What to do if you fall deeply in love with a guy. “I think I’m in love!” How to experience love only from the pleasant side? You wrote him a detailed confession

No matter how hard we try to immerse ourselves in work or study, a romantic feeling still overtakes us sooner or later.

You may not always be prepared for it and know how to behave. Let's turn to advice from psychologists. What to do if you fall in love with a guy?

Signs of falling in love

How do I know that I'm really in love?

This feeling is quite difficult to recognize, but there is one that will help you with this:

  • cheerfulness. Yes, yes, don't be surprised. And the reason for this is hormones that are released in our body precisely during;
  • increased emotionality. You may become too sentimental, even if you have not suffered from this before. Or experience emotional swings, sudden changes in mood;
  • constant search for hidden meaning. Are you looking for a hint in his every word? Do you see secret signs even in everyday things? Are you re-reading messages from him in search of a second meaning?

    All these are the first signs of falling in love, most often not yet consciously realized.

  • loss of attention. You have become so absent-minded, you constantly get confused, forget something... This also speaks of your love for someone.

What should you do first?

So what to do with the surging feeling? How to behave? Psychologists advise the following:

Thanks to these tips, you will either understand that the object of your affection does not deserve your attention, or you will finally achieve it.

What to do if you fall in love for the first time? Adviсe:

To a boy classmate

You spend a lot of time together, see each other every day.

And at some point you may begin to realize that you have some kind of feeling for him. What to do?

  1. Understand your feelings. Do you really like this boy? Or is it just because you see each other all the time? If during the entire holiday you don’t even remember about him, then most likely this is not real love.
  2. Be friendly. Become more active and sociable in class, attract everyone's attention. Boys like cheerful and positive girls.
  3. Try to get close to him. Try to communicate more, find common hobbies. It will be great if you see him not only at school: go to the movies or at least hang out in the same company.
  4. Don't be upset if it turns out that your feeling is not mutual. It's a good experience anyway. There will be other guys who will definitely pay attention to you.

In high school student

High school students seem so smart, mature and much more interesting than their peers. But often they may not notice those who are younger. What to do, if ?

To a work colleague

Office romance is a fairly common occurrence. After all, we spend a lot of time at work and often some people begin to sympathize with us. Sometimes it really turns into falling in love. What to do in such a situation?

To the boss

Fell in love with the boss. What to do? Psychologist's opinion:

By correspondence

We started communicating just out of interest, but it all grew into something more? Haven't you noticed how? Here are some tips on how to act in such a situation:


The second cousin

If we initially have a strict taboo regarding our siblings, then, as a rule, it does not apply to cousins ​​and second cousins. But you can’t tell your heart! How to be?

  1. Analyze the situation. Why did it happen? What do you think this could lead to? Think about the future. How will the brother himself react to this? Are you ready for outside disapproval?
  2. Take your time to communicate your feelings. You must understand that you are unlikely to be together. Such relationships are not approved by society. Yes, and there is logic in this, especially if you are planning to have children.

    Therefore, it would be best to resolve this issue on your own, without letting anyone in on your feelings for your second cousin.

  3. Don't focus on your feeling. Learn to be distracted: find yourself a passion, a hobby. Try to see him less often.
  4. Don't be shy to ask for help. If you feel that the situation has gone too far and you can no longer cope, then consult a psychologist. He will help you understand the reasons for your love and how to get rid of this feeling.

The anime guy

Falling in love usually comes suddenly and often it may not be the one we imagined in our thoughts.

For example, what should you do if you fall in love with an anime guy?

  1. First you need to grow up. And to a greater extent, this refers to psychological age. A mature personality cannot fall in love with such a character.
  2. Pay attention to the features that attracted you. This will help you find out what kind of people you like. Try to find them in the people who surround you.
  3. Limit your hobbies. If you like watching such cartoons, then there is nothing wrong with that. But if it comes to such love, then this is undoubtedly not a very good sign. Try to find other ways to enjoy your free time.

To a celebrity

Celebrities seem so distant to us and, at the same time, so attractive. And sometimes it happens that simple interest develops into a feeling of falling in love. In this case, there are three possible scenarios for the situation:


Love for an idol. Psychology of a fan:

The actor

First, you simply watched the film and identified one actor in it. Then you decide to review all the pictures with him. You no longer notice that you are constantly monitoring information about him and are jealous when you see a photo in a magazine with some girl. What to do with this love?

  1. Understand that this is just an image. You fell in love with him, not with this person. In life, he may well not live up to your expectations.
  2. Imagine the development of events. It is unlikely that you will meet him, and he will suddenly realize that you are exactly the woman he has been looking for all this time.

    So be realistic. Most likely you will suffer for it and miss your real life!

    What conclusion does this suggest? We need to get rid of this feeling.

  3. Try to find another hobby. Start going to the gym or a hobby club. You can start embroidering or drawing. Do everything to get rid of obsessive thoughts.

How not to become a slave to love?

It would seem that falling in love is a bright feeling.

But it doesn't always turn out to be so pleasant.

This often brings a lot of problems. How not to become addicted to your crush?

  • understand that first of all you must be a developed and self-sufficient person. Don't make your crush the only interest in your life;
  • don't limit yourself. If another man pays attention to you, you can accept his attention. This will benefit both you and the object of your love, because he will understand that you are not fixated only on him. But don't overdo it;
  • treat everything with humor. There is no need to throw a tantrum and fall into depression at the slightest failure. Life doesn't end there;
  • Hint to him about your feelings, and then transfer the initiative into his hands. There is no need to constantly come up with a strategy for your future behavior.

Falling in love can bring you both happiness and Problems. Therefore, be sure to think through the situation to the end before rushing headlong into the pool.

