Friendship.
The problem of friendship, true and false, the role of friendship in human life. What does true friendship mean?
As a child, I thought that my “adult life” would be in a different environment, I would be surrounded by completely different people, nothing would remain of the present. But in reality, my peers stayed with me. The friends of youth turned out to be the most faithful, always present. The circle of acquaintances has grown a lot, but real friends are old. True friends are made in youth.
How should you treat friends? What is true friendship for?
D.S. Likhachev. "Letters about the good and the beautiful."
What does it mean to be friends? What brings people together? On what basis do people choose their friends? What is true friendship? What's the difference between friends and buddies? What role does friendship play in a person's life?
M.Yu. Lermontov "Hero of Our Time"
Friendship plays an important role in a person’s life, because a friend is a person who will always be there, help in trouble, and share grief and joy. Life has repeatedly confronted Pechorin, the main character of the novel by M.Yu. Lermontov's "Hero of Our Time", with people who treated him in a friendly manner. From the novel we know about at least three such people. For example, Maxim Maksimych treated him like a son, Doctor Werner understood him perfectly, Grushnitsky shared his most intimate things and saw in him an example to follow. He could build strong friendships with each of these people. However, he refused to believe in friendship: he believed that in friendship one person is always the slave of another, and he did not want to be either a slave or a master. This attitude towards friendship made him a lonely person and did not allow him to be sincere with these people. His indifference made these people disappointed in him. If Pechorin had been open and appreciated those around him, then his fate could have turned out differently. Sometimes it is so important to hear friendly advice and feel supported. There was no such support in his life, so he died somewhere far away, completely alone.
Hello. Please help me figure it out. My friend Olya and I are 23 years old, both unmarried, working. We have known each other for several years; we started communicating more closely less than a year ago. Before that, she had no friends and she didn’t really communicate with anyone, as she herself says, at school she was considered stupid, a black sheep, at the university - arrogant, and at work she had to work, there was no time to communicate. Not a single friendship in 16 years of communication in the team! Not a single birthday invitation, not a single invitation to go out, nothing. She had only been interested in dancing for many years, but she didn’t find any friends there either; immediately after classes she got ready and ran home. By nature, a very vulnerable person, at any nonsense, a word that SEEMS like an attack on her, can be offended, even at the tone or look, suspicious to the point of horror. It always seems to her that everyone wants to humiliate her, offend her, but she doesn’t forget any grievances, real or imaginary, she can pretend that something didn’t hurt her, and then say something like that about 3 weeks later. I even heard from her about grievances from childhood not once. We walk past a mirror in a store and she constantly says, “I can’t look at myself,” even though she’s pretty. At the slightest trouble, she says that this can only happen to her, that she is never lucky, that probably nothing will work out (when planning a new business in her work), that they will probably refuse, disapprove, criticize, etc. But in fact, she is a very good specialist at her job, she has good prospects, and she knows this, she talks about it herself, but still, along with confidence, she constantly questions her undertakings, but goes towards her goal and makes grandiose plans , this is what I like about her) She grew up without a father, witnessed his aggression as a child, is very attached to her mother and listens to her advice unquestioningly. Her mother is a wise woman who always supports her, although I don’t know what’s going on in their family. It is not customary for them to give gifts on holidays, I was very surprised by the situation on New Year, when I simply gave her a small Christmas tree decoration from the bottom of my heart, I didn’t expect anything in return, I wanted to please her, but I only upset her, apparently by putting her in an awkward position. She even then offered to pay for me to go to the cinema, and this is generally wild for me, because this gift did not imply that I needed anything from her. I invited her to my birthday, she spent a long time trying to find out who else would be there, if there were people she didn’t know there, I think she probably wouldn’t have gone. With friends she is cheerful, sociable, interesting, but among strangers she is closed and silent. In general, she doesn’t let anyone close to her, she’s afraid of anger, envy, condemnation, she says that life constantly hits her, hard and often, although nothing seems to happen. We became close only because I am the only one from the team who helps her in her work, because... I’m also very interested in this, I always support her, she consults with me. And it’s interesting and calm to communicate, there are many common topics, she a kind person, our views on many things coincide. In fact, not everything is as terrible as I describe, all the negativity that she says, she says in a veiled way, people don’t even realize about her low self-esteem, but with constant communication it is noticeable. I always say that she is smart, and beautiful, and interesting, she seems to nod, and in her eyes you can read “are you sure this is about me??” And now the question is... is friendship even possible on her part? After all, she has never been friends with anyone, she doesn’t know HOW... it happens, she says something without thinking, which really offends me. He is constantly late when we agree to meet, by at least 15-20 minutes, and can cancel the meeting at the last moment because he is “not in the mood”... by my standards, this is disrespect. And it’s disrespectful to give a birthday gift in a wrinkled package with a price tag)) Although she says that I am a very close person to her, I doubt that she is capable of sincere friendship, which is why I wrote you such a long letter. How can you check her attitude? I know that she trusts me and values this friendship, but I’m afraid that any of my success will cause envy on her part, isn’t this how it is with people with low self-esteem? She told me more than once that she envies those who are married, who are successful at work, etc. So, if I get married first, the friendship will end? How can a person do something he has never been able to do? After all, everyone can’t be bad, so the problem is her, that’s why she had no friends?
