How to make peace with a guy if you offended him. How to make peace with your beloved man correctly if he is to blame for the quarrel - instructions for a wise woman What to do if a guy does not want to make peace

Reading time: 3 min

How to make peace with a guy? It happens that we first quarrel over an insignificant reason or continue to intensify our own affect when it’s time to calm down, and then frantically look for ways to make peace. Especially often, a girl is tormented by the thought that either the guy should put up first, or she will be able to manipulate his feelings. In reality, it doesn’t matter who will be the first to reconcile, but if the girl also bears most of the blame, then she should be the first to reconcile.

When you meet, don’t push for pity and try not to cry (men don’t tolerate women’s tears well, and some consider them a remedy), but you shouldn’t act absolutely cold, as if the spat had no effect on you. The main rule on how to make peace with a guy if it’s your own fault is to be extremely sincere. Most likely, if the guy has already come to meet you, then he also wants reconciliation, but under certain conditions. Your task is to determine before the meeting what you are willing to give up and what to change in order to discuss these points from a position of honesty, and not feed him empty promises, after which nothing in the situation will change significantly, but the seriousness of a repeated conflict will be much higher.

I want to make peace with my boyfriend, what should I do? Be prepared that the conversation may not end in reconciliation - respect the feelings and decisions of the other person. Let some time pass, let the situation go, then you can discuss everything again. Although, if after several attempts his decision does not change, you should not be intrusive, stop insisting on your own, calling, invading his life and making attempts to get closer or pestering him with conversations about what happened. If you are also dear to him, then time will pass and he will appear to you, then it’s up to you to decide whether to continue communication, and if not, then no amount of sieges, conversations and promises will change the situation.

It may seem that there are two opposite options when the question arises of how you can make peace with a guy, but keep in mind the postulate that both are to blame, it’s just that someone commits an offense, and someone, through their behavior, brings the other to this state. If most of the blame lies with him, but the guy doesn’t want to be the first to admit and make peace, then you will have to take these steps. But first, wait a few days, stop yourself in your thoughts and dramatization of the situation, and give your boyfriend time to cool down.

Next, agree on a time and place to discuss the situation. In the conversation, show maximum attentiveness and respect to your partner, because what is not essential for you may turn out to be the guy’s main life principle, and he will not want to give it up. Listen to what he says, this will help you understand his point of view on the situation, and not assume. Thinking for a person has never brought adequate results - it is better and more informative to ask a direct question. When you tell a guy about your feelings and thoughts, clarify that this applies exclusively to this situation and this moment, avoid such accusing phrases as “you always” and “all the time.”

How to make peace with a guy after a breakup?

Quarrels come in various sizes and durations, and if an important topic was raised in the confrontation, it was impossible for you to hear each other due to the overflow, then this led to a break in the relationship. After being angry with him and what’s happening for a day or two, a new stage may begin to look for options on how to make peace with a guy after a breakup, but don’t rush.

Before you take a lot of actions to correct what happened, try to change your view of the situation, get distracted, change the situation. You can walk around the city, meet with friends, go to a new establishment or visit an exhibition that has opened. You should not go to places that remind you of your meetings and watch films that will remind you of these relationships - your goal is to distract yourself as much as possible, in order to then understand and compare which life you like better, the one that suits your interests or the one that is shared with you. him. And, based on new internal sensations, it’s worth deciding how to make peace with a guy after a breakup.

If during the break you discovered that you want to continue the relationship, then remember that at first you may be haunted by a million ideas of what to say to the guy in order to make peace. So, you shouldn’t send him messages with all your ideas, call him, come. It is better to spend the break time in communication not on rehearsing a conversation, but on taking care of yourself (visit a massage therapist and hairdresser, stop by for new clothes and see a psychologist) and your own development (sign up for long-term courses and one-day seminars, read, draw). For your meeting, try to look well-groomed and quite satisfied with life, because few people will want to continue a relationship with a person who looks pitiful and falls into depression. While you are busy with yourself and not communicating, remain within reach of the guy; if he decides to take the initiative, he should have a thread to communicate with you. The disappearance of a guy from the horizon without a trace will certainly intrigue a guy, but don’t overdo it, because if you change your address, phone number, etc., he won’t find you and will decide that he’s indifferent to you.

Remember yourself, what you were like, what you were interested in, what you were doing at the time he fell in love with you, and try to return to this state. Then you can make an appointment if he has not yet cooled down and has not invited you to clarify the relationship. When planning a meeting, analyze the reasons that, from your point of view, caused the conflict and decide for yourself what exactly you can change or do for a peaceful outcome. Try to choose the right words that reflect your experience and its importance in your life.

How to make peace with a guy if it’s your own fault? Your initial task will be to let your boyfriend know that you have realized the mistakes you have made and intend to make efforts to correct them. And remember, if the disagreement has reached the point of breaking the relationship, then simply apologizing will not be enough; you will have to restore lost trust in small steps. It is important to replace short messages with an extended version - an email; if there is a long period of absence of communication, a meeting will be more relevant than a telephone conversation.

How to make peace with your ex-boyfriend is a more difficult task than resolving a quarrel that did not lead to separation, and will require judicious and careful actions from you, maximum endurance and attention. It’s better to start communicating with neutral, emotionally unimportant topics; somewhere in between you can find out if he already has a new relationship. If communicating directly is still scary, then messages on social networks will help you out. And writing is not as scary as meeting in person, and there is an opportunity to think through the answer, and he won’t notice your trembling hands. And then, if he is free and continues to maintain a dialogue with you, then let him know that you are sorry, tell him how much you miss him, you can even offer to meet. Just don’t expect that by agreeing to this meeting, he agreed to resume the relationship, just spend time together, communicate, listen to yourself, have a good time.

What to write to a guy to make peace? Alternatively, you can simply send an SMS indicating the place, time and your desire to meet, there is a high probability that the guy will come at least out of curiosity. Pay special attention to touching and hugging - it is physical contact that greatly contributes to building relationships. We only allow dear people into physical intimacy, so if you hug him, but he is still sulking and telling you where and how you are wrong, consider that half the battle is done, because such behavior indicates the guy’s desire to make peace and maintain the relationship.