What to do if you fall in love with a celebrity? Find out in this video:

“Love will come unexpectedly...” is sung in an old song. Indeed, she comes when “you’re not expecting her at all.” No one can fall in love (or fall out of love) of their own accord or according to plan: it always happens suddenly, like a lightning strike. Sometimes the feeling is so overwhelming that the whole usual life fades into the background, and the person already thinks like this: “What should I do? I fell madly in love!" It seems that love is something that one should rejoice at, because it is considered a gift from God. This is not always the case, because sometimes it begins to bring not joy and happiness, but only torment and suffering. So what to do, if you fell in love “to death”?

Strike by lightning

This is exactly how those who have experienced the moment of falling in love often describe it. Strangely enough, this suddenness is more typical of men. They are capable of falling in love with a girl in one minute. It should be noted that their feelings pass faster than those of women.

It has been noticed that even a small detail can attract a guy to a girl: high-heeled shoes, a special haircut, the color of lipstick or dress, look, gait. Men are very attentive to such details and they tend to fall for them. This is such a phenomenon, and it is inherent specifically in the male part of the population. In other words, a guy, seeing a girl in a miniskirt on the street, may fall in love with her legs or gait. At the same time, the power of the feeling that comes can be so great that he thinks: “That’s it, I’ve fallen in love “to death”.”

The pangs of love

What should a macho, pierced by such a powerful feeling, do? Of course, get to know each other, and if the girl doesn’t mind, then develop and build a relationship.

If a guy falls in love with a girl, then he doesn’t care about all the barriers and obstacles. Men are creatures no less sensitive and vulnerable than women. That’s why they perceive it so painfully when a girl ignores advances or completely refuses. It’s good when, but this doesn’t happen very often. Therefore, the torments of love have to be fully felt by those who do not receive reciprocity.

Dangerous age

As a rule, people experience such strong feelings at a very young age. The love they feel lives as if on its own, because they, due to the immaturity of their psyche, cannot yet fully control emotions with their minds. That’s why youthful love can sometimes be so tragic and painful. It is not for nothing that it is at this age that children most often commit suicide due to

How to act to achieve reciprocity?

Let's imagine that a young man fell in love with a girl. What should he do to get the opportunity to be with her? Much depends on the girl herself. That is, whether she is single, whether she has a desire to build a relationship, how old she is, who she lives with, whether she even knows this guy and whether she is aware of his feelings. In fact, a lot depends on such moments in the future development of the novel.

After all, if it turns out that she is already dating someone or she simply doesn’t like the new admirer, then what should someone who has fallen madly in love with her do? One can only hope that she will either break up with her boyfriend or turn her attention to another contender. For this to happen, the latter will have to try.

You will need to woo your chosen one in every possible way, arrange surprises for her, and invite her to the places where she likes to go. You need to find out how she lives, what she likes to do, what food she prefers, what films and music she watches and listens to. Girls love it when guys are interested not only in their appearance, but also in what is hidden behind them. This is how you have to act if you fall in love like a child.

Waiting for an answer

In the meantime, there is no reciprocity, the lover will have to experience all the “charms” of unrequited love. To make the wait less painful, you just need to shift your focus to another object. For example, you can find something you like, or resume a hobby if it was abandoned. Playing sports, any kind, helps a lot. They will not only be beneficial in terms of physical improvement of the body, but will also give confidence and vigor. And these results will never hurt anyone.

Love should give birth only to the best feelings and aspirations. It’s not for nothing that they say that it makes a person better, kinder, softer, more gentle, more soulful. To get the girl you fell in love with at first sight, you sometimes need to take unconventional steps. Women love such men very much: they immediately understand that everything is done for their sake, and who can resist beautiful deeds? Previously, knights fought to the death in duels, climbed through palace windows along smooth steep walls, and went on military campaigns for the sake of beautiful ladies.

So, if you fall in love with a woman, so much so that you lose sleep and peace, the only peace of mind will be the opportunity to be near her. Whether this will work out or not depends solely on the loving “Pierrot” himself. Or rather, from his persistence (within the limits of decency, of course), imagination, courage and depth of feeling. Women love persistent men and usually surrender to the mercy of the winner.

She, he and she

It’s good when strong love overtakes a lonely young man. This is natural, normal and fully fits into the concept of procreation. You can congratulate such a guy and say that he is lucky. Not everyone gets to experience this in their lifetime.

But there are other situations that are not so joyful, at least for one side. We are talking about when a single man fell in love with another woman. On the one hand, this is joy for him, but on the other, it is great torment.

After all, he understands that in this way he betrays both his “official” woman and the lady of his heart. Men, being in this position, are aware that they are causing pain to all participants in this

Of course, the one who was betrayed is the worst. She is no longer loved or desired, her place in a man’s heart is taken by a rival. And while the once dear woman suffers from uncertainty and betrayal, her loved one thinks: “What should I do? I fell in love, but I’m married!”

Signs of falling in love

The dilemma is not an easy one. It affects the lives of several people. Unfortunately for some and fortunately for others, almost all married men fall in love with women on the side at least once during their entire marriage. Some explain this by the loss of feelings for their faithful spouse, others by the fact that they were simply “overwhelmed” by the sight of a beautiful, sexy girl. It’s interesting, but even 40-year-old men, wise with experience and life, are unable to resist this storm of emotions.

Scientists have long proven that falling in love, especially bright, lightning-fast, is nothing more than the result of our biochemical processes that occur in the brain. For this reason, a person is simply not able to control what happens to him. He loses sleep, appetite, he is no longer interested in those things that have been a part of his life for a long time. So, work moves aside, a man abandons his hobby, and does not pay attention to his wife. And only one thought pulsates in my head: “What should I do? I fell in love... What if this is serious?”

