women as buyers. As noted by I. A. Duberstein and E. E. Linchevsky (1980), the majority of male buyers are characterized by the desire not to seem petty, to make a decision quickly, they attach great importance to the friendliness of the seller and feel obligated if they were provided with assistance in choosing goods. Women take longer to choose, object more often, have a better understanding of fashion than men, so they are more difficult to serve.
Perhaps b O The greater complaisance of men in the role of buyers evokes a response from sellers and makes them also more flexible in bargaining with men rather than with women. For example, J. Ayres (1991) found that cars were sold cheaper by 90 dealers to men than to women.
A woman usually manages the family budget and spends money much more freely than a man not only on what she has planned in advance, but also on goods the purchase of which was not part of her immediate plans.
According to British psychologists, having to stand in line makes most men furious. When buying something, men mainly pay attention to its practicality and convenience, while women pay attention to its style and fashionability.
8.2. Altruistic behavior and gender
S. Byrne writes that “common stereotypes that describe women as caring and compassionate lead to the idea that they should be more helpful than men, while in a meta-analysis of social psychological studies of helpfulness conducted by Eagly and Crowley (Eagly, Crowley, 1986), it turned out that men are more likely to help others than women" (2001, p. 115). The validity of this conclusion is confirmed by the work of domestic psychologists.
V.V. Abramenkova’s (1980) study of the empathy of children aged 5-7 years showed that girls, in a situation of threat of punishment, are less likely than boys to show a humane attitude towards their peers. Girls are more concerned about their own well-being, and boys are more concerned about the well-being of their friend. However, this pattern appears only in a situation of group interaction. In a situation alone with the experimenter, everything changes. Boys are more concerned about their own well-being, while girls are more concerned about the well-being of their peers. Thus, V.V. Abramenkova concludes that the peer group influences the humane behavior of boys and girls of preschool age in different ways. For boys, the group catalyzes their ability to effectively identify, causes competitive passion, and mutual influence; in girls, such a catalyst is an adult (experimenter). Girls, on the other hand, are more diligent and responsible alone with the experimenter, obviously due to the fact that they have a more pronounced orientation towards the position of an adult, the desire to meet his expectations. For boys, the opinions of their peers are more important.
A study by V.V. Abramenkova (1987) of this issue on primary and secondary schoolchildren showed that at the turn of 9-10 years, the identified relationships “reverse”, that is, girls turn out to be more humane towards their peers. This is confirmed in other works, for example in the book “Ethnography of Childhood” (1983): at the age of 7-11 years, girls are more caring and humane in communicating with peers and younger children than boys. At the age of 12-13, differences in the manifestation of humanity between boys and girls, according to V.V. Abramenkova, disappear.
A. Eagly notes that the provision of assistance depends on the type of helping actions that are prescribed by gender roles. Men are more likely to show sympathy and altruism (provide help) in cases where it concerns gallant, chivalrous or heroic behavior, including saving people even at risk to their own health, especially in the presence of other people (“heroic” and “cavalier” help). Women are more likely to provide help when a more accommodating, helpful form is required, when it is necessary to take care of the personal and emotional needs of others ("caring help"). Women spend more time caring for preschool children and elderly parents. They buy used O most of the greeting cards and gifts for birthdays and holidays (De Stefano, Colasanto, 1990).
Caring for a sick spouse. Wives are more likely than husbands to report stress associated with caring for a frail spouse, although the difference is not large (B. Miller, 1990). R. Pruchno and N. Resch (R. Pruchno, N. Resch, 1989) suggest that this is partly due to changes in gender roles in the family that are observed in old age. Men who become more family-oriented with age are more willing to provide such care; Women feel that they have already spent their entire lives caring for their family.
Philanthropy. Women are more inclined to philanthropy. D. Myers (2000) cites data obtained in the USA, according to which among people who bequeathed more than $5 million to charitable purposes, there were 48% women and 35% men. Women's colleges receive very large donations from their alumni.
8.3. Gender and time budget
A number of sociological studies conducted in our country during Soviet times revealed some differences in the time budget of males and females. Thus, in a study by V. A. Malova (1972), conducted on students of secondary specialized educational institutions, it was revealed that girls spend more time than boys on studying (differences are especially noticeable when studying independently), on household needs, but less for physiological needs. As a result, girls have less free time than boys (Table 8.4).
Table 8.4.
