How to learn self-control in stressful situations. How to learn to remain calm. Ignore external stimuli

Self-control- this is the ability of an individual to maintain inner calm, as well as act carefully and wisely in difficult life situations. The origin of self-control is associated with behavioral stereotypes - social and cultural attitudes that are instilled from childhood. The sense of self-control includes resistance to any emerging situations, a firm hand and a confident look, accurate reaction and quick calculation, as well as control over both one’s own and others’ emotions.

Endurance and self-control

The strong-willed qualities that characterize self-control include endurance, determination, and courage. Self-controlled individuals are marked by the ability and habit to control their behavior and their movements. Such individuals know how to control themselves and their speech, and are able to refrain from unconscious actions. Endurance and great will are the ability to achieve and wish for something, as well as the ability to force yourself to give up something when necessary. A self-controlled person is able to restrain his feelings, will not allow impulsive actions, will control his mood, and in the most difficult conditions he will not lose his presence of mind, will maintain composure, and will be able to pull himself together. A self-possessed person is patient and resilient, both in relation to long-term (boring work, aching pain, tedious waiting) and short-term stimuli (for example, sharp pain). He knows how, if necessary, to endure hardships and hardships that cause him physical suffering and, when necessary, to restrain his needs (thirst, hunger, the need for rest).

E.P. Ilyin classifies self-control as a collective volitional characteristic that includes courage, endurance, and partly determination.

Fundamental and important personality traits for a leader are the ability to cope with the external expression of emotions, while remaining calm in an extreme situation, not reacting to stimuli and maintaining inner calm.

The Art of Self-Control

Self-control refers to the art of tact, tolerance, and patience. The art of self-control is marked by the ability to act rationally rather than emotionally. Self-control allows you to rule not only over yourself, but also over other individuals. This feeling helps in making the right decisions, especially in extreme situations. Self-control makes it possible to see this world through the prism of calm, as well as self-confidence. In everyday life, self-control is manifested in the ability to suppress desires and strong inclinations, the ability to control emotional impulses and show determination, as well as control behavior when fear arises.

Self-control is manifested in the following forms: patience (endure difficulties and inconvenience), abstinence (self-denial - refusal of harmful and reasonable use of useful), equanimity, tranquility (state of balance, peace and tranquility), self-discipline, perseverance (maintaining devotion and fidelity at the time of trials and temptations).

How to Maintain Composure

Often, impressionable and unbalanced natures do not know how to cope without special shocks with a stressful situation for the nervous system.

Loss of self-control and control over your emotions occurs due to the response of the brain and endocrine system to stress, which is triggered by complex chemical processes in the body. Simply put, it's all about hormones. However, for some reason, some are able to control their behavior during quarrels, while for other individuals conflicts end with breaking dishes, cursing, fists and slaps.

Self-control refers to the ability to think clearly during times of emotional stress, and this ability is highly individual. In many ways, this ability depends on behavioral stereotypes - cultural and social attitudes that are instilled from an early age. And what for some people is a sign of bad taste, for others it is the norm. That is why completely different reactions are observed in similar situations. The ability to maintain composure is influenced by the characteristics of the nervous system and psyche, physical condition, and stressful situation. If a person is tired, hungry, in physical pain, or in an unresolved interpersonal conflict, then it is likely that it will be very difficult to restrain himself. A person who knows how to control his emotions will not be ashamed of his behavior later. This is a big plus. However, there are also disadvantages.

It has long been proven that there is a connection between health status and negative emotions. Carefully hidden emotional experiences, accumulating, deplete the nervous system.

The unexpressed one will make itself felt over time, for example, by taking the form of increased irritability or some kind of disease. Therefore, controlling negative emotions is important in order to then easily get rid of them.

Some individuals maintain self-control by relieving tension during outdoor activities, sleep, sports, or love. Others unwind from the adrenaline rush of watching horror films, riding roller coasters or bungee jumping.

How to learn self-control? In order not to go deeper into a state of continuous stress, you need to choose an effective way to release the accumulated negativity. You should not accumulate situations where you have to suppress aggression and anger, assuring yourself that everything is fine and nothing happened. You should learn to develop a physiological response to a stressful situation, letting off steam not by screaming, but by using a civilized form of aggression. If you feel the accumulation of a large amount of negative energy, you should direct it for peaceful purposes, for example, try to resolve issues in the heat of rage that are difficult to resolve in a normal state.

