How many people - so many opinions. It is impossible to meet people whose views are exactly the same. We all have different characters, values, outlook on life, tastes, so conflict- This is a normal and integral part of how people interact with each other.
What is meant by a conflict situation?
A conflict situation is a lack of agreement between the parties, arising due to opposing values, interests, judgments and goals of the parties.
It is generally accepted that a conflict is necessarily accompanied by open opposition from its participants, quarrels, negative emotions, etc. But this is not always the case. The process of solving a problem and its outcome depend on the correctly chosen strategy of behavior.
Types of behavior strategies in conflict
American psychologist Kenneth Thomas identified 5 strategies for behavior in a conflict situation:
· compromise;
· cooperation;
· device;
· rivalry;
· avoidance.
Each of them has both its advantages and disadvantages. Let's look at this with specific examples.
Examples of conflict resolution
To better understand how each strategy works, let's look at them using specific examples.
Compromise
This strategy involves resolving conflict situations through mutual concessions from both parties. Each participant in the conflict makes concessions, sacrificing some of his own interests in exchange for the concessions of the other, in order to ultimately come to a common solution that will suit both of them.
The compromise strategy is usually chosen in situations where there is a goal to reach an agreement in a conflict, but in such a way that each party wins at least something, when the conflicting parties recognize each other’s interests and values and want the outcome of the conflict to be as objective as possible.
The use of compromise is justified if the parties to the conflict have mutually exclusive interests and are in equal conditions. Often this method is used as the last opportunity to resolve a controversial situation while preserving the relationship.
Example: The husband wants his wife to cook dinner every day. And my wife says that she gets tired after work, especially since she also has to wash the dishes. Then the spouses find a compromise solution: the wife cooks and the husband washes the dishes.
Cooperation
The cooperation strategy involves the longest and most detailed study of a controversial issue. Resolving a conflict situation is not the main goal here; the most important thing is to satisfy the interests of each participant in the dispute and develop a mutually beneficial long-term solution to the problem.
Cooperation will be justified and effective if the resolution of the conflict is equally important for all its participants, they are interested in maintaining good long-term relations with each other and are ready to clearly formulate the essence of their claims and interests, listen (the main thing is to hear) the opponent.
The cooperation strategy is ideal for resolving conflict situations with loved ones and relatives, as it involves long and repeated negotiations between the parties.
Collaboration often feels like compromise. The strategies are similar because they can only be used if both parties are interested in resolving the conflict and maintaining the relationship. The key difference between the strategies is that a compromise is achieved at a superficial level and the parties to the conflict are not necessarily in a long-term relationship, but cooperation involves a deeper study of the controversial issue; the conflicting parties, as a rule, are in close and long-term relationships, and therefore are interested in a long-term solution to the issue .
For example, a family with children came to relax at the seaside. On one of the days of rest, the husband and children wanted to spend time actively, so they suggested going to the water park. On the contrary, my wife planned to lie on the beach and sunbathe. Then the husband and wife discuss the current situation and decide to go to the water park with the whole family, because there are slides for active recreation and sun loungers to lie on. As a result, the issue was resolved, each participant in the conflict satisfied their interests.
Device
This model of exiting a conflict situation is most often formed in early childhood. You can identify it using online
Adaptation is a way of smoothing out or resolving a conflict when one of its participants, sacrificing their interests and opinions, yields to another participant, accepting his version of solving the problem.
This strategy is used when:
· the outcome of the conflict is extremely important for the opponent, but at the same time the yielding side “loses almost nothing”;
· maintaining good relationships is more important than standing up for being right;
· the yielding party chooses an adaptation in order to ultimately achieve a resolution of the conflict in its favor in a roundabout way;
· during a dispute, the yielding party realizes that the opponent is truly right;
· the opponent has more power.
Adaptive behavior is justified if the conflict is not that significant, but the disagreements that arise can ruin the relationship. That is, making concessions or losing in a conflict will help maintain relationships with your opponent, which in a particular situation is much more important than defending your position.
If the conflict is serious and greatly violates personal boundaries or affects your life values, then the adaptation will be ineffective, because the opponent will decide that everything is in order and will violate the boundaries again next time. Such a situation may ultimately result in an even more serious conflict, since the dissatisfaction you have accumulated will sooner or later burst out, or will remain “with you” as passive aggression.
