Situations often arise in life when you need to get your partner to perform certain actions and at the same time create the illusion that he came to the decision to perform certain actions on his own. In these cases, applied psychology, an extremely important and useful science, can come to the rescue. Almost everyone is susceptible to suggestion, it’s just that each person has his own “buttons”, by pressing which specialists and experts on souls are able to achieve their goals.
These strategies also have a downside. People who have the skills of suggestion, even if they do not use them, can themselves successfully avoid attempts to manipulate them. In general, as the ancient Romans said, forewarned is forearmed.
Below are some tricks with which you can achieve a lot. Each reader is free to decide for himself how to use this knowledge; this is a situational and ethical question.
1. Using “baits”
You can call this personal quality frugality or greed, it all depends on the circumstances and motivation, but the desire to save is inherent in almost all sane people. Any buyer is “led” by the words “promotion”, “discount” and “flash sale”, even if the product is sold at the most normal price. In addition, this method is applicable in cases where problems arise with the sale of expensive products. Included with them, you can offer a cheap product at a big discount, and in some cases, completely free (by including its cost in the total price).
2. Creating the necessary surroundings
People most often think stereotypically, preparing to resist attempts to impose something on them. Things go much more successfully when the environment in which consciousness is manipulated does not correspond to the image that the potential “victim” has managed to form in his imagination. For example, difficult negotiations can be conducted in a formal place (a conference room), but in a regular cafeteria they will give a better result.
3. Favors
Psychologists often point to this method of influence, despite its obvious unoriginality and even hackneyedness. In principle, you just need to help in resolving some issue to the person on whom making a favorable decision depends. In response to words of gratitude, you should answer something like “Of course, we are friends! (or partners)". Under no circumstances should we say that this favor is trivial. It will be quite natural to want to do something nice in return for such a pleasant “friend”.
4. Imitate the object
Observation is required here. The posture, intonation, facial expressions and favorite words of the object of manipulation should be carefully studied and mirrored. The more carefully this is done, the more successful the conversation will be. No wonder the British say that “like loves like.” Scientists call this the “chameleon effect.”
5. Control the pace of speech
Rhythm is very important when working with “difficult clients.” If the manipulator himself is not completely convinced of the strength of his own argumentation, he should state his position quickly so as not to give his interlocutor time to look for weak areas. But when the arguments are weighty, then you need to lay them out calmly and carefully, offering to evaluate their impeccability.
6. Entanglement
This method is often used by scammers, psychologists consider it quite vile, but in the lives of quite decent people there are situations when all means are good. The method consists of disguising the real essence behind a veil of minor distracting details.
7. Asking for a favor
Other partners are resistant to flattery, easily expose cunning, are indifferent to benefits, but cannot resist when they are simply asked for something. This means that this is what you need to do, timidly expressing hope for sympathy.
8. Demonstrate your awareness
The best way to convince people of the need to behave in a civilized and law-abiding manner is to let them know that their actions are being monitored. For this, a dummy surveillance camera will do (if it is not possible to install a real one), a simple reminder about the deadline for returning the book (that is, that no one has forgotten about it), and so on. In general, “big brother sees everything.”
9. Using nouns rather than verbs
This rule is effective because the majority of people feel more comfortable as part of a group. A simple example comparing two questions:
Do you want to serve in the army?
Do you want to become an officer?
It is clear that in the second case there will be much more people willing.
10. Intimidation
People tend to constantly evaluate the degree potential danger. If you emphasize in time that making a decision favorable to the manipulator reduces risks, you can consider the issue resolved.
11. Focus on the benefits of the right solution
There are two ways to sell a car. If a person says that he wants ten thousand for it, he is not expressing the desire of the buyer, but his will. But the phrase “I will give this Ford for 10,000” is much more convincing, since it formally takes into account the interests of both parties.
The modern world is the art of communication. Most of Your life depends on how you know how to communicate with others and get your way from them. This applies to your personal life, friends and career. Your opponents will be different, but the ability to win and convince your interlocutor in disputes will definitely come in handy.
How to convince people with words and achieve what you want?
