I have already said that in Kuwait there are two types of women - some prefer Muslim traditions and wear a hijab, others, on the contrary, absorb the trends of European culture and lifestyle. But, unfortunately, they do it in a peculiar way. For example, the way they “suffocate”. I know that it’s correct to say “apply fragrance,” but Arab girls actually scent themselves and choke everyone who is nearby. They spray themselves the same way I apply tick repellent at the height of the season before going into the woods. And what’s more, the eau de toilette sold in Kuwaiti markets is of very dubious quality...
Let's look at the "Kuwaiti Letual". Girls in burqas have to tuck the bottle under their clothes, which looks funny:
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Most branded fragrances are sold in identical bottles. It is explained to the consumer that this is a real Chanel, “drained from a common vat at the factory” by his own people:
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A slightly more luxurious option:
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When we walked around the market, there were two girls with us. While we were photographing the stalls at the fish market, they spent half an hour hanging out in the perfume shop. Each bought 4 bottles of perfume! FOUR!!!
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It is worth noting that this store was advanced - bottles of different shapes, although there were no original ones among them:
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And so, when we got into the car, the girls began to test their purchases:
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Careful application to samples is for the weak. The girls poured one scent after another in the car with the windows closed. This reminded me very much of an elevator in the morning of a working day - when you enter the floor, and everything inside the cabin “smells” from your neighbor, who has put on a lot of perfume for the future:
In this regard, I would like to remind you that the aroma of perfume should be heard in close proximity to a person, and not notify others of its appearance long before entering the room. Some perfumers generally recommend spraying once into the air and passing through the cloud of aroma - that's enough.
Family in the UAE comes first. Arab woman She is the keeper of the family hearth and is respected by Arab men. It is believed that the more children there are, the happier a family is.
OFFICEPLANKTON traced how a husband and wife actually live in an Arab family, how family responsibilities are distributed, whether a husband has many wives, and how family life goes in Arab countries.
Acquaintance
The decision to marry is made primarily by the groom's family. Women's rights in Muslim countries are equivalent to men's, so a potential bride has the right to refuse the proposal if she does not like the groom.
Arab women they almost never marry Europeans - for marrying an infidel, she will simply be expelled from the country forever. Men from the UAE sometimes marry girls from Europe, but even here everything is structured in such a way that marriage does not benefit anyone except the man. For a woman, this marriage will not be a pass to obtain citizenship; children, if family life does not work out, will be taken away and left in the country.
True, a marriage with a rich Emirati is in many ways a pleasant thing while it lasts. After all, according to the law, even if the wife is the second, third or fourth, each has her own separate house, a generous allowance, and the share of attention should be equal to each of the “beloved” women.
Today, not every Arab can afford polygamy. Although Islam allows up to four wives, the main reason for such monogamy is the lack of funds to maintain a harem. Therefore, the classic UAE family, consisting of one husband, several wives and a harem, is the privilege of sheikhs and wealthy people.
Wedding
If for European newlyweds a marriage contract is only now beginning to come into fashion, then for Arab countries such a contract is a mandatory element of the wedding. Instead of the bride, her two relatives sign the marriage contract.
The wedding celebration itself, after signing, can take place within a year - before that, the groom can see his future wife only in the presence of her relatives. For the bride, the groom's family pays a bride price, which can reach several hundred thousand dollars, so it is profitable to give birth to girls.
An Arab wedding is a truly grandiose spectacle. The table is bursting with treats, which are constantly renewed in order to show the guests their hospitality and abundance. Since Islam prohibits alcohol, there is nothing stronger than coffee on the holiday table. But this does not prohibit the wedding from taking place for up to seven days.
Family life
The popular belief about discrimination against Arab women turns out to be somewhat exaggerated. In any Arab family, a woman must obey her husband, but she always takes part in solving important issues.
It is a myth that married women in the Emirates live like in prison.
Yes, they are almost invisible on the street. Those that exist are in black.
