How to do it so you stop being afraid. What should I do if I'm afraid to fight? Unsuccessful attempts to deal with fears only multiply them

Each of us is familiar with the feeling of fear. Moreover, some people are so afraid of certain things that they cannot control themselves. Often fear leads to trembling knees, numbness and the inability to do anything. In cases where completely ordinary objects, people or events become the cause of phobias, fear can significantly overshadow daily life, so it is imperative to fight it.

Overcoming fear is a rather difficult task. Very often, men and women who are tormented by one or another phobia turn to a professional psychologist for advice. There is nothing reprehensible in this, because strong fear in its essence is a rather serious disease, the treatment of which may require the help of a qualified doctor.

However, in most cases, you can cope with your phobias on your own, without resorting to the services of a specialist.

In this article we offer you several useful tips and recommendations that will definitely help you understand that you don’t need to be afraid of anything or anyone in life.

What fears do most people have?

Most people are afraid of the same thing.

So, the most common phobias among the population are the following:

• Fear of diseases, doctors, surgery and any medical procedures. The most common in this category is dentophobia, that is, an incredibly strong fear of the dentist. Unfortunately, people tend to be afraid of dental treatment. As a rule, such people have a negative past experience visits to the doctor during which they experienced unbearable pain;
• Fear of dogs and any other animals. In most cases, such a phobia is also a consequence of dog vinegar or bad experience interacting with certain animals;
• Aerophobia or fear of airspace is familiar to a huge number of men and women. different ages. Every time they go on a trip, such people tend to choose a land route, despite the fact that in this case they will have to get to their destination much longer. This concept in most cases implies a combination of fear of three things at once - heights, limited space and a possible plane crash;
• Natural disasters, or even a simple clap of thunder or flashing lightning, can also cause rapid heartbeat and other symptoms of extreme fear;
• Fears of the future are also quite common among the adult population. Such people do not set any goals for themselves because they are afraid that they will not be able to achieve them, and they never save money for the future, fearing that a crisis will happen in the world and all their finances will depreciate;
• In addition, many adults have the fear of the dark, which is widespread among children;
• In some cases, numbness and great discomfort necessitate the need to speak in front of a general public. This condition is called social phobia;
• Also among the most common fears we can confidently include the fear of spiders and other insects, as well as snakes, since it remains very popular at all times, especially among women;
• Extroverts may realize that they are very afraid of being alone and not being able to talk to anyone;
• Finally, modern youth spend a lot of time on the Internet and simply cannot imagine their lives without social networks. Girls and boys experience an incredible fear of being left without access to their various accounts and the World Wide Web as a whole.

How to learn not to be afraid of anything in life?

Despite the fact that people have different phobias, the mechanism for getting rid of any fears and concerns is by and large the same. In fact, overcoming the fear of someone or something is not so difficult, but for this you need to do serious work on yourself. Professional psychologists, through various conversations, trainings and influences on the human psyche, make it so that he understands that he has nothing left to be afraid of.

The following tips and recommendations will help you cope with fears on your own and understand how not to be afraid of anything or anyone:

• The first thing you have to do is admit to yourself that you are really scared. Many people try to explain their phobias in all possible ways, however, in order to overcome them, it is necessary, first of all, to realize them;
• In any situation where you feel fear, you should focus on your breathing and take as deep breaths as possible. If you breathe too quickly, the flow of oxygen to your brain will be limited, which will only make your body more stressed. Deep and measured breathing, on the contrary, calms the nervous system. In addition, by focusing on the movements of your diaphragm, you can take your mind off the object that frightens you;
• You should pull yourself together and try to realize that nothing terrible is happening, and all the problems are solely in your head. Regardless of whether the danger in front of you is real or imagined, your fearful brain greatly exaggerates the threat posed by it;
• Ask any questions you have to others;
• Start small. For example, if you are afraid of dogs, visit someone you know who has a small puppy or an adult small breed dog, and pick it up in your arms;
• Fight every fear, even the smallest one. Otherwise, all negative emotions will begin to multiply, intensify and spread to all areas of your life, and you will not even notice how you will acquire several more phobias;
• Try to find something good in everything. Believe me, the positive side can be found in absolutely any situation, even in one that frightens and worries you.

There is no need to be afraid of anything at all!

By avoiding decisive action and delaying events, we only increase fear. Unfortunately, it is human nature to find all possible excuses and excuses in order to postpone the situation of an unpleasant choice for us.

The problem is that everything has a price. Every time we avoid something, it increases our anxiety, and the event or conversation we are trying to put off only becomes more frightening in our imagination. This, by the way, is how many phobias are formed.