Example strategy: You have a rule that you don’t let anyone wear your clothes. A friend came to visit and accidentally spilled coffee on her T-shirt. You love your friend very much and, of course, you will help her out and, as an exception, let her wear your T-shirt.
Rivalry
A person who chooses a strategy of competition in a conflict situation is determined to defeat his opponent no matter what.
Typically, rivalry involves open conflict, when its participants try to prove to each other that they are right, resorting to pressure, raised voices, often insults, or even the use of physical force.
The reasons for this method of conflict resolution may be: protecting life and health, defending personal boundaries when they are violated, a constant desire for leadership in everything, bad manners, and self-centeredness.
Rivalry is unjustified when you are trying to prove that you are right, regardless of the situation and the importance of maintaining a good relationship with your opponent. In conflict situations with close relatives or friends, with children and spouses who are very significant to us, the strategy of competition will fail.
There are situations in life when competition is a necessary strategy of behavior. It should be used if the life and health (yours or those close to you) are in danger, your personal boundaries are severely violated, or your opponent, as they say, simply “does not understand in a good way.” The strategy is also justified in cases where it is necessary to protect someone from physical or moral violence, or unjustified rash acts.
Do you want to witness the conflict from a competitive position? You just need to go to a public place. Although, unfortunately, most often it is in clinics, shops and public catering places that such conflicts are unjustified, and indicate bad manners and emotional licentiousness of those in conflict.
Example of using a strategy: The neighbors listen to music loudly after 11 pm, and you are getting ready for bed. In this situation, your neighbors are violating your personal boundaries, so the best thing to do is to go down to the floor below and remind you that night has fallen. Often this is enough. But sometimes the violators, nodding their heads, 10 minutes later again disturb the neighbors’ peace at night. In this case, it would be best to first warn, and if this does not help, call the police.
Avoidance
This strategy involves leaving, self-elimination, and removing oneself from a conflict situation.
Avoidance of conflict can be expressed both physically - leaving, running away, hanging up the phone, and emotionally - silence, ignoring the topic of conversation, trying to start a conversation on another topic.
Thus, a person does not try to adapt, come to a common decision, or go into open conflict. The reason for this behavior can be both self-doubt and lack of motivation, energy or time to clarify the situation.
If a conflict situation directly affects your interests, then avoidance is not an appropriate way to solve the problem. Yes, you will save your nerve cells and time, but then the conflict will remain unresolved and will only get worse, or it will be resolved, but without your participation, and therefore without taking into account your opinion.
The avoidance strategy is good in situations where the conflict does not directly affect your interests at the moment; whether it is resolved or not does not matter much to you.
As example a situation with neighbors would also work. Let’s say this is not the first time your neighbors have turned on music this late, and you know that after about an hour they usually turn it off. And just in the next hour you are not going to sleep, and the noise does not interfere with your business. The best option would be not to waste your strength and avoid a possible conflict.
How to choose a strategy?
Of the five strategies listed above, it is impossible to single out one that will be the only correct one.
The choice of behavior strategy in a conflict depends on several factors.
1. The essence of the conflict. When a conflict arises, you need to ask yourself the question: what about this situation? Is it really so important that I need to get into an argument or try to negotiate? Which behavior in a particular situation will be more effective? If it turns out that clarifying a controversial issue does not affect your interests, the best course of action would be to avoid the conflict.
2. Interest of the parties. If you understand that it is important for you to clarify the situation and an evasion strategy will not work, you need to understand how interested your opponent is in resolving the conflict. If this is just as important for him, you can start negotiations, that is, choose a strategy of cooperation or compromise.
3. The significance of the relationship with the opponent. When choosing a strategy for behavior in a conflict, you need to understand how important it is to maintain further good relations with your opponent. If maintaining the relationship is important, then, depending on the situation, you can choose cooperation, compromise or accommodation. If it is vitally important to defend your rightness, regardless of further relationships, then competition will be the most suitable strategy.
4.Your own psychological attitude. There are situations when it is necessary to resolve a conflict situation, but there is neither moral strength nor desire to do so. In this case, the best option would be evasion or adaptation. This way, you will give yourself time to rest and recover so that later you can return to resolving the conflict with renewed vigor.