In the Moscow studio of our TV channel is priest Alexander Terpugov, an employee of the Synodal Department for interaction with the Armed Forces and Law Enforcement Agencies.
Today's theme is friendship. What is friendship, how does it differ from friendly relationships, acquaintance relationships, partnerships?
In my opinion, friendly relations, and especially acquaintance, are some kind of superficial, just nascent relationships. Of course, both acquaintance and friendship can develop into friendship. Or they may not outgrow it. But, in my opinion, friendship is a kind of unity, unity in views, tastes, judgments. And of course, at the head of everything is faith.
- What does the Holy Scripture say about friendship?
When I was preparing for the broadcast, I read it, and it turned out that the word “friend” and its derivatives are repeated 116 times in the Bible. These references indirectly contain criteria for friendship. This is especially clear in parables. The seventeenth parable: “a friend loves at all times,” that is, to paraphrase, love does not exist in time, it does not cease. One can draw parallels here with the First Epistle to the Corinthians of St. Apostle Paul, which speaks about love. This is the main thing, it probably all comes down to it. A friend is more attached than a brother, a friend is even more faithful to a person than a relative by blood. “A friend is sweet to every friend with heartfelt advice,” that is, mercy and help to a friend are obligatory here. “Having a friend, he will come to him at midnight” - you can come to a friend at any time, and he will not kick you out. That is, this is a complex relationship, especially with our modern life. The bar for friendship is so high. That's why you probably rarely see them now true friendship. Of course, the most striking example here is the Gospel of John, chapter 15, verse 13: “Greater love has no one than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”
- Here it is “for friends” - not for brothers, not for relatives.
Yes exactly. Probably, friendship is tested precisely in some extreme situations. And it’s not for nothing that our wise people say: you need to eat a pound of salt together to understand what another person is like.
- Friend is known in trouble.
-Have you ever had similar situations when friendship was tested?
Yes they were. One of them left a very vivid impression. I didn't even expect such self-sacrifice. About thirty years ago I was a professional sailor. We unloaded onto an unequipped shore. It was somewhere in the north (either on the Ob, or somewhere else). It turned out that our all-terrain vehicle sat on its belly. You probably know that in the north, when it’s cold, there is such a thing as sludge - when snow floats in the water. Our all-terrain vehicle sat on this “cushion”, so we could neither go to the ship nor return back. I was the eldest. He took a hook and crawled through this quagmire to the shore to call people and bring a cable. And suddenly my friend, friend Andryusha, followed me. It was easier for me because I had a gaff. By placing it on this slush, it was possible to somehow hold on. So he and I crawled, falling through, I tried to force him to return to the all-terrain vehicle, but he said: no, you can’t do it alone. I really appreciated it and am praying for him. True, it so happened that our paths diverged. I don't know where he is now, but I pray for him constantly.
The second time I was struck by such self-sacrifice of people was when I served as a military chaplain in the Caucasus. One battalion commander told how, as a young lieutenant and platoon commander in the first Chechen war, he pulled out wounded soldiers and carried them through a minefield. Of course, this was the highest manifestation of love. As this now lieutenant colonel said (he was several years ago, now, perhaps, he is already a colonel), he did not think that he would die, that there might be an explosion. He carried seven soldiers. The Lord showed him a miracle: when he transferred the last one, seven explosions were heard simultaneously. He had such a strengthening of faith! And at the same time, I was struck by the self-sacrifice that he showed. Nowadays this is quite rare, because times are recent, people are weak.
- Is every person capable of friendship, or are there some qualities that are incompatible with friendship?
Probably everyone, provided that he knows you and in any case tries to show love. After all, it turns out that friendship is a manifestation of love, and necessarily sacrificial love. The Lord blessed the Apostle Paul to write that love is long-suffering, merciful, does not envy, does not boast, is not proud, does not act outrageously, and does not seek its own, that is, its own self-interest. In this case, of course, the main obstacle to friendship is, most likely, the search for self-interest when a person is looking for his own. Sometimes it happens that a person looks like ivy. There is a plant in the south that wraps around a tree. It grows nearby, feeds from it, holds on, hangs on it and ultimately destroys the tree. Probably, if we still show true love, then we will succeed if we pray and ask the Lord to strengthen us.
