How strong people solve problems fb2. How strong people solve problems. Who are they - strong people

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Overcoming obstacles is the timeless art of turning challenges into victories.

Ryan Holiday

Preface

In the year 170, at night in a tent on the front line of the Roman troops in Germany, Marcus Aurelius, Emperor of the Roman Empire, sat down to write down a few thoughts. Or perhaps it happened in the wee hours of the morning in his palace in Rome. Or he put to good use a few free minutes between gladiator fights, distracting himself from the bloody massacre in the Colosseum arena. It doesn't matter where exactly it happened. What matters is that this man, known today as the last of the five great Roman emperors, sat down to write down a few thoughts.

And not for the public, not for publication, but for myself. What he wrote down is, without a doubt, one of the most effective formulas for overcoming negative situations. This formula involves taking advantage of what happens, rather than simply achieving success despite the circumstances.

At that moment, Marcus Aurelius wrote down only one paragraph. Only a few thoughts contained in it belong to him. Almost every one of them, in one form or another, can be found in the records of his mentors and idols. But in these few words he so clearly formulated and expressed an enduring idea that he managed to eclipse the names of the great philosophers who lived before him: Chrysippus, Zeno, Cleanthes, Ariston, Apollonius, Junius Rusticus, Epictetus, Seneca and Musonius Rufus.

This is more than enough for us.

Our actions may encounter obstacles, but there are no obstacles to our intentions or plans. For we are capable of adjusting and adapting. Consciousness adapts and turns to its advantage the obstacle that stands in the way of our actions.

He concluded this passage with great words, which rightfully became an aphorism.

An obstacle to action promotes action. What stands in the way becomes the way.

In the words of Marcus Aurelius lies the secret of the art known as the ability to turn obstacles to one's advantage. If we use this approach, we always find a way around an obstacle or find another way to get where we want to go. Regression or problems are always expected, but they are never permanent. Obstacles can give us strength.

Marcus Aurelius knew the value of his words. He ruled for almost nineteen years, during which he survived several protracted wars, a horrific pestilence, betrayal, an attempt to remove one of his closest allies from the throne, constant and difficult trips throughout the empire - from Asia Minor to Syria, Egypt, Greece and Austria - unexpected depletion of the treasury, co-ruling with an incapable and greedy half-brother, and much more.

The power he wielded never made him lose his sanity, nor did the stress and burden of hardship. He rarely fell into excesses and anger, and never succumbed to hatred and disappointment. As the essayist Matthew Arnold noted in 1863, Marcus Aurelius was a man who occupied the highest position in the world, and, by the general opinion of those around him, he was worthy of it.

We will see that the wisdom captured in this short passage from the writings of Marcus Aurelius was also possessed by other men and women who, like the Roman emperor, embodied it in life. Examples of this appear with amazing consistency at all times.

We can trace this thread from the decline and fall of the Roman Empire to the creative rise of the Renaissance and the extraordinary achievements of the Enlightenment. It is present in the pioneering spirit of the American West and the perseverance of the Federalists during the American Civil War, and is evident in the courage of civil rights leaders and the courage of the heroic survivors of prison camps in Vietnam. Today it is woven into the DNA of Silicon Valley entrepreneurs.

This kind of philosophy empowers successful people and helps leaders in positions of responsibility or challenge. Whether on the battlefield or in the boardroom, around the world and in all ages, people of every nationality, social status, gender and occupation have to face obstacles, overcome them and learn to turn them to their advantage.

This struggle continues throughout our lives. Each person, perhaps without even realizing it, is a continuator of an ancient tradition, using it to move forward in an endless space of opportunities and difficulties, trials and triumphs.

We are the rightful heirs of this tradition, inheriting it by birthright. Whatever we encounter, we have a choice: stop before the obstacle or continue moving and overcome it.

We may not be emperors, but the world still constantly tests our strength. He asks: “What are you worth? Are you able to cope with the difficulties that inevitably come your way? Are you ready to show that you are capable of much?”