Conflict situations with loved ones
Family and friends are the closest people, relationships with whom play an important role in our lives. Therefore, when disagreements arise, it is important to maintain good relationships with these people. Rivalry in such conflicts will be inappropriate. The most correct decision would be to compromise or start negotiations and satisfy the interests of all parties.
In some situations, it is better to remain silent, avoid a showdown (often the problem resolves itself), or choose an accommodation when the outcome of the conflict is extremely important for a loved one.
Conflict situations at work
During the work process, colleagues often have misunderstandings both on work-related issues and as a result of personal disagreements.
Employee - employee
In conflict situations with colleagues of your rank, any of five strategies will be suitable, depending on the situation. But still, rivalry is best used as a last resort. If disagreements relate to work issues, it would be wiser to negotiate with your opponent to come to a compromise solution. It is important to express your point of view, since you and your opponent are on equal terms. Evasion and adaptation in most matters will not be justified.
To avoid conflicts related to personal relationships, it is important to remember that during working hours you need to primarily focus on fulfilling your duties, leaving personal communication for a while after work. Of course, personal communication is necessary, and it will be present in any case. But gossip and conversations on too personal topics should not be supported.
Boss - employee
In conflict situations with your superiors, it is important to remain calm, respond to criticism politely and with dignity, and not get personal. As a rule, the manager's critical comments regarding work are constructive.
It is not worth competing in problematic cases, as well as constantly adapting or evading. There are often situations at work when it is easier to agree with the boss in order to avoid conflict. But constant such behavior will indicate your consent to any conditions and innovations in the work.
Conflicts are a normal part of everyday interactions with people.
To prevent controversial situations from poisoning your life, it is important to learn to evaluate current events and choose the most appropriate strategy of behavior. You also need to remember that resolving a conflict situation does not always happen through competition or negotiations; sometimes avoiding or agreeing with your opponent is the best way out of the current circumstances.
First of all, you need to remember that We are all different and everyone has their own picture of what is happening in the world. Many disputes are caused by disrespect for another person's worldview.
Emotions
Heated emotions will only cause harm and fuel the flames. But how to control them?
Should learn them realize. Often conflict arises because a person is surprised and protests against the actions of another. His actions seem to him absolutely illogical and contrary to common sense. Surprise or misunderstanding is expressed in a violent emotional reaction.
Responding to emotions will provoke the development of conflict.
Imagine that you are busy. Your colleague constantly, without ceremony, distracts you with questions. It seems self-evident that we should respect and value other people's time. But he has a different picture of the world - it’s better to ask a question than to do it wrong, and besides, it’s faster.
At such moments, conflicts flare up like fluff from a spark. It's very easy to lose your temper and say things like, “I'm busy! Don't stop me from working!
Although the conflict could have been avoided. It was enough to calmly and succinctly explain to a colleague that it was important to concentrate now and ask him to ask questions later or all at once.
When we find ourselves drawn into conflict against our will For example, with loved ones, it is important to be aware of your emotions and not get involved in your partner’s emotional state.
In order to quickly resolve the issue and preserve nerve cells, it is best to remain calm and confident in both cases. This way both opponents will remain within the framework of a constructive dialogue.
In addition, a calm reaction to an excited attack by an opponent can come as a surprise to him and soften him. For communicating with clients, this is one of the most suitable response options.
What to do if, nevertheless, the conflict could not be avoided?
- Clarify your opponent's worldview. It happens that both participants have the same opinion on the same issue. And the dispute arises due to the fact that they look at the issue from different angles, while speaking as if about the same thing.
To clarify, it is useful to ask questions:
Clarify, are you talking about + description of your vision?
Do I understand correctly that + my understanding of the question?
Help me figure out what exactly happened?
Help me understand what is preventing me from solving the problem? - In cases where the subject of the dispute is clear to you from the first words, tell your partner that you understand him. The desire to be understood is one of the reasons for emotionality in conflict. To soften up your opponent, use the following options
- I understand why you react this way...
- If I were you, I would feel exactly the same...
- I agree, the situation is unpleasant...
After that, ask to hear your vision of the subject of the dispute. Offer to compare your opponent’s picture of the world with your understanding and feelings related to the problem.
After you have clarified the vision of the issue, offer to find a way out of the current situation.