What should I do to make peace with my boyfriend? You can come up with a gift for him, what it will be depends on your imagination (the guy’s characteristics, significant events) and financial capabilities (it’s not always worth making large and expensive gifts, sometimes what your time is invested in is more effective). You can buy tickets to a sports team match or a concert, organize dinner in your cafe, or if you live together, have dinner at home, you can draw a poster, an e-card, or make a video collage.

There are different ways to make peace with a guy - the main thing is that the reconciliation gift carries an apology and shows your love.

How to make peace with a guy if he doesn't make contact?

A guy may refuse to contact you, and there may be several reasons for this - either he does it on purpose, to take revenge or for educational purposes, or the quarrel preceding the separation was only a reason to break off an intolerable relationship, or he has... If this is the first case, then he will not be able to remain silent for a long time, since the person himself is afraid of losing you and will be careful not to overdo it with ignoring, which will lead to a real separation. Well, if this is the second option, then you do not need to call him and take any steps, this will not bring success, but you can easily run into rudeness and words that hurt your soul.

In the case when a guy shows indifference due to the fact that he doesn’t have enough apologies, it’s worth thinking about further relationships with such a person. There is a high probability that you will continue to jump around him, coming up with new ways to make peace with the guy and please, while he will begin to behave more and more rudely and wipe his feet on you.

Just as both are always to blame for the beginning and cause of a quarrel, so in reconciliation steps must be taken towards each other on both sides. If he passes by you, pretending that he doesn’t recognize you, humiliates and ridicules you in front of people - stop imposing, the person is not looking for ways to save the relationship. Perhaps when you let him be alone, he will begin to be interested in you again, in which case you should be careful and try to figure out this behavior. Perhaps he really realized what a treasure he lost because of his obstinacy, or perhaps he simply needs someone who will constantly run after him and make any desire come true - this greatly increases his self-esteem.

But if you are sure that he is dear to you and you need this relationship, then you should decide how you can make peace with the guy if he does not want to interact. Initially, give him a few days when you don’t remind him of your existence at all - this will give his emotions a chance to cool down, analyze the situation, and perhaps the resentment will go away. If, after some time has passed when you have not communicated, he does not answer your calls and SMS, which he most likely deletes without opening, then the best option would be to write him an email. Experience shows that for some reason men read emails, unlike text messages and messages on social networks. The requirements for the letter are quite simple - it should be a maximum of one page and carry a personal meaning. The Internet is filled with templates and examples of conciliatory letters, but no one will be pleased to receive an impersonal message. Try to use the most understandable phrases and short sentences, and end the letter itself with a question sentence, which will encourage him to continue the dialogue.

How to make peace with a guy after a strong quarrel?

The first rule of reconciliation after any quarrel is to resolve all issues when emotions subside, so give yourself and him a few days of silence and non-interference. If you are not in different countries, then reconciliation should take place only in person, no phones or correspondence, as this may make the person feel unimportant. Tell your guy that you want to talk to him and choose a time when neither of you is overworked or tired. It is also important to warn so that you can plan your day and be mentally prepared for such a conversation.

What to tell a guy to make peace? It is better to listen carefully to your interlocutor, and not just concentrate on your opinion. Even if he says that black is white, listen, don’t interrupt, don’t criticize. Otherwise, why did you decide to put up with a person whose opinion you don’t care about? After everyone has spoken, we can discuss the situation more constructively. If you feel that the ice between you is melting, you can touch his hand and hug him. Light physical contact will help establish an emotional connection.

Show respect if the relationship doesn't work out after the first meeting. For example, a guy may forgive you, but tell you that he still needs to be alone for now. Or you will be together again, but there will be a certain distance between you - this is normal. Especially after serious quarrels or breakups, some time must pass until the wounds inflicted heal and the relationship resumes.

If, in the process of discussing the reasons for the quarrel, you again begin to be overwhelmed by emotions, and you may turn to insults (or you notice this in your boyfriend), take a break and agree to continue at another time or in writing.

Try to notice and prevent emerging conflicts in the future. With each quarrel, you get to know each other better, a kind of map of your partner’s sore spots appears, where it is better not to step with rough soles. Be careful and discuss minor disagreements immediately before they turn into serious disagreements and an avalanche of mutual claims covers your life.

Speaker of the Medical and Psychological Center "PsychoMed"

Valeria Protasova

Reading time: 6 minutes

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Conflicts are natural in relationships. and inevitable. As psychologists say, they prevent negativity from accumulating, help to discharge emotionally and can even be useful for the development of relationships. A how to make peace with a man, to get this loud “benefit”? And in general, are there any original ways to make a truce seem less like an admission of guilt, and more like a declaration of love and trust?

How to make peace with your beloved man correctly if he is to blame for the quarrel - instructions for a wise woman

So, the culprit of the quarrel is your man or guy, but he’s in no hurry to go to war?

Then go you will have to be the first to reconcile with your husband . Believe me, there is no right and wrong, and in the most unpleasant situation, do not forget to take an interest in the feelings of your loved one and try to understand them. No one ever does something without prerequisites - even if, in fact, he is the initiator of the quarrel.

Having understood his reasons, feel free to talk about your motives. After all, the easiest way to explain your feelings to your partner is to simply talk about them. No accusations or criticism. Read below for options on how to make peace with your boyfriend or husband.

Take a break. If your partner is one of those people who needs time to rethink the situation, stop. It usually takes 1 to 3 days to cool down and realize the importance of the relationship. Don't rush him and don't start suspecting him of losing his old feelings. It’s just that some people need pauses that allow them to assess reality and set priorities correctly.

If your partner simply doesn’t care about his guilt, you shouldn’t start a showdown or beg for an apology. Instead, just allocate a certain amount from the family budget, for example, for a dance subscription. It is desirable that this is not a thing, but a long-term event. Such independence, especially associated with acquiring new contacts, will worry a frivolous husband, and in a couple of days, expect repentance!

How can I make peace with my husband or boyfriend if it’s my fault - we are looking for ways to reconcile with our loved one

If you realized they were wrong - Don’t delay in apologizing. The conflict will not be resolved on its own, and a prolonged resolution can harm the relationship.

There are enough ways to reconcile with a man to control your pride and even pleasantly surprise your loved one.