In fact, a married woman can wear whatever she wants: a miniskirt, jeans, and shorts (they are generally great fashionistas there, they can spend hours in stores, choosing cutting-edge outfits and fabrics) - but on top she must wear a black a silk cape to the toes, and cover her face with a black scarf. Only fingers, feet and eyes are visible. And even then, black capes are rare. Today on the streets you can see an Arab woman in jeans and a tunic, but the only thing they still adhere to is head covering. One thing you rarely see is a woman without a scarf on her head.
Older women cover their faces with a copper mask. Young people, of course, are more liberated, but all beauty is for the husband.
By the way, Emirati women They receive quite a decent education, the best universities in the world are open to them, but their scholarship remains unclaimed. Having gotten married, a girl can no longer work: either she is forbidden, or she does not want to, tired of frequent pregnancies and childbirth. (Although, of course, young people are more progressive in this regard. And many girls, having received an education in Europe, remain there to make a career. Arab families those living outside the Muslim world rarely seriously adhere to age-old traditions).
Once upon a time, an Arab husband could tell his wife at any time: “Talaq, talaq, talaq” (“go away”) - and this meant that he was divorcing her, and she must immediately leave his house, taking with her only what she needed. what she was wearing. Therefore, women - just in case - carried all the gold given to them on themselves. Now, of course, this is an anachronism.
But women still carry kilograms of gold on themselves (for example, the sheikh’s daughter decorated herself with 16 kilograms of gold at her wedding. Newspapers described each piece of jewelry in detail and published photographs indicating the exact price). And men give gold instead of flowers. The more the gift weighs, the stronger the love. According to the local saying, woman without gold - naked.
And for those who are worried about the “oppression” of Arab wives by their Muslim husbands, we can say: a woman in the UAE can file for divorce in two cases.
1) If there is a fact of infidelity on the part of the spouse. But this article is obviously “dead”, because... Polygamy is officially legal in the UAE. And if the hubby does sin, the wife prefers to remain silent. No one will marry such a “scandal” again, and a trail of gossip will follow her all her life. Again, during a divorce, children remain with their father.
2) If the husband does not provide enough for his wife. Well, he doesn’t take her to restaurants (true), doesn’t buy gold (true), builds her a house worse than the other wives’, etc. The court considers such requests very carefully and sometimes grants them. After all, a rich Emirati can afford several wives, but everyone should be treated equally. A clear schedule of visits is established, a separate villa is built for the new wife (not cheaper, but not more expensive than the previous one), money is distributed in equal proportions, and in general, the wives should be happy with everything. If something is wrong, this is not the wife’s problem, but the husband’s, who was unable to “resolve” the situation.
Kinship support in an Arab family is extremely powerful. For example, if a woman is widowed, her husband’s brother will consider it his duty to marry her and protect her.
I'm writing about Arabic ones. Naturally, there are exceptions everywhere. I'm writing about the "big picture" picture.
myth 1. Arab woman is quiet and submissive . whoever said that has never seen Arab women =))) The Arab woman is like a volcano - hot-tempered, but easy-going. in fact, Arab men are the same. The myth was most likely born due to cultural characteristics - an Arab woman will never insult her husband or parents and will not raise her voice at them. As for the parents, no explanation is required, but as for the husband, there is no need to cut the branch on which you are sitting. Naturally, there are conflicts in the family, but the attitude towards the husband is somewhat different. Well, the fact that Eastern people avoid “sharp corners” in conversation also plays a role - I will also talk about this separately.
myth 2. Arab woman is beaten literally and figuratively
. as for the direct meaning - I know more Russian families where they practice beating their wife
, but she endures (very often what a Russian woman endures, an Arab woman will not tolerate). Of course, there are idiots among Arabs too, but personally I do not know such. only by hearsay. plus the fact that if the husband does something to his wife, and she is not to blame, and her father and brothers find out about it... it’s time for the husband to prepare a shroud =) in Russia, as a rule, both father and brothers , they didn’t care that their daughter/sister was being beaten by their husband. especially fathers. (The most ridiculous explanation for such a father was - well, I’m too intelligent to beat my son-in-law). Naturally, this does not apply to Caucasians - they always stand up for their own people.