Most answer these questions in the affirmative. Only a few prove that they are not only able to cope with all difficulties, but also seek them out. Thanks to this they become the best people- what they would never have become otherwise.

It's time for you to find out if you are one of those people.

Introduction

You have an obstacle in front of you - a discouraging, irrelevant, unclear, unexpected problem that prevents you from doing what you want. The same problem that you thought until the last moment you would be able to happily bypass. You secretly hoped it would never arise. Why are you so unlucky?

But what if there are benefits associated with it—benefits that only you can receive? What then? What are you going to do? And what do you think other people usually do?

Perhaps they are doing what they have always done, or what you are doing now - nothing.

Let's be honest: most of us are paralyzed. Whatever our personal plans, many are stopped by obstacles that arise.

We wish things were different, but that's the way things are.

We know what is blocking our progress. Systemic factors: the destruction of social, economic and political institutions, the ever-increasing cost of education, the disintegration of technology. Personal circumstances: short stature, mature age, poverty, stress, lack of connections and support, lack of self-confidence. How skillfully we can compile catalogs of the reasons that hinder our development!

Every obstacle is unique to each of us. But our reaction to obstacles is always the same: fear, despair, confusion, helplessness, depression, irritation.

You know what you would like to do, but it seems to you that you are surrounded and suppressed by an invisible enemy. You try to get out, but every time something blocks your path, chases you and stops any of your movements. You are left with enough freedom to think that you are capable of moving; so that it seems to you that only you are to blame for not being able to move forward or gain speed.

We are not satisfied with our work, our personal relationships, our place in the world. We are trying to get out, but for some reason we remain in place.

So we stop trying and do nothing.

We blame our bosses, the economy, politicians, other people, we declare ourselves failures and our goals unattainable. In reality, we only have ourselves to blame, our attitude and approach to problems.

A huge number of books have been written about achieving success, but no one has explained to us how to overcome failures, how to relate to obstacles and overcome them, so we do not move forward. Surrounded on all sides, many of us are disoriented, passive and depressed. We don't have the slightest idea what to do.

However, not all people are paralyzed. We watch in awe of those who manage to turn the very obstacles that stand in our way into a launching pad for moving forward. How do they do this? What's the secret?

People have previously faced greater challenges, dealt with greater risks, and had fewer tools to solve their problems. They had to deal with the same obstacles that we have to deal with today, plus some that they worked hard to remove for their descendants. However, this did not help us.

What did those people have? What are we missing? The answer is simple: techniques and belief systems to understand, have the right attitude and overcome the obstacles that life puts in our path.

John D. Rockefeller had such a belief system - in his case it was common sense and self-discipline. Demosthenes, the great Athenian orator, had such a belief system - in his case it was an unbridled desire for self-improvement through action and practice. Abraham Lincoln had such a belief system - in his case it was humility, endurance and compassion.

In this book you will come across other names more than once: Ulysses Grant, Thomas Edison, Margaret Thatcher, Samuel Zemurray, Amelia Earhart, Erwin Rommel, Dwight Eisenhower, Richard Wright, Jack Johnson, Theodore Roosevelt, Steve Jobs, James Stockdale, Laura Wilder, Barack Obama.

Some of these men and women experienced not only unimaginable horrors, from imprisonment to crippling and disabling illnesses, but also ordinary life disappointments not too different from ours. They faced rivalries, political opposition, personal dramas, resistance, conservatism, ruin, stress, economic disasters and other, much worse things.

The severity of these problems changed them. This change was described by former Intel CEO Andy Grove when talking about what happens to business ventures in turbulent times: “Bad companies are destroyed by crisis. Good companies are in crisis. The crisis only makes outstanding companies stronger.”

Great people, like great companies, find opportunities to turn their weaknesses into strengths. This feat seems amazing and even touching. They take what should have stopped them—perhaps the very thing that is blocking your progress right now—and use it to move forward.