Just "excuse me" works wonders if you address them personally to your loved one in an original way using a funny surprise, SMS, mms, mail, social network.
Maybe your husband listens to the radio? Then contact his favorite radio station! Let him unexpectedly hear your apology and declaration of love, or let it be voiced by a DJ, but always with your partner’s favorite composition.
Prepare his favorite cake or other dish, on which write the words of apology. If you don't like to cook, you can book a table in a romantic cafe. Such reconciliation with your loved one will only strengthen your relationship and lead to a passionate night.
Talk. Only in a few cases does this lead to a deepening of the quarrel, for example, if both parties do not strive to understand each other. In other situations, it helps to permanently eliminate the cause of the conflict and achieve greater openness in relationships.

In conversation, adhere to the following rules:

Accept the fact that your loved one may have different values. And what is insignificant for you can be significant for him. Therefore, do not refuse your partner something that in your opinion does not make sense.
Never assume for your spouse or boyfriend. Just ask. And no matter how scary it is, it is better to know the truth than to live in illusions. After all, fantasies can confuse, for example, exaggerate your feelings of guilt.
Talk to your partner honestly, to the point, and openly. Don't play guessing games! To avoid feeling petty, it's important to understand what's behind the things you don't like and voice them. Only after many years will you learn to recognize each other at a glance.
Don't generalize or exaggerate the problem over time. Communicate only what worries you at the moment without unpleasant words like “every time”, “always” and “all the time”.

Objectively, it is easier for a girl to make peace with a guy than for a guy to make peace with a girl - if a girl honestly admits that she is wrong in the event of a quarrel, the guys will not be offended for a long time. At the same time, subjectively, it’s the other way around: it’s more difficult for girls to take steps towards reconciliation than for guys. Even if she herself understands that she was wrong and messed up, it can be very difficult for a girl to take the first step towards reconciliation, emotions swirl in her soul, self-criticism sets in, internal squabbles occur... In fact, if you do not have constant quarrels and you quarreled Only now, everything is solved easily.

Perhaps you got into a fight in a conversation and are now sulking and silent, looking away from each other - don’t worry, don’t be afraid of anything, as long as everything is fine. Nothing bad happened, quarrels are common at your age: the sun gives way to clouds, and then the sky clears. If you realize that you have said too much and want to make peace, you just need to do two things: give him your hand and sob. Well, that is, first make an upset face, and then sob. If you just cry, he will be angry, and if you sob quietly, but give him your hand, a normal guy will respond to your hand and you will hug.

It will be a little more difficult further, you need to say “Forgive me!” - and continue to remain silent, or rather, restrain yourself from further showdowns and conversations about why he is still wrong. By the way, it always helps if you quickly change the situation: if you were sitting, stand up, if you were standing, sit down, if you were walking in one direction, take him by the hand and turn him in the other direction. For some reason, after such simple things, everything becomes different, the quarrel is over, you can start everything on the good side. Change the subject, and if there is something else that needs to be discussed, it is better to postpone it until later. As you said today, it doesn’t work, which means you need to look for some other option. Either you come up with it yourself, or consult with one of the smart people.

Another situation is if you quarreled and have already fled. He doesn't call you, and you're thinking about how to call him again... no big deal for now, don't beat yourself up, and if you were wrong, write a simple letter to your boyfriend about it. You can call, but on the phone you can say the wrong thing, but in a letter you will be more careful, so the letter is more reliable. There is no need to write anything long, something quite simple will do, for example like this:

I was wrong.

In short, I need you, but I won’t be such a beech, I’ll tell you everything and I want to make peace with you. I'm sweet and beautiful now.

If you quarreled more seriously because he also told you a lot of unnecessary, sick and unfair things, this only means that a few extra sentences are added to the letter. So:

Slava, I want to make peace with you.

I was wrong.

You see, I had a fight with my sister, I was in a bad mood and angry at everyone, including myself. This happens to girls. Then you called, and instead of telling you everything, I continued to get angry... The conversation didn’t work out, because of this I was even more angry with myself and just freaked out...

I was wrong, sorry.

You couldn't resist either, right? In short, we both said a lot of stupid things to each other. I suggest making peace. I apologize for my stupidity, another time I will tell you everything at once, you will understand me, support me, kiss me and I will stop being angry. And I'll be good. And you have flowers, you also ask me for forgiveness for yours and I want to see you.

If after this he makes contact, he is great, and you are smart, and everything is fine with you.

If after that he does not make contact, then he either died, or after all, you are not dating the person you need to meet. Through your friends, you can ventilate the situation, what’s going on with him, and if he received your letter, but is still sulking at you, then the last thing you can do is call him briefly or visit him unexpectedly. After this, you will either make peace completely, or break up completely. Both are much better than being in limbo for a long time.

In students work through many similar situations, learn to act and live wisely. On the one hand, this is a two-year professional training of coaches, consultants and trainers, on the other hand, this is two years of personality development and mindset development. There I, Professor Nikolai Ivanovich Kozlov, work personally. Interesting - sign up for demo training and start studying.

Video from Yana Happiness: interview with psychology professor N.I. Kozlov

Topics of conversation: What kind of woman do you need to be to get married successfully? How many times do men get married? Why are there not enough normal men? Childfree. Parenting. What is love? A fairy tale that could not have happened better. Payment for the opportunity to be near a beautiful woman.

What could be worse than a fight with a guy? The fact that later he will be, if not angry with you, then at least angry. And this knowledge, to put it mildly, is not the most pleasant thing that can happen - especially if the blame for everything lies primarily with you. However, you can make peace, don’t worry. You just need to choose the right time and place, and also be honest.

Steps

Part 1

Making up after a quarrel with a guy

Give him time to calm down. If you just had a fight with a guy, then you might already want to make things right. But the guy, you know, may still be angry and angry. Of course, you can't wait forever for it to boil over, but still wait at least a couple of days before you start putting up with it. If you rush, even if it’s purely out of good intentions, then you can only make more trouble.

If he completely ignores you or reacts coldly, then he is not yet ready for reconciliation.
When will he be ready? When will he be able to look you in the eye and talk to you again?