Leave or stay

In such a situation, giving advice is a thankless task. Firstly, no one ever listens to them, and secondly, if someone follows them, then they also blame the adviser for all the troubles that have happened to him.

If we proceed purely from considerations of decency and elementary cleanliness, then an unfree man who has fallen in love with another lady either needs to leave her (if these are serious feelings, of course), or love her exclusively platonically. This may be the answer to the question: “What should I do? I fell in love, but I’m married!”

Love without joy

Even if a man fell in love with a girl platonically, he continues to live with his wife. Is this fair to him? Somehow not very good. It turns out that a man must step on the throat of his own song out of fear of destroying his family or because of moral principles. Share a bed, life with one, but have thoughts with the other? No one can stand this for long.

What to do if betrayal is unacceptable, and living in the old way becomes unbearable? There are few options, and you need to choose the most painless one for all interested parties. You have to understand that, at the behest of your mind, you won’t be able to stop loving just like that right away. Therefore, you just need to wait out, so to speak, the active phase of this period. It will last several months, maybe a year. Everything will end faster if you don’t see the one who almost ruined your whole life.

That is, we must do everything to avoid meeting this woman and not to visit her “habitat.” If communication needs to be reduced to zero, and even then, only on professional topics. Minimizing contact really helps a lot. But there is also such a thing as thoughts. They sometimes appear in the head without asking, and it’s difficult to get rid of them. When you next want to think about this girl, you need to train yourself to immediately switch your thought process to another topic. By doing this from time to time, you can completely get rid of unwanted memories, images and other things that prevent you from completely coping with your love obsession.

This too will pass

At first it will seem that there is no strength to live without her, that you need to go to her, that she is the one and only, for whose sake it is worth taking the risk, leaving behind everything old. However, these thoughts will soon stop appearing, just as that nagging, oppressive feeling that has not allowed me to live peacefully in recent months will gradually pass.

Soon, very soon, biochemical processes will stop fermenting in the brain, and all experiences, torment and suffering will fade away. This love can live forever, but falling in love lasts only from a year to 3 years. You just need to be patient, but don’t waste your time. Why waste it on meaningless experiences? It will be more productive to plunge headlong into some new business, focus on your career, or go on a trip. By the way, long journeys are the best medicine for heartache.

Help from outside

There are also very difficult cases when a person is unable to cope with his obsession on his own. Some people go to friends for help, and some go to a psychologist. These specialists often hear the question in their offices: “Tell me, what should I do? I fell in love, but I can’t be with this girl yet.”

Patients with this problem are not uncommon. And they all want one thing - to hear from a specialist some simple and effective advice that would help them cope with this difficult situation. Of course, it is simply absurd to hope that this will happen. A psychologist will undoubtedly help get rid of addiction (and strong love is addiction to another person), but this will take time, because it requires an integrated approach. However, you need to understand that ultimately no one except the person himself will be able to help him.

Love without memory. What to do with it?

We often hear in life and from screen characters: “That’s it, guys, I saw her and fell in love with her forever.” What do young people do in such cases? Those who are bolder and bolder immediately come up and introduce themselves. Some do not dare to do this and pass or drive on. If they think about this girl for several days, they start looking for her all over the city. The most desperate can post notices on poles with her signs: with a description of her appearance and the place where the meeting took place. He asks for help finding her because he has fallen madly in love. And someone retains this romantic memory and lives on.

If an acquaintance has taken place, then it is not a fact that it will necessarily move into some other, important stage. Moreover, with close communication, a girl may not make the same impression as she did at the first meeting. And this is far from uncommon. Having fallen in love with some image, you can be very disappointed in what the girl really is. Therefore, of course, you need to communicate to understand whether this is your person or not. After all, sometimes a beautiful face, eyes or legs do not at all guarantee that everything else will be just as beautiful (human qualities are meant).

Long live love!

You need to fall in love, they say it is good for health, prolongs life and makes it more fulfilling, colorful and meaningful. The main thing is not to lose yourself in love, because in this format it turns a person’s fate into a nightmare. And this is no longer love, but dependence, which cannot bring joy and creation.

Falling in love at first sight does not guarantee love. In order not to miss your chance, you need to get to know the girl better. Or you can just move on: let this vivid meeting remain in your memory forever.

Love is something that has worried humanity for many centuries. In our life it has almost the most important meaning. Over the centuries, people have fallen in love, suffered, become happy or unhappy, entered into marriages and separated... Love captures people so much that they lose their heads and are ready to give up everything for the sake of it. Out of seemingly great love they begin to do stupid things, ruin their careers, abandon their families, squander money, and commit suicide.

Everyone is especially concerned about love in youth. Every girl, having once met her prince, loses peace and sleep, dreaming, hoping and yearning. And when the “prince” does not pay attention to her, in despair he asks someone: “What should I do if I fell in love with a guy?” They scold her, dissuade her, give her some advice. And the girl continues to suffer, thinking that this is love for life. How can it really be? Well, it’s good if everything goes away in a couple of months. And if everything is really very serious, then what to do? First, let's try to understand what this feeling actually is and what falling in love and true love are.