Overall quality: Obstacles became fuel for their ambitions. Nothing could stop them. They refused to get discouraged and give up. Any obstacle only fueled the fire raging within them.

These people knew how to use obstacles to their advantage. They put into practice the words of Marcus Aurelius and followed the traditions of the ancient Stoics 1
I find Stoicism a deeply fascinating and critically important philosophy, but I understand that you live in the real world and don't have time to sit through a history lecture. You need real problem-solving strategies, and that's what my book is about. But if you have some free time, you can always find a couple of books on the philosophy of Stoicism.

(whom Cicero called the only true philosophers), although they may have never read their works. They had the ability to face obstacles with courage, the courage to overcome them, and the will to survive in a world that was, for the most part, beyond their ability to understand and control.

Let's be honest. In most cases, we do not find ourselves in terrible situations in which we have no choice but to endure. On the contrary, we encounter minor problems or find ourselves in uncomfortable situations. Or we persistently strive for something, but we see that the situation exceeds our capabilities, that we have exaggerated our strengths or have exhausted our supply of ideas. In such cases, the same approach applies. Turn the situation to your advantage. Find something good in her. Use it to move forward.

It's very simple. Simple, but, for obvious reasons, not easy at all.

Here you will not find sentimental and vague optimism. This book doesn't teach you how to convince yourself that things aren't so bad when they're bad, or how to turn the other cheek. There will be no folk proverbs or amusing but completely impractical parables here.

This is not a scientific monograph or a book on the philosophy of Stoicism. Many books have already been written about Stoicism, often by the most outstanding thinkers of all times and peoples. There is no point in rewriting what has already been written - it is better to read the original. No philosophical system seems as relevant as Stoicism. It seems as if the works of the Stoics were written last year, not a millennium ago.

But I have done my best to collect, comprehend and publish the lessons that Stoicism teaches us and the corresponding techniques. Ancient philosophy never strived for originality and authorial novelty - all writers tried to convey and clarify the wisdom of their great predecessors, which came down with books, diary entries, poems and stories. And they have all been melted down in the crucible of human experience for thousands of years.

This book will provide you with the collective wisdom that will help you cope with a task we are all familiar with - overcoming obstacles: mental, physical, emotional and imaginary.

We encounter them every day, and our society is paralyzed by them. If this book helps you even a little to think about and overcome obstacles, that will be enough. But my goal is higher. I want to show you how to turn every obstacle into an advantage.

So this book is about ruthless pragmatism and historical examples that illustrate the art of relentless tenacity and tireless courage. It will teach you how to get out of the most unpleasant situations, how to turn many of the negative situations that we encounter in our lives into positive experiences, or at least benefit from them, turning failure into success.

I'm not going to teach you how to convince yourself that it's not bad that it hasn't gotten worse. No, you will learn to see the best - the opportunity for a new start, moving forward or in a new, better direction. You will learn not just to be positive, but to have a creative attitude towards life and take advantage of every opportunity.

It is not enough to resign yourself, consoling yourself that it could have been worse. You need to be able to make your life better. And you can do it.

Because it's possible. And this book will teach you this.

The obstacles we face

There is an ancient Zen story about a king whose people became lazy and indifferent. Unsatisfied with this situation, the king decided to teach his subjects a lesson. His plan was simple: he would place a large boulder in the middle of the main road - so that the stone would completely block the entrance to the city - and he would hide nearby and watch people's reactions.

How will they react? Will they team up to remove the stone from the road? Or will they give up all action, turn around and return home?

With growing frustration, the king watched as his subjects, one by one, approached the obstacle, turned around, and walked away. Or, at best, they half-heartedly tried to move the boulder, but quickly gave up trying. Many openly cursed the king, fate, or complained about the inconvenience, but no one did anything to eliminate it.

A few days later, a lone peasant set off for the city along the same route. He didn't turn off the road. Straining with all his might, he tried to move the boulder and clear the way. Then an idea occurred to him: he went into the nearby forest to look for something that could be used as leverage. Finally he returned with a large stick, with which he was able to move the massive stone out of the way.