If you are unable to respond appropriately to the offender, you can take advantage of relieving emotional stress with the help of a swimming pool, fitness, yoga, or spas. How not to lose composure? It is necessary to control your feelings, desires, thoughts, intentions, impulses, actions and words. It is important to learn to evaluate yourself and carry out self-analysis of your actions.

Loss of self-control manifests itself in weakening self-control and self-discipline.

Self-control is expressed in the fact that the individual goes deeper into his inner world, evaluating and analyzing it. By assessing his feelings, thoughts, desires, a person determines for himself their acceptability.

How to maintain composure? In order not to lose self-control, you must have self-discipline. After finding out which thought, desire, feeling is alien to us, and which is for the good, it is necessary to correctly respond to these manifestations: either embody, develop, cultivate, support, or suppress, eradicate, suppress. The individual suppresses and eradicates the bad in himself, and develops and cultivates the good.

How to develop self-control

There are several feasible first aid remedies for developing self-control:

ignoring external stimuli, for example, for training, you can use a phone call that rings at the wrong time. The individual’s task is to ignore the call, in this way one can learn to abstract from other stimuli that throw oneself out of balance;

delaying time and not immediately reacting to the opponent’s explosive reaction, while using a count of ten;

the ability to switch your attention and relax at the right moment.

A state of stress, excessive fatigue, and tension cause chemical reactions in the body that negatively affect behavior. Both the body and the psyche need relaxation and rest. To do this, it is necessary to create in the imagination a place to which the individual will mentally move as soon as he feels tired or overexerted. This could be, for example, an autumn park, a room with a soft chair, a beach with palm trees - everything that can lead to a state of tranquility and the return of comfort. You need to find within yourself that support point that will replenish your reserves of vital energy.

How to Stay Calm: 12 Tips on How to Stay Calm in a Stressful Situation Listed below are twelve tips on how to keep your cool and stay calm in different everyday situations. 1. Try not to be dramatic It is very easy to dramatize and make mountains out of molehills. When a problem affects you, resist the urge to exaggerate the negative. Avoid the words “always” and “when”. You may feel like Stuart Smalley, but telling yourself “I can handle this,” “It’s okay,” and “I’m stronger than this” can really help you look at the problem differently. 2. Think before sharing a problem Don't talk about, blog, or tweet about your problem. Don't discuss it with your friends right away; digest it yourself first, this will give you time to calm down a little. Sometimes, well-meaning friends are too sympathetic to you. This only adds fuel to the fire and makes you even more upset. 3. Discover metaphors and visualization as a way to stay calm Here's what helps me: I try to think of the problem as a knot. The more I panic and pull at the ends, the tighter the knot gets. But when I focus completely, I calm down and can loosen one thread at a time. It also helps if you imagine yourself acting calm and focused. Stop shouting and move as slowly as possible. Speak slowly and quietly. Become the calm and calm person you see in your imagination. Here's another trick: Do you know anyone who can be called unflappable? Think about what this person would do in your place. 4. Identify the factors that make you lose control Are there certain situations that make you lose control? Identify specific factors, from the time of day to how busy (or bored) you are, to your blood sugar levels. Do you lose your temper when it's too noisy—or too quiet? Knowing your personal triggers will help you stay calm throughout the day. 5. Realize that you can control your emotions Think back to times when you were able to successfully remain calm in a difficult situation. Perhaps it was when you wanted to yell at your spouse or children, but then the doorbell rang, and you were able to instantly change your mind. Remember that you can repeat this by knowing what irritates you and what can help you maintain peace of mind. 6. Create a calm environment with relaxing rituals If calm music comforts you, take advantage of it. If silence calms you, take advantage of it. Maybe you'll play soothing instrumental music, dim the lights, and light some scented candles. When you get home from work, take a few minutes to let your mind calm before diving into family matters. Sit in your car for a couple of minutes and take a few deep breaths. Take off your shoes and drink a few sips of water. Such rituals are extremely calming during the transition from one activity to another. 7. Take care of your basic needs Make sure you get enough sleep and get enough protein, fiber, vitamins and minerals. Most often, I become irritable when my blood sugar is low. However, all I have to do is eat something nutritious and I feel (relatively) better. Also try to exercise. Daily exercise helps relieve physical stress, which in turn helps you control your feelings. If I feel the need, then instead of jogging for half an hour, I do kickboxing. It helps. Avoid excessive consumption of sugar and caffeine, and stay hydrated. Drink a big glass of water and see if you feel better, calmer and more alert. 8. Pay attention to your soul and spirit Depending on your religious preferences, meditate or pray. Practice yoga—or just sit quietly for a while. The ability to find peace of mind will serve you well more than once. Take a meditation class and learn techniques to help you control your busy mind. 9. Get distracted Instead of thinking about the same thing, do something interesting, exciting or creative. Try to laugh (or laugh at yourself). Watch a comedy or read a blog that always makes you laugh. When you are animated, it is much easier to remain calm. 10. Take a day off If I fight like crazy not to take a day off, I know for sure that I need it. If I can overcome myself and spend a whole day away from work, I always come back calmer, more confident and filled with fresh ideas. 11. Remember to Breathe When my kids were very young, we helped them calm down by teaching them to breathe from their bellies. It still works - for them and for me. Breathing from your diaphragm helps relieve tension immediately and gives you a couple of minutes to calm down. Often this time is enough to assess the situation and regain a sense of control. During proper belly breathing, your belly will literally rise and fall. To practice, place your hand on your stomach. Inhale through your nose and see if your hand rises as you inhale. Hold your breath for a few counts and exhale slowly. 12. Reflect on quotes that can help calm your mind Here are a few quotes that I find inspiring: “You are the sky. Everything else is just weather.” Pema Chodron “A calm, focused mind, not aimed at harming others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe.” Wayne Dyer. “It’s no use rushing life. If I live on the run, then I live wrong. My habit of rushing will not lead to anything good. The art of living is to learn to give time to everything. If I sacrifice my life for the sake of haste, it will become impossible. Ultimately, procrastination means taking the time to think. This means taking time to think. Without haste, you can get everywhere.” Carlos Petrini is the founder of the “slow food” movement. “The single most important reason to remain calm is that calm parents hear more. Moderate, receptive parents are the ones whose children keep talking." Mary Pipher. “Keep calm, serenity, always control yourself. Then you will understand how easy it is to be at peace with yourself.” Paramahansa Yogananda.