How to distinguish infatuation from love

Almost every person sooner or later falls in love, experiencing tender romantic feelings for the object of their love. We think about him day and night, dream about how we will meet, how we will touch... All people want to be loved and to love. This need is inherent in us by nature itself. And we seem to love, and even mutually, and everything is so good. But then the delight from communicating with a partner suddenly evaporates somewhere. For some reason it becomes boring to be with him, and what previously seemed attractive about this person is now repulsive and annoying. What's the matter? Yes, it's quite simple. The fact is that we have confused infatuation with love. And it’s good if you haven’t gotten married yet. Then the separation will not be so painful. And if you did, and even had children, and then life together turned into hell, this is already a disaster. Therefore, it is advisable to learn to distinguish simple infatuation from true love.

In fact, the difference between them is not so easy to notice. Both passion and love are accompanied by the desire to see your chosen one as often as possible. In both cases, thoughts are constantly occupied with him and with fantasies about the development of relationships. Both simply lovers and true lovers dream of reciprocity. Both of them experience uplift and excitement in the presence of the object of their interest. Both of them don’t know what to do when he’s not around. So how do you recognize love and distinguish it from superficial falling in love or simple sexual attraction? In order to understand whether love has really overtaken you, or whether you are experiencing some other, passing feelings, you need to calm down your emotions a little and soberly assess the situation. This will require answering several questions honestly and intelligently.

  1. What attracts you most in a guy?

    If this is mainly his appearance (beautiful face and figure, manner of behavior, and so on), then you are still simply in love. Beauty is not eternal. People get sick, grow old and generally change. You cannot connect your life with someone just because he has attractive physical characteristics. Sooner or later, even the most perfect appearance becomes familiar. And, consequently, interest in it is lost.

    And this can significantly shake the foundation of the relationship. If you strive to get to know your loved one as a person as a whole and find in him, despite his shortcomings, more and more attractive qualities, then it’s time to talk about the authenticity of love. No, and in this case, of course, there will be an assessment of his physical qualities. But it will already become an additional incentive for the development of feelings.

  2. What different qualities do you particularly attract in a guy and how many are there?

    When you are passionate, there are usually few such qualities. Let’s say you are fascinated by his smile, voice, sexuality, gestures, manner of speaking... And that’s all. In general, this is enough in the early stages of a relationship. However, if over time you do not try to reveal many more wonderful sides in your loved one, the feeling will come to an end.

    True love implies the desire to get to know a person and discover new, very attractive traits in him. Each of us is individual and has both advantages and disadvantages. When you approach your boyfriend with such a standard and accept everything in him entirely, without trying to do something to radically change his character, the feelings can be considered deep.

  3. How did love begin?

    We are told a lot about love at first sight, about how as soon as a girl saw a guy and immediately realized that he was her prince. In fact, true love cannot flare up instantly. A flash of feelings in the very first seconds of a meeting usually means that the guy simply made a strong impression on the girl. Sometimes it is based on sexual attraction, sometimes it is explained by an opportune moment, sometimes by intuitive attraction. But this is always not love yet, but a passion that can pass after a very short time. If the feelings have been going on for quite a long time, and your desire to be close to the guy only intensifies, despite the fact that you already know his shortcomings quite well, this is love. Perhaps she has not yet blossomed to her full potential. But it has already sprouted and promises to become a luxurious perennial tree.

  4. How do feelings affect you?

    When people are still simply in love, they are not able to control their actions, in which discord begins. During this period, the girl is overwhelmed only by emotions. In this state, she thinks about nothing except the object of her love, and can make a lot of mistakes. With true love, a person is more organized and strives to become a better person. Because it does not destroy, but inspires.

  5. How do you cope with a long period of time when you don't see your boyfriend?

    If, some time after breaking up, the desire to see your partner gradually fades away and interest in someone else appears - it was an infatuation. With true love, the absence of the chosen one next to each day intensifies the desire to meet him as quickly as possible. No one except this person is of particular interest; no one can take his place. In general, the test of separation is one of the surest indicators of the authenticity of love. Yes, we are afraid of her, fearing that the chosen one will have another object of passion. Yes, it hurts and can happen. But it’s better to let this happen before a serious relationship begins, and not after.

It must be said that the answer to all these questions cannot give a full assessment of the feelings you have for the guy. Often, the development of deep relationships begins with passion, which then turns into true love. In our case, we are talking mainly about the fact that you should not worry so much, if not the confidence that he is the one without whom further life is unthinkable. Maybe you should just look around, because there are so many interesting guys nearby! Surely some of them like you. All you have to do is smile at such a handsome guy, and all the suffering will go away. Do not want? Well, then we’ll think about what to do next.

What to do if you fall in love with a guy

If you seriously fall in love with a guy, and he doesn’t reciprocate yet, you don’t need to despair and cry, exclaiming tragically: “Oh, he doesn’t love me!” In such a state, you don’t need to shed tears, but do something. It is likely that the young man is simply not in the mood for any feelings, because you are younger or do not know him well. Or maybe that’s why he behaves this way because he considers you a girl from another circle. Or he is not ready to fall in love yet. All this, in principle, can be corrected if you find a suitable behavior and decide what and how to do.

Before you look for it, you need to get yourself in order. Almost no one likes girls with a suffering face and sad eyes. Therefore, you need to tell yourself: “It’s hard for me now, but there is joy ahead!” and confidently set off towards this joy. Let your eyes light up, your back straighten, your gait become light. Learn to smile, joke and communicate with everyone in a friendly and optimistic manner.

Guys like nothing more in girls than friendly, cheerful sociability and wit. Young ladies with such positive energy attract a lot of fans. And our young man, too, will probably not remain indifferent to such a sparkling young lady. But for this you need to be present in his social circle as often as possible. This means you should learn as much as possible about his hobbies and try to share them.