Under the stone he found a purse of gold coins and a note from the king, which said:

The obstacle on the way is the way. Never forget that every obstacle contains an opportunity to improve our situation.

What's holding you back?

Physical data: body size, race, distance, disability, money.

Mental barriers: fear, uncertainty, lack of experience, prejudice.

Perhaps you are not taken seriously or you think you are too old. Or maybe you lack support and resources, or your options are limited by current legislation. Perhaps you are limited by your own obligations or false goals and doubts in your abilities.

One way or another, now you are here and we are in the same boat.

Obstacles do exist. Nobody argues with this.

But look at those who were here before you: athletes who were too short; pilots who did not have good eyesight; dreamers ahead of their time; people belonging to one race or another; losers who failed to graduate from school; those suffering from dyslexia; illegitimate; immigrants; nouveau riche; fanatics; adherents; dreamers; people who started from scratch, coming from places where their very existence was threatened daily. What happened to them?

Of course, many of them gave up and retreated. But some survived. They took the advice to work twice as hard as a challenge. They tried very hard, showed perseverance, looked for workarounds and weak points, looked out for allies among hostile individuals. Of course, they suffered a lot of punches. Almost everything they encountered along the way was an obstacle that they had to overcome.

All these difficulties opened up new opportunities for them. And people used them. Thanks to them they achieved success. And we can learn this from them.

If you can't find a job, are struggling against discrimination, are struggling to make ends meet, are suffering from poor self-esteem, are facing an aggressive opponent, are dealing with an employee or student with whom you just can't connect, are experiencing a writer's block, then you should know that there is always a way out of every situation. When faced with adversity, you can always turn it to your advantage if you follow the example of successful people.

All great victories in any field—politics, business, art, or romance—involve solving vexing problems with a potent cocktail of creativity, focus, and courage. When you have a goal, obstacles teach you how to get where you want to go—they show you the way. Benjamin Franklin wrote, “We are taught by what hurts us.”

These days, most obstacles are internal rather than external. Since the end of World War II, we have experienced the greatest period of prosperity in human history. The number of armies has decreased, the number of fatal diseases has decreased, and the number of security guarantees has increased significantly. But the world still rarely gives us what we expect.

In place of confrontation with the external enemy, internal tension came. We experience professional disappointments and feel helpless. Our expectations are not met, and we still experience the same depressing emotions familiar to people at all times: grief, pain, sadness of loss.

Many of our problems are caused by abundance: the disintegration of technology, unhealthy food, and traditions that tell us how we should live our lives. We are lazy, indifferent and fearful in the face of conflict. Prosperous times relax a person.

Abundance can also be a barrier, as many people can attest.

Our generation, like no other, needs a specific approach to overcoming obstacles and thriving. This approach should show how we can turn problems to our advantage and use them as a canvas to create artistic masterpieces. This flexible approach is equally useful to the entrepreneur, the artist, the conqueror, the coach, the aspiring writer, the sage and the busy mother of a family.

Overcoming obstacles

Overcoming obstacles involves three important factors.

It begins with our perception of specific problems, our attitude and approach to them; it then requires energy and creativity to actively break down barriers and turn them into opportunities for movement; and finally, cultivating and maintaining the inner will that allows us to survive difficulties and defeats.

These are the three interdependent, interrelated and circumstantial factors: perception, action and will.

It's a simple process (but of course, as mentioned, not easy at all).

We will look at how this process was used by prominent historical figures, titans of business and literature. Through in-depth discussions of specific examples of each stage, we will learn to implement this approach into our own practice and, along the way, understand how to open new paths when a door closes on us.

From these success stories, we will understand how to overcome common obstacles and apply a common winning approach to our lives. After all, obstacles are not only expected, but also necessary, since they are an opportunity to test one’s strength, try out new approaches and ultimately win.

Obstacles open the way.

Ryan Holiday

How strong people solve problems

Overcoming obstacles is the timeless art of turning challenges into victories.