Get closer to the person. Show how much you have in common with your interlocutor. These could be similar interests, opinions, hobbies, hobbies. Give a compliment or gently flatter. It is much easier to convince a person who feels like you in spirit and feels sympathy.
Make a person owe it. Treat someone to coffee today, give them a small gift, or do them a favor. Tomorrow you can ask for a return favor. The person will feel morally indebted to you.
Speak quickly and confidently. Use eloquence to persuade your interlocutor. Don't be shy about the flow of words. Speed of speech indicates confidence in the speaker’s words. Use arguments, facts, exaggerations, metaphors.
Exploit your weak points. Every person has not only armor, but also weaknesses. Press on nobility, pity, sense of duty, fame, fame, conceit, selfishness, generosity, kindness and other instincts. You can convince a person by finding the right key.
Ask for more. Ask a person to borrow $100. He will most likely refuse, but will feel guilty. After that, ask him for 10 dollars. He will fulfill this request. Always ask for more to get less.
Choose the right time. Timing is everything. If a person is not in a good mood, is busy or does not want to talk, then it is better not to even start. Start talking when the person is in the mood, happy or on the rise. This way you will achieve what you want more quickly.
It is not necessary to argue with your interlocutor. Do you want to convince a person, but he says the opposite? Agree, after this the opponent will no longer be so belligerent. Don’t argue directly, but vaguely agree, and then continue to insist and stick to your line.
Be assertive when persuading. Sometimes we listen not to more experienced people, but to more assertive ones. Active and persuasive people inspire trust. Be persistent and don't give up.
Give something in return. When you want to convince a person or ask, you need to give something in return. What does a person want to receive and what value can you offer? Motivate your interlocutor. This way you will be more likely to convince your opponent.
Make him agree. Make the person say the word “yes” several times. After this, people are more positive and ready to agree with many things.
Don't get into a quarrel or conflict. How to achieve what you want? Remain calm even if the atmosphere begins to boil. The one who gives in to emotions loses.
Control your body language. You should watch not only your tongue, but also your body. Often people don’t listen to us so much as they look at the behavior of the interlocutor and draw conclusions. Be open when talking. Do not cross your arms and legs, do not stiffen or slouch. Maintain eye contact and smile.
When you learn to convince people with words, life will become radically better.
We often wonder how to convince a person? How to convince him that you are right? how to convince him that it will be better this way. Often positive result Any business directly depends on the ability to convince a person that you are right.
It is a pity that we acquire the ability to persuade people in the process of life, and not from the cradle. Pretty hard convince a person something he doesn't believe in. Therefore, to be more likely to convince, you need to practice more. Before answering the question “How to convince a person?” you need to correctly argue this or that situation.
As they like to say: “You cannot force a person to do what he does not want.” Actually it is possible. You just need to try really hard for this. 
The skill of persuading a person is useful in all areas of life: at work, at home, in leisure.
Great way to persuade- this means telling the truth, looking into the eyes and not gesticulating. Calling him by name will help convince a person. This will endear the interlocutor to you and your requests. After all, everyone likes it when they call you by name. You can use pet names. This skill makes a person like you much more strongly. The person becomes like an “open book” and it is much easier for you to win him over.
How to convince a person that you are right and quit smoking
The best way to persuade- these are explanations. It is rare that your interlocutor will agree with your solution to a problem only after the question asked. When convincing a person that he is right, that he is wrong, or in quitting drinking, you must explain to him all the positive aspects of the decision made, the negative aspects, and only after that give him the opportunity to choose.
It is more difficult to convince over the phone, because you cannot look at the person (which allows you to better win the person over), the interlocutor cannot understand whether you are lying to him or not. The phone changes its voice a little. Therefore, even if you tell the truth, your interlocutor, on the other side of the phone, may think that he is being lied to and will not listen further. But if they trust you, then convincing a person of anything will not be difficult.
Everyone should have the skill of persuasion. After all, how else can you persuade your boss to raise your salary, or how can you force your husband to quit smoking? This opportunity will help you in all your endeavors.
How to convince a person not to drink anything
No matter how much a person is interested in studying this skill, this science will probably never be fully studied. Each time, in response, new blockers of this art are studied. That is, no matter how much you can convince a person, situations will happen when either you will not succeed, or someone will counterattack, and you will simply accept his point of view of some situation.