In the end, we come to the conclusion that much of what we once put off until better times - we didn’t learn the language, didn’t do what our partner asked us to do many times - begins to directly affect our career or relationships.

In addition, without acting decisively and boldly (at least in small things), over time we lose emotional stability and the ability to quickly recover from stress. Because such resilience is acquired from constantly overcoming, albeit small, challenges.

What we lack is not even emotional stability. This is the moment, the impulse, when we, without hesitation or hesitation, rush forward like into cold water to do what we consider right and necessary, instead of marking time on the shore.

How to become bolder and stop being afraid?

Minimize your chances of fear and maximize your chances of action.

1. Don't overthink it

It is especially difficult to decide when you are afraid of being rejected.

But I must tell you that our courage and determination have one strange quality - they melt over time. And the longer you wait, the less you have left. So if you decide to come up and talk to someone or, conversely, dot all the i's and leave, don't wait - do it.

2. Focus on getting over the threshold.

If you have an unpleasant conversation with a family member, determine for yourself what you want to say and what result you want to achieve. And then forget about it for a while and concentrate only on saying the first phrase. It happens that some people cannot work up the courage for weeks to say: “We need to talk.” Don't worry about how your conversation will go. Entering the situation means half winning the battle.

How to stop being afraid on the eve of a speech or interview? If you don't often speak in front of large audiences or are generally quiet, start small. Ask for directions several times in a row. Act despite the fear, it will pass very soon. The number of repetitions is important here.

Get used to the sound of your voice and being listened to and responded to, then work on your confidence and command of your audience. Read a long passage of your favorite humorous work in front of one of your friends or family. You will notice that very soon you will want to add expressiveness. Read like an actor, pause, watch the audience's reaction. You will come to the interview as a person who owns the audience.

4. Think about how good you will feel later.

When we hesitate to even approach something, it is draining. Remember the feeling after exams, when the whole summer is ahead. When you finally deal with something that has scared you for so long, you will experience the same freedom.

5. Imagine how many new doors will open for you

This is especially true for those moments when it is difficult for you to say goodbye to something old that you have long grown out of. How to stop being afraid to end a relationship that doesn’t suit you, but continues due to inertia? How can you gain the courage to change your life if it is surrounded by old, uncomfortable furniture, in a place you don’t like? Changes will take a lot of your time and resources, but the results will bring relief.

6. Set a specific time for yourself.

Sign up for a gym or doctor's appointment in advance. Even if this is a conversation with someone close to you who is always nearby, a specific date will give the event inevitability.

7. Do it with someone

A proven way to stop being afraid is to take the first step with someone. To become bolder, we need the support of those who know us well and who believe in us. Feel free to ask your friends to come with you to the interview and wait for you in the hallway.

Some quite adult people do not dare to come to the gym and start training for years only for this reason. There are those who find it difficult to come to a psychologist and finally understand their problems - start with trainings, where there will be many of you and everyone will be in an equal position. You will receive not only the support of a psychologist, but also the help of group members.

Some are endowed with greater courage from birth, others are more timid. But this does not mean that you will remain the same tomorrow. Start working on your inner resilience and train your communication skills. All this is quite real.

Based on material from psychologies.ru

Internal fears sometimes prevent a person from developing and moving on. But without courage you will never achieve success and your goals. How to stop being afraid and start moving towards your dream?

Often a person is afraid of something. This could be fear of the dark, airplanes, girls, public, illness, work and life in general. Fear signals us about danger, but what to do if it prevents us from acting and paralyzes our entire life?

How to stop being afraid

Comfort zone

A person has been taught since childhood that life is dangerous. His parents looked after him for a long time, and he almost never encountered difficulties real life. When a person grows up, he begins to be afraid and wary of everything. A person tries to protect himself from everything. He sits scared in his comfort zone and has no intention of leaving it.

What to do and how to stop being afraid? The most interesting and promising things are outside the comfort zone. There are interesting acquaintances, travel, work, success, the opposite sex and new life. It is impossible to achieve something different by doing the same old things. It's time to make attempts to look at what is beyond the horizon and study it.

Fear of mistakes

People think that making a mistake is embarrassing and their self-esteem will suffer. A mistake is not a failure, as some people believe. Mistake is normal. Only the one who does nothing does not commit them.

How to stop being afraid? Stop taking care of yourself and your self-esteem. A person is not a crystal vase, and you cannot escape from abrasions and bumps. It's like riding a bike. In the beginning you will fall a lot of times until you learn how to ride.