General structure of the weekly time budget for students in secondary specialized educational institutions, hours
Training sessions |
Independent study |
Household needs |
Physiological needs |
Free time |
|
The structure of the weekly free time budget also differed between boys and girls. Girls spent more time on social work, traveling outside the city, listening to lectures and reports, radio broadcasts, reading fiction, listening to records, talking with friends, and boys spent more time on physical education, playing chess and checkers, amateur activities, watching television, and inactive rest.
In a study by I.P. Shakhova (1986), schoolchildren rated on a 5-point scale those types of activities to which they devote most of their free time (Table 8.5). When considering these data, it should be taken into account that in those years when the survey of schoolchildren was conducted, computer games were not yet widespread as they are now. Therefore, the real picture in our time may be somewhat different.
Table 8.5.
Distribution of free time by adolescents and young men depending on gender, points
Class |
Girls |
Boys |
|||||||||||
Valid |
Wishful |
Valid |
Wishful |
||||||||||
Class |
|||||||||||||
Playing a musical instrument |
|||||||||||||
Watching TV |
|||||||||||||
Visit to the theater |
|||||||||||||
Visit to the cinema |
|||||||||||||
Think, reflect |
|||||||||||||
Craft |
|||||||||||||
Take part in class and school activities |
|||||||||||||
Communication with friends |
|||||||||||||
As can be seen from the table, 7th grade girls spend most of their free time on going to the cinema, reading and watching TV shows, and least of all on communicating with friends and making something. Boys of this age spend most of their free time on playing sports, and significantly less on reading, going to the cinema and watching television, and least of all on going to the theater and social activities at school.
In the 8th grade, reading takes first place among girls by a large margin from other activities. In second and third place are going to the cinema and watching TV shows. Communication with friends takes a back seat, but the desire to make things remains the same. For boys in this class, the leading classes remain the same as in the 7th grade, as well as those lagging behind.
In 9th grade, girls have even more time to read. Communication with friends comes in second place, and time devoted to reflection comes in third. For boys in this class, there is also a significant redistribution of free time allocated to certain activities. In the first place, as with girls, is reading (but not because they want it, but because the school curriculum forces them to do so; to be convinced of this, it is enough to compare the assessment of the actual time allocated for reading with the desired time) . Sports, with a significant lag, move into fourth place, while second and third places are taken by watching television and communicating with friends. In last place in terms of time allotted are visiting the theater and the desire to make crafts.
The assessment of the actual time allocated to certain activities often does not correspond to the wishes of girls. Thus, they would most like to visit the theater in their free time and communicate with friends. Boys' desires are more consistent with the activities that they actually carry out.
Similar results were obtained by Yu. V. Borisov (1971) on state farm workers (Table 8.6).
Table 8.6.
Structure of the weekly time budget of state farm workers (percentage of time spent from the total budget)
Kind of activity |
Men |
Women |
Work on a state farm |
||
Homework |
||
Satisfying natural needs (sleep, eating, etc.) |
||
Physical education classes |
||
Reading newspapers, magazines, fiction |
||
Playing chess, checkers |
||
Listening to radio broadcasts, watching television broadcasts |
||
Social work |
||
8.4. Fashion as a specific form of behavior and gender. 7
- 7 When writing this section, I relied on the data given in the book by M. I. Kiloshenko, 2001.
Fashion - this is a means of forming attraction, i.e., a special attitude towards perception, mainly emotionally positive, of one person to another. Consequently, fashion plays a positive role in interpersonal communication, primarily in the formation of the attractiveness of one person for another, which was noted by G. Hegel in “Phenomenology of Spirit”. However, fashion has another function - it emphasizes sexual identification, which was clearly expressed in the Egyptian costumes of the Old Kingdom (2780-2280 BC). The social role of women is reflected in the costumes of the peoples of Western Asia (III-I millennium BC) and the Cretan-Mycenaean costume (2600-1250 BC). The costumes of Ancient Rome (5th century BC - 5th century AD) emphasized majesty in men's suits, coquetry and beauty in women's. In the Middle Ages, costumes reflected the asceticism of a man and the sophistication of a woman. The gallantry of a man and the splendor and affectation of a woman are manifested in the clothes of the 17th century. Although from time to time women's clothing resembled men's, and this became the subject of ridicule in cartoons.
"Which one is a man and which one is a woman?" English caricature, 1787.
<Наряд - предисловие к женщине, а иногда это и вся книга. N. de Chamfort>
The new position of women in the 19th century. In bourgeois society, the intensive development of women's fashion was determined, while men's clothing became increasingly stabilized.