According to Islam, a woman can be hit (slapped) only as a last resort - for educational purposes, just like a child. but before that, you need to talk to her a couple of times, then ask her parents to talk to her, then, for example, not talk to her or deprive her of sex or deprive her of something else, and only then, if she persists in some kind of stupidity , spank her a couple of times (not to the point of bruising, of course) - this, in my opinion, is a well-known fact. It’s just a pity that many people don’t know this and distort it however they want.
As for the moral downtroddenness, in fact Arab girls are raised like princesses
. They are pampered, they are taken care of, they are tried to be protected from everything bad - like a hothouse flower... Therefore, by the way, there are two options for Arab girls - normal and adequate, friendly and cultured. or very cultured girls who believe that the whole world revolves around them. These second ones can be recognized by the harshness of the conversation and the lack of depth and appearance like Masha Malinovskaya. .. well, or who knows, imagine Haifa Wehbe.. a certain Lebanese counterpart of Malinovskaya.. although... the attitude towards Haifa in Arab countries is twofold - they either love her and consider her a beauty, or they don’t like her and consider her an ugly and dissolute person. I belong to the second group =)
To describe it in a few words The character of a typical Arab woman is that she is proud, stubborn, quick-tempered, but quick-witted, feminine, sociable, charming, mysterious, with a love for beauty.
Myth three: at a wedding, a woman is “bought” for camels; during a divorce, she is told three times, “You’re not my wife, go away with what you were wearing.”
" and she leaves in what she was. These myths relate to myths about Islam. and sometimes to the traditions of “ethnic Muslims” of the USSR. First, about the gift of marriage. In Arabic, the gift of marriage is called mahr. mahr is given only to women
(and not her parents) as a guarantee that she will be able to live for some time if suddenly something happens to her husband, God forbid. The woman disposes of the makhrom at her own discretion. There is no talk of any return of the mahr. (some Arab goats confuse Russian fools by saying that if something happens to them, the wife will be obliged to give the mahr to her parents - this is not true.). Mahr is paid not in camels (I don’t take the Bedouins into account - I’m not talking about them at all - they have their own laws), but in money... or jewelry... or cars... everyone has their own needs. Each country has its own “average mahr”. Naturally, if a man loves you, he will pay no less. Mahr is also a guarantee that the future husband will have enough to feed his family
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bride price should be distinguished from mahr. I can’t quite describe what it is, since I haven’t talked much with people who have it. but I know that this is only the tradition of these peoples.
about divorce
: again, Muslim law - yes, you must say “you are not my wife” in front of witnesses while being of sound mind and calm - i.e. deliberately. Moreover, if your wife is having her period, then you can’t tell her that (even then they knew what hormone surges in women were). after I said we have to wait a couple of months
(2 cycles - to find out that the woman is not pregnant). at this time you can make peace. if not, then he speaks a second time. then he waits and speaks a third time. That's when they got divorced. In different countries, property is divided differently. It happens that it is very expensive for a husband to get a divorce - the wife will rip you off like a stick.
Myth four. An Arab woman is forced to wear a burqa, is forbidden to communicate with men, is not allowed to study or work, and is not allowed to go outside at all.
first about the “burqa” - I still fully understand what this word means. the most common thing that can be found in Arab countries is a headscarf and niqab (fabric that covers the lower part of the face). Well, appropriate clothing that covers the entire body except the hands and sometimes the feet. This is Muslim clothing and girls wear it quite consciously at will
. Many Arab women dress in European fashion. In the Khalij countries, where European influence is not so strong, this is very rare. in general about the hijab - from personal experience - with a hijab you feel much more protected than without it. The only trouble is that in Russia it is dangerous to dress “not like everyone else.”
about men - men and women have separate companies, which is logical.
therefore, for example, if friends come to visit the husband, it is better for the wife not to disturb them. and in general, from personal experience I will subscribe a thousand times - that when you are married, it is better to reduce communication with men to a minimum - otherwise you will not end up with problems (at least such a problem that by communicating you give a man false hope for something). Moreover, it doesn’t matter what kind of communication. If a person likes you, where there is a “no”, he hears “yes”. so here in the ethics of behavior everything is logical.
