People tend to converge and diverge. But when a breakup occurs not on your initiative, it becomes very difficult to get over it. The girls you love can also leave because they don’t love you, are looking for a more comfortable or rich life, have fallen in love, or are simply tired of everything. You should remember that you cannot control the desires and thoughts of another person, so if he does not want to be with you, you have to say goodbye to him, no matter how difficult it may be.
Breaking up with your girlfriend can be difficult. At first, the guy may not believe what happened. A week will pass, he will try to return her. Another week will pass, he will start giving her gifts and inviting her on dates. Another month will pass, and the guy will again try to show up in the girl’s life in order to charm her with him and bring her back. However, things don’t always work out the way you want. If the guy has made every attempt to get the girl back, and they were unsuccessful, or the reader of the men's magazine site initially realized that the girl had seriously left him, then there is only one thing left: to survive the breakup.
The period of adaptation after separation
It is difficult for a person to break off a relationship and go through that period when he suffers and comes to terms with what happened. It’s even more difficult when this happens not at your request, but at the initiative of your ex-partner. Naturally, as a person gets used to a lonely existence after a breakup, he goes through stages when he wants to return what was destroyed. He begins to doubt, to wonder if he did the right thing. Many thoughts push him back into a relationship with his ex-partner. Although if you remember the reasons why you separated, they won’t seem so harmless.
This is called the adjustment period after a breakup. Has come in life new stage when something has changed dramatically. It's like changing jobs, moving to a new place, communicating with a new group of people. It is necessary to adapt to new living conditions and get used to them. What changed in life after the breakup was that you became a free person without a partner. Everything else remains the same - your body, desires, goals, parents, etc. The only thing that has changed is that you decided to disappear from your life or you pushed out the one and only person who caused pain, brought suffering, humiliated, and so on.
Do you really want to return the dirt that existed in your relationship, just not to adapt to your freedom? Are you really so afraid of being alone and looking for another loved one, just to be with someone?
If you are in the “post-breakup” stage, then give yourself time to get used to it, just like you would to a new city in which you decided to live. You will be a little uncomfortable and scared, but give yourself time to adapt. Stop thinking about the past: it has already passed and there is nothing you can do. Why waste time on something that cannot be changed? Start thinking about the present and the future you want to live. Move towards realizing the future you envision for yourself. You also dream about how there will be a person nearby who will love you, respect you, appreciate you, help you and build relationships together. So, start moving towards that future. You deserve to have your wishes come true; there is that person nearby who will not make you suffer, but, on the contrary, will make you happy.
In the meantime, while you are just moving towards such a wonderful future, try to find support for yourself in the present. Maybe it will be your friends or relatives, perhaps your work or your hobby will support you during the period of accepting reality.
This phase is temporary. It won't last long if you stop grieving and start allowing yourself to live new life, in which you find yourself. Remember, you somehow lived before the relationship that recently broke up. You were happy, you were striving for something, you were doing something. So why not let yourself be again happy man even in such a difficult period? Allow yourself to adapt. There is no need to doubt whether you did the right thing by breaking up, there is no need to calculate how. This is already the past - you have already made your choice. You will always have time to get hurt, but being happy is much more important. It’s better to start going towards what you want, and not be content with the crumbs that past relationships give you.
You decide. But the state you are in now is just a period of adaptation. If you just wait, you will soon notice that you no longer want to return your departed partner.
If she left, it means she doesn't love you
The guy just needs to learn a simple thought: “If he left, it means he doesn’t love you.” And if she left on emotions, without thinking, then she will leave the guy more than once in order to prove something to herself or to stroke her pride when he tries to get her back.
You should not fight for a person who, of his own free will, does not want to be with you. love relationship. If your partner felt something for you, some kind of love, he would strive to be with you, build relationships, communicate with you as often as possible. But if a person leaves you, abandons you, does not strive to devote time, but devotes it to others, this speaks only of one thing - she does not love you.
Believe actions, not words, because they speak louder. Do not forget that there are such games when a partner is ready to tell you anything, confess his love to you from the very first days of meeting, and also not explain the reasons for the breakup, not leave you completely, give hope, and so on. This is how people play who just want some benefit from you.