During the time of Louis XIV (1638-1715), rich men wore the same bright clothes as women, and already at the beginning of the 19th century. men's festive clothes became much more modest than women's outfits, and then women began to wear clothes similar to men's clothes
<К чему стремятся женщины в этой жизни, как не к тому, чтобы возможно больше нравиться мужчинам? Не этой ли цели служат все их наряды... дорогие безделушки? Мази, благовония, раскрашенные лица, подведенные глаза, искусно увеличенные округлости? Erasmus of Rotterdam>
The slight variability of women's fashion was explained by the fact that they passionately love change and always strive for novelty. In addition, they are especially willing to follow aesthetic suggestions coming from fashion magazines and presentations of new clothing collections. Women tend to listen to the opinions of others when choosing fashionable clothes. Most of them (72%, according to M.I. Kiloshenko, 2001) can sacrifice the comfort of clothing in order to impress other people (as one of the journalists wrote, her passionate desire is to buy some kind of rag, put it on herself and be glad that it got through to someone and got them 8), while men are focused mainly on their own opinion and choose clothes that are not only fashionable, but also comfortable. Social psychologist I. S. Bogardus (E. Bogardus, 1942) writes on this subject: “Women are often overwhelmed in search of an outfit that would be both fashionable and individually tailored. Every year, women spend a huge amount of energy watching for changing the shapes and details of clothing" (p. 311). True, many women feel the pointlessness of constantly changing fashions, but dutifully submit to the changes, as this is necessary to maintain status. In addition, buying new clothes, according to M.I. Kiloshenko (2001), improves the mood of 56% of women. For most women, the final choice of fashionable clothing is accompanied by an increase in emotional tone, the manifestation of emotions of varying quality and intensity. The psychological state of men is characterized as emotional-cognitive or restrained-reasonable (Table 8.7).
- 8 Kozlova O. It’s scary to lose yourself // Nezavisimaya Gazeta. - 1999. - February 19.
Table 8.7.
Emotions of respondents after choosing fashionable clothes
Women |
Men |
||
Emotion |
Number of responses, % |
Emotion |
Number of responses, % |
Pleasure |
Pleasure |
||
Excitation |
|||
Excitation |
|||
Activity |
Voltage |
||
Voltage |
Activity |
||
Confidence |
Confidence |
||
B O The greater importance of clothing for women than for men was noted in his book by J. Gray (2001): women “do not wear uniforms like the Martians (to show everyone their position). On the contrary, they like to dress differently every day, according to their mood "Personal expression is very important to them, especially when it comes to feelings. They can change clothes several times a day, depending on their mood" (p. 481).
Dynamic lifestyle and the desire for gender equality in the 20th century. determined the development of fashion trends: features of independence, determination, and adaptability to working and living conditions appear in a woman’s appearance. Women's suits are increasingly reminiscent of men's.
A characteristic feature of women's fashion is that it encodes certain information for men. Among women belonging to African tribes, the use of an apron was a sign that she was inviolable to a stranger. Among European peasant women, wearing a headscarf meant that the woman was married. The choice of one or another clothing and its color can emphasize the character and identification of a person with one gender or another. Thus, light colors in clothing enhance the impression of femininity and playfulness, while dark colors - masculinity and restraint. It is believed that a blue men's tie indicates the reliability of the person who chose it; the predominance of bright red color in the design of the tie reveals an ambitious and energetic man, striving for power. Dark red color is preferred by self-confident men, while light green distinguishes men who value themselves highly and have high demands on others. Men who value the comfort and warmth of the family hearth choose dark green or olive ties (T. Demidova, 1998).
When modeling a costume, the characteristics of male and female figures and the psychology of men and women are taken into account.
At the same time, in the personality of both sexes there are both masculine and feminine principles, which are often designated by the concepts of “yin” and “yang”, borrowed from Chinese literature. Yin means delicacy, softness, tenderness, sensitivity, sophistication, fragility, charm, i.e. feminine traits; yang - stamina, determination, strength, energy, endurance, i.e. masculine traits. Yin is associated with the sophistication of the winter pattern on the window, yang with the strength of pine. The current trend of strengthening yang in women and yin in men also affects modern fashion. Masculine women often adhere to the masculine line of clothing: wearing trouser suits, shirts and jumpers, and safari-type clothing. Feminine men are prone to a romantic style of clothing; their suits are made from traditionally feminine fabrics, soft in texture and varied in color.