- Is obsession compatible with friendship?
Obsession is one of the manifestations of one’s own self-interest. Obsession is a desire, perhaps, for communication. But on the other hand, that friend towards whom obsessiveness is manifested probably also has to be patient. Here there is a mutual movement towards each other. If a person tries to be a real Christian (you can’t do without this, without Christian qualities), then the friendship will be good.
- Obsession looks like a desire to communicate, a desire to be friends.
The sectarians have this expression: bombard with love. When a person communicates to such an extent that he simply exhausts his interlocutor. Of course this is wrong. You need to understand: you never know if you want to communicate, try to give the person a rest, think about him. Probably then everything will work out.
- Blind friendship, like blind love, does not lead to anything good.
What do you mean by blind friendship?
When a person is friends and wants to communicate with a person, regardless of whether that person likes him or not, whether that person wants it or not.
This is, of course, not friendship. After some time, such communication will fade away, because one person will run from the other. But I think this can also be overcome. At the moment, I have no one closer to you, which means I am called to love you. And if you love, it means again to be patient, to be merciful, not to be irritated, not to be outrageous. That is, all these criteria are suitable.
Then “be patient” with the next question. There is an expression: “Plato is my friend, but the truth is dearer.” Is friendship possible between people with different beliefs?
To what extent are different beliefs fundamental? There are cardinal ones. Let's say that friendship between an atheist and a believer is probably possible if they tolerate each other and do not touch on these topics. But still, friendship, in my opinion, necessarily implies some kind of unity, people look in the same direction.
Suppose, if disputes arise between people, are conflicts the norm for friendship, or if there is a conflict, does this mean that the friendship is not strong and does not exist?
Between friends, of course, there are some disagreements, there are grievances and misunderstandings. But we need to sit down and discuss them. This time. And secondly, if there is a conflict, then you probably need to get away from it, because everything again comes down to the same thing. You need to be patient, because patience is the most important thing. That is, it is a mutual process in which everyone improves themselves. And then everything will be exactly as it should be.
- If a person experiences negative influence from his buddy or friend, should he continue the friendship?
What do you have in mind?
Maybe a friendship began at school, and after school one of the friends began to go to church and realized that there was a difference in views, tastes, and even began to experience some kind of negative influence from his friend.
Yes, I understood the question. You know, every believer (at least in my example) experiences some kind of re-evaluation, revision in the perception of friends and those with whom he will communicate in the future. After all, as soon as a person comes to faith, he tries to be not of this world. And since he is not of this world, he begins to irritate down-to-earth, worldly people - by trying to be better, trying to put up, love, give alms, forgive. Of course it's annoying. For example, my environment changed a lot after I became a believer. But I don’t think it’s bad, because I feel better, more comfortable with those people...
It's not even about comfort. You can communicate if you see that it will benefit the person. Let’s say, if you can help a non-believer with something, then it’s probably worth being friends. But if you see that this is useless or you are simply not ready to bear the cross at the moment (after all, it is a difficult cross to communicate with a person who does not understand you, perhaps constantly mocks you, not with words, but with facial expressions trying to somehow pinch or bite ), - this is no longer friendship, because there is no love here. Exaltation and arrogance begin, because a person considers himself better, and if he is better, then friendship will no longer work. This is the road towards each other.
Is compassionate friendship possible? Let's say a lonely person has no friends, and another begins to be friends with him, not because they have common views or some guidelines, but simply because he wants to help this person not to be alone. Is this friendship or not?
Of course, this can probably grow into friendship because the person sacrifices himself. Love, if it is sacrificial, is, of course, positive. Recently a brother said that it is very similar to family relationships. In fact, this is exactly the case. Friendship is like family relationships without family relationships. Otherwise the criteria are the same.
- That is, healthy family relationships are born and grow precisely from friendship?
- Is friendship possible between a woman and a man?
Among the saints it is probably possible. But, unfortunately, I don’t think that given our current fallen spiritual state, this is possible for others; it’s unlikely that confessors bless such friendship. In any case, it’s a rare person who can be friends without showing any excesses, so to speak.
- What is considered excess?
Friendship, unfortunately, can develop into some kind of infatuation with a person. Both men and women can be susceptible to this. The friendship will end. It can even be harmful. If a person suddenly felt that his interlocutor, friend, classmate or classmate was becoming closer, then perhaps this is obviously wrong if, in legal terms, he has some kind of responsibility to third parties. Then it is better to end such a relationship so as not to be tempted.