How success works

Sometimes people have no idea how life and success works. People who succeed immediately on one try are rare. Many successful people have failed several times. Big failures did not stop them, but taught them to fight problems and look for solutions.

How to stop being afraid? Fortune favors the brave and persistent, not the cowardly and those who give up after a couple of attempts. Take action, don't expect a miracle. Create opportunities and grab them. Try again and again. Time flies very quickly, and you will not have a second life.

How to stop being afraid of everything? This is the question most people ask. In fact, there are only a few such individuals. Human nature is designed in such a way that it is simply impossible to avoid negative emotions associated with specific or imaginary fears. If fears develop into phobias, this has a detrimental effect on the quality of life, destroys personality, and causes a lot of problems.

Fears and anxieties: what are they?

If a person were not afraid of anything, he would be akin to a robot, without emotions and sensations inherent only to people. This option eliminates many problems, but introduces meaninglessness and insincerity into life. In reality, an individual must understand how not to be afraid of fear? To do this, you need to understand the cause of fear and choose the best way to combat it.

The feeling of fear arises as a natural reaction to a real danger to life or health. If the fear is subconscious, specialist intervention will be required. In an advanced state, fear manifests itself not just as psychological tension and anxiety, but as a result, the person experiences terrible discomfort in stressful situations. Physically, this is manifested by rapid heartbeat, sweating, fainting, and headache. The main purpose of fear is to protect a person from actions or objects that pose a real threat to the body. If this emotion is uncontrollable or not comprehended, take appropriate measures.

Causality

Without experiencing fear, a person would lose the boundaries between comfort and situations that are truly life-threatening. All people are afraid. Think not about imaginary fears, but about how to minimize the destructive impact of negativity. Fear should not control you, but you should control it. This approach will allow you to maintain sound thinking in any critical situation.

Causes of fears:

• childhood psychological trauma;
• loss of a loved one;
• quarrels, problems at work or in the family;
• an unexpected event that is not connected with reality.
• severe stress.

The best way to overcome fear is to analyze the root cause of fear and independently research ways to overcome it. If this does not help, contact a hypnologist or psychotherapist who will prescribe a course of therapy, for example Baturin Nikita Valerievich. Usually, 5–10 sessions are enough to solve the problem.

How to work through fear so as not to be afraid?

Most people's fears arise from negative experiences in childhood or adolescence. Positivity manifests itself in communication with authoritative and spiritually developed people. Confidential conversations and support enable a person to develop himself as an individual, overcome misunderstanding and fear of the world around him.

Ways to deal with fears:

1. Meditations and autogenic training aimed at increasing emotional stability. Such techniques also improve the physical capabilities of the individual. There is an understanding that it is better to live in harmony with your neighbor, regardless of the external situation.
2. Psychotherapy and hypnosis. These techniques are used after consultation with a specialist, after diagnosing the real problem of subconscious fear of something or someone. Find out more about this on the channel.
3. Drug treatment. It is used in exceptional cases, aimed at reducing critical manifestations, causing addiction from tranquilizers or antidepressants.
4. Traditional medicine. Here they use herbal teas and tinctures that balance the psychological and physical state of a person.

It is worth noting that meditation makes it possible to reveal inner world personality, understand the cause of anxiety, neutralize the impact of negative emotions. As a result, a person becomes more optimistic and cheerful.

How to stop being afraid of everything if there is a serious wound in your soul? Often the problem is solved by talking with an authoritative person whom you can trust in everything. A close person in a confidential dialogue with an expression of what he is thinking is the best medicine. A psychologist or hypnologist acts as regulators who correctly guide the individual and find the root cause of fear in his subconscious. The success of getting rid of fears is a person’s deliberate decision to fight them on his own.

Setting realistic goals and joy after achieving your plans is considered. A person must direct all efforts to obtain results and make dreams come true. Individual victories perfectly motivate, lead forward, liberate, and strengthen character. Strong and successful people move forward and achieve success with the motto “Fear nothing.”

The right inner attitude copes with any fears and anxieties. Doubts and fears are the main reason for inhibition and failure to fulfill a person’s desires. The main thing is that they come from a sensible head and are not aimed at harming others.

The individual experiencing constant fear, susceptible to stress. This leads to psycho-emotional disorders and disruptions in the functioning of the whole organism. The correct formation of desires and emotions will show that you are able to overcome any obstacles and solve the most difficult problems.