Choose the right time and place to talk when the guy is ready for it. So, some time has passed, everyone has calmed down, everyone is boiling over, everyone wants to talk. Accordingly, you need to choose a time and place - and try to choose a time when other problems are not hanging around the guy’s neck. This will make everything go more smoothly.
- Tell him that you would like to talk to him - just like that, no need to grab his sleeve and start a serious conversation unexpectedly. Even if the guy doesn’t expect you to be the first to make peace, he’d better be warned.
- The main thing is that nothing distracts you during the conversation.
Ask for forgiveness and do it sincerely. If you feel that everything is your fault, then admit it. And you shouldn’t try to shift the blame onto the guy at this moment - fully accept responsibility and, accordingly, the blame on yourself. Explain that you understand what you have done, and you are not very happy about what you, by your grace, had to put the guy through. Well, you get the point.
- Accordingly, if the guy’s actions were to blame, then you shouldn’t ask for forgiveness just to make amends for the situation. You should think about whether you need such a person nearby.
If a guy wants to speak out, listen to him carefully. If he listened to you and didn’t interrupt, then don’t interrupt him when it’s his turn to speak. Perhaps he will tell you something you never thought of. Don't interrupt him or argue with him while he's talking - even if you don't agree with him completely. Let him speak out.
- Even if it seems to you that he is turning everything upside down, listen to him carefully and silently. It is always useful to look at the situation from the outside. When he speaks out, you can begin to discuss the situation in a more constructive manner.
- If you listen carefully to the guy, you will probably understand that he had a much more difficult and difficult time than you imagined.
Surround him with love and care. So, you made peace with your guy - well done! Now you can move on with your life and try not to repeat your mistakes. Hug, kiss, well, whatever else they do in such situations - in general, as long as you feel natural. Of course, you shouldn’t surround a person full of anger with love and care, since this will not solve the situation.

Tell your guy how much he means to you. So, you are on the path to reconciliation, love and mutual understanding. Now, accordingly, you can tell the guy what and how much he means to you, and how bad you felt when he felt bad, and how good you are now that he is next to you again. And at this stage you should be extremely honest. It wouldn’t hurt to compliment one or another of his qualities.

A little romantic gesture wouldn't hurt either. Yes, the fact is a fact - romantic gestures are not the lot of the stronger half of humanity. You are quite capable of making a guy's heart thaw after a quarrel with the help of a little romance. Maybe you should burn him a CD with his favorite songs? Or buy him football tickets? Give him a pleasant surprise? All this will let the guy know how much you want to leave the quarrel in the past.
- The question is not how much money you will spend. The question is how carefully and sincerely you approach the matter.
Do something that he himself has long wanted to do. Yes, this is another way to fix the rift in your relationship. Maybe your boyfriend dreams of going to a climbing wall? About going to the gym? To a football match? So go with him. And by the way, don’t complain, whine or drag him home right away. In general, surprise the guy and be a good girl.

For the time being, act more carefully. Having just made peace, you should exercise some kind of caution and, in particular, not bring up all sorts of unpleasant and controversial topics in conversations. Of course, you shouldn’t start arguing about who is to blame for your last quarrel. Of course, you shouldn't try not to be yourself. The key here is to think about what you are talking about before you speak.
- If you really want to continue to develop the relationship, then wait a little before saying something like “I love you,” moving in together again, and so on.
There's no need to go out of your way to make peace. Of course, you need to make peace, but you should also remember about boundaries and limits. If you have almost turned inside out in front of him, and he is still cold and indifferent, like an iceberg in the ocean, then it makes sense to think about whether you need him like that next to you. It’s better not to rush, let time heal your wounds.
- If he has forgiven you, but still wants to be on his own, give him time for this.
Part 2
Making up after a quarrel with a friend
1. Don't gossip about him with other friends. When one of our male friends is angry with us, we are so tempted to tell other friends about everything. Don't do this (unless you're looking for advice on how to resolve a current situation). If you put your friend in a bad light, he will still find out about it - and, accordingly, will be even more angry with you.
  - For that matter, you should only say good things about him behind the guy’s back - this will make it easier for him to forgive you.
2. Be honest when it comes to arguing. It can be difficult for guys to be honest with each other, but if friendship is important to you, then know that there is nothing better than honesty. Let him know why everything happened, and also that, if you had the opportunity, you would have acted differently. Honesty and openness are the key to restoring friendship and trust.
3. Ask for forgiveness and make peace if you are both ready. Say that you are very unhappy about what happened, that you really don’t like being in a quarrel with him, that you value your friendship and cannot imagine your life without it. If you did make a mistake, then it's time to admit it, apologize and move on.
  - Just say something like, “Please forgive me for hurting your feelings. I really regret this." You need to apologize only sincerely, only sincerely and nothing else.
4. Hug. So, the quarrels are over, now everything is in order, which means that you can hug - and tightly, since you are both glad that the friendship is strong again, and the tomatoes have bloomed. Keep in mind that guys don’t really talk about how much they value friendship, so if you’re quite modest in this regard, instead of a thousand words, it’s better to give one big hug.
  - If you have never hugged him before, don’t worry, behave as usual.
5. Be kind and sweet to him - perhaps even more than usual. Having established friendship, it’s time to surround your friend with warmth and care - but as if gradually, so that he himself does not notice or understand that you want to make amends for your guilt. Help him with something, give him a pleasant surprise, try to watch your speech towards him.
  - If you know that, say, he would like to go to a movie or a concert with you, offer him this yourself.
6. Try not to repeat mistakes. If you want to prove that you won’t step on the same rake again, then behave accordingly. Don't quarrel with him again and, by the way, don't do or say what you quarreled about last time. Pay more attention to how you behave, learn to better read a guy's body language in order to find out in advance that he is uncomfortable or upset about something, and prevent the development of a new quarrel.
  - If you keep repeating your own mistakes and quarrel again and again, then you are unlikely to take these friendly relationships seriously. If they were taken seriously, they would have drawn the appropriate conclusions long ago!
Part 3
What you should never do
1. Don't try to ask for forgiveness in person. Calls, SMS, letters, social networks - all this is taboo. Apologize in person and only in person unless you are a coward. No, if there are about a thousand kilometers between you, and money is tight, then, of course, means of communication will do. However, if a person is worth it, then you need to ask for forgiveness in person.
  - If you don't apologize personally, the person will probably decide that you don't take things very seriously.
  - Besides, if you don’t ask for forgiveness in person, the guy may not answer you.
2. You don't have to ask every now and then if the guy is angry with you. This is a failed tactic. Yes, perhaps you are tormented by curiosity - have you forgiven me or not?! - but asking about it again and again is the path to worsening the situation. And if you think that a guy, spurred on by your questions, will forgive you faster, then you are mistaken. Everything will be the other way around - you yourself will remind him of what happened.
  - When he stops being angry, you yourself will understand. But asking questions won't change anything.
3. There is no need to make false apologies. If you ask for forgiveness just to make him stop being angry with you, you will ruin everything. Only a sincere apology will save your relationship, whatever it may be! There is no need to ask for forgiveness with the words: “Well... like... uh... sorry, huh,” or: “It seems like I should ask for forgiveness... so, I’m sorry.” Apologize clearly, clearly and sincerely! Otherwise... otherwise you won't achieve anything constructive.
  - Look the guy in the eyes, turn to him, and let him see how painful it is for you to be in a quarrel with him.
  - Don't justify your behavior and your own actions. Take responsibility for them.
4. There is no need to choose the wrong time to talk. This should be avoided, which is understandable. If he has something important to do, then you shouldn’t get in his way at a time when he’s already on edge. It is necessary to speak and discuss when everyone is calm and peaceful. Again, you shouldn’t make such a conversation public; you only need to apologize face-to-face.
  - If you make a mistake with the choice of time for a conversation, then you can end up, as they say, under the hot hand - he will be angry that you could not choose the right time, and, in general, you will not come to anything good.