Ryan Holiday

Preface

This is more than enough for us.

Our actions may encounter obstacles, but there are no obstacles to our intentions or plans. For we are capable of adjusting and adapting. Consciousness adapts and turns to its advantage the obstacle that stands in the way of our actions.

He concluded this passage with great words, which rightfully became an aphorism.

An obstacle to action promotes action. What stands in the way becomes the way.

From what we know, we can conclude that he actually saw all these obstacles as an opportunity to improve in the virtues of patience, courage, humility, resourcefulness, prudence, justice and creativity. The power he wielded never made him lose his sanity, nor did the stress and burden of hardship. He rarely fell into excesses and anger, and never succumbed to hatred and disappointment. As the essayist Matthew Arnold noted in 1863, Marcus Aurelius was a man who occupied the highest position in the world, and, by the general opinion of those around him, he was worthy of it.

We are the rightful heirs of this tradition, inheriting it by birthright. Whatever we encounter, we have a choice: stop before the obstacle or continue moving and overcome it.

Most answer these questions in the affirmative. Only a few prove that they are not only able to cope with all difficulties, but also seek them out. Thanks to this, they become better people - what they would never have become otherwise.

It's time for you to find out if you are one of those people.

Introduction

But what if there are benefits associated with it—benefits that only you can receive? What then? What are you going to do? And what do you think other people usually do?

Perhaps they are doing what they have always done, or what you are doing now - nothing.

Let's be honest: most of us are paralyzed. Whatever our personal plans, many are stopped by obstacles that arise.

We wish things were different, but that's the way things are.

We know what is blocking our progress. Systemic factors: the destruction of social, economic and political institutions, the ever-increasing cost of education, the disintegration of technology. Personal circumstances: short stature, middle age, poverty, stress, lack of connections and support, lack of self-confidence. How skillfully we can compile catalogs of the reasons that hinder our development!

Every obstacle is unique to each of us. But our reaction to obstacles is always the same: fear, despair, confusion, helplessness, depression, irritation.

We are not satisfied with our work, our personal relationships, our place in the world. We are trying to get out, but for some reason we remain in place.

So we stop trying and do nothing.

Ryan Holiday

How strong people solve problems

* * *

Overcoming obstacles is the timeless art of turning challenges into victories.

Ryan Holiday

Preface

This is more than enough for us.

He concluded this passage with great words, which rightfully became an aphorism.

An obstacle to action promotes action. What stands in the way becomes the way.

We are the rightful heirs of this tradition, inheriting it by birthright. Whatever we encounter, we have a choice: stop before the obstacle or continue moving and overcome it.

It's time for you to find out if you are one of those people.

Introduction

But what if there are benefits associated with it—benefits that only you can receive? What then? What are you going to do? And what do you think other people usually do?

Perhaps they are doing what they have always done, or what you are doing now - nothing.

Let's be honest: most of us are paralyzed. Whatever our personal plans, many are stopped by obstacles that arise.

We wish things were different, but that's the way things are.

Buddhist monks, known for their wisdom, say about problems in a person’s life: “Who can know what is bad luck and what is good?”

If you take a few minutes away from the string of affairs and worries and look around, you will notice that there are always two categories of people in our environment. Some people succeed in everything they try, while others are constantly concerned about how to solve a problem that arises in one or another area of their life.

A problem is a message from the Universe

We dream of a day when there will be no problem left in our life. It seems like you can go crazy from their number. Problems in the family, in business, with children, health problems... Where to find a way out of this carousel, how to deal with the ups and downs of life that fate sends?

But there is no need to fight at all, just as there is no need to avoid such situations. Everything that happens in our lives does not happen just like that. In this form, the Universe sends us coded signs that are designed for us to ask ourselves:

What part of my life is affected by this situation?
What actions of mine could have become the root of these troubles?
About my thoughts?
About my lifestyle?
About an alternative path that would be worth taking?