Love. When it arises in a person’s heart, he tries to spend as much time as possible with his loved one, reveal his secrets, not cause heartache, and not leave his partner. And if he suddenly makes a mistake, he returns to his loved one, and does not offer him friendship, temporary separation or friendly sex. It’s difficult to stop loving so quickly and just start being acquaintances... When a person loves, you only have to fight with your own selfishness and pride in order to come and make peace with your loved one. When someone is loved, they are not offered friendship or separation after a love relationship. When you love, you want to return to your loved one, especially if you see that he wants a relationship.
That's why it exists. That is why the one who loves tries to return his beloved when he resists. This is why you may not know the answer to the question “Why did you break up?” Because your partner doesn't love you.
You wouldn't have to fight for your loved one if he loved you. He wouldn't leave you if he was experiencing something. He wouldn't let you feel bad if he had love.
How to forget (let go) of a person who left you? You weren't ready to break up, and that's a fact. But now you need to not only force yourself not to think about the person, but also let him go yourself. If you force yourself to do something, you will only develop a reaction that can suddenly appear and overwhelm you at the most inopportune moment. Moreover, if this moment is provoked by the return of your beloved. And this means that you need to forget your ex-partner in such a way that any memory of him does not evoke any emotions in you, that is, there is complete indifference, as if you were an acquaintance or a stranger.
You need to make sure that with all your heart and soul you want to leave your beloved who left you! You need to turn to those memories and develop a system of thoughts that would provoke you to want to leave your partner because he makes you unhappy. Stop remembering the good things, start replaying the bad deeds and events that connected you with the one who left you. You yourself need to want to leave your ex-partner who did not appreciate you. Then you will stop suffering from unrequited love and will no longer return to someone who has already abandoned you or betrayed you.
When a couple breaks up, the guy usually tries to get the girl he loves back. However, if the ex does not immediately agree to renew the relationship, then experts do not recommend that the guy further humiliate himself in front of her. Girls love to play a game when guys try to win them back, but they think, turn their noses, and put off solving the issue until later. Either she wants to resume the relationship now, or you are breaking up with her without trying to get her back.
Don't cling to people. It is your fear of losing a relationship with someone that makes you do things that encourage people to leave you. For example, jealousy is the result of the fear of losing a loved one. You want to be with your partner, but your lack of confidence that this will happen makes you jealous. You seem to be trying to save the relationship, but in fact you are only spoiling it by nagging your partner, ruining his mood because of your own fear.
Well, a person will leave you. And what? Can't you find another great partner? Of course, this does not mean that you want to break up. On the contrary, want to maintain a relationship with someone you love and appreciate, but at the same time understand that if a person does not want to be with you, then let him leave, rather than you suffer next to him.
Don't cling to people. Give your loved ones, family, and friends the right to choose: let them decide for themselves whether to be with you or not. If they don't want to, then let them leave. If they want to be with you, they will be devoted to you. Everything will be built on own desire a person who allows himself to be with those people who are truly interesting to him.
They are not the first, they are not the last. There are many people living on this planet. You won't even be able to meet all of them in your entire life. And imagine how many people you don't know. Nothing bad will happen to you just because someone doesn't want to be with you. You can find more interesting and successful people to replace this person. No matter how wonderful the person who leaves you may seem, know that there are more interesting, wonderful, beautiful and successful people. You just don’t know them, because you don’t notice anyone except those who enter your little world in which you live.
Expand your circle of acquaintances, and you will understand that there are more educated, beautiful and interesting people. Don’t be upset, because you can find a replacement for the one who didn’t want to be with you. And it depends only on you whether this replacement will be better or worse.
Bottom line
Many times in life a guy will have to say goodbye to people, no matter how dear and beloved they are to him. It is impossible to see and communicate with everyone all the time. It's impossible to date all the girls. You will have to break up with one to build a relationship with the other. But if a girl leaves on her own, then you shouldn’t stop her. She is already a big girl to make decisions and be responsible for the consequences of her actions.