Learning how to be calm in any situation in the ocean of life is simply necessary. Problems rain down on the heads of the inhabitants of planet Earth as if from a cornucopia. Ecology, politics, social upheavals, economics, the psychological state of society as a whole and each individual individually - nowhere is there even a hint of stabilization of the situation.

Not everyone can isolate themselves from everyone with a high fence or go to a desert island - there simply aren’t enough islands and fences, but trying to become a self-confident and balanced person is possible for everyone.

Do I need this?

Holders of certain types of temperament initially possess this skill. It was born with them, and helps to maintain equanimity in all situations throughout life’s journey. We are talking about phlegmatic people who cannot be nervous, these unsinkable cruisers of calm and confidence. But, firstly, there are not so many pure types of temperament in nature, and, secondly, having mastered the techniques of how to learn to remain calm, you can teach this to your family and loved ones.

Those representatives of society should master techniques for regulating their internal state:

who find it difficult to control emotions;
who avoids difficult questions and difficult situations;
to whom every little thing gets on your nerves;
who are worried about upcoming difficulties, real or imagined;
who dreams of always being a discreet person.

By starting this path, you can radically change your attitude towards yourself and life, make it more comfortable, not get nervous in stressful situations, and begin the path to personal development and managing your health.

Why you shouldn't be nervous

Maybe, well, this training on having calmness? Everyone is nervous, and somehow they survive, and some also manage to look great at the same time, build a career, defend dissertations, and start families. However, not everything is so rosy; there are many reasons why you shouldn’t be nervous.

If you get nervous, you’ll lose control of the situation, and then whoever wants to take you with their bare hands.
If you get nervous, family relationships in all verticals (husband-wife, children-parents, etc.) will suffer.
If you get nervous, you will receive something like a boomerang effect from those around you, and your emotion will return to you, only in double the size. Do you need this?
If you get nervous, you will get vasospasm, and everything that follows (migraine, atherosclerosis, stroke).
If you get nervous, your body will begin to increase production of the hormone cortisol, which destroys brain cells and nitrogenous decomposition of muscles.