– How do you see the solution to this issue?
- What we can do? How can we get out of the situation?
- What can I do? - Show the positives in the situation.
As a result of the dispute, one of the participants will have to give up his opinion. But there are two sides to everything. To finally resolve a controversial issue, turn the interlocutor’s point of view and show the advantages. - Let me speak.
In some situations, you need to let your opponent blow off steam and listen to him. It is very easy to understand that now it is better to remain silent - if you tried to interrupt your interlocutor and he reacted sharply or asked to listen to the end, this is a signal for silence.
Try not to close yourself off from your interlocutor, and really listen, and not wait with an ironic expression on your face for him to finish.
After that, return to the first or second point. - Avoid words and wording that provoke conflict and may offend your interlocutor.
For example, the words “You are deceiving me!” carry an accusation. A normal person usually reacts to any accusations against him with defense.
The same thought will sound constructive in this version: “How can I know that you are telling the truth?” or “It bothers me that this doesn’t match what others are saying.” - It happens that the subject of the conflict has absolutely no value for one of the parties. In this case, don't be afraid to give in. Someone may object that then the interlocutor will think that they can continue to take advantage of your compliance. In my experience, this is not the case.
- "When you're angry, you're even more attractive." Similar compliments can be used with loved ones when appropriate. A compliment will come in handy if the interlocutor is in the mood for dialogue and not for a quarrel. The degree of importance of the problematic issue, existing relationships and other factors also play a role.
- Postpone conversation- This is a way to avoid emotional outbursts. During the break, everyone will think about the situation and it may happen that the reason disappears, or someone admits to themselves that they really made a mistake in something.
This method is also appropriate to use in situations when you are busy with other important tasks and the conversation can wait. Having dealt with matters, approach the person and offer to discuss his question. - Give the other person the opportunity to maintain their dignity. Even if a clear advantage is on your side, no one can cancel sporting respect for your opponent. Of course, there are exceptions, but these are rare cases.
It doesn't matter whether you managed to find a suitable solution or not, try to save the relationship if it's worth it. The conflict will be forgotten over time, but the unpleasant emotions that both received as a result will remain in the memory for a long time.
Have pleasant interlocutors and productive conversations!
In the work of any company, conflicts are inevitable - and you need to be emotionally prepared for this. By avoiding conflicts, we only aggravate the situation - therefore they need to be detected and eliminated in time (or, even better, prevented). Here's how to do it right.
What kind of conflicts are there?
Conflict can be hidden or open. The first occurs when a person takes a position of accommodation. Due to various circumstances, it may not be very beneficial or uncomfortable for an employee to immediately express his position - it is easier to adapt and play along with the opinion of a colleague or manager (and the latter, not seeing resistance, believes that they agree with him).
Another option is the “avoidance” position: the employee does not adapt, but does not express his thoughts. He pretends not to notice what is happening. But it is still difficult for him because his position is not heard. A hidden conflict develops when an employee cannot tell what does not suit him. He accumulates negative emotions that can manifest themselves at any moment.
Open conflict occurs when a person directly expresses his position. In this case, the skills of argumentation and empathy are especially important - if you do not use them, you risk offending your opponent. If both parties have respect for each other's position and (most importantly) feelings, then expressing different opinions is a positive and constructive dialogue.
Breathe deeply and listen
The No. 1 competency of modern managers is to be a nice person. Empathy and respect for the feelings of colleagues help create the right work environment, where employees are free from fear and can safely share their point of view (otherwise, emotional burnout may occur). These are the exact skills a leader needs.
- Ability to manage emotions. There are several techniques that will help you not act impulsively and make decisions consciously. First of all, count to at least 6 and take a deep breath. No matter how trivial it may sound, this method really works. Before giving a meaningful answer to a situation, try to talk to yourself about your attitude towards it (for example: “The question was unexpected for me”). And then, freed from emotions, you can clearly decide what to say.
- Listening skills. Do not interrupt the speaker, let him express his thoughts to the end. It is better to write down comments or questions and ask them later.