Eroticism in clothes. Some authors were inclined to see the specific reasons for this or that fashion in the clothing of men and women in the influence of erotic ideas. For example, the appearance of high heels in women was explained by the fact that it makes the posture special, strengthens the abs, which “youthens” the figure, makes it more sexually attractive, while the size of the leg visually decreases and the heel takes on the appearance of a phallic symbol.
It was noted that after the particularly bloody wars of 1812, 1914-1918. and 1940-1945 women's dress gradually shortened. Obviously, this is due to the desire to give women b O greater sexuality for a more successful fight for the hearts of the sharply diminished male contingent.
"War is long, skirts are short." During the First World War, a fashion for short, wide crinolines appeared (cartoon 1916)
Signs of sexuality and eroticism are most clearly manifested in women's dress. J. S. Flügel (cited from M. Kiloshenko, 2001) put forward a theory according to which the endless changes in women's fashion are explained by a phenomenon that he called “changes in the erogenous zone.” Any part of a woman’s body, as opposed to a man’s, is attractive to the opposite sex. Each of the zones accumulates "erotic capital", or hidden charm, during the period that the costume covers the zone. The zone can "come into operation" after some time has passed, when sufficient "capital" has been accumulated. The exploitation of the erogenous zone is carried out either by opening it (for example, the neckline), or by tightly fitting it, or using other techniques well known to fashion designers.
In Europe of the 18th - early 19th centuries. The upper erogenous zone was intensively exploited in the last decades of the 20th century. were marked by the exploitation of the lower erogenous zone with the introduction into fashion of miniskirts, short dresses, tight-fitting trousers, and bikini-style swimsuits. Transparent and translucent fabrics have been used for a long time, emphasizing the exciting forms of the female figure and the graceful plasticity of the female body.
Eroticism also manifests itself in men's clothing from time to time. Trousers, which came into fashion among the Romans, were made for many centuries from two unsewn halves, which were tied only at the waist. In the XIV century. a special pouch with a drawstring began to be attached to the front of the trousers. In the 16th century they began padding it with cotton, deliberately emphasizing the genitals. At the end of the 18th century. this detail of men's trousers is replaced by a modest flap. Nowadays, a man looks sexy in leather trousers and a knitted jumper or a mesh T-shirt or polo shirt. Clothes made in the hunting and safari style give a man sexual attractiveness. Even a striped suit can excite women. Sexual intrigue is also present in military uniforms because it is masculine and romantic and at the same time a little theatrical. And women are passionate fans of the theater (O. Mikhailovskaya, 1996).
8.5. Sex differences in addictions
Alcoholism. It is known that there are more alcoholics among men than among women (according to foreign data, 19% of men are chronic alcoholics, and 7% of women are chronic alcoholics (J. Vitkin, 1996); according to other data, there are 5 times more male alcoholics than women - alcoholics This is confirmed by international statistics (S. N. Gabhainn, Y. Francois, 2000): in many countries, among students of different ages who have never tried alcohol, there are more girls than boys (Fig. 8.2).
Rice. 8.2. Number of students who have never consumed alcohol, percentages
It should, however, be taken into account that female alcoholism is growing in many countries faster than male alcoholism. So, during the 1960-1980s. in the USA, the number of alcoholic men increased by 20%, and women by 58%, in Canada by 19% and 68%, respectively. The same trend exists in our country. Most women prone to alcoholism are unmarried and divorced. Moreover, if in men complete dependence on alcohol occurs only after 10-15 years, then in women this process proceeds much faster - the process of addiction to alcohol takes only 3-4 years, and this has more severe consequences both for the woman herself and for her. families.
The reason why women are more susceptible to the effects of alcohol lies in a protective enzyme produced by the stomach - the so-called alcohol dehydrogenase, which breaks down alcohol before it enters the bloodstream. Women produce less of this enzyme. Therefore, when taking the same amount of alcohol, women end up with a third more alcohol in their blood than men, and in women who drink heavily, cirrhosis of the liver develops faster. B O The greater susceptibility of the female body to the effects of alcohol is also explained by the smaller body size and smaller volumes in which the alcohol consumed is distributed, since women's bodies contain relatively more fat and less water.
Men drink more because of their everyday promiscuity (“what kind of man is he if he doesn’t drink”), while in women a relatively common cause of alcoholism is loneliness, unsettled life, and the loss of loved ones. Women are more busy than men. As a result, “doing nothing” predisposes men to fill the “emotional vacuum” with the help of strong drinks. Traditions also matter, standards of attitude towards drinking alcohol that are different for men and women, dating back to ancient centuries.
In Ancient Rome, women were prohibited from drinking at all, and a husband had the right to kill his wife for drunkenness.