Should I scare you further or is that enough? Even one of the above reasons is enough to significantly worsen the quality of life of Homo sapiens (homosapiens). And since he is reasonable, then he needs to learn how to remain calm, be confident, and always remain a person in control of his emotions.

Learning to be calm

Before you start mastering techniques that allow you to experience and then return this blissful state at will, it is advisable to find a picture that will personify this calmness for you and place it in your immediate environment.

This could be wallpaper on your computer desktop, a wall calendar, a poster on the wall depicting a peaceful landscape, a sleeping child, sunsets and sunrises, a starry sky, in general, anything that will be a symbol of peace for you.

The following four techniques were proposed by the French psychologist E. Pigani, in order to artificially induce and consolidate a feeling of calm.

“Jar of Honey” - a technique for slowing down movements

You need to choose some routine action that you do every day “automatically,” quickly and without thinking. This could be cleaning the closet, washing dishes, taking a shower, making tea, or any other type of simple activity. Breathing slowly and deeply, you need to slow down your movements as much as possible.

Now attention is directed to every movement, to the feeling of contact with the object being used. To make it more believable, you can imagine yourself immersed in a huge jar of honey, and slow down your movements even more.

The purpose of this exercise is to stop being nervous, quickly recover in stressful situations, and feel your presence “here and now” with all the acuteness.

“Jar of Rice” - a technique for training patience

To do this, you need to count the grains of rice, transferring them from one glass to another. Have you recalculated? Write down how much you got, and then do everything in reverse order. The results, of course, should be the same. If you want to grumble, remember that in a Buddhist monastery you would be forced to number each grain of rice.

“Food Pot” - mindful eating

Attitudes towards food in the times of fast food and convenience foods, frozen desserts and ready-made meals from the supermarket have undergone significant changes compared to the beginning of the last century. However, the human body, both then and now, is able to send a signal of satiety to the brain only 20-30 minutes after the start of the action of digestive juices.

Start your first meal by eating slowly, chewing slowly, and slowly breaking off pieces of the served dish. You need to sit with a straight back and a straight neck, bring cutlery to your mouth slowly, and eat calmly. Signals of satiety will reach the brain on time, less food will be needed, a slim figure will be ensured along with the ability not to get irritated while eating.

“Empty Pot” - a technique for listening to silence

Every week you need to set aside five (just five!) minutes to listen to silence. Turn off all phones, TVs, computers, dim the lights. You need to sit comfortably, without tension, with your hands on your hips. The left hand rests on the right, the thumb of the right hand rests on the left palm, does not press on it, but simply lies there.

With your eyes closed, you need to focus on the sensations at the point where your finger touches your palm. In this position, listen to silence for five minutes. After two months, meetings with silence take place every day. During them you can think about good and evil. The feeling of how to remain calm will be consolidated over time, it can be easily evoked in order not to be nervous and to be balanced in any conflict situation.

Controlling negative emotions

Zen Buddhists believe that every negative emotion is a message that needs to be read and released. They compare negative emotions to fire and water, saying that it is easier to cope with a fire that has just started and a leaky faucet when you immediately begin to fix the problem. As always, this is easier said than done, however, there is technology here that helps put everything in order.

Make a list of the 14 most frequently experienced negative emotions (anxiety, shame, hatred, melancholy, envy, resentment, etc.).
Separate these emotions from your inner self. For example, not “I am jealous,” but “I feel jealous,” not “I am guilty,” but “I feel guilty,” continue according to the pattern.
Remember the most severe attack of anger, its cause, your feelings at the same time, physical sensations. Well, where is this anger now?
Let's return to the list from the first point. Now we need to determine what service each emotion served. “Anxiety helps you be alert.” “Embarrassment helps you adapt to strangers.”
In the future, if you feel an increase in negativity, try to determine how this emotion can be useful. Most likely, now, having realized this, you will no longer become her hostage.

Such an analysis requires some time and desire. This is not such a high price to pay for the opportunity to always be confident and not get irritated in any situation.