Arab women are not allowed to study - on the contrary, education is valued in Arab countries
and parents do everything possible to ensure that their children learn. They don’t let you work - is it necessary? Having lived and worked in Russia, I can say with confidence: I want to be a housewife!! Well, if you really need to work, then your husband cannot forbid it. It’s just that for many Arab men this is a blow to their pride: “your wife works, why can’t you provide for her?” so whoever wants to, works.
An Arab woman is not allowed out into the street - she is released. They just care about its safety. such a treasure must be protected
. An Arab woman must be accompanied by either a group of trusted friends, or a brother or husband. or parents will call every 2 hours and ask how things are going. especially if you are moving from one place to another. They still call me. I am 23 years old. My friend is 27. They call her the same way. =)
There is also a myth that Arab women are not given money. this is wrong. gifts to his wife are the prestige of an Arab man. It’s the Uzbeks and Tajiks who don’t spoil their wives. no need to be confused.
Myth fifth. Arab woman's children are taken away in case of divorce
. there is a lot of truth here, children belong to the father. it's in the mentality
. that is, a woman gives birth to children for her husband. and, by the way, it is customary to love a husband more than children. As for who is given to whom, small children are given to the woman, older children are given to the father. one reason is because the father is responsible for the spiritual education of children. They are also guided by the fact that, as a rule, the father works and the mother does not. This means the children won’t go hungry. But in general, if the father is a monster, then an adequate court will not give him the children. just like the Russian court, if you don’t buy it, of course, will not give the children to the idiot mother if the husband is normal.
Myth 6. Arab women are calm about polygamy
. In many countries there is no polygamy at all. and in general, it is rare. on the part of men, I have already written about this. Now on the women's side: there are some families where it is traditional to have two wives. Since childhood, girls consider this to be normal, so they perceive it normally. I'll tell you why later. In the overwhelming majority of Arab families, having two wives is a rarity. in particular because they eat husband alive with jealousy
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and they can do nasty things to each other. or some other way to compete. In general, despite the fact that I communicated with many peoples, I saw only three women who would like to be not the only wife. and they were all..... Russian. Moreover, I don’t communicate with Russians that much, despite the fact that I live here. two of them wanted to be not the only ones out of stupidity - they, you see, are bored alone with their husband. (hence I conclude that they got married for show). and another one simply lost faith in herself - a newly converted Muslim with a rather sharp understanding of religion. such that it is impossible to meet anyone. and the family is not Muslim, they won’t find anyone either. That’s why she was willing to at least marry a Muslim as a second wife.
It is much more interesting for the European reader to learn about... the advantages of polygamy (the disadvantages are already clear, I think) from the side of women: here, of course, it is better to be a second wife, and not the first. then you already know how a person treats his wife and children, you know his financial condition and you know exactly where you will live. Well, if you are younger... it’s clear who will be “favorite”. Now, as for both the first and second wives: if a woman is not alone, firstly, it keeps her on her toes. She is developing for the better (or she is plotting, which is bad). secondly, sometimes you really want to take a break from household chores - not to cook pickles for your husband, not to iron his clothes, etc., etc.... but to lie and do nothing. they have this opportunity. but for me personally, of course there are more disadvantages. but in any case, you can indicate in the marriage contract that you are against the second wife =)
Young sexologists have appeared in the Islamic world, who, together with their European and American colleagues, are trying to figure out what sex is in Arabic in our time.
Therefore, graduates of relevant specialties from Oxford, Columbia University, the American University of Beirut, as well as representatives of the young clergy, recently gathered in Lebanon for a 3-day conference. After the first day of work, it turned out that in Islamic countries there is nowhere near the romantic sex that Europeans read about in “Tales of 1001 Nights” by the incomparable Scheherazade. And there is sexual crudeness, cruelty to children and bloody violence.