- The ability to hear. Giving an employee the right feedback means expressing empathy. Our brain is designed in such a way that when we repeat out loud what another person has said, he begins to understand better. Try to adopt the technique of “active listening”: after your interlocutor’s remarks, repeat his question in your own words or offer your own interpretation of his thoughts. For example: “As far as I understand you / do I understand you correctly, your question is...”, “Do you mean...” When repeating the phrase, the interlocutor gets the feeling that he is not only being listened to, but also being heard. And if you suddenly misinterpret his words, you can get feedback and make sure that you are now “on the same wavelength” with him.
- Ability to provide reasons for feedback. You should avoid expressions like “I think” and “it seems to me” (for example, “I believe that the implementation of this project is impossible in the first ten days of the semester because...”). You need to prove your position and persuade effectively using data from research or statistics. An unreasoned answer is the basis for the development of conflict and negative emotions, which sooner or later will spill out either on a colleague, or on the task at hand, or on the same manager. You demonstrate your ability to listen when you say, for example: “You think that the implementation of this project is impossible in the first ten days of the semester,” you seem to repeat and react to what the person says. Not just: “Okay, I heard you, let’s move on,” but you repeat.
- Ability to ask the right questions. The ability to properly talk to a person (and not get into his brain and soul) is very important both in group meetings and brainstorming sessions, and in individual contact. To ask the right question, try starting with “where,” “where,” “why,” “why,” “from,” etc. This will help show your interest and attention to detail. Often people use rhetorical questions, but they worsen the relationship between employees. For example, a manager may rashly ask: “And what do you mean that you carefully checked all the reports?” In this phrase one can immediately hear a negative attitude and sarcasm. Try to rephrase the question, and you will immediately feel like you have moved on to a constructive dialogue: “There are errors in your report (they need to be pointed out). Therefore, I would like to clarify why you did not check the report before sending it.”
A conflict has occurred - what next?
If a conflict situation arises in a team, you need to carefully prepare for its resolution and only then take action. In reality, the opposite is more often the case: the manager immediately starts debriefing.
To resolve conflict between employees, first identify and describe the problem. Immediately calling the conflicting team members to your office for a conversation (and this is precisely the option for resolving the situation that usually suggests itself) is a fundamentally wrong tactic. You should not be guided by emotions or first impressions - it is better to collect all the necessary facts and evidence (through personal observation or communication). This way you can present your claims to those who quarreled with reason. Talk to each of the parties to the conflict individually, find out in the calmest possible atmosphere what each of them thinks. Then make a decision based on the facts - and convey it to your employees in the same calm manner.
Conflicts between an employee and a manager can arise for various reasons. They are often associated with management errors - for example, when a task is set incorrectly, in the format “go there, I don’t know where, bring that - I don’t know what.” As a result, it is easier for an employee to refuse to complete an assignment than to understand it. Or, on the contrary, he performs the task at the peak of his capabilities, but the result does not suit the manager, colleagues or clients - there is a conflict. The main thing is to draw conclusions for the future in order to develop and grow. Conflict is normal, it is important to use its potential correctly. But if a manager clearly sets tasks, soberly assesses the capabilities of his subordinates and shares his experience and knowledge with them, the likelihood of a conflict situation tends to zero.
Conflict situations often happen in our lives. And it doesn’t matter whether you are a peace-loving person or a bully, conflicts are a part of life. And it is unlikely that, being in human society, anyone will be able to avoid confrontation. And you don’t always need to avoid it, because conflict can bring both destruction and development, depending on how you approach it. How to behave in a conflict situation? Consciously. You should always be clear about why you are entering into conflict or why you are avoiding it.
Depending on what result you would like to achieve at the end of the conflict, your behavior should be different. For example, if you want to get away from a conflict, then your strategy should be completely different from the one that will help you win the conflict.
There are situations when conflict is completely disadvantageous for us. For example, you are communicating with the girl you love, and suddenly a disagreement arises. If you quarrel with her now, then there is a high risk of losing the relationship. Therefore, the best solution in such a situation is get away from the conflict. The first thing you need to do for this is not to react to provocation. Instead of heating up the situation, it is better to cool it down. To do this, it is better to respond to insults with silence or kind words, you should not make claims, do not enter into any discussions, speak in a calm and confident tone. Gradually all negative reactions will disappear. This strategy will allow you to avoid conflict or gain time in order to accumulate strength or knowledge for a new fight with the provocateur.