She didn’t scream, didn’t reproach with complaints, and didn’t accuse me of anything specific. She simply (in a calm and balanced tone!) said that she was tired of the relationship and that she no longer saw any point in continuing it. At first he tried to somehow stop her. It even got to the point of childish platitudes - grabbing hands, sitting on the sofa and the dead-end: “Well, explain, what’s wrong with me?” And she just got up, opened the door, looked sadly and left, at best saying: “It’s about us, not you.”
A similar situation has probably been familiar to every representative of the stronger sex at least once, but, whatever life experience, not everyone manages to learn how to survive a breakup with a girl. Of course, all responsibility for the current situation falls on the shoulders of the one who leaves, but this does not make it any easier, because both are to blame.
Why is this happening?
Yes, the first question that a man asks himself, having come to his senses a little after what happened, comes down to a childish one: “WHY?” Only in this case we are far from talking about naive childishness like “why don’t buns grow on trees?” – in the adult world everything is much more complicated. After all, it seemed like he was out of his depth for her, fulfilling any desire - well, what’s wrong?There can be a lot of reasons, in this case there is no need to go into the “forest” and start self-flagellation, saying that you are a weakling and a loser, since the woman left you. It’s possible to meet other people’s requirements, but is it really necessary if they are too high? In the end, it may also happen that you got a partner who was not created for family relations- yes, yes, such people exist, they say about them: “cats walking on their own.”
The first thought that comes to a man’s mind is: he needs to return it. Ask yourself a question, is this the right way to do it if the person you lived with was completely different, and now it turns out that you can’t even tame him, you can’t even just leave him near you?... Don’t look for psychologist’s advice here , how to return what does not exist - only recommendations on how to live on and what to do to make things a little easier after separation.
First steps: how to get out of the depression of awareness of what has happened
Well, what if you don’t even want to breathe? - you ask and you will be right. Not all at once. We give you a few days to come to your senses, fed up with your grief. Just please don't make mistakes:- Don't try to be brave and try to be an "iron man" all the time. Just be who you are: a man whose girlfriend/wife/lover left him and who doesn’t know how to get over a breakup with his girlfriend. Your princess is not around - so there is no one to “knight” before. And why pretend that everything is great if it isn’t?
Do what you want at the moment: cry into your pillow like a young lady? Cry! Scream? Yes, as much as will fit! The main thing is not to push the negativity deep into yourself - be sure to give it a way out, only then it will become easier. Of course, you can take “time off” from work to do all these things, but this is not fatal. Take a couple of days for whining and self-pity - during this time anything is possible. But, remember, only three days!
- If you can’t experience grief alone, do you really need an audience? Take one but reliable friend and tell him everything out loud in order. Yes, that’s all – and the more detailed, the better. What she did, how she acted, why she betrayed, remembering even the smallest details that they themselves had forgotten. Throw yourself into the pool headlong, but don’t forget to get out on time.
- After the three-day period, it’s time to stop playing the game called “poor me.” Just get off the couch, turn off the depressing music and get down to business. To begin with, at least clean the apartment, it probably needs this for a long time. It’s even better if you start making repairs - you’ll be able to do physical labor, and it will become easier to start living from scratch.
It’s easy for a man to find a “load”: it can be dumbbells, exercise machines, sports exercises - exhaust yourself to the maximum so that there simply isn’t enough time to think about what happened. By the way, the effectiveness of this method against depression has been scientifically proven: during physical activity, endorphins are released, neutralizing adrenaline, which is a reaction to separation.
It is impossible to forget, it is impossible to return: what to do next?