How to make peace with a guy? What to write to a guy to make peace? How to make peace with a guy if he doesn't want to make peace

How to make peace with a guy? - Psychologist

Film "The Story of Us"

When you've already had a lot of trouble, it's harder to put up with it. But if you remember all the good things that happened and sincerely take a step towards it, a lot is possible. Will you try it? download video

I was wrong.

In short, I need you, but I won’t be such a beech, I’ll tell you everything and I want to make peace with you. I'm sweet and beautiful now.

If you quarreled more seriously because he also told you a lot of unnecessary, sick and unfair things, this only means that a few extra sentences are added to the letter. So:

Slava, I want to make peace with you.

I was wrong.

I was wrong, sorry.

If after this he makes contact, he is great, and you are smart, and everything is fine with you.

At the University of Practical Psychology, students work through many similar situations, learn to act and live wisely. On the one hand, this is a two-year professional training of coaches, consultants and trainers, on the other hand, this is two years of personality development and mindset development. There I, Professor Nikolai Ivanovich Kozlov, work personally. Interesting - sign up for demo training and start studying.

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ways to reconcile with your loved one

Are there couples in the world who never quarrel? Probably they exist, but this is only possible if the partners see each other very rarely and every meeting is just a holiday. But even in such cases, most likely, even small disagreements cannot be avoided. How to make peace with your boyfriend, husband, loved one? How to restore the good relations that existed before the quarrel? Let’s say right away: it’s probably not possible to instantly return them back, because human memory cannot be erased. In order for the resentment to dull and the words spoken, sometimes unfair, to be forgotten, time must pass.

Time to reconcile with your loved one

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to scatter stones, and a time to gather up stones; a time to rend, and a time to sew together; a time to be silent and a time to speak; a time for war, and a time for peace." (Ecclesiastes, 3) You shouldn’t make peace immediately after a quarrel, psychologists talk about this, life observations also talk about this. There are several reasons for this.

Each of you needs to calm down, put your feelings and thoughts in order. Imagine: the quarrel took place in a raised voice, harsh, offensive words were spoken, and then the phrase was uttered: “Come on, forget everything!” It’s difficult to call it anything other than mockery, and even the outbreak of a new scandal is possible. Therefore, several hours should pass. We advise you to distract yourself with something, to do simple, routine work. After a quarrel with your loved one, try some thing... wash it. Yes, yes, wash it, and not in a washing machine. Just sitting near the unit, waiting for the washing process to finish and at the same time going over all the details of the past quarrel in your head, you will make yourself even more painful. You need to wash it with your hands, putting all the negative energy accumulated during a quarrel into the rubbing movements. Try it, and in a few minutes you will feel how frustration and resentment burst like soap bubbles. Incredible? However, it works! Our grandmothers knew about this method of relieving irritation and used it very successfully.

Some time must pass in order to understand the situation and analyze what happened, and not only you need a time-out, believe me. Your loved one is also worried, rest assured, and you need to give him time to understand the reasons for the disagreement and be patient for reconciliation.

In the heat of the moment, it is very easy to say words that will later be both embarrassing and difficult. “The word is not a sparrow; if it flies out, you won’t catch it,” is the popular saying. It’s easy to say a hurtful word in your heart, but making amends is much more difficult. Wait a while, let the excitement subside and common sense take precedence over emotions.

A very good start to reconciliation can be the simple, but so important and probably expected by your partner, words: “Forgive me!” Don’t start figuring out whose fault is greater in the current situation. Everything you say should be based only on your feelings and experiences, without touching on the feelings of your loved one. “It’s so bad when we quarrel, let’s make peace!” - such simple words can melt the ice of disagreements and even bring a smile, and this is the first step towards improving relationships!

Not reproach your lover for anything, because now we need to conduct not a duel, but peaceful negotiations, so be diplomatic and don’t get personal! Phrases like “So be it, world, but it’s all your fault” and “Okay, let’s not quarrel anymore, because it still turns out the way I said” are strictly prohibited! Remember that at the first stage of reconciliation with a guy, it is not the “victory” over the “enemy” that is important, but the restoration of the relationship.

But what if you are ready to put up with it and even take steps towards this in the form of innocent questions about the weather and offers to drink tea, but your loved one stubbornly refuses to communicate, withdraws into himself and remains silent in the corner of the sofa? It is quite possible that he needs more time than you to realize his mistakes and correct the situation, because people are all so different! Be patient, let him think about what happened between you and how to fix everything. Believe me, he is not stubborn at all and does not want to cause you new insults, it’s just the way life works that for some it takes even five minutes to “cool down,” while others will be ready for contact only after a day.

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Several ways to say “Forgive me!”

It would seem that what could be simpler than saying just two words “Forgive me!”, However, sometimes saying them is not only difficult, but simply impossible, especially if you feel that your loved one is wrong and has deeply offended you. But now you and I are trying to be the first to achieve the desired result and provoke him into dialogue, so say these words first!

Does not work? What are the achievements of science and technology for? Send an SMS to your loved one on their phone, adding a touching emoticon, or another option - by email, on their VKontakte page or through various Internet instant messaging services such as ICQ. After all, it is known that it is much easier to speak out “on paper,” so take advantage of this and write words of apology. Poems, jokes, pictures and cute nicknames will be very appropriate; they can break the ice and put both of you in a peaceful mood.