The most important thing that you should never do if you need to find a way out of a difficult situation is not to feel sorry for yourself and not to give up. If you do this, you will miss the most important message that is intended exclusively for you.

When we write “problem” we mean “opportunity”

Do you want to know how strong people solve problems? They believe in themselves and look for opportunities in any situation, and believe me, they always exist.

My friend was in a very difficult situation when her common-law husband left her. The situation is banal to the point of disgrace: the rival turned out to be more attractive than the bored woman who devoted herself entirely to her family and their two common children.

Elena was left without money, without a profession, without the slightest prospects even for tomorrow. The only thing that kept her from going crazy was that the children demanded attention and care. It was even impossible to cry in front of them, because then quiet tears turned into a friendly choir of sobbing soloists.

By telling herself that every problem is just an opportunity, Elena found a way out of her predicament.

She reflected on her life and realized: in her family, and in the family of her parents, she always had to be dependent. She was constantly told what she should do and how to act in a given situation.

The soft and indecisive Elena had severely low self-esteem. She promised herself that for the sake of her children she would definitely stand on her feet and gain self-confidence.

While forced to stay at home, back in that “former” life, Elena learned to make amazingly beautiful flower arrangements, marked by impeccable taste. Friends and acquaintances always asked her to help with the design family holidays.

Now Lena decided to get a job as a simple worker in a flower shop. At the same time, she persistently worked on her outlook on life and self-esteem. Now my friend is the owner of a small but well-established flower business, and her design skills are used not only at home parties and are paid very well.

Happiness in his personal life was not long in coming, Elena’s husband is a very kind and kind-hearted person, mutual understanding reigns in their family. Now my friend gives advice on how strong people solve problems.

Who managed to overcome the problem

The famous American brain power researcher John Kehoe gives in his books an example of how to use it for good. difficult situations different people:

US President Franklin D. Roosevelt, unable to cope without a wheelchair, led the country out of the “Great Depression.” He couldn't even sit on his own because he suffered from paraplegia.
Australian Prime Minister Bob Hawke, who served four terms in office, was previously forced to struggle with alcohol addiction.
Champion Olympic Games Wilma Rudolph, not only was born into a very poor black family, but also suffered from polio at the age of 10. Vilma thought she was going crazy, reality was so unfair to her. Faith in the best and optimism took their toll, and the girl won three Olympic gold medals.
The famous runner of the nineties Gail Devers, a few weeks before her performance at the Barcelona Olympics, was suddenly covered with terrible ulcers from head to toe. After a long search for the cause, it turned out that this was a rare disease that threatened the girl with amputation of her feet.
Gail decided to fight to the end, and a couple of days before the scheduled operation, the disease suddenly subsided. The girl won the 100-meter race at the games in Spain, and four years later became the Olympic champion in Atlanta.

All of these examples of how strong people solve problems have one thing in common. They all believed that these troubles only made them stronger and, in some cases, even better than they could have been.

If you think carefully, everyone can find many such examples in their family or in their immediate environment, among colleagues and acquaintances.

How to find the cause of the problem

It’s not at all difficult to go crazy from the problems that have piled up, as they say, “a bad thing is not tricky.” But you can find a way out of a difficult situation and find the cause of failure if you use a certain search algorithm.

Everything has already happened and the problem is obvious.
Ask yourself what preceded this, what events happened shortly before its appearance, remember your thoughts and words.
Did you know that thoughts, this product of our mind, can include a situation of failure not only in your own life, but also in the lives of people close to you? Negative emotions and thoughts, even carefully disguised ones, attract negative consequences.
If inside your mind there are only harmonious thoughts that your world cares about you, you love it, and the power next to you will always protect you from unwanted influences, this will be the best protection from troubles.
Ask yourself if this is the first time a problem has occurred in this area of your life. If such troubles have already arisen, it means that the Universe is persistently trying to reach you, aggravating the situation and offering more and more difficult options each time. There is only one way out - to react, to look for a solution to the problem.
Try to understand what is common in all these situations, what unites them. If you are losing money all the time, then the problem is your wrong attitude towards it. If your relationships with women (colleagues, relatives, friends) are constantly not going well, then it’s all about your attitude towards them.
Remember that during such problematic situations, people say things about you that you don’t like. These words are the very root of the problem that you need to find. Nobody is suggesting that you go crazy and trustingly listen to your opponents. But if you are outraged and blame someone else, then everything said by others is true.
Ask yourself what you need to understand from this situation, how you do not accept people, the world around you, and, perhaps, yourself.