So, you acknowledged the loss and came to terms with the current order of things (at least almost). After this, you can take specific actions to come to your senses.Carlson's principle: calmness - and only that
The surest way to survive a breakup with a girl is to maintain self-control as much as possible, without turning once sincere love into hatred, which is kept at a distance of a couple of steps. Try to remember only the good things that happened between you. Difficult? Still would!Be a friend
No matter how fantastic it may sound, try to maintain friendly relations with your ex. If this is still impossible, the psychologist’s advice boils down to maintaining a bright image in your soul.Take care of yourself
The period after separation - best time to find a new hobby or hobby, something that will really bring you pleasure. On the one hand, this is a great way to get distracted, on the other hand, it’s a chance to make new interesting acquaintances. It doesn’t hurt not only to change your image or clothing style, but also to make an internal change - to start liking yourself.Don't try to replace
It is easier for a man to get over a breakup by looking for an alternative: in other words, in an effort to find someone similar to his previous lover who could fill the void.She was the best and existence without her makes no sense? But by thinking this way, you will never learn to live on and you will not be able to open the door to new relationships. Surely a woman is already waiting for you - good, the best, albeit a little different, but yours.
Turn a minus into a plus
The advice of a psychologist recommends determining for yourself what is good in the absence of your former loved one. You will be surprised, but the benefits will definitely be found at the very first tension of the “convolutions”. You are now a “free bird” and can afford absolutely everything – discos and clubs, trips with friends and “hen parties”.After this, it won’t hurt to realize everything that is missing: female warmth and understanding, physical relationships, finally. Set your goal to achieve all this, but without the participation of your ex, acting on the principle: “It was good with her, but with the other it will be even better!”
And, most importantly, don’t even think about looking chance encounters, thinking that to find out how to survive a breakup with your girlfriend, conversations a la “to set the record straight”, requests to return and endless pleas for forgiveness will help. Be guided by folk wisdom that you cannot enter the same river again. In especially painful cases, it is advisable to limit the points of contact with the general social circle.
Divorce: new passport – new life?
It's one thing to know how to get over a breakup with a girl, but it's quite another when... we're talking about about the collapse of an official marriage. The reasons for divorce can be different - from adultery to the banal “they didn’t get along.”IN modern world The stereotype is firmly entrenched that the initiators of the “maiden name” are the representatives of the stronger sex, while in reality in two thirds of cases the main zeal is female. The situation can also be complicated by the presence of common children, who, most often, remain with their mothers.
The main thing that a man needs to do in this case after the experience is to under no circumstances stop communicating with the child. You should not think about yourself and your own pain, but about how to minimize the psychological trauma of your child, regardless of what share of custody you have. To achieve this, make every effort to ensure the routine of life to which the baby is accustomed. In light of current events, this is very difficult, but we must try.
Maintain family habits and, if possible, do not change schools, find common points of contact, topics for communication, spend leisure time together more often, without getting personal and unflattering comments about the experience like: “but your mother did something wrong” or “but I’m like this” blockhead." Try to explain everything without lying, and at the same time in a way that the child can really understand, without creating hidden resentment towards the parents.
If you promised your child something, be sure to keep your word: go for walks and go to the cinema, take care of him and take him home for the night - just be there and take part in the fate of your offspring. Remember that love comes and goes, but children are forever. If you manage to maintain a warm relationship with your child, we can say with confidence that you know 50% how to survive a divorce from your wife.
Life after a breakup: taking it to the next level
So, the breakup is long over, you have almost gotten used to your new official status and have practically come to your senses, realizing that after “everything” the end of the world has not happened. The emphasis is set, there is no depression, but the feeling that life is still not normal can’t go away. What to do next?- don't stop working on yourself. It doesn’t matter how old you are – 20 or 40! – at any age and marital status, a person must look cheerful, healthy and beautiful. Try to maintain a balance of optimal self-esteem.
- learn to trust women without pretending to much at once, and not waste your time on trifles, trying to consider every representative of the fair sex you meet as a potential mate.
- do not discuss the nuances of your personal life with new acquaintances and do not give others advice on how to survive a divorce from your wife - yes, no one doubts that you are almost a pro. But, believe me, this is not a topic for communication that will help you make new necessary acquaintances.
- Avoid drinking too much alcohol alone. Yes, you are now your own boss, but this way you can completely unnoticed turn into an alcoholic. Bored and have nothing to do? Communicate with your child – there is never too much interaction with him after a divorce.