Tobacco smoking. There are also more men who smoke than women around the world, but the ratio between them varies quite widely. Thus, in the USA and England the ratio of smoking men to women is 1.35:1, in Africa - 3.7:1, Latin America - 4.6:1, Asia - 6.2:1. In the United States in 1970, the number of boys and girls who smoked was almost the same: 15.7 and 15.3%, with boys starting smoking earlier than girls and smoking more often. But since 1977, surveys have shown that more teenage girls smoke than boys.
In our country, smoking among women has not been common for a long time. Unfortunately, emancipation had its say here too; Smoking is especially common among girls. Sometimes their initiation into smoking has the character of a local epidemic - in a certain environment literally everyone starts smoking.
According to A.G. Stoyko (1958), males begin to smoke 3-4 years earlier than females. The former most often start smoking at the age of 12-18, and especially at the age of 16, the latter - at the age of 15-22, and especially at the age of 18. According to international statistics (S. N. Gabhainn, Y. Francois, 2000), boys aged 11 years are more likely than girls to try cigarettes, but the number of daily smokers of girls aged 13 years and older in many countries even exceeds the number of smoking boys of the same age (Fig. 8.3).
(*France, Germany and Russia are represented by separate regions.)
Rice. 8.3. Number of students who smoke daily, percentage
The importance of various factors leading to smoking differs slightly between boys and girls (Byrne et al., 1993):
Boys |
Girls |
1. Smoking friends |
1. Smoking friends |
As can be seen from these data, girls begin to smoke under external influence to a much greater extent than boys.
In smoking men, a decrease (about one and a half times) in sperm motility and a decrease in testosterone levels in the blood were detected, which indicates a decrease in their fertilizing ability. Some cases of sexual weakness are also associated with smoking, especially in those men who had moderate and low potency.
In women who smoke, the body ages much earlier. They are more likely to experience early cessation of menstruation. Their pregnancy occurs with various complications: increased blood pressure, the appearance of edema and protein in the urine (which indicates the occurrence of nephropathy). The placenta in pregnant women who smoke develops worse, has reduced weight and copes with its function worse. In this regard, a quarter of pregnant women who smoke experience placental bleeding. In those who smoke more than one pack a day, one-third of cases result in intrauterine fetal death, especially in women under 25 and over 30 years of age. Women who smoke have a 20% higher risk of premature birth than non-smokers, and miscarriages are more common. It is no coincidence that women who work in tobacco factories have miscarriages much more often than women who do not work with tobacco.
Smoking also negatively affects the development of the fetus: in various countries, the frequency of births of children weighing less than 2.5 kg among smoking women is 20-30% higher than among non-smoking women. The average weight of newborns among smokers is 200-250 g lower. The mortality rate of newborns in smokers is on average 40% higher in different countries, especially during the first pregnancy. Despite this, according to the American Medical Association, 20-25% of women in the United States smoke during pregnancy, and about 20% in Latin American countries.
Addiction. Male and female drug addicts are in a ratio of 2:1, and according to some reports even 10:1.
8.6. Aggressive behavior and gender
Studies of toddlers and preschool children using teacher feedback or direct observation show that boys exhibit more anger, aggression, destructiveness, and pugnacity than girls (L. Hattwick, 1937; M. Muste, D. Sharpe, 1947; L. Terman, L. Tyler, 1954; M. L. Butovskaya, 1997). Gender differences in the impulse to destroy were revealed in a survey of students recalling their childhood (W. Clark, 1952). In our time, the trend of boys being more physically aggressive continues to persist. Thus, among those convicted of child abuse, the number of men exceeds the number of women by 4 times (A. Sedlak, 1989).
According to V.S. Savina (2001), boys 9-10 years old show more aggressiveness than girls of the same age, moreover, in the form of both physical and verbal aggression (the author used methods in which verbal indirect aggression is not highlighted). When identifying indirect verbal aggression, the picture changes somewhat. As shown by P. A. Kovalev (1996), males are predominantly prone to direct and indirect physical aggression (fighting), as well as direct verbal, and females - to indirect verbal aggression (gossiping). Similar data were obtained by Lagerspetz et al. (Lagerspetz et al., 1988) on Finnish children aged 11-12 years: girls preferred to use indirect forms of aggression (spreading rumors, making a new friend in revenge for an old one), and boys more often expressed aggression openly (pushing, fighting , shouted). A study by P. Sears (1951) observed preschool children playing with dolls that represented family members in a typical home environment. It was found that boys not only exhibited O greater aggression than girls, but were also more likely to engage in aggression in the sense of causing physical harm, while girls resorted to verbal and other symbolic forms of aggression.