But it happens that in a conflict it is important to defend yourself and your interests so as not to lose a good reputation, job or money. In this case, when the conflicter provokes you, you should first weigh your strengths; it may turn out that this situation or time is not entirely suitable for you. In this case, it is better to postpone the conflict to the future. The time gained can be spent on recuperating or finding comrades who can stand up for you.
If you need to conflict “here and now”, and it is impossible to postpone the conflict, then in such a situation it is necessary to act as follows:
- It is best to enlist the support of other people, at least as listeners or spectators. Then the preponderance of forces will be on your side.
- You must always notice your opponent’s weaknesses in order to put pressure on them in time.
- The advantage will be on your side if it is you who set the tone of the conversation, if it is you who create provocations to which your opponent will be obliged to respond.
You should always persuade a person to conduct a conflict on your territory, to conduct it with the tools that you are excellent at.
Once, the French microbiologist Louis Pasteur was challenged to a duel by a nobleman who thought that the scientist had insulted him. Since our hero was challenged to a duel, the right to choose a weapon belonged to him. He suggested that his opponent use two flasks as weapons for the duel, one of which contained the smallpox virus, and the other a harmless solution. The opponent had to choose one of the vessels and drink its contents. The duel did not take place.
The nobleman refused the meeting because our hero chose the right weapon. In the same way, you can use resources that are beneficial for your victory: a suitable place for you, arguments, audience, pain points of the enemy. For example, if the conflicting person wants to fight, and you see that he is clearly physically stronger than you, make every effort to persuade him to engage in a verbal argument with arguments and questions. Then the probability of emerging victorious from such a situation is much higher.
We looked at three options for answering the question “How to behave in a conflict situation?” All of these options relate to your external behavior. But there is also your inner state. Remember, in order for a conflict situation to bring you development and not destruction, it is important to be as aware as possible. That is, you must clearly understand for what purpose you are entering into conflict and what result you expect. It is also worth understanding what goals your opponent is pursuing. And most importantly, maintain inner calm and composure so that the conflict situation does not develop into hysteria or a scuffle.
Due to different characters, temperaments and opinions, controversial and conflict situations often occur between people. The conflict can be between people you know, relatives who love each other, or just colleagues. Psychologists note that conflicts are inherent in any person, there is nothing to worry about. It is only important to know how to behave in a conflict situation in order to end it painlessly and without losses.
The basis for conflicts is often minor disagreements and the inability of people to correctly resolve such situations. Due to emotionality, little awareness and wisdom, against the backdrop of small differences of opinion, people can inflate the conflict to large-scale proportions. There are also serious problems in which only a competent person can know how to get out of a conflict situation while maintaining favorable relationships.
Before looking for ways and means of how to behave correctly during a conflict in order to suppress it, it is worth becoming familiar with the concept and the reasons for its occurrence. In a literal translation, the word conflictus is translated as collided, from which we can conclude that conflict is an acute way of resolving confrontations of interests and opinions. Conflict always arises against the background of social interaction, which is inherent in all people.
Many experts note that a conflict is always a verbal influence on the part of several parties who express their position, belief, and opinion. The object of the conflict is the subject of the dispute, the subjects are opponents, groups, organizations. The scale can be interpersonal or global; much of its solution depends on the conditions, tactics and strategies of the parties.
Expert opinion
Victor Brenz
Psychologist and self-development expert
Any conflict is a complex, dynamic process consisting of several phases. This is the formation of objective reasons for this, that is, the objective situation between opponents, the second phase is the development of the incident during interaction, in the end the conflict ends with an absolute or partial solution.
Reasons for disagreement
It will be impossible for any opponent to emerge from the conflict without consequences if its causes and provoking factors are not analyzed. The nature of the conflict is in fact the true goal of the participants in communication, that is, the outcome of the conflict. Psychologists note that the following circumstances may be the precursors of a controversial situation:
- Objective reasons - they are usually associated with existing problems or shortcomings in a person.
- Subjective reasons - these can be people’s assessments of actions, events, and other people.
Conflicts themselves can be destructive, that is, they act in a destructive manner without a chance of resolution and a favorable outcome, as well as constructive, which can provide for rational transformations of existing circumstances. If we consider in more detail, the most common causes of conflicts are judgments and condemnations of other people, assessments of actions and people in general, etc.