In some Arab states, a medieval custom has still been preserved, according to which the relatives of the groom, or rather the young husband, can kill the entire family of the bride who turns out to be not a virgin. And the Sharia court will give the thugs only a suspended sentence, since the dishonor of the bride is considered a mitigating circumstance for such a serious crime.
In many countries in the Middle East, “honor killings” are also widespread, again of brides who lost their virginity before marriage. In Jordan, more than 20 murders of this kind are committed annually, and in Yemen - as many as 400. Moreover, as travelers say, on an island not far from the shore, a “Tower of Death” was specially built, where brides who lost their virginity before marriage or young women who cheated on their husbands are brought by boat. and they throw them from high walls directly onto sharp stones that line the courtyard of the tower, which has no exits. It’s good if the unfortunate woman immediately breaks her head and dies easily. But what is it like for a tender girl to lie with broken arms and legs in the hot sun among the stinking corpses of already dead women and wait for a painful death?
The terrible screams of dying beauties even reach coastal villages, causing animal fear among local fishermen. In Morocco, if a woman gives birth to an illegitimate child, he is taken to a special shelter, and a large fine is imposed on the entire unfortunate family, and the young mother is sent to prison for 6 months. How to please the man you love?
The laws of any Arab country also severely punish homosexuality and lesbianism. Gay people can be castrated, and lesbians can have their tongues cut out and their heads shaved. However, during the further work of the conference, it became clear that modern youth, especially students, are trying in every possible way to circumvent such medieval laws and official morality often does not correspond to what is happening in the intimate spheres of Islamic society today. Recent population surveys have shown that, for example, in Lebanon only 50% of brides are married as virgins. And no one makes a fuss. Simply, the father of a previously sinned girl gives part of the ransom paid for her to the groom's relatives.
There is an even higher percentage of “spoiled” brides in North African countries. There they are sympathetic to the love of hot Arab men for young girls, even if they are the daughters of concubines from their own harems. Then the rich sell the “consumed” beauties to the poor and pay them extra. The situation is much the same with homosexuality. In rich families, boys begin to be “spoiled” from the age of 5, and in Arab prisons there is an unwritten law to immediately “let go” a young, pretty prisoner, and first the guards “work” on him, and then everyone else. Some of the speakers at the conference stated that the Saudis are famous for their special passion for same-sex love, for some reason they strive to teach the entire Arab world to live according to Sharia law.
In order to somehow lift the veil of secrecy over the problems existing in the intimate spheres of the Arab world, a kind of sexy late-night television program called “Yankee Tent” began airing in Lebanon recently, the ratings of which reached record levels. In it, sexologists and everyone discuss any sensitive problems - from oral sex to incest. Homosexuals speak out there in defense of their movement, wearing white masks on their faces as a precaution, and lesbians talk about the delights of female love, having painted their faces and bodies beyond recognition. Just a few years ago, nothing like this could have been imagined in the Arab world. Apparently, this is why representatives of the clergy present at the conference criticized Western culture, which allegedly corrupts Islamic spiritual values and provokes the creation of such television shows. “We will soon reach the point where, like in some states of America, our wives will demand money from us for each intercourse,” said one of the conservative members of the conference. But another answered him that American husbands are not fools either and they add sleeping pills to their too obstinate wives, so that they can then use the relaxed body of their faithful for free.
In conclusion, the conference participants expressed the opinion that signs of a sexual revolution are gradually appearing in the Islamic world. This development of events was facilitated by tens of thousands of refugees - Lebanese and Palestinians, who visited many countries of the world and absorbed foreign morals and customs there. Having returned to their homeland, they are no longer afraid to touch upon topics prohibited by the Koran. In addition, many Arab women are increasingly leaving the custody of their husbands and becoming independent figures in business and politics. TV programs about sex from neighboring, less enslaved countries have a huge influence on the population of the Middle East. Of course, it is impossible to immediately abolish all medieval Sharia laws. But it is curious that one Egyptian journalist told foreign observers that in the field of sex in the Muslim world, men and women still act according to the principle: it is not the one who stole, but the one who is caught who is to blame.