Does the young man like sports? We go to classes at the same gym. He has a dog? Let's get ourselves a dog. Does the young man always hang out in the pool or fitness club? We sign up for the same pool and club. In a word, we try to do everything to meet with him often. And on occasion, we start a conversation about the guy’s favorite activity, trying to make him understand that we also understand something about this. After all, it is enough for a man and a woman to start talking, and some kind of relationship will begin between them. In the future, all that remains is to constantly stir up the interest of your loved one.

To do this, you need to improve all the time, change something in yourself, learn something, not forgetting to take care of your own appearance. Ungroomed, carelessly dressed girls can become friends, acquaintances, but not loved ones. Therefore, you should always look neat and attractive and try to be as charming as possible. Then the guy will see you as a woman, and not an asexual being. If this happens, he will begin to feel sympathy. This will be the first step towards the emergence of true feelings.

Then all you have to do is pretend that you haven’t yet chosen who to fall in love with. The young man will certainly be eager to be chosen. The goal has been achieved. Now let him think about what to do to make you fall in love.

How to distinguish falling in love from love What to do if you fall in love with a guy

Love is something that has worried humanity for many centuries. In our life it has almost the most important meaning. Over the centuries, people have fallen in love, suffered, become happy or unhappy, entered into marriages and separated... Love captures people so much that they lose their heads and are ready to give up everything for the sake of it. Out of seemingly great love they begin to do stupid things, ruin their careers, abandon their families, squander money, and commit suicide.

Everyone is especially concerned about love in youth. Every girl, having once met her prince, loses peace and sleep, dreaming, hoping and yearning. And when the “prince” does not pay attention to her, in desperation he asks someone: “What should I do if I fell in love with a guy?” They scold her, dissuade her, give her some advice. And the girl continues to suffer, thinking that this is love for life. How can it really be? Well, it’s good if everything goes away in a couple of months. And if everything is really very serious, then what to do? First, let's try to understand what this feeling actually is and what falling in love and true love are.

How to distinguish infatuation from love

Almost every person sooner or later falls in love, experiencing tender romantic feelings for the object of their love. We think about him day and night, dream about how we will meet, how we will touch... All people want to be loved and to love. This need is inherent in us by nature itself. And we seem to love, and even mutually, and everything is so good. But then the delight from communicating with a partner suddenly evaporates somewhere. For some reason it becomes boring to be with him, and what previously seemed attractive about this person is now repulsive and annoying. What's the matter? Yes, it's quite simple. The fact is that we have confused infatuation with love. And it’s good if you haven’t gotten married yet. Then the separation will not be so painful. And if you did, and even had children, and then life together turned into hell, this is already a disaster. Therefore, it is advisable to learn to distinguish simple infatuation from true love.

In fact, the difference between them is not so easy to notice. Both passion and love are accompanied by the desire to see your chosen one as often as possible. In both cases, thoughts are constantly occupied with him and with fantasies about the development of relationships. Both simply lovers and true lovers dream of reciprocity. Both of them experience uplift and excitement in the presence of the object of their interest. Both of them don’t know what to do when he’s not around. So how do you recognize love and distinguish it from superficial falling in love or simple sexual attraction? In order to understand whether love has really overtaken you, or whether you are experiencing some other, passing feelings, you need to calm down your emotions a little and soberly assess the situation. This will require answering several questions honestly and intelligently.

What attracts you most in a guy?

If this is mainly his appearance (beautiful face and figure, manner of behavior, and so on), then you are still simply in love. Beauty is not eternal. People get sick, grow old and generally change. You cannot connect your life with someone just because he has attractive physical characteristics. Sooner or later, even the most perfect appearance becomes familiar. And, consequently, interest in it is lost.

And this can significantly shake the foundation of the relationship. If you strive to get to know your loved one as a person as a whole and find in him, despite his shortcomings, more and more attractive qualities, then it’s time to talk about the authenticity of love. No, and in this case, of course, there will be an assessment of his physical qualities. But it will already become an additional incentive for the development of feelings.

What different qualities do you particularly attract in a guy and how many are there?

When you are passionate, there are usually few such qualities. Let’s say you are fascinated by his smile, voice, sexuality, gestures, manner of speaking... And that’s all. In general, this is enough in the early stages of a relationship. However, if over time you do not try to reveal many more wonderful sides in your loved one, the feeling will come to an end.

True love implies the desire to get to know a person and discover new, very attractive traits in him. Each of us is individual and has both advantages and disadvantages. When you approach your boyfriend with such a standard and accept everything in him entirely, without trying to do something to radically change his character, the feelings can be considered deep.

How did love begin?

We are told a lot about love at first sight, about how as soon as a girl saw a guy and immediately realized that he was her prince. In fact, true love cannot flare up instantly. A flash of feelings in the very first seconds of a meeting usually means that the guy simply made a strong impression on the girl. Sometimes it is based on sexual attraction, sometimes it is explained by an opportune moment, sometimes by intuitive attraction. But this is always not love yet, but a passion that can pass after a very short time. If the feelings have been going on for quite a long time, and your desire to be close to the guy only intensifies, despite the fact that you already know his shortcomings quite well, this is love. Perhaps she has not yet blossomed to her full potential. But it has already sprouted and promises to become a luxurious perennial tree.

How do feelings affect you?

When people are still simply in love, they are not able to control their actions, in which discord begins. During this period, the girl is overwhelmed only by emotions. In this state, she thinks about nothing except the object of her love, and can make a lot of mistakes. With true love, a person is more organized and strives to become a better person. Because it does not destroy, but inspires.

How do you cope with a long period of time when you don't see your boyfriend?