To get rid of fears, just take a few simple steps:

1. Relax and calm down. It is necessary to free yourself from the problem that has fallen on you and switch to another task. This will make it possible to assess the situation differently, to consider it from a different angle. This is the most important stage; if it’s successful, it means you’re on the right track.
2. Try to figure out the root cause of fear yourself. Regardless of whether it is an object, a certain situation, or the consequences of your own actions, evaluate all possible pros and cons, then draw the appropriate conclusions.
3. Take a notebook and write down a table of three sections in it. In the first column, mark what worries and fears. Fill out the second column with information that will help you get rid of anxieties and fears. Use the third column to enter actions that will make it possible to permanently solve the existing problem. An integrated approach will determine the goal and methods of solution. This way you will bring the successful outcome of the case as close as possible.
4. Talking through the problem. If there is a problem with the previous steps, voice your concerns to a loved one or loved one. An alternative option is to visit numerous forums on a topic of interest. This way you can remain incognito and find out the opinions of many users.
5. "Double protection" To maintain or increase self-confidence, use this method. Think it through possible options development of expected events. This will help maintain composure, even in the most negative situation. It will be much easier to find an acceptable solution.
6. Choose any small object in the form of a talisman or a symbol of peace. Think of it as a lifeline or an island of paradise that can help in solving any difficult situations. The main thing is not to be fanatical about such things, as this can add new fears.
7. Spend more time with loved ones who will support you in any situation, do not forget to reciprocate their feelings.

The main weapon against fears is a smile and inner joy. Look for vulnerable places in your fears that can bring positivity. Soon there will be no trace of him left. If you don't believe me, check it out!

If your hands begin to sweat, dry mouth and trembling limbs appear - think about what you are afraid of? Don't be left alone with your worries. Seek help from loved ones or

Shyness in front of people and fear of communication is a common problem. Most often, introverted people and teenagers encounter it. It is for them that it is extremely important what impression they make on others and whether others like them.

What is shyness? In psychology, this is a person’s state and the behavior caused by it, the main features of which are uncertainty, indecision, awkwardness, constraint in movements and manifestations of one’s own personality.

Different psychological schools explain the root causes of shyness in their own way and, accordingly, offer different options solving the problem. Each person decides for himself which of them are closer to his personality, character and life experience.

1. Differential psychology. According to this theory, shyness is an innate quality and is inherited. Confidence cannot be learned. A rather pessimistic view of the problem, because... an innate personality trait cannot be changed.
2. Behaviorism. According to the theory of behaviorism, any human behavior is a reaction to incoming stimuli, which, under certain circumstances and the strength of emotional involvement, becomes part of the personality. So it is with shyness - people were unable to master the feeling of fear in response to the stimuli of the social environment, which ultimately led to pathological uncertainty in communicating with people.
3. Psychoanalysis. Psychoanalysts explain shyness by the presence of an unconscious conflict in the personality structure. In their opinion, this is a reaction of the unconscious to unsatisfied instinctual needs and a conflict between moral standards, reality and instincts.
4. Individual psychology. Followers of this trend actively studied shyness and the closely related “inferiority complex,” which appears in childhood when a child begins to compare himself with his peers, often encounters his own imperfections and begins to be embarrassed about his appearance, his abilities, his family, etc. If a child does not have enough self-confidence, he becomes fearful, withdrawn, and passive. However, it is in this direction that psychology is given special attention opportunities for personal self-development, i.e. Shyness is not a predetermined problem, which means that it is possible to get rid of it by working on yourself.
5. The theory of "high reactivity". According to her, the tendency to be shy is the body’s reaction to overload. In this case, the consequences of this reaction can be of two options:

• the child tends to “avoid”, does not like to communicate and get to know each other, becomes insecure and fearful in public;
• the child enters into a fight and is overly self-confident.

Shyness can be based on two reasons: natural and social. Natural means character, temperament, type nervous system. Under social – the influence of education, environment, communication within the family.

Why is shyness dangerous?

Shyness and fear of people have common roots.

• the second is more related to personality pathologies and manifests itself in the experience of a feeling of fear in the presence of strangers and in the process of communication;
• the first is considered a common phenomenon and does not cause concern among parents if their child is inclined to be shy in company and avoid strangers, and is afraid to meet others. An adult considers this quality a character trait and a specific temperament that one does not need to do anything about, but just has to come to terms with.

Pathological fear of people is dealt with with medication or through sessions with a psychologist, but shyness is most often ignored. However, this is not entirely true.

In the context of life, shyness and inability to communicate can sometimes bring a person many problems and missed opportunities if you do not start working with it.