And when everything becomes clear, all that remains is to change the attitude of your mind to some things, look at the world from a different angle, and try to get off the beaten track, turning

About the art of turning problems into opportunities. It’s not just about achieving success despite the circumstances, but about the ability to make the obstacle standing in the way become part of the path. This approach is what makes it different.

What kind of strong people are we talking about? Who are they?

Who do we usually consider strong? People who cope with difficulties with dignity, do not give up, and turn problems into opportunities. Such men and women have lived at all times.

Did you know that the future great Athenian orator Demosthenes was sickly from childhood and suffered from a speech impediment? As a child, he lost his parents, and his guardians stole his inheritance. But this did not break him. He dreamed of becoming a speaker and practiced every day. He fulfilled his dream and punished his offenders in court.
Did you know that future oil tycoon John Rockefeller was the son of an alcoholic and a criminal and began working at age 16 for minimum wage?
Did you know that in old age, inventor Thomas Edison survived the fire of his own laboratory, where he burned down? most of his works? During the fire, he asked his son to invite his friends and mother to share the spectacle with him, and said that they were simply getting rid of excess garbage. By the way, few people know that Edison was practically deaf.
Did you know that the American writer Helen Keller was blind and deaf due to an illness she suffered in early childhood? But this did not stop her from leading an active political and social life and helping others.
Did you know that Viktor Frankl, a world famous psychologist, spent several years in concentration camps and lost almost his entire family there? But he did not give up and continued in the post-war period to do what filled his life with meaning, living to the age of 92.
Did you know that Abraham Lincoln suffered from severe depression throughout his life and was on the verge of suicide several times? He grew up in poverty, lost his mother and the woman he loved, and experienced defeat many times in his political life, but this did not stop him from becoming a legend.

Most of us have never experienced the horrors that these people endured. But often we panic, go crazy and complain about injustice for much less serious reasons. We are stopped and frustrated by minor obstacles like someone's criticism, a traffic jam or a broken Internet. Fear, despair, indignation, confusion are typical reactions to difficulties.

But no one promised us that life would be fair and unhindered. We all have to face difficulties. It depends on us how we will react to them.

Strong people are distinguished by the fact that they show perseverance and endurance, and control their emotions. They do not give up in the face of problems and, moreover, make problems part of their path.

How to master the approach to the difficulties of strong people?

Samuel Castro / Unsplash.com

Strong people have a belief system that they follow that helps them keep a clear head and approach adversity well. To cope with challenges as strong people, we need the same belief system. We do not need to invent anything new, because this system is the basis of Stoic philosophy.

Oh no, not philosophy...

Unfortunately, in the mass consciousness, philosophy is associated with thick books covered in dust, black and white portraits of philosophers and abstract reasoning that are in no way related to what we have to deal with every day. But this is not the kind of philosophy we are talking about. The teaching of the Stoics is surprisingly pragmatic.

Despite the fact that Stoicism originated in Ancient Greece, its principles can enrich the life of modern people.

How?

The teachings of the Stoics are aimed at accepting life in all its manifestations, developing perseverance and the right attitude towards adversity, taming one’s emotions and managing one’s reactions.

Ryan Holiday talks about this teaching not as a philosophical concept, but as a practical tool. He distinguishes three components in the approach of strong people: perception, action and will.

The first component is perception. What does it mean?