How to behave in a conflict situation depending on its type?
Psychologists primarily discuss how to emerge victorious from a conflict. Today, he often uses 5 conflict resolution strategies, namely:
- Avoiding a dispute– if a person does not have the time and energy to find a way out of a controversial situation, you can postpone the process of sorting out the relationship, giving both parties a chance to analyze the situation. This technique is especially relevant in resolving disputes with management at work, if a person does not see a solution, doubts that he is right, if the interlocutor is more persistent in proving his point of view, and agreeing with him would be an appropriate decision.
- Rivalry– openly defending one’s position is appropriate if being right is extremely important to both opponents. In order not to lose in an argument, it is important to behave correctly.
- Cooperation- this is the longest process leading to conflict resolution, if there is a desire to maintain good relations with the opponent, the parties are equal, there is time to resolve the dispute and there is mutual benefit in this.
- Device– it is permissible to give in to an opponent in a conflict if the dispute could otherwise become more serious, the issue is not fundamental for one side, the conflict arose with the leadership.
- Compromise– this situation provides an opportunity to prove one’s point of view, but subject to at least partial acceptance of the other side. This strategy is appropriate when the parties have equal rights, and it is also important for both parties to maintain a favorable relationship.
After this, you can move on to the second stage of conflict resolution. Psychologists advise following several rules:
- be open in front of your opponent, do not clasp your hands on your chest;
- try not to glare at your interlocutor with an angry and intent gaze;
- control intonation, facial expressions and manner of speaking;
- you should beware of harsh and premature assessments of your opponent’s opinion;
- it is important not to interrupt, but to hear each other;
- when the opponent expresses his point of view, it is important to show his attitude, and not his assessment of it;
- you should not show defiant intellectual superiority;
- in order to reduce the degree of dispute, you can briefly divert the vector of the conflict in the other direction.
The allies of a self-confident and wise person should be balance and calmness; psychologists even recommend such a technique as pauses during a conversation in order to suppress emotional outbursts. Arguments and clear formulation of speech will simplify the process of mutual understanding between people.
How to get out of conflict at work?
As a rule, the desire to get out of a conflict without resolving it is a tactic that is appropriate when there is inequality between the parties, for example, when working with management. In this regard, psychologists recommend adhering to simple rules on how best to suppress the conflict without consequences for both parties, namely:
- do not rush to answer - it is better to think carefully before every word spoken;
- you need to think not only about yourself, but also about the feelings of your opponent - this will reduce the degree of aggression;
- control over speech speed, intonation and volume - you need to speak measuredly, calmly, without unnecessary emotions;
- respite - if you take a time out during the height of a conflict, this will help calm both parties down;
- refusal of risk - you should not go all-in with weighty arguments, risking your position at work and relationships with your opponent;
- orientation towards results - during a dispute, it is worth remembering what goals are being pursued by the parties, and not how to offend and offend the opponent more.
Do you know how to avoid conflicts?
YesNo
Psychologists advise paying attention to your emotional state, trying not to succumb to provocative “lures” and words that are aimed at unbalancing a person. You shouldn’t respond to a blow with a blow; it’s better to simply hush up the conflict so as not to aggravate the situation. After some time, the passions will subside, and the solution will appear on the surface on its own.
How to get out of a conflict: a reminder
To summarize, experts offer a top list of the simplest ways to resolve conflict. The memo consists of only a few points, namely:
- recognition of a conflict situation;
- agreement to negotiate face to face or with the help of an intermediary;
- identification of the subject of confrontation and points of contact;
- development of several optimal options for resolving the conflict without damage to both parties;
- written confirmation that the conflict will be resolved voluntarily in one way or another;
- implementation and translation into reality of mutually accepted decisions.
Such conflict resolution scenarios are practiced in life not only against the backdrop of everyday disputes, but also in a legally certified way with the help of a notary. Psychologists consider this method to be most appropriate between business partners, work colleagues, management and subordinates, and in interpersonal relationships.
Conclusion
Each person is so individual that he can have his own and not similar opinion, point of view or views. Due to different mindsets, types of character and temperament, disputes and conflicts may arise. They can be solved competently without negative consequences if you have the skills and abilities. Leading psychologists share how to behave correctly in such situations.