These differences are likely due to several reasons. First, as Bjorkvist et al. (1994) note, women are physically weaker, so it makes no sense for them to use direct physical aggression (although, on the other hand, who is stopping them from using it in conflicts with members of their own sex?) . Secondly, the use of direct physical and partly direct verbal aggression, according to A. Eagly (1987), does not fit into the image of a woman as a gentle, soft, meek, responsive creature. Women feel embarrassed about showing aggression in public.
L. M. Semenyuk (1998) revealed both differences and similarities in the manifestation of various forms of aggression by teenage boys and girls at certain age stages (Table 8.8).
Table 8.8.
Manifestation of various forms of aggressive behavior in teenage boys and girls
Form of aggressiveness |
10-11 years |
12-13 years old |
14-15 years old |
|||
Boys |
Girls |
Boys |
Girls |
Boys |
Girls |
|
Physical |
||||||
Indirect |
||||||
Verbal |
||||||
Negativism |
||||||
A study by Zh. Yu. Dreeva (2000) revealed that computer games with elements of aggression cause a greater increase in irritation and verbal aggression in boys than in girls.
It is suggested that aggressive behavior is a channel for discharging the excitement that arises during conflicts. Experimental data show that this is not always the case and that gender differences in the manifestation of aggression play a certain role. In the experiments of D. Hokanson and his colleagues (D. Hokanson, M. Burgess, 1962; D. Hokanson, R. Edelman, 1966), subjects reacted to interpersonal conflict aggressively or friendly. It was found that in men with an aggressive response, emotional arousal, which was judged by physiological changes, decreased faster than with a friendly response. When it was impossible to display direct aggression (physical or verbal) with strong anger, that is, when fantasizing about an aggressive response or the absence of aggression at all, blood pressure remained high, which indicated the persistence of emotional tension.
Emotional stress in women decreased differently. With a friendly reaction it decreased faster than with an aggressive one. D. Hokanson (1970) explains such differences between men and women by the fact that among men, aggression is an instrumental form of behavior, that is, not an end in itself, but a means of achieving a goal - conflict resolution.
There are gender differences in attitudes towards aggression. As R. Baron and D. Richardson (1998) write, citing a number of authors, women, unlike men, consider the tendency to dominate in their possible spouse to be a very attractive trait. These data give biologists reason to assume that assertive behavior as a form of aggressiveness may help men pass on their genes to the next generation. Men tend to experience less guilt and anxiety after aggressive behavior. Women, on the other hand, are concerned about what aggression can mean for themselves. Having shown aggression, they are more likely to react to it with feelings of guilt and fear (X. Heckhausen, 1986). So, a mother, having beaten her child in anger, can then cry with him.
Moreover, women view aggression as an expression, as an expression of emotional tension during anger. Men, on the other hand, view aggression as a tool, considering it a model of behavior that they resort to to obtain various social and material rewards (R. Baron and D. Richardson).
The differences between men and women in the use of direct physical aggression are explained by different levels of testosterone in both, since the connection between aggressive behavior and high concentrations of this male sex hormone has been shown, including in animal experiments, although in a number of studies (for example, Bjorkvist , 1994) such a connection is denied.
Of course, this only explains the tendency for men to be more aggressive and does not suggest that any man is required to exhibit higher levels of direct physical aggression than women. Thus, R. Baron and D. Richardson note that sex differences in physical aggression are most noticeable in situations where aggression is forced to resort to (for example, due to the fulfillment of a social role), in contrast to situations when it is resorted to without any coercion . In addition, men's tendency to display aggression is more evident after strong provocation than without it. At the same time, B. Kopper and D. Epperson (Kopper, Epperson, 1991) found that masculine women are more likely to find themselves in a state of anger and act it out on others.
According to Ya. Yu. Kopeiko (2000), in men and women there are connections of different natures between aggressive behavior and the level of anxiety. For men this relationship is inverse, and for women it is direct. The author concludes that the aggressive behavior of men is more direct in nature and is associated with the controlling function of the Superego. In women, this behavior is some kind of protective mechanism, more related to the “strength - weakness of the Ego.”
8.7. Antisocial behavior and gender
Antisocial behavior is more often observed in males than in females, although quantitative data differ somewhat among different authors.