For every stress there is... an anti-stress

If you want to assess the level of stress in your life, you can use the “social conformity scale” of American psychologists T. Holmes and R. Rahe, who rated every event in the life of an average person on a 100-point scale. In first place there is the death of a spouse (100 points), and in last place are New Year's holidays (12 points) and minor violation of the law (11 points).

The sum of points is used to calculate the level of stress and (attention!) the risk of getting sick. We don’t need such problems - to help ourselves and not get irritated, we will do “Anti-stress” exercises.

Let's pretend

The exercise is effective at any level of stress. You need to feign calmness, in this case a feeling of relaxation arises, and after a few minutes real calm comes. Here you need to be a bit of an actor, convince yourself that you are playing the role of a calm person. The secret here is that our subconscious always takes everything at face value - by believing you, it influenced the external state.

Smile and yawn

Every psychology textbook gives an example of how, when smiling, 42 facial muscles send a signal to the nervous system, triggering the process of regulating breathing, releasing muscle tension, and releasing “happiness hormones.” It works even with a forced, forced smile, and instantly. The same effect is produced by a wide yawn, which prevents irritation and brings relaxation.

Let's understand the world around us

The best remedy for increasing stress is to maintain contact with your own Self. To achieve this, you need to observe what is happening as if from the outside, to act somewhat detached. You must not lose attention and control over the situation; tell yourself all your actions. When you leave the house, say to yourself: “I am leaving the house.” When you wash the dishes, say to yourself: “I am washing the dishes.” When you turn on your computer, say to yourself, “I’m turning on the computer.”

Do you think this is too primitive? But “everything ingenious is simple,” you just need to try and make sure of the effectiveness of simple tips that will help you always be confident in your peace of mind and not get irritated over trifles.

More recently, a new concept has emerged - emotional intelligence. It refers to a person's ability to understand and manage their feelings and emotions. The higher a person’s emotional intelligence, the greater the chance of becoming a successful businessman and achieving his or her goals. The ability to control your emotions in any situation is valued much higher than a person’s mental abilities.

Conflict situation: how to pull yourself together?

1. Conflicts are often provoked by feelings of anger and resentment. Self-control primarily implies the ability to determine the quality of a situation. A correct understanding of the causes of a conflict situation will help you quickly find ways to solve the problem. The ability to think sensibly at a time when emotions are running high makes it possible to avoid minor conflicts.

Irritants arise so suddenly and unexpectedly that you cannot always contain the emotions rushing out. It happens that in a crowded minibus you stepped on your new shoes and crushed your foot, or unexpectedly, at the most inopportune moment, the phone rang. You begin to feel irritated and want to throw out your negative emotions. By submitting to your desires at such a moment, you provoke a conflict that can be avoided.

Understanding the meaninglessness of such a surge of emotions (after all, in this case, no one is to blame, no one pursued the goal of offending or annoying you), you can easily avoid a stressful situation.

2. Try to ignore irritants

Learn to think without being subject to surging negative emotions that can lead to conflict. Often this situation arises due to a simple inability to restrain one’s feelings. For example: in an office where many people work, some habits can serve as irritants. Someone speaks loudly on the phone, another is used to stirring sugar in a cup of coffee for a long time. It might seem like a small thing, but how many “office wars” arise for such insignificant reasons. How to save your nerves? Learn to ignore irritants that are not directly related to your feelings and desires. Instead of emotional remarks, use laughter and humor more often. If the sound of stirring coffee annoys you so much, then show your imagination: give this employee a set of disposable tableware for the holiday - it won’t ring.

If an unpleasant dialogue has already arisen, you should not make it the goal of “destroying the enemy.” A “biting” answer always encourages the opponent to make a counter move. The resentment left by your words can lead to the next conflict. The main goal of dialogue is to understand each other and come to a solution acceptable to both parties. A pause in a tense conversation gives not only you, but also your partner, the opportunity to think about your words and actions. The ability to think over your words and conduct a dialogue outwardly calmly, even if a “volcano of emotions” is raging inside you, is not always easy. The ability to pause will help you hold on to your feelings and not allow yourself and your opponent to move into a “bazaar squabble.”