One of the basic human needs is the need for affection and love. But when a relationship with a loved one breaks down for any reason, life begins to be perceived in a black light, and depression sets in. It becomes impossible to simply continue living as the brain is consumed by memories of the past. The question arises of how to psychologically restructure, how to cope with parting with a loved one. If you are a man and your girlfriend recently left you, or you are a girl and just broke up with your boyfriend, a psychologist will tell you how to survive the pain of loss.
Psychology: how to survive a breakup?
The psychologist's first advice on how to survive a breakup is to give yourself time to grieve, to internalize a kind of mourning for lost relationships and broken hopes for a future together. After all, the rupture of a significant relationship is archetypally experienced as the experience of death. An individual has to come to terms with irreversible changes in his life, learn to live on new energy, without the love and support of a partner, which he is accustomed to counting on.
After parting with their loved ones, people suffer not because of the person themselves, but because of the emotions that they experienced in the relationship. Recognize that you are addicted to the feeling of loving euphoria caused by the release of neuropeptides and compounds chemically similar to amphetamines, a class of recreational drugs. Suffering after the departure of a loved one is in many ways similar to the pathological state of drug withdrawal.
For one category of individuals, the most pleasant thing in a relationship is to feel like the object of another person’s close attention, care, and support. For another - to experience the very feeling of falling in love, elation, and idealize a partner. In both cases, suffering due to the departure of a loved one is a consequence of selfishness.
The good news is that you can learn to create all the good feelings you experienced in a relationship on your own. And no longer depend emotionally on having your loved one nearby.
You need to grow, develop, and strengthen your parental subpersonality, which accepts, loves, and protects you under any circumstances. Make sure that your inner voice always sounds approving and affectionate. And try to trust the pleasant emotions that arise in response to good thoughts about yourself and your life. Treat yourself with paternal (maternal for men) care, and the need for a codependent relationship with fixation on a partner will significantly decrease.
The second step - again As a rule, we admire certain qualities in a partner that, as it seems to us, we ourselves lack. Was he the smartest, the most gentle, the most purposeful? Cultivate these qualities in yourself! Don't wait for someone from outside to come and complete you.
There is no need to hope that you can still get together. At least until you find a sense of peace of mind on your own. If you try to get your loved one back before you get rid of your addiction to the relationship, you risk repeating the same negative scenario.
Replace the need to make your loved one your property with the desire to make him happy. You need to find the strength to give him freedom. And do it with peace of mind. Recognize that everyone has their own path. And be grateful that your loved one chose to go through some part of it with you.
How to behave correctly if a man leaves you: advice from a psychologist
When a relationship breaks down, not only feelings, but also worldview become vulnerable. often undermines a woman’s deepest beliefs about love, devotion, justice, and men. A rejected woman experiences a feeling of humiliation and loss of self-worth.
A huge amount of energy is spent on introspection and giving yourself bad marks. Conclusions are drawn that it was necessary to behave differently, dress differently, have sex. “Now it’s even embarrassing to remember what I thought about myself after my husband left me,” shares Veronica (31 years old). When the level of self-flagellation reached the point where I considered the reason for his departure to be the lack of smoothness of my legs, it was as if a stop signal went off inside me. I realized that even women with ideal appearance from the modeling industry are abandoned by men. It’s funny, but this thought made me feel relieved.”
Understand that if your man truly valued your union and treated you as an equal partner, he would have made you aware of his dissatisfaction with some aspects of your relationship in advance. I would give you a chance to find a way out of the situation together. Analyzing your mistakes is a useful activity. But only on condition that you know how to forgive yourself for your mistakes. Accept what you did due to inexperience and promise yourself not to repeat the same mistakes in the future.
Every woman dreams of being adored. A common mistake is to immediately rush into a new relationship in the hope of feeling needed, desired, and loved again. However, the psychologist’s advice on how to survive if a man leaves you is not to rush. Wait until your self-confidence is restored. Otherwise, you risk creating a relationship that matches your poor sense of self. If you are cheated on, you will only attract people who will treat you like your ex-partner.
It is generally accepted that the stronger sex is much less emotional than the female. However, men are capable of experiencing the same strong feelings as women. They are simply taught from childhood to maintain the image strong man, and they get used to hiding their pain. As a result, separation is even more traumatic for them than for women.