Show your imagination, inventiveness, let your words about forgiveness sound not banal, but with a creative approach, rest assured - no one can ignore such an apology! Who, besides you, knows the tastes and habits of your lover so well? Taking advantage of this, you can prepare a surprise as an apology in the form of an unusually decorated dish for dinner or a new disc from your favorite artist. After a quarrel, you will have enough time to come up with something unusual, so surprise your other half!

Remember the funny children's way of making peace after a quarrel - you need to go up to your partner and extend your outstretched little finger to him, while clenching the rest of your fingers into a fist. This touching procedure is accompanied by the words “Make up, make up, make up and don’t fight anymore!”, after which your lover should cling to your little finger with his and make several reconciling strokes. You can take this ritual as a model by coming up with your own way of making peace, used only by the two of you. One couple, after a disagreement, did an impromptu cleaning of the apartment - she wiped off the dust, he followed her with a vacuum cleaner. “Joint work unites,” as the cat Matroskin from Prostokvashino said 😉

A special case is if you feel guilty in your quarrel with your loved one. Is it worth asking for forgiveness in some special way in this situation? We are firmly convinced that we must admit our mistakes! But this must be done carefully, because we strive to make peace, and not to lose our self-esteem. Once I was an unwitting witness to a telephone conversation between a young man and his girlfriend. “Come on, ask me to forgive you! If you ask quietly, ask louder!” - he told her, clearly enjoying his triumph. Asking for forgiveness does not mean admitting your readiness for humiliation and new insults. This situation is unacceptable, do not let anyone manipulate you!

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Is it possible to avoid a quarrel with your loved one?

How to live without quarrels with your loved one? Maybe you need to agree with him on everything to avoid conflicts? In no case, you also have the right to your own opinion! Another question is how this opinion should be defended. You can argue until you are hoarse, proving your point of view, using permitted and prohibited techniques, or you can let your loved one speak out, bring all the arguments to prove that he is right. Who knows, maybe, listing all the pros that he considered irrefutable and unshakable, he will understand how ridiculous and absurd they are?...

Issues that are not vitally important are not worth quarreling with your lover over. It is much more important to maintain good relationships and peace in the home. Sometimes you can give in to your partner, and then, when he is in a more calm mood, discuss differences without unnecessary emotions.

And finally, a small parable that talks about insults and forgiveness. The son greatly offended his father, and then came up and asked for forgiveness. “Go to the gate and hammer a nail into it,” said the father. The son obeyed. “That’s how you offended me,” said the father, “Now pull out the nail.” The son took out a nail from the wooden gate and looked at his father. He said: “And so you tried to fix everything by asking for forgiveness. Do you see the hole left by the nail? The same trace remained in my soul, despite your words of apology.”

Take care of each other, do not leave an incorrigible mark on your souls from the insults caused. Remember that the best way to avoid quarrels is to prevent them from occurring. Be happy!

How to make peace with a guy? | L.S.

There are no ideal relationships. Conflicts arise in every couple sooner or later. But a quarrel is not a reason for separation. To prevent your relationship from ending, there are many different ways to make peace with your other half.

What to write to a guy to make peace?

Psychologists say that you shouldn’t make peace immediately after a quarrel. Each of you should cool down and calm down. If you don’t want to personally reconcile with the guy, you can write him a conciliatory message or even a letter. Correctly chosen words will help you establish contact faster. The message must come from a pure heart, without reproaches or insults.

There is no need to say in the letter that he should have been the first to go to the meeting and find the right words for reconciliation. If you point out his guilt, you will not be able to make peace. Having decided to write a romantic letter on paper, you should pay special attention to the handwriting: it should be neat, beautiful and even. If your handwriting is not very calligraphic, you can type the letter on a computer. In your message, use only kind words, say what he means to you, how much you love him, etc. Be sure to apologize and write that you value him and your relationship greatly.

At the end of the letter, you can draw a small heart-shaped design or put lip prints. The ideal option would be to write a letter in a beautiful postcard. It is not recommended to take poems from the Internet, because they do not reflect your feelings and thoughts, but those of others. But if you try to compose a few lines yourself, it will be appreciated. Let the verse be not poetic and a little clumsy, but from the bottom of my heart! Another option for poems is to quote the great classics who wrote about love.

Be sure to write how you are worried about the quarrel, that the current situation is painful and unpleasant for you.

If you decide to write a letter to your guy on social networks or send him an email, attach the most romantic photo of you together. You can make a video or a collage of photos. Don't forget to write about your feelings and add the word "sorry".

If you decide to apologize via SMS, it should be clearly worded, clear and short. You can write the following words: “Forgive me, I was wrong! I love you,” “I’m very sorry about the quarrel, please forgive me,” “I love you very much, don’t be mad at me,” etc. The main thing is to write the message sincerely and from the heart.

When you write and send the letter, all you have to do is wait. While you are waiting for an answer, you should not call the guy, ask about the letter, whether he has forgiven or is offended, whether he still loves you, etc. If a guy values the relationship and loves you, he will not hesitate to answer. By intruding with calls and unnecessary questions, you can only aggravate the situation. In the event that the recipient ignores the letter for a long time, leaving it unanswered, you can show courage and find out about the fate of the message, together discussing the further continuation of the relationship.

How to make peace with a guy if it's my fault?

The easiest way to reconcile is to apologize. The banal words “forgive me” are sometimes decisive. Simple phrases can literally work wonders and help you be happy together again. If you feel guilty about yourself, do not hesitate and wait for the first step from the guy. Get over yourself and apologize, because the main thing in a relationship is the ability to get over yourself and make peace in time.

Many couples, in the heat of a quarrel, say a lot of unflattering words to each other, which make everyone’s heart ache. In this case, a simple SMS with the words “Forgive me, I was wrong!” you won't get away with it. If you have seriously offended your significant other, you can pay the young man an unexpected visit. This method of reconciliation works almost 100 percent. Even if the guy is very offended by you and doesn’t want to talk, this method should work. He will appreciate your courage and sincerity; in any case, the young man definitely shouldn’t kick you out of his apartment. During the visit, you can calmly talk and discuss future relationships.