To protect your nerves and remain calm even when the world around you is collapsing, follow these tips in your behavior:

smile and pause: this usually discourages the enemy and reduces his ardor;
continue the conversation in a calm voice, try to return your opponent to dialogue and not to bickering;
when listening to criticism addressed to you, do not try to justify yourself, but try to understand its motives; if it is not justified, simply ignore it;
always remember: negative emotions harm you first of all, so try to avoid them;
remember that you are also far from an “angel” and it is impossible to please everyone;
When you are provoked into conflict, think: is it necessary for you.

The ability to not give in to emotions is important not only in dialogue or communication. In crisis situations, it is important to control yourself, not to fall into despair, and to remain calm. The anticipation of punishment is worse than the punishment itself. A quick solution to the problem will help maintain health and nerves. Fear of some event or conversation will undermine you from the inside. Self-control is the ability to choose the right decision, discarding emotions, the ability to overcome fear, self-doubt, and demonstrate volitional efforts.

Try to live for today, solve current problems. Talking through the situation helps relieve stress and reduce emotional tension. By talking about your problems, you will free yourself from accumulated emotions and experiences. In such discussions, you can come to the right decision.

Controlling your emotions is not always useful; everything should be in moderation. Carefully hidden emotional experiences can lead to chronic fatigue syndrome, increased irritability, and alcoholism.

It is necessary to give vent to your feelings from time to time. Getting rid of accumulated negativity by screaming is not the best way. It is best to relieve such tension through physical exercise or positive emotions.

(8 Votes) 5 350 0 Hello! In this article we will talk about how to stay calm in different situations. Life is impossible without stress. They strengthen us, warn us of danger, activate or inhibit our actions, deplete us of strength and negatively affect our health. And everywhere we hear: “Don’t be nervous,” “Calm down,” or “Keep your composure!” No one doubts that this needs to be done. But how? When emotions take over the mind and prevent you from acting productively and enjoying life... The task is difficult, but doable. The methods and techniques given in the article will help you with the question of how to remain calm in any situation.

Why is it important not to be nervous?

Control over emotions and their cruel suppression– this is not the same thing.

Suppress (or repress) emotions after they have taken possession of a person’s body and consciousness. They are not splashed out, but stopped, hidden deep within themselves from the external environment. And this is not the best scenario, since the negative energy does not go away, but continues to poison the body, causing various health problems.
And here control over emotions associated with the initial desire not to fall under the power of stress, to be able to resist it. The impact of negative emotions is like a snowball. As soon as you get upset about something, this state instantly paralyzes your actions and begins to affect all areas of your life.

You've probably noticed more than once that if you're in a big hurry to get somewhere or are worried before an important event, then no other thoughts come to mind, everything literally falls out of your hands, you can't find the things you need, everything is annoying... And this negativity quickly accumulates and unsettles you. It is extremely difficult to act effectively in this situation. Moreover, a strong surge of adrenaline does not have the best effect on health. Here is the result.

Therefore, emotions can and should be controlled. Each of us has the power to do this. First you have to make an effort, then it will become a habit.

How to stay calm in stressful situations: express methods

If you are busy doing something and start to feel stressed, take a break and take a break from that activity for a while (or stop it altogether). It is necessary to restore psychological balance, otherwise tension may increase and with prolonged exposure to stress, the onset of a nervous breakdown becomes likely.
Do not rush to immediately share your experiences with friends and colleagues. First try to understand the situation yourself, analyze the causes of stress.
Voice to yourself all manifestations of nervousness at the body level, for example: “I feel like I’m blushing,” “My fingers are shaking,” “My heart is about to jump out of my chest,” etc. This is necessary in order to be able to control yourself into your hands and realize how tense you are.
Concentrate on your breathing. In a situation of stress, the production of the hormone adrenaline increases, which also affects breathing. Its rhythm is disrupted and it becomes intermittent. To re-establish it, use breathing techniques. The simplest thing is three deep breaths and exhalations. Such exercises can be performed both directly in a stressful situation, and in a calmer environment for relaxation. It is most effective to practice belly breathing.
Go to the window and look at the opening landscape. Pay attention to the smallest details. Enjoy something you haven't noticed before. It's good if you have the opportunity to take a walk in the fresh air. Enriching the brain with oxygen helps calm and relieve stress.
Controlling emotions requires, first of all, the ability to recognize and accept them. If you feel overly stressed or nervous, focus on your feelings and voice your feelings. The wording should reflect simultaneous recognition and separation from negative emotions: “I feel irritable” or “I feel anxious.”
Don’t stress yourself out, don’t let a tense situation expand to gigantic proportions. Stress needs to be taken under control while it is still in its infancy.
Use visualization techniques. For example, you can imagine how you pack your problem and the negativity associated with it into a box, send it to sea, and they will never return to you. Or if the experience of stress is associated with some person, then you can imagine him in an absurd, funny way, then it will be emotionally easier to communicate with him. Visualizing your equanimity also helps (for example, imagining yourself as a deep, vast ocean or a high fortress that is not threatened by anything).
Remember some famous character (hero of a book, movie) or a real person who, in your opinion, is the embodiment of calm and equanimity. How would he react to the situation that happened to you?