If, some time after breaking up, the desire to see your partner gradually fades away and interest in someone else appears - it was an infatuation. With true love, the absence of the chosen one next to each day intensifies the desire to meet him as quickly as possible. No one except this person is of particular interest; no one can take his place. In general, the test of separation is one of the surest indicators of the authenticity of love. Yes, we are afraid of her, fearing that the chosen one will have another object of passion. Yes, it hurts and can happen. But it’s better to let this happen before a serious relationship begins, and not after.

It must be said that the answer to all these questions cannot give a full assessment of the feelings you have for the guy. Often, the development of deep relationships begins with passion, which then turns into true love. In our case, we are talking mainly about the fact that you should not worry so much, if not the confidence that he is the one without whom further life is unthinkable. Maybe you should just look around, because there are so many interesting guys nearby! Surely some of them like you. All you have to do is smile at such a handsome guy, and all the suffering will go away. Do not want? Well, then we’ll think about what to do next.

What to do if you fall in love with a guy

If you seriously fall in love with a guy, and he doesn’t reciprocate yet, you don’t need to despair and cry, exclaiming tragically: “Oh, he doesn’t love me!” In such a state, you don’t need to shed tears, but do something. It is likely that the young man is simply not in the mood for any feelings, because you are younger or do not know him well. Or maybe that’s why he behaves this way because he considers you a girl from another circle. Or he is not ready to fall in love yet. All this, in principle, can be corrected if you find a suitable behavior and decide what and how to do.

Before you look for it, you need to get yourself in order. Almost no one likes girls with a suffering face and sad eyes. Therefore, you need to tell yourself: “It’s hard for me now, but there is joy ahead!” and confidently set off towards this joy. Let your eyes light up, your back straighten, your gait become light. Learn to smile, joke and communicate with everyone in a friendly and optimistic manner.

Guys like nothing more in girls than friendly, cheerful sociability and wit. Young ladies with such positive energy attract a lot of fans. And our young man, too, will probably not remain indifferent to such a sparkling young lady. But for this you need to be present in his social circle as often as possible. This means you should learn as much as possible about his hobbies and try to share them.

Does the young man like sports? We go to classes at the same gym. He has a dog? Let's get ourselves a dog. Does the young man always hang out in the pool or fitness club? We sign up for the same pool and club. In a word, we try to do everything to meet with him often. And on occasion, we start a conversation about the guy’s favorite activity, trying to make him understand that we also understand something about this. After all, it is enough for a man and a woman to start talking, and some kind of relationship will begin between them. In the future, all that remains is to constantly stir up the interest of your loved one.

To do this, you need to improve all the time, change something in yourself, learn something, not forgetting to take care of your own appearance. Ungroomed, carelessly dressed girls can become friends, acquaintances, but not loved ones. Therefore, you should always look neat and attractive and try to be as charming as possible. Then the guy will see you as a woman, and not an asexual being. If this happens, he will begin to feel sympathy. This will be the first step towards the emergence of true feelings.

Then all you have to do is pretend that you haven’t yet chosen who to fall in love with. The young man will certainly be eager to be chosen. The goal has been achieved. Now let him think about what to do to make you fall in love.

Hi all! Today we will talk about a very specific topic, namely, we will touch on the issue of female love. We are all human, so we all want to love and be loved. However, the “arrow of cupid” sometimes awaits us in the most unexpected situations, from which it is subsequently very difficult to extricate ourselves. For example, what should you do if you fall in love with your boyfriend’s boss or friend, or maybe even a girl?!

In this article we will try to understand all the most pressing situations that have happened and are happening to the fair sex.

What to do, if:

Fell in love with a guy I have feelings for a girl I fell in love with a friend I fell in love with a married man I'm crazy about my boss I have feelings for my teacher I really like the teacher I fell in love with my boyfriend's friend I fell in love with my friend

Fell in love with a guy

Most often, girls fall in love with ordinary guys, that is, men who do not differ much in age, status, and even have a little similar characters. Therefore, in such cases you should not worry too much and think about how to behave. Trust your feelings, desires and listen to your heart, perhaps it will tell you how you should behave.


First of all, try to determine whether the man has reciprocal feelings. If they are not there, then you can awaken them, and we already wrote about how to make a guy fall in love with you in one of our previous articles. However, no matter what feelings the guy has for you, do not rush to confess your feelings to him (at least, you definitely shouldn’t do this in words).

Start paying him special attention! Let him feel his superiority, because the most important feeling in men is pride and self-esteem. Therefore, as soon as you begin to praise or admire him, you will immediately become much more noticeable to him. Guys immediately notice such girls. The main thing is not to overdo it.

Be around him more often: walk together in the same company, chat with friends. Try to seem interesting not only to him, but also to his friends, then you will be invited to go out more often. Naturally, sometimes arrange situations so that at least for a few minutes you are completely alone - this will help you open up to each other faster.

I have feelings for a girl

Some girls have fallen in love with other girls more than once. Moreover, such a feeling can be expressed in several forms: either a woman’s appearance fascinates her, or a girl attracts her with her character, behavior, and in general you want to be with her always and everywhere. In the first case, such sympathy cannot in any way be called love - it is attraction, passion, excitement, but not love, so you shouldn’t bother too much here, since this feeling will pass as soon as you forget about it for at least a few days. As a rule, you experience the same feeling towards other spectacular girls. Therefore, this is a faster manifestation of your orientation than of feelings. However, if your case falls within the scope of the second type of attraction, then this is a clear manifestation of falling in love. But still, you shouldn’t “cut in the heat of the moment” (tell a girl about your feelings). Let a little time pass after your first such sensation.

Do not forget that confessing your feelings can seriously frighten a girl, and not a trace will remain of your good relationship. Better try to become a part of her life, let her get used to you and never be able to live without you again. As a rule, love feelings do not require anything more than communication, being nearby and visual contact, and all this can be realized, even without revelations to her. Let her decide for herself how you feel about her. The main thing is that she does not turn away from you, otherwise it may hurt your heart.