In order to be a master of this matter, you need to practice more, study literature on this topic and try to lie to others as little as possible. And before insisting on your point of view, answer yourself: “Is my position correct?”
We also recommend reading the book: Dale Carnegie - How to Win Friends and Influence People. How to develop self-confidence and influence people through public speaking. This book will help you learn how to convince any person.
psycho- olog. ru
Irina Davydova
Reading time: 7 minutes
A A
Not the one who has great knowledge is stronger, but the one who is able to convince - a well-known axiom. Knowing how to choose words, you own the world. The art of persuasion is a whole science, but all its secrets have long been revealed by psychologists in ways that are easy to understand. simple rules, which any successful business person knows by heart. How to convince people - expert advice...
- Control over the situation is impossible without a sober assessment of the situation. Assess the situation itself, people’s reactions, and the possibility of strangers influencing the opinion of your interlocutor. Remember that the result of the dialogue should be beneficial for both parties.
- Mentally put yourself in the place of your interlocutor. Without trying to “get into the skin” of your opponent and without empathizing with him, it is impossible to influence a person. By feeling and understanding your opponent (with his desires, motives and dreams), you will find more opportunities for persuasion.
- The first and natural reaction of almost any person to outside pressure is resistance.. The stronger the “pressure” of the belief, the stronger the person resists. You can eliminate your opponent’s “barrier” by winning him over. For example, joke about yourself, about the imperfection of your product, thereby “lulling” a person’s vigilance - there is no point in looking for shortcomings if they are listed to you. Another technique is a sharp change in tone. From official to simple, friendly, universal.
- Use “constructive” phrases and words in communication – no denial or negativity. Wrong option: “if you buy our shampoo, your hair will stop falling out” or “if you don’t buy our shampoo, you won’t be able to appreciate its fantastic effectiveness.” Correct option: “Restore strength and health to your hair. New shampoo with a fantastic effect!” Instead of the dubious word “if,” use the convincing word “when.” Not “if we do...”, but “when we do...”.
- Do not impose your opinion on your opponent - give him the opportunity to think independently, but “highlight” the right path. Incorrect option: “Without cooperation with us, you will lose a lot of benefits.” Correct option: “Cooperation with us is a mutually beneficial alliance.” Incorrect option: “Buy our shampoo and see how effective it is!” Correct option: “The effectiveness of shampoo has been proven by thousands of positive reviews, multiple studies, the Ministry of Health, the Russian Academy of Medical Sciences, etc.”
- Look for arguments to convince your opponent in advance, having thought through all possible branches of the dialogue. Put forward your arguments in a calm and confident tone without any emotional overtones, slowly and thoroughly.
- When convincing your opponent of something, you must be confident in your point of view. Any doubts you have about the “truth” you put forward are instantly “grabbed” by the person, and trust in you is lost.
- Learn sign language. This will help you avoid mistakes and better understand your opponent.
- Never give in to provocations. To convince your opponent, you must be a “robot” who cannot be enraged. “Balance, honesty and reliability” are the three pillars of trust even in a stranger.
- Always use facts - the best weapon of persuasion. Not “my grandmother told me” and “I read it on the Internet”, but “there are official statistics...”, “on personal experience I know that…” etc. The most effective facts are witnesses, dates and numbers, videos and photographs, opinions of famous people.
- Learn the art of persuasion from your children. The child knows that by offering his parents a choice, he, at a minimum, will not lose anything and will even gain: not “Mom, buy me!”, but “Mom, buy me a radio-controlled robot or at least a construction set.” By offering a choice (and having prepared the conditions for the choice in advance so that the person makes it correctly), you allow your opponent to think that he is the master of the situation. Proven fact: a person rarely says “no” if he is offered a choice (even if it is the illusion of choice).
- Convince your opponent of his exclusivity. Not with vulgar open flattery, but with the appearance of a “recognized fact.” For example, “We know your company as a responsible company with a positive reputation and one of the leaders in this field of production.” Or “We have heard a lot about you as a man of duty and honor.” Or “We would like to work only with you, you are known as a person whose words never diverge from action.”