Self-confidence will help you stay calm

Work on your self-confidence and self-esteem. Confident people do not panic or get nervous over trifles. They know that they can cope with the situation, no matter how difficult it is. If you are satisfied with yourself and feel inner harmony, then there will be much more peace in your life.

An integrated approach is important. First of all, you need to like your own appearance. Look in the mirror more often, give yourself compliments, say encouraging phrases: “I look good,” “I like myself and others,” etc.
Think more often about your talents and abilities, about what you are good at doing. Don’t forget about your achievements; usually you remember a lot of them. It is especially useful to remember situations when you were able to successfully cope with difficulties and remain calm. It always adds confidence. Be sure to find time to do what you love, which gives you true pleasure and gives you energy.
Nothing disarms stress like your positive attitude.. The more positively charged you are, the less susceptible you are to various stressful situations. You immediately demonstrate that you are stronger than them. You need to have in your arsenal a list of life-affirming phrases that you like, help you stay calm and not get nervous. Say them regularly, charging yourself with confidence and positivity ( "Today is my day!" or “Every day I become more confident” and etc.)
Try to demonstrate external calm, even if everything is boiling inside. Straighten your shoulders, straighten your back, make your gait more measured, look up and try to eliminate fussy gestures. Control this image. Being aware of how you look will help you feel calmer and more confident internally.

How to learn calmness and equanimity

Irritability is quite often a consequence of overwork. Therefore, be sure to give yourself the opportunity to rest and get enough sleep. Dedicate your weekends to yourself, your family and your favorite activities, and not to work and many household chores.

Important! Lack of sleep in most cases leads to emotional disorders and disharmony. An exhausted body is under constant stress and is unable to fight it. And, on the contrary, sound healthy sleep helps to stay alert and calm.

The ability to plan and properly distribute your time helps to make life more measured and calm. It is necessary to prioritize tasks and complete important and urgent tasks first.
Punctual people are generally calmer than those who are constantly late.. If you do not belong to the first type, then you should improve the ability to always and everywhere be on time. Arrive early for a meeting or event.
The environment (at home, at work) should be cozy and help create a positive mood. Keep your surroundings tidy. Try not to clutter your space with many objects.

Important!The less unnecessary things surround you, the more freedom and harmony you will feel.

Listen to pleasant melodic music more often, to which you can relax. The ideal option would be classical compositions.
Yoga and meditation are also good ways to learn how to remain calm in stressful situations.
Try to control your habits. The less addiction there is in your life (from sweets, coffee, cigarettes, alcohol), the better you will be able to manage your own emotions and become calmer.
Pay more attention to others. Interest in people helps to distract from one’s complexes and obsessive thoughts and develop observation skills. Moreover, you can always learn from others how to behave in a given situation by analyzing their experience and noticing effective aspects of behavior.
If you have a quarrel or an unpleasant conversation with someone, try to switch your attention from your own negative emotions to the behavior of your interlocutor: watch his gestures, facial expressions, look at the flaws and wrinkles on his face. Imagine the stress he is experiencing. This method is good for maintaining calm in a conflict situation.
It can be helpful to ask important questions: What are my main goals? What am I doing to achieve them? What else do I need to do? Thinking about such questions and plans allows you to escape from vain thoughts and concentrate on the key moments of life.

It is important to feel like a hero of your time, to live in the present. You cannot carry the burden of past problems with you, and no fears about the future should stop you. You must believe that your strength is enough to overcome any difficulty and you will always be able to maintain inner integrity and calm.