A woman can openly sob on her friend’s shoulder for more than one evening. A man, even in the presence of his closest friend, may be hesitant to admit how depressed he is. And male friends are usually frightened by the expression of strong feelings of another representative of the stronger sex. They have no idea how to provide proper psychological support in such cases. Therefore, the way out would be to apply for
Breaking up a relationship almost never brings positive things with it, but is quite a stressful phenomenon. Contrary to popular belief about men's stinginess with emotions and experiences, guys can also regret and suffer over lost love.
Some carefully hide it, displacing negative feelings, others replace them with various activities and hobbies, and others plunge into new relationships. One way or another, parting always leaves a mark on the soul and requires psychological recovery. The question may be spinning in your head: how to survive a breakup with a girl and not lose yourself?
What happens after a breakup?
What are guys thinking?
When a girl initiates a breakup, quite often the guy is confronted with a fact about it. In some situations, male representatives assume that their union is coming to an end and it can no longer be saved. But sometimes such news from a girl hits young man out of the blue, and he is perplexed what to do.
At first after a breakup, a guy’s brain may be overloaded with many questions, such as:
Why did this happen?
What is wrong with me?
Does she have another?
What have I missed in my relationship? What didn’t you notice in time?
Why did I allow myself to be treated like this?
How to survive a breakup with your girlfriend?
These and other questions can torment guys when they were not ready to end the relationship.
Why are feelings repressed?
As a rule, after having to break up, guys sometimes experience conflicting feelings. On the one hand, this is love and immense attraction to the girl, on the other, anger and annoyance that she did this. There may be simultaneous sadness, longing for lost relationships and a desire for action (“We need to change something, do something, plan”). The desire to return your beloved is often combined with the desire to take revenge on her. Feelings of guilt and self-flagellation can go hand in hand with resentment towards the girl.
Guys have a hard time going through a breakup also because they almost always set themselves the task of hiding their feelings from others.
The stereotype that men don’t cry puts a lot of pressure on the mind and prevents them from throwing out accumulated emotions. So it turns out that all experiences are “driven” even deeper inside oneself and drowned out by any means.
You can, of course, fall into despair, withdraw into yourself, constantly replay memories of your beloved in your head, write messages to her and call her asking her to come back. But still, most guys try to control themselves and not get depressed. 
The pain of loss is replaced by various activities (immersion in work, communicating with friends and being in noisy companies, turning to hobbies and extreme sports, creating new relationships, etc.)
Of course, everyone chooses their own way of how to survive a breakup with a girl. The goal is to come to your senses as quickly as possible, to recover emotionally and physically in order to be ready for a new relationship. Therefore, destructive ways of overcoming stress (involvement in alcohol, drugs) are excluded.
How to get over a breakup with a girl
Recovery after a breakup involves the following order: accepting the breakup - getting rid of negative emotions– we logically analyze the situation – we recover physically and mentally – we prepare for a new relationship. The recommendations below will help you follow this sequence in overcoming the stress of separation.
Dude, I'll tell you this: coming back is a thankless task. Very rarely do people live in perfect harmony after separation and reunion. A cup with a crack allows water to pass through, and why is it needed, so chipped and leaking, when there are so many other beautiful cups around?
It's time to start a new relationship, but first you need to let go of the old ones so as not to spoil anything. Regardless of how the relationship ended, there is ALWAYS resentment. Even if you remain friends (who are you kidding?), you have resentment, anger and irritation towards each other. You see, relationships don't just end like that. They end when something didn’t work out for the two of you and you start reproaching each other for not doing something for the common cause. If the relationship has outlived its usefulness, you mentally scold each other that no one did anything about it. If the relationship ended because one of you seriously messed up or fell in love with the other, there remains a huge inhuman wound from sick pride and the realization that the one you trusted so much deceived you in your best feelings. Therefore, when two people try to remain friends when someone in a relationship cheated on the other, they will not be able to be friends and adults in an adult relationship, because you cannot treat the person who cheated you normally.