Perception is how we see and interpret what is happening. If we are emotionally involved in a situation, we do not see the whole picture and act to our detriment. Therefore, it is important to correctly adjust your perception in order to be able to take control of your emotions. This does not mean stopping feeling anything, it means becoming the master of your feelings, not their servant.

And what does this give?

Difficult situations happen all the time, we need endurance and composure to deal with them. By saving, you will always be head and shoulders above those who panic. In addition, correct perception helps to see new opportunities in a crisis. Most people perceive problems as something terrible, but not those we consider strong. Correct perception helps us see the whole situation and focus on what we can change. Emotional stability and equanimity are the key to correct actions in difficult situations.

How to learn this?

There are no special secrets here: practice and mental training aimed at taming emotions are important. Holiday talks about several Stoic techniques: returning objectivity by calling everything by its proper name (wine is sour grape juice); in difficult situations, imagine what you would advise a person with the same problems as you. Often we give smart advice about how to behave correctly to others, but when it comes to us, we behave stupidly and irrationally. It is worth distancing yourself, reducing emotional involvement, and correct solution will not keep you waiting.

The second component of the Stoic approach is action.

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Action is a necessity, Holiday says. You cannot hide from problems, you need to act, overcome obstacles and paint them the color you need. The author cites the example of Viktor Frankl, who believed that we should not wait for an answer to the question “What is the meaning of life?” - this is the question the world asks us. And our answer is in our actions: perseverance, common sense, patience and focus.

Two other important ideas about action that Holiday talks about are understanding what our mistakes tell us and understanding that every action matters. There is no work unworthy of us. By doing something half-heartedly, we degrade.

But action is not always action in the literal sense. Sometimes it is better to initially agree with your opponent. Then you are more likely to persuade him to your point of view than when you persistently prove him wrong. The best tactic is to turn the actions of other people against themselves, knowing how to step aside in time.

The third component is will

By will, most understand the desire to get something. But Holiday makes clear the difference between such a will and the will as understood by the Stoics. Will as desire is very fragile and unreliable. The real key to strength lies in resistance to influences and flexibility, the ability to find meaning in obstacles.

We live in a world with the illusion that we can control everything. Modern technical means ingrain this misconception in us. When something terrible happens, we refuse to believe and experience shock. But isn't all life unpredictable? Any minute could be the last. It is the will that helps us live in such an unpredictable world.

Isn't this a dark way of looking at things?

The more we isolate ourselves from the truth, the more we lose power. The paradox is that accepting our own mortality enriches our lives.

The ancient Stoics reflected on death and prepared themselves for the unpredictability of the world. This helped them remain calm in the most difficult situations.

Many people ask: what is the point in life if death awaits us? But, from the point of view of Stoicism, death, on the contrary, gives meaning to life.

By devoting the time of our lives to empty pursuits, we live as if we were immortal.

Reminders of the finitude of your own life help you concentrate on the main thing. Even from the fact of one's own mortality one can derive benefit.

Another paradox is that our lives become richer when we devote ourselves to things that take us beyond our petty selfish interests.

What is the practical benefit of this?

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Problems will not take you by surprise. You can use this approach in business, at work or in your personal life. , new relationships, the birth of a child, any pleasant event gives us a surge of enthusiasm. But when something doesn't go the way we imagined, it drives us crazy. Why not prepare in advance, because it is safe to say that no matter what you start, you will encounter obstacles.

Before starting a new project, imagine that it will fail. Imagine what difficulties will arise in relationships, at work, when raising a child. Why might this happen? What will go wrong? What will you do to provide for what can be foreseen, and what will you do if something happens that you cannot influence? When difficulties do arise, you will be ready for them, you will have a backup plan, or at least you will be mentally prepared for them. You mobilize your forces faster. This approach is like a vaccination: it helps to develop antibodies to difficulties.

Is the book worth reading?

The book is written in simple language, it contains many interesting and inspiring stories of strong people. This book is a good alternative to many overly optimistic books on self-development and personal effectiveness, the main message of which is limited to the phrase “You can do it!” Believe in yourself and everything will work out.”