Another way to make peace with a guy is a romantic surprise. Having realized her guilt, the girl must make amends for it with something. In this case, the ideal option would be to arrange a candlelit evening for the young man, horse riding, a hot air balloon flight, etc. Many girls believe that such manifestations of feelings should remain the prerogative of guys. It's a delusion! Any person will enjoy a surprise, especially one coming from the heart. With such a date you will show your boyfriend that you are ready to do everything for him, just to make peace and live happily. The surprise could be an inscription under the windows of his house or a huge poster. When choosing a surprise, you need to focus on the guy’s tastes so as not to miss the mark with an apology.

When making verbal reconciliation, you need to choose your words correctly. Never show a guy his place, his wrongs and shortcomings. Starting your apology with the words “Forgive me, but you were wrong” or “Why are you offended, you yourself were wrong?” You risk provoking another scandal and losing the young man forever. You no longer apologize, but accuse the guy of being wrong and try to push him to apologize, thereby humiliating and angering him.

How to make peace with a guy after a quarrel?

Conflicts are inevitable in any relationship. According to psychologists, they help relieve stress and are sometimes even useful. However, a quarrel with a guy is still not the most pleasant thing that can happen, and often both sides have difficulty reconciling. How to make peace with a guy, especially if all the blame for the quarrel lies with you? This is quite possible, the main thing is to be patient, choose the right time and place, and also remain honest with your loved one.

What to do after a quarrel?

First of all, you should give the guy time to calm down. If you just had a quarrel, then you are probably impatient to re-establish communication, but your loved one is most likely still angry and in no hurry to reconcile.

You probably won't be able to wait forever, but it won't hurt to give him at least a few days to let off some steam. At this time, there is no need to lie on the bed and cry into the pillow - it is better to do homework to remove negativity and prepare for the upcoming conversation.

If you feel guilty, don’t humiliate yourself in front of your guy, and especially don’t call him every hour. Even if you were wrong and caused pain to your loved one, it is advisable to remember that both partners are to blame for any quarrel. While waiting, you should think about what you did wrong and what you can change in yourself to return to the previous relationship. When passions subside and you begin to miss your guy, you need to try to take a step towards reconciliation.

How to make peace with a guy if you are to blame?

The willingness of your loved one to forgive your offense largely depends on the degree of your guilt. Try to understand how serious the offense you have caused is. Often, the feeling of guilt becomes a serious obstacle to reconciliation, because realizing that we are wrong, we become vulnerable, begin to make excuses and unwittingly involve our other half in the guilt.

If you are fully aware of your mistake, it is advisable to unquestioningly admit it and show the guy all your sincerity.

To make peace, arrange a meeting with your loved one in some romantic place, for example, where you met or had your first date. Apologize to him - this technique is considered the simplest and most common, since it only requires courage and the ability to say the word “sorry.” If a guy refuses to meet, you can try to cross paths with him in those places where he happens most often, and then come up and apologize in public. If even then he does not forgive, you should think about whether you need such a person.

How to make peace with a guy if he is to blame?

If the guy is to blame for the quarrel, but is in no hurry to make peace, you can try to take the first step. Again, keep in mind that in any conflict both are to blame, so you should try to understand the feelings of your lover, even if he was the initiator of the quarrel.

Of course, it would be better to wait for his reaction, because the truth is on your side. Forgiving an offense immediately is too reckless, since there is a high probability of the situation repeating in the future. But if you still decide to reconcile first, talk to the guy without accusations and open up to him your feelings.

When you meet, listen to him carefully. Perhaps he will say something you never thought of. Try to understand his motives and look at the situation from the outside. Alternatively, you can give him a surprise that will melt his heart and quickly find a common language.

Or better yet, just come up and hug him, because two lovers don’t need any words, and hugs sometimes become much more eloquent than any phrases.

How to make peace with a guy if he avoids communication?

It happens that even a few days after a quarrel, a guy does not want to make peace, avoids meetings and does not answer the phone. In this case, reconciliation via SMS or email will be optimal. When writing, a lot will depend on the correct choice of words. Avoid template sentences, especially poetry. It’s better to write to the guy how worried you are, how you miss him and are looking forward to meeting him - write what you really feel, and be sure that one phrase is enough for reconciliation, especially if it is really expected at the other end.

www.mnogo-otvetov.ru

Home Relationships How to make peace with a guy

We all know one myth that mentions an ideal relationship between lovers who never quarrel, live wonderfully, soul to soul until old age - this is just a myth and in life everything happens completely differently. Disputes and disagreements are present in any relationship.

Of course, no one is to blame for a quarrel - both are to blame, and therefore the two of them should bear responsibility for what is happening; blaming each other or one alone is quite stupid. But judging by what actually happens, one person bears responsibility for the quarrel or the cause of the conflict.

What to do if a quarrel has already occurred?

First of all, you should calm down, restore your thoughts, feelings and calm your emotions. Just think: the quarrel was in high tones, hurtful words were said and quite sharply expressed expressions that could hurt each other, and then the phrase is said: “Come on, don’t pay attention, let’s forget!” This looks less like a person’s apology, but more like some kind of mockery, and after these words a new wave of scandal may even break out.

Therefore, it would be right to wait a few hours after the scandal. At this time, it is best to somehow distract yourself, do something that brings you pleasure or any other routine work. For example, washing things by hand. Do not throw it in the washing machine, but rather wash it by hand, so that your thoughts go far from the events that took place the day before. By putting all your negative energy into washing, you will feel relief, all grievances and bad mood will go away along with the soapy water. Try it, it really works. This method of relieving irritation has been common for quite a long time, and our grandmothers used it with success.

In the most emotional moments, you can say such offensive words, for which you will later be not only ashamed, but also difficult. When people quarrel, they forget the well-known saying: “The word is not a sparrow; if it flies out, you won’t catch it.” It’s much easier to say something than to make amends afterwards with a guilty look. You should wait a little until everything calms down, emotions move aside and common sense takes their place.

The beginning to reconciliation can be the most necessary and at the same time simple words - “Forgive me!” There is no point in starting to sort things out again and trying to understand who was to blame for the scandal. All words spoken after the words of forgiveness should be based on your feelings and experiences, without affecting the feelings of your loved one. “It’s so bad when you and I are in a quarrel, let’s make up!” - such simple words can influence the situation and finally melt this icy barrier between two people and bring a smile. The relationship will definitely improve soon, the main thing is not to miss the moment and take a step towards the other person.