- Focus on “secondary benefits.” For example, “Cooperation with us means not only low prices for you, but also great prospects.” Or “Our new kettle is not just a super technological innovation, but your delicious tea and a pleasant evening with your family.” Or “Our wedding will be so magnificent that even kings will envy.” We focus, first of all, on the needs and characteristics of the audience or opponent. Based on them, we put emphasis.
- Avoid disrespect and arrogance towards your interlocutor. He should feel on the same level as you, even if in ordinary life you drive around such people for a kilometer in your expensive car.
- Always start a conversation with points that can unite you and your opponent, not divide you. The interlocutor, immediately tuned to the right “wave,” ceases to be an opponent and turns into an ally. And even if disagreements arise, it will be difficult for him to answer you “no”.
- Follow the principle of demonstrating shared benefit. Every mother knows that the ideal way to talk her child into going to the store with her is to tell her that they sell candy at the checkout. with toys, or “suddenly remember” that big discounts were promised on his favorite cars this month. The same method, only more complex, underlies business negotiations and contracts between ordinary people. Mutual benefit is the key to success.
- Make the person feel good about you. Not only in personal relationships, but also in a business environment, people are guided by likes/dislikes. If the interlocutor is unpleasant to you, or even completely disgusting (outwardly, in communication, etc.), then you will not have any business with him. Therefore, one of the principles of persuasion is personal charm. Some people are given it from birth, while others have to learn this art. Learn to emphasize your strengths and disguise your weaknesses.
IN idea about the art of persuasion 1:
Video about the art of persuasion 2:
Everyone at least once in their life communicated with a very stubborn and difficult interlocutor.
Everyone knows that the easiest way to resolve a dispute is to avoid it. However, sometimes the situation requires that you defend your point of view and convince the most stubborn interlocutor that you are right. The following 10 tips will help you do this.
1. Be careful and polite
First of all, do not play with the thin threads of a person’s pride: do not offend him, humiliate him or get personal, otherwise you will not prove anything to him and he will go into a defensive position of denying everything in the world (antagonism). And it is almost impossible to convince a person in such a state.
2. Strong arguments first
Speak the strongest and most compelling arguments for your position first. There is no need to start with the little things, release heavy artillery right away, and only then reinforce it with small infantry.
3. Earn trust
Try to increase your status and image: give reasons that you know this in practice, that you have been doing this for many years and have received concrete results or earned a lot of money from it.
4. Be smart
A powerful weapon is to say the following: “Yes, yes, this is exactly what you are right about, this is a good idea, but this is where you are completely wrong...” When a person feels that his thoughts have been noticed, he can listen to yours.
5. Rude flattery
Praise the person! Compliments, and especially unexpected compliments, will surprise and delight everyone, and this is exactly what you need - to relax your opponent, reduce his control over the situation.
6. Sequence of consent
Rule of consistency: first tell the person what he agrees with (even if these are absolutely obvious things), and then your point of view. The likelihood of agreement in this case increases many times.
7. Steer the conversation away from dangerous topics
Avoid “sharp edges” and topics that can increase conflict, as well as topics that are a weak point for you.
If something like this comes up, urgently turn the conversation away from it, say: “We’re not talking about that now, but about...”, “this has nothing to do with the matter, it only has to do with the matter...”.
8. Notice every little detail
Watch a person's nonverbal behavior, it can reveal a lot. Nonverbal behavior is posture, gestures and facial expressions. If you notice that after some argument a person’s eye twitches, immediately continue to expand on this argument further and in great detail - this is your strongest argument and the person understands this and gets nervous.
9. People love benefits and benefits.
Convince the person that what you are telling him is very useful and even beneficial for him, and his position, on the contrary, will not bring him anything other than “just his position.”
10. Show unexpected consideration and respect
Listen carefully to your interlocutor, even if he annoys you: anyone will notice that you are attentive to him, and this will especially be noticed by someone who knows that despite the fact that you disagree with him, you are attentive to him. This way, you can stand out from other people with whom he has ever argued.
Good luck to you, because now we know for sure that using these tips, you will win any dispute!