Thus, according to some psychologists, the ratio of boys to girls with behavior problems is 4:1 (H. Williams, 1933; L. Terman, L. Tyler, 1954). According to other data, boys are 3 times more likely than girls to exhibit deviant behavior, but in girls delinquency is found in a much more acute form (P. Graham, 1979). A study by McFarlane et al. (1954) found that boys are more deceitful and more likely to steal.
J. Witkin (1996) provides comparative data on offenses committed by adolescents of both sexes. Boys commit thefts (including night burglaries) 10 times more often than girls, and robbery - 5 times more often. They are 7 times more likely than girls to steal cars, 10 times more likely to commit arson, 4 times more likely to be arrested for fighting in the street, and 10 times more likely to commit crimes while intoxicated.
This state of affairs is explained by the fact that boys have more opportunities for “night behavior”, since they are given a O greater independence and freedom of movement than girls; boys may try to cope with depression by acting wildly and taking risks, while girls cope with depression differently; boys may question the authority of the police, enter into symbolic confrontation with their own fathers, experiencing alienation from them at this age; boys tend to violence due to the assimilation of a “masculine” type of behavior, borrowing it from books, films and television shows.
According to American statistics, the number of men serving sentences in prisons and correctional institutions relates to a similar number of women as 25:1 (A. Scheinfeld, 1943). However, when considering the number of arrests, this ratio dropped to 19:1, indicating a more lenient attitude of judges towards women.
Crimes related to murder and the threat or attempt of violence are also more often committed by men: in Canada - 11 and 8 times more often, respectively, in the USA - 10 and 5 times more often. This is associated with a greater tendency of men to engage in direct physical aggression. And there are reasons for such a conclusion. Men who have committed violent crimes have been shown to have elevated testosterone levels (Dabbs et al., 1995). And as mentioned above, there is a direct connection between testosterone levels and aggressive behavior.
However, female crime is growing faster than male crime. In addition, as L. Shevchenko (1999) notes, it is qualitatively new. Often a woman not only leads a criminal group, but also organizes and commits the most brutal and sophisticated crimes. A woman, being part of a criminal group, plays the role of “bait” for men.
The structure of crime among women differs from that of men. This difference is explained by the greater employment of women in such areas as logistics, trade, and catering. Therefore, women are 6 times more likely than men to commit theft of state property on an especially large scale, and 2 times more often to commit theft of personal property. If intentional murders are more often committed by men, then unintentional murders (as a reaction to bullying by a husband or while intoxicated) are more often committed by women. As a rule, the victims of women are close people - husbands, cohabitants, relatives, acquaintances. Women are 5 times more likely to be prosecuted for drug distribution.
N.A. Chelysheva (1999), using the example of juvenile offenders, shows that the crimes of teenage girls, more often than their male peers, are the result of their criminal intent. For only 9% of girls the crime was accidental, while among boys the percentage of “accidental” criminals is close to 20. Many crimes are committed due to alcoholism. At the time of the crime, almost 70% of men and 43% of women were intoxicated.
The presence of the last factor as a leading factor in men is confirmed in the study of D. P. Piskarev (1999). Among males serving criminal sentences, 40% indicated intoxication as a determinant of illegal behavior, and among the same women - only 10%. On the other hand, women were more likely than men to cite neediness (40% and 30%, respectively) and thoughtlessness (40% and 10%, respectively). It is typical that law-abiding young people name the same reasons for illegal behavior, regardless of gender. Among law-abiding people, the need to comply with legal norms was somewhat more common among women than among men (29% and 25% of cases, respectively). The same ratios were also revealed in the subjects’ positive attitudes toward law-abiding citizens (65% among females and 57% among males). But in relation to law-abiding citizens, negative attitudes were less common among women than among men by 10%.
Attempts are being made (P. Heaven, 1993) to connect the delinquent behavior of men and women with their personal characteristics: self-esteem, anger, propensity for risky behavior, impulsiveness, extraversion, psychoticism, attitude towards authorities. It was found that among respondents of both sexes, psychoticism and extraversion are significant predictors of delinquency. However, while in boys other traits were directly associated with delinquency, in girls the influence of other traits was mediated by psychoticism. The author concluded that in girls, psychoticism acts as a channel through which the influence of other traits on delinquency is transmitted.
Control questions
- How does the behavior of men and women differ in conflict and frustrating situations?
- What are the features of psychological defense and coping strategies in people of different genders?
- Are there differences in the behavioral strategies of men and women?
- How do men and women tend to allocate their time budget?
- How does gender affect attitudes towards fashion?