Shyness in most cases leads to:

• narrowing your circle of contacts. It is difficult for a shy person to make acquaintances and communicate freely. Typically, such people limit themselves to interaction within the family circle. At the same time, most often they suffer because of this - because they actually need diverse communication;
• Shyness affects the objectivity of the perception of the situation. When a problem arises or stressful situation– a shy person often becomes illogical and forgetful;
• a shy person can rarely speak openly and defend his opinion;
• shyness is the cause of depression and reduced emotional background; shy people tend to feel dissatisfaction;
• The poor emotional and social life of a person who tends to be shy leads to physical weakness and fatigue, muscle tension, and stooping.

Based on the consequences of shyness listed above, it becomes obvious that it needs to be dealt with.

Shyness not only leads to negative experiences of fear and uncertainty, but also reduces social adaptation and significantly affects the mental and physical level of personal development.

What to do?

Psychologists have developed exercises, by performing which a person will understand how to stop being afraid of people, reduce general level anxiety and a tendency to be shy in relationships with people and overcome your shyness.

1. In any communication situation, when you begin to be afraid of others, remember that shyness is an ordinary feeling that has no objective reasons. It arises on the basis of a chain of thoughts that follows the feeling - I will be funny, I will look ugly, I will not be able to speak decently, I am afraid to answer, etc. And all this happens in your mind, although in reality everything may look exactly the opposite. Always keep this in mind when you start to feel shy or afraid of people.
2. Act despite the feeling of shyness that appears. Try to meet new people more and talk openly about your feelings.

Each time you act to overcome your fears, you add a new positive experience to the “piggy bank” of your consciousness, on which your courage and confidence in relationships with people will subsequently be built.

1. Learn to talk and respond, thinking only about your purpose of communication, discarding all other thoughts. Forget all the “what if.” Keep in mind only your goal and options for achieving it.
2. When communicating with people, avoid excessive politeness and large quantity introductory phrases. Construct your conversation clearly and do not mumble. Learn to speak a little, but to the point.
3. In moments of particular anxiety and fear, use breathing techniques. In yoga, they are actively used and help manage your condition and minimize embarrassment.

How to “remove” shyness from your life

In addition to certain exercises that reduce situational shyness, allow you to manage your condition and not be shy in communication, psychologists have outlined rules for relating to life, yourself and other people. By building your lifestyle according to them, the question of how to stop being afraid of people will be closed:

1. Understand (on your own or with the help of a psychologist) the reasons for your shyness. Where did it come from? Why should you be shy and afraid and what benefits do you have from this? Write down the realizations you gain and refer back to them periodically.
2. Live with the understanding that people are primarily concerned with themselves, and there are no spotlights on you.
3. Know your strengths and weaknesses . Don’t forget that there are no ideal people, they are not divided into “good” and “bad” and you are not alone with your problem.
4. Always find reasons to praise and thank yourself. This needs to be done regularly.
5. Strive to communicate more, get acquainted with new opinions, take an interest and study others, less “digging” into your own experiences. The tendency to reflect is an important quality, but only in moderation. Excessive self-analysis drives you in circles, moving you away from reality and interaction with others. Strive to do, not dream.
6. Exercise regularly. Movement is the basis of life. Sport allows you to release accumulated negative energy of fear and anxiety.
7. Always be prepared that you may be refused or not appreciated. Figure out why this scares you and what is the worst thing that could happen? You should learn to accept the word “no”, don’t try to please everyone.
8. Give yourself the right to make mistakes. Perfectionism will be a bad thing for you. Remember, it is impossible to learn something without mistakes.

Only those who do nothing make no mistakes.

1. Don't miss out on the opportunity to practice your social skills and communicate more. Learn from those who you think have overcome their shyness. Go to trainings on communication skills or public speaking from time to time, where you can learn not to be shy and speak openly about your feelings and desires.
2. Find comfortable communities for yourself. You shouldn’t do like everyone else - if the majority of people around you like to have fun in clubs and socialize at parties - this does not mean that you should do the same.
3. Always be careful what you say and how you say it. Notice people's reactions. Forget and distract yourself from your fear. In moments of anxiety, repeat: “I’m not afraid of people, they won’t do anything bad to me, I don’t have to please everyone.”

Final comments

Shyness reduces our life potential and deprives us of many opportunities. This personality quality has long been recognized as a problem in psychology and is being actively researched. The ability to communicate is the key to success in social life.

Based on most psychological theories, shyness is not a congenital defect or a disease.

You can deal with it on your own if you regularly work on yourself. By doing certain exercises when you need to communicate with other people, it is possible to cope with shyness here and now, and by making the above rules the basis of your life, you can enjoy communication and forget about the problem of shyness.