Fell in love with a friend

To the question: does friendship exist between a man and a woman, there is still no clear answer. Some psychologists claim that there can be no friendship between a guy and a girl, while others, on the contrary, are desperately trying to prove the opposite. I (the author of the article) consider myself more of those who are sure that there is no and cannot be friendship between “M” and “F”. Since such friendship arises only from sympathy, if not mutual, then definitely one-sided! That's why situations like this happen when a girl suddenly realizes that she has fallen in love with her best friend.

We recommend immediately confessing your feelings to a friend, especially if he shows some kind of response - tenderly hugs, treats you kindly, cares, protects, helps, and the like. After all, having opened up to him, you will see his reaction and understand that all his gestures and actions were friendly or still carried some hint of sympathy.

However, be prepared for the fact that luck may not smile on you - the guy can directly tell you that he does not want any relationship other than friendly ones, which means that you will forever lose that hope of reciprocal feelings. However, it is better to know the truth than to indulge yourself in unrealistic dreams of an imaginary future.

How to confess your love to your friend is up to you to decide. The right thing to do would be to find a good moment, take him by the hands and gently kiss him on the lips, and then confess your feelings for him.

Fell in love with a married man

First, honestly acknowledge the fact whether the man is ready to leave his wife. Forget about his promises (everyone lies), and just look at the real situation. How long have you been together - six months, a year? And he keeps feeding you with promises that he needs time for a divorce?! This means, most likely, he is not ready to leave his wife and 90% of the fact is that he will not leave her even in five years. Therefore, in such a situation, you need to either come to terms with the fact that you will always share your man with another girl, or leave him and start building a new relationship with a free guy.

If you have just started dating a married man and are thinking about your future life, then you again need to accept the fact that there is a high probability that the man will not be able to leave his wife. Are you ready to fight for him and spend part of your life as a mistress?!

As you can see, every girl must decide for herself what to do if she falls in love with a married guy. There is no perfect one-size-fits-all advice. All cases are different, sometimes a man starts an affair for the sake of sex, sometimes for the sake of interest, and only in some cases does a man actually fall in love with a girl, despite the fact that he is married and perhaps even has children. The latter cases are extremely rare!

You will learn what to expect from a relationship with a married man in the video below:

We would like to say right away that issuing an ultimatum is not the surest way out of the situation. More subtle matter is needed here. For more details about this case, read our next article: “Relationships with a married man.”

Crazy about the boss

Male bosses very often pay maximum attention to their beautiful female subordinates - this is not news. However, it is also obvious that such relationships rarely lead to anything more than sex. All girls know and understand this very well, but it is very difficult to resist the beautiful courtship of a successful man who knows how to conquer a girl. That's why girls fall in love with their bosses.

There are not many options here - either continue the relationship, which the man suggests, or permanently sever all ties with him, except work ones. There is simply no other option, and the sooner you make your choice, the faster your soul will feel better. Although, in any case, you will suffer and cry quietly into your pillow at night, so gather all your strength into a fist and make your choice. After that, try to take your mind off these troubles - go with your friends to a club where you can have a good rest (dance, sing and just have fun). After all, now more than ever you need positivity and a charge of energy.

Very often, bosses simply use pretty girls for fun. If you suspect this, then try at this stage to squeeze the maximum benefit for yourself out of this relationship. For example, ask for help making repairs in the apartment, or buying new furniture, and for one thing, equipment. And it’s been a while since you’ve vacationed on the seas. It may look a little brazenly selfish, but it is very honest. And if he suddenly starts to be greedy, then it will be “another stone in his garden.”

I have feelings for the teacher

Every normal girl who had a handsome teacher at least once in her life fell in love with him or at least experienced special tender feelings for him. Therefore, let's face it - falling in love with a teacher is more than normal, because what can we do with our nature? No, of course, this can be called an incorrect attraction, from some point of view even an immoral act, but we are now talking about love, which all ages are submissive to and we cannot regulate when and with whom we can fall in love. Everything happens spontaneously.

If you are truly in love with your teacher and are ready to do anything for him, then first of all we do not recommend that you make personal confessions. There is no need to put him in an awkward position, because even if he feels reciprocal sympathy for you, he will still have to refuse you, since he is, first of all, a teacher who gives you knowledge, this relates to professional ethics. In addition, give your feelings time during which you can check their authenticity. After all, you are still a young girl who is exploring the world in all its manifestations, and therefore it is not surprising that you fantasize about a relationship with your teacher.

I really like the teacher

Showing feelings and sympathy for a beautiful teacher is quite normal, both among boys and teenage girls. We are all human, so don’t think that your fantasies are something wrong or abnormal. You are growing, and hormones are playing in your blood, which can now be expressed in the most unpredictable desire for you.

It is in high school that the formation of a person’s orientation begins, so it is difficult for many girls to immediately determine what kind of feeling arose for the teacher - love or ordinary sympathy for a beautiful and well-groomed woman, as a role model.

In any case, you should not rush with your confessions, since it is not yet known how the teacher will react to this (every person is different). She may show excessive attention to you (frequently and sincerely smile, help for free, praise and even stroke or hug). But you shouldn’t consider every such gesture as a confession of your sympathy for you. Perhaps she likes you not as a girl, but as a daughter or a person.

Consider the general statistics that say that something serious is unlikely to come out of a student’s sympathy for a teacher or vice versa. Therefore, if you have fallen in love with your teacher, try to control yourself and allow time to put everything in its place.