Forget about it and get over it!
1. Focus on yourself
Dude! You have some happy free time! Now you can finally take care of yourself. You have free evenings that you can devote to yourself and self-improvement of all kinds. When was the last time you did something for yourself? When did you go to the cinema alone without a girlfriend or a group of friends? Go, it's a really great experience, quite enjoyable! Instead of sitting around and suffering, keep your mind and hands busy useful things. I had a stupid period in my life when I broke up with a girl who was dear to me. It cannot be said that we were very close, but it was difficult to part. I would come home after work with beer and salmon rolls with cream cheese and eat them in huge quantities. Sometimes I forgot to eat, but I didn’t forget to drink beer every day, even if not to the point of unconsciousness. As a result, for short term I gained five kilograms, lost my shape, and had to regain it. So I went to the gym again, started working out at home, and I still haven’t given up this cool thing. What helped me get out of this state was not beer or salmon rolls, but a rocking chair, good films and books. After a while I completely forgot about her. She's a fool, to be honest.
Most breakups, even if there was no love in the relationship, are somehow painful, if only because of wounded pride.
2. Focus on work
Work hard, man! Take part-time jobs, if you realize that you are not very busy, you can start freelancing. You should be busy, you shouldn't have the opportunity to think about her. When you are very passionate about something, then you forget, when should you think about the ladies? Most breakups, even if there was no love in the relationship, are somehow painful, if only because of wounded pride. For the good guys, it goes away in a couple of days, but some people suffer for a long time. By focusing on work, you can achieve new career heights, learn a new programming language and improve your skills, which, you see, is not superfluous!
3. Family
How is your mom? Haven't seen her for a long time? Visit her more often. If she lives in another city and the journey to her will take several days, call her. Call her on the phone, on Skype or write letters. Mom will be pleased, and you won’t feel lonely. If you have brothers, sisters or other relatives, call them, go for a walk together, make contacts. You shouldn't feel lonely, that's what family is for. This is mercantile, but correct.
4. Cut off all contacts
You have her as a friend in in social networks? ! You don’t need her, her presence will be another painful reminder of your failed relationship, unless, of course, everything ended amicably. I once deleted my ex from contact a good amount of time after the breakup. I had almost forgotten about her existence, we hardly corresponded (Hello, guys), and I only felt some irritation towards her. She almost immediately wrote me a letter with something like this: “Why are you acting like a child? I thought you were an adult." Is it hypocritical for adults to call friends people with whom they do not do what friends usually do together and practically do not communicate? You see, dude, those people who broke up and continue to communicate can rarely be called friends. Most often, these are two people who tried to live together and didn’t succeed, so they occasionally communicate with each other. Few mutual reproaches, because the relationship is “not the same.” An adult is one who can easily give up ballast. And she is ballast!
5. Exercise
Nothing kills a girl more than your personal success. What kind of success can you have? New job? Cool car? Great girl? This is all cool, of course. But if you turn from an ordinary guy into a tough dude with beautiful body, over which the chicks will dry, she is guaranteed to turn green with anger! As I already wrote, rocking and any physical activity is a great way to produce endorphins and an activity that perfectly lifts your mood. The first time is for you, of course, but then, if you have willpower, you have to get involved. The main thing is not to quit! Suffer not internally, but externally, and then don’t suffer at all - enjoy the process and the results.
6. Start reading a large series of books
Do you know what I did when I broke up with that girl I wrote about above? I rocked, read a lot and watched a lot of good smart movies. I read not only classics, philosophy and psychology, but also began to read large series of novels. Seriously, it's a great way to take your mind off everything. You can read classic multi-volume books like “War and Peace” or “The Forsyte Saga”, or you can pay attention to high-quality science fiction and fantasy by reading all of Tolkien’s books, “Dune” by Frank Herbert, “A Song of Ice and Fire” by Martin or the saga of a good Polish writer Sapkowski about the witcher Geralt of Rivia. Believe it or not, I read them all, well, or partially! So you plunge into the world of someone’s fantasy, load your head and take a break from the rocking chair, work and the one that broke your heart.