If, in a fit of rage, you managed to say a bunch of nasty things and now you are not sure that your significant other will forgive you for this, make a surprise visit to your partner. This method will be the most effective and will work 100%. If you see that anger and resentment still stand between you, then this sincere concern and desire to restore the relationship will not go unnoticed. But at the same time, it’s worth remembering that the desire must be sincere, but if something interferes, then is it worth putting up with?

It often happens that a great desire to make peace becomes another reason for another scandal. Therefore, you should not make the mistake of starting with the words: “I, of course, apologize, but you were wrong” or “You yourself are to blame for everything, why should you be offended” and all that kind of thing. These words will only cause a storm of emotions in the partner and a desire to protect himself, and then you won’t have to count on a normal dialogue, this will not lead to anything good.

Even though the problem remains unresolved, it is better to postpone the debriefing until next time.

You should not look for “who is right and who is wrong” in the current situation, you should not get personal and you need to take measures to avoid similar situations in the future.

Under no circumstances should you “hush up” the problem and go to bed without improving your relationship with each other. This behavior can lead to more protracted quarrels, and, as we know, a small crack can create a huge abyss. Try to talk to each other and seek compromises, maybe then mutual understanding and peace will arise in the couple. It is worth remembering that life is short and you should not waste time on grievances, it is better to devote this time to pleasant moments.

missis-x.com

Quarrels and insults spoil and destroy the relationship between a guy and a girl. Indeed, it is actually easier to destroy than to build. And after the girl realizes her guilt in what happened, she thinks about how to properly make peace with her boyfriend. But the one who makes reconciliation is not always wrong. Very often, one person in a couple makes concessions in order to save the relationship. In this article we will tell you how to improve your relationship with your lover.

There is not a single couple in the world that does not quarrel. We are all imperfect, and so are our relationships. But this does not prevent us from improving each other and achieving harmony in relationships. Any person can break down and freak out. But not everyone can realize their guilt and apologize.

Don't humiliate yourself for the sake of an apology. Guys really don't like annoying girls. This lowers your self-esteem and only makes the situation worse. Yes, perhaps you are to blame. But this does not mean that you need to throw yourself under your feet.

If you don't want to step on the same rake every time, you need to realize something. Namely: what is your fault, and what is the reason that you did this. This event should serve as a lesson for you, and you need to draw conclusions.

Remember, in any quarrel there are always two people to blame. Just one is a little more, and the other is less. One started a quarrel, the other allowed it.

There is no need to rush into apologies. Usually such apologies are not conscious, and your partner feels it. Therefore, bring yourself to a state of calm and analyze what happened. Now we can move on to solving your problem.

Let's look at how to properly make peace with a guy:

1. Approach him. If you have the opportunity to see a guy, then take it. Come to him and tell him about your experiences, about your guilt and apologize. If he loves you, he will appreciate and forgive you.

2. Write an SMS message. If a guy really values you, and he doesn’t use a quarrel to break off the relationship, he will definitely answer. Don't expect instant results. Perhaps he wants to teach you a lesson and is playing a game of silence. It’s better, of course, to meet and discuss everything with the guy, but if he doesn’t give such an opportunity, then an apology via SMS will come in handy.

3. Make an appointment. You need to assign the guy a place and time to meet. If he doesn’t pick up the phone, then again, write to him in advance about the time and place of the meeting and that regardless of his answer, you will wait at the specified place. If a guy loves you, and he doesn’t have any force majeure circumstances, then he will come. It is advisable to then go with him to the place of your first meeting or your favorite restaurant. There, sincerely apologize for your actions. In the worst case, he won’t come, but then you will feel light in your heart, because you tried and went to meet him.

Apology instructions:

Step No. 1. Tell the guy that you were worried about the quarrel.

Step No. 2. Tell him about the realized guilt and the reason that became the quarrel.

Step No. 3. Ask for forgiveness while indicating what exactly you are apologizing for.

Step No. 4. Finish by saying that this will not happen again (say the reason for the quarrel again).

This is the correct apology. After all, in it you mention three times what you apologized for, which means you will remember this incident and will not repeat your mistake again.

mojsovet.com

How to make peace with a guy if the girl is to blame?

All people quarrel and make peace throughout their lives. Sometimes conflicts occur for serious reasons, and sometimes just for trifles. Couples in love especially often quarrel. Today we will talk on the topic “How can a girl make peace with a guy?”

Quarrel is a completely normal occurrence. People have disagreements. If you have a fight with a guy, don’t get discouraged and don’t despair. If he really loves you, he will forgive you. The main thing is to find the right approach to it.

How to make peace with a guy if the girl is to blame

Start making peace when you have completely cooled down after a quarrel. Sit down and think about the reason for the quarrel. Answer yourself the question: why did you do this and why? Find your mistake. Put yourself in the guy's shoes. Think carefully about what you will tell him and how you will start the conversation. Just under no circumstances start shouting, being insolent or blaming him, because this can develop into a new scandal or even separation. Typically, a simple phrase, “I'm sorry, I was wrong,” will do the trick. After all, admitting your mistake will help you soften the guy and make him listen to you.

Reconciliation options:

Meeting. Invite him to meet. This could be your favorite cafe or restaurant, a quiet park or something else. You can meet under a pretext, give back the forgotten item, or return yours.
Present. Give your loved one a gift. And what? This move should also be used as a reconciliation option. After all, everyone loves gifts. Perhaps you will find something really valuable for him. Remember what he is interested in, what he dreams about. For example:watch;mobile phone case;photo frame;book, etc.
Surprise. Give him a pleasant surprise. Invite his parents or friends. Prepare a delicious lunch. If he really cares about his family and friends, he will appreciate your efforts and forgive you.
Romantic evening. Arrange a romantic evening for two. Send him an SMS asking him to come and indicate the exact time. He will definitely come, if only out of curiosity. Prepare a delicious dinner, a bath with rose petals, and meet him “in full dress” (this is at your discretion).
By SMS. You can resort to this method only if the guy avoids direct contact with you and does not answer phone calls. The text of the SMS should not be pretentious and pompous, there is no need for lyrical and sweet poems, because they can only anger the guy more. Write to him briefly and to the point, only what worries you.

How to make peace with a guy if he doesn't communicate

If a guy doesn’t answer calls and texts, doesn’t want to see you, openly ignores you, this means either you seriously offended him in a quarrel, or his ego is too inflated.

In the first case, try to arrange a meeting, call or write an SMS. But don't be too annoying and don't chase him. If he loves you, he will compromise.