- Who is more prone to addictions: men or women?
- What differences in aggressive behavior are there between individuals of both sexes?
- Does gender influence characteristics of antisocial behavior?
I'm not like him
We are different, but we are one.
There are many serious differences in the behavior and logic of men and women. These include general views on the world and raising children, and even the very fact of having a relationship.
How to understand why we are so different? What to follow during a relationship? Today I will help you understand this issue a little.
The question that worries everyone is what differences do men and women have and how can one learn to come to terms with these differences?
I will say right away that this is not detailed instructions. This is just a small “cheat sheet” for life :).
Change of mood. Women have a completely different level of emotionality, which means they have a different temperament than men. That is why in Basta’s song it is sung
“No, you’re not cruel, you’re just crazy, now you’re laughing, but a minute ago you were crying...”
For some reason, most men think that we do this on purpose. If only they knew how much we suffer from this :).
This is why we often make trouble, because they think that we shout and are nervous on purpose. Although in reality everything is very simple - in the morning your nail broke and you think that you are not beautiful enough.
Sex. Sex is always more important for men than for women. And at times. And precisely from the side that we did not suspect. Men are capable of cheating on their beloved women “without a second thought.” They may do this for the love of variety. We most often take revenge on guys through sex because they cheated on us, didn’t buy a fur coat, or didn’t tell us that they love us :). Thus, each of us hurts the other, without thinking about the root causes of what is happening.
Also, a relationship for a woman is the scheme “LOVE + RELATIONSHIP = SEX”, but for men it is “SEX + RELATIONSHIP = LOVE”. As you can see, the mathematical law “the sum does not change by changing the places of the terms” does not work in life.
Logics. For women it is special and unique. And whoever laughs at her is a fool :). Because it is female logic that can find a way out where there is none. And no amount of male “savvy” will help. Most often, men say that they are stumped by our conclusions. This is precisely the bone of contention between men and women. At any time. After all, we think differently than they do, which means we see events from a completely different perspective. Learn to talk to each other, and then it will become easier for you to be together!
New circumstances. Men change jobs less often, and they change many other things less often. Women, habits, cars. I'm not saying that's all. Majority. This is due to the fact that they take longer to get used to new life circumstances than we do. That is why it is difficult for them to understand why they should go on vacation to a new place, why change cafes for meetings, or why break up if everything “seems to be very good.” They don’t understand that we are always looking for something new, because we are sure that new is always better.
Sense of humor. Completely different jokes and love for different comedies. We watch different TV series, and it is men who choose films with harsh humor that is sometimes not clear to us.
Also, this sense of humor extends to relationships :). Everyone knows the joke
- You should at least buy me flowers. - Why, you seem to still be alive?
And they sincerely believe that this is normal!! Therefore, dear girls, understand that we are different and there is no escape from this.
Experiences. We also always experience them differently. Men, for example, prefer to spend time alone or in the company of their friends. With the help of various games and alcohol, they try to cope with life circumstances for which they were not prepared. Breakup of a relationship, or a loved one, collapse of plans. They sit in their little “cave” and do not require any sympathy.
Women, in turn, strive to surround themselves with affection and care from their mother or friends, and also, of course, from a loved one. We want to be held, hugged and promised that all adversity will pass and dissipate. Few men realize that you don’t want to be alone, even if you say “Leave me alone.”
Touchiness. There are completely different levels of touchiness in both women and men within the species. But the gap between species is even greater. Men (not all, of course) often quickly forget grievances, remembering only the good. But a woman is able to forgive a man even for betrayal. But never forget her.
That is why every scandal for no reason or reason we remember “Svetka from 9-B”.
Independence. Of course, every man fights for his independence. There are even those who do not build relationships or break them off precisely at the moment when they feel a threat to their inner freedom.
I don't know if this is good or bad. But it does happen. In turn, women have been playing “mother-daughter” since childhood and simply blossom at the thought that one day they will wear a white wedding dress.
What to do with such a phenomenon? NOTHING. Nothing helps. I advise you not to put pressure on the young man, not to try to force him to go to the registry office or start a relationship with you. Just become the one he can’t live without.
Bake pies and always be cheerful, show that you are also independent, don’t call three hundred times a day and don’t torture him on social networks. Don't do anything that a woman who doesn't have confidence in herself does.
I don't give a 100% guarantee, but there is always a chance to become the only one
This article is not a way to offend women or men, and is also not applicable to all people without exception. Remember Lera Moskva’s song “Different”? This is a wonderful track, the author of which is a very wise man