I fell in love with my boyfriend's friend

One of the most difficult situations can be called falling in love with your boyfriend's friend. The fact is that male friendship is very strong, and if they are truly friends, then you will become like a “bone in the throat” in it. If your ex finds out that you are going to leave (or have already left) him because of a friend, then either the friendship will end, or your new relationship will simply not begin. Therefore, the first rule that you must learn is that you must perform all your actions and actions very carefully and thoughtfully.

If you really fell head over heels in love with a friend of your other half, then it is better to first leave your current boyfriend, and then after a while start seducing his friend, in this case there will be a greater chance that the friend will want to build some kind of relationship with you and the ex will not will destroy them.

However, keep in mind that it is much easier to destroy something than to build a new one. Therefore, by deciding to take such a desperate step, you will forever destroy your bridges with this guy, especially if it later turns out that you have a new relationship with his friend. Also, think again about whether that friend is worth such sacrifices on your part?!

Fell in love with a friend

Just above we described the situation that a girl can fall in love with a girl. However, if your girlfriend has become the object of adoration, then the situation here is somewhat different. First, you must accurately determine for yourself: that the feelings you have for her are real (love), and not friendly. After all, the desire to hug, kiss and always be close arises not only to a loved one, but also to just a loved one - a friend or relative.

Next, decide what kind of relationship will suit you with her - only sex or a full-fledged relationship (love). If your friend is attracted to you sexually, the issue can be resolved quite simply. Firstly, you don’t need to tell your friend anything, and secondly, try to go to some celebration together, from which you will return home together not completely sober, invite her to your home, where there will definitely be no one. After which, already at home, try to give vent to your feelings and, as a game, seduce her or at least kiss her passionately. As numerous practice shows, there are no problems with this and the girlfriend quite willingly agrees to such games, the main thing is not to be pushy and find the right approach.

However, if a friend attracts you spiritually, at the level of feelings, then you need to approach her very carefully. First, casually find out how she really feels about bisexual girls. If it's okay, then hint that you feel like one of them. If everything went smoothly here, then make the following hint that she is the one you like most of the girls, and supplement your speech with a lot of compliments addressed to her. Here, in any case, there will be a pause during which you need to look into her eyes with a very sincere look. After all, now everything will be decided...

We wish you only mutual love!

Good day. Maybe my question will be inappropriate, but it’s still worth a try. I'm a guy and fell in love with a guy (name Yura). Although everything is fine with girls, when I was a little younger, for me it was some kind of entertainment, and I didn’t take a relationship with a guy seriously. But somehow I met a guy younger than me, I liked him very much, and without even noticing it, we had already been together for two months. And then I thought, what kind of future awaits me, what will I do next. He is a guy, and so am I. What will I tell my parents, what kind of family will my children have? I broke up with him and tried not to remember, not to think, to completely forget the person. But somehow I decided to write, my feelings flared up, but the person didn’t even want to hear me. I found a girl (Yulia), everything seems to be fine, we are together, but there is a “but”, I cannot tell her that I miss her, that I love her, that I feel good with her. Because I think about him and while my girlfriend is at home, I’m at work, I establish communication with him and want to return the relationship. It seems like I’ve decided everything, but indecision comes again. Yes, I understand that I need to understand myself, I need to be alone with myself and firmly decide what is more important to me. But no matter how many times I’ve done this, somehow it’s all in vain, I still think about Yura. Or do I just not want to forget him?(


Artem, Minsk, 21 years old

Family psychologist's answer:

Hello, Artem.

He is a guy, and so am I. What will I tell my parents, what kind of family will my children have?

Artem, do you need to start a family and children right now? Hardly. And then, family, children - all this is possible in very different versions. But first, you will still have to solve a much more global question: for whom do you want to live, for your parents, society, or, after all, for yourself? If the first, then with a high probability you will live a life that suits others, but at the same time you yourself will not live your life. What is it like to live someone else’s life, will you feel good in life just because your parents are happy - this is a big question. Can you live only on the praise of your parents and others (who, in general, don’t really care about your life)? This is still a rather childish position: it seems that if parents and relatives approve, then everything is good and correct. However, over time, a moment comes in everyone’s life when he understands: no, only the approval of loved ones is not enough for happiness. It is also very important to have your own, something that may not at all resemble parental expectations, but at the same time you need it, because you are a person who is different from your parents and may have different values, other guidelines.... Yes, and Then, orientation is not something about which you can make a choice so simply and easily.

Yes, I understand that I need to understand myself, I need to be alone with myself and firmly decide what is more important to me.

If you, for example, are a pronounced bisexual, you cannot simply solve this by force of will. You will probably have to spend time finding out who and for what reason is really suitable for you for a long-term partnership - a man or a woman, and for this you need to communicate with both of them, without forbidding yourself from the relationship. It sometimes takes more than one year for this to become clear. In my practice, there were examples when a man, trying to “be good” and meet the expectations of others, got married and even had children, and then... Then he realized that men were more suitable for him. Do I need to talk about how difficult it was in this case to sort things out with the family later? After all, you are still young, and you are not obliged to make any promises to anyone or make plans for many years ahead and generally rush into this choice. And, I repeat, it is impossible to do it deliberately. You can only observe yourself and try to separate your true desires from what was imposed by someone, from illusions, fantasies, etc. And this process is not the case when you should rush and make hasty decisions, both in one direction and the other. If you want to learn about the nuances of orientation formation, both of my sites (link here to Cleo in profile) have an article “Types of sexual orientation and its formation.” Read, think. Perhaps you will understand better why things are so and why these clarifications take time.

Sincerely, Anton Mikhailovich Nesvitsky.