- And if there is no such responsibility, perhaps this friendship can develop into another feeling...
Most likely she will outgrow it. Therefore, I am quite skeptical about friendship between a man and a woman.
- There is an expression: “Tell me who your friend is, and I will tell you who you are.” Is it always fair?
Yes, of course, because the Scripture says: if you are with the venerable, the venerable, you will be chosen with the chosen one. Well, with the obstinate you will be corrupted. This has already been said many thousands of years before us, so everything remains valid.
To become a reverend with reverends, one should strive for such communication, for such friendship. But if the reverends do not want to communicate with such a person, what should they do?
The reverends want it. St. Seraphim of Sarov said: “My joy!” - this means that he loved all people so much that even in a greeting he showed this love, which covered everything.
- Such friendship changes a person.
Of course, it changes and settles it. When there is love, it does not have any gender characteristics; it can be for an old man, or for a child, or for a grandmother or grandfather, or for a brother or a sister, and this does not necessarily mean family relationships. It's the same feeling. But some nuances are added, for example, family life. True, now the word “love” has been vulgarized, but in fact it is a feeling that never ceases, as the Lord said through the Apostle Paul.
- Is friendship possible between people of different nationalities and different mentalities?
I think it's possible. The Cossacks have a very good tradition. Let’s say they took kunaks, that is, close friends, brothers-in-arms from Islam (this was the case in the Caucasus), and quite strong relationships arose. If a person has the same criteria as you, regardless of whether the person is Orthodox, he can be of the same moral purity as an Orthodox, and maybe even higher. This happens. There are quite a lot of churches in our parish, and one of them has an Uzbek guard. He is a very decent person, you can trust him with everything. Plus, he shows such miracles of love and thoroughness, hard work that you are simply surprised and happy looking at such people.
- Are living conditions in a modern metropolis conducive to friendship?
Why do Muscovites often get bad reviews? Because life is very busy and fleeting, people spend a lot of time on transport and therefore get very tired. In order to somehow preserve their own “I,” they try to communicate less and show some restraint. This is especially noticed by people who live in the provinces. They are more open there. In fact, the Lord invites us to turn to Him in prayer in all difficulties. When we communicate with God, everything goes quickly for us, and we also recover. This does not mean that we should not waste. On the contrary, we must give our love to everyone who needs it, and the Lord will reward us a hundredfold - both love, and the time we spent on a person, and our efforts, and material resources as well. He will reward everything, because He is waiting for us and loves us very much. Not a single parent, not a single mother loves her child as much as the Lord loves us.
Does the comfort of modern life contribute to friendship, or is it promoted by extreme, difficult living conditions?
I spent most of my life in the Far North. It so happened that I was a sailor all my youth and spent it in the North. All the hardships we experienced there purified our friendship. A bad person is immediately visible there. He is forced to change. This applies to combat operations, war, and some extreme types labor activity. They are all the same, and the person becomes better there. He is forced to accept the conditions (this is mutual assistance, help, mercy), regardless of the costs of wasting himself. This is inevitable, because one cannot survive in those conditions, which is why people there seem better at first glance. But in reality... If you look in the East, people are good. There are good ones in the North too. It doesn’t seem like much in the South, but if you go into the temple, you will see the same familiar eyes as in the North, South and East. Everywhere.
- Does the spread of social networks contribute to true friendship?
In my opinion, this pastime is now big business for those who invent it all. This is an attempt at replacement. Firstly, you can register there under someone else's name. You can create yourself and do whatever you want. This implies that the responsibility is not the same as in direct communication. Therefore, there is practically no communication. Young people are hooked on it like a drug, but I don’t think there is anything good here. Although my confessor maintains a blog and is present in in social networks. I'm not ready for this. I'm not on social networks.
That is, an effect arises: people create facades for themselves and communicate not with their souls, but with these artificial facades?
Yes exactly. This is a kind of sign that a person either comes up with for himself or wants to look like that. But in reality it can be completely different. We often see the consequences of such communication on social networks; they appear in crime reports and result in many troubles.
- Is it healthy for a person to have no friends at all?
If a person has very high criteria, then probably...What does friend mean? Mostly, of course, people make friends in their youth, because a person himself is more open, less cautious, and has less negative experience of getting into unpleasant situations. Accordingly, he begins to make friends with pleasure, openly, sincerely, and then whether it works out or not. That's why we love our childhood friends very much. True, when you come across them many years later, it turns out that you love the memory, and not the person himself, because he has already changed a lot. This is some kind of illusion.
- Is friendship possible based on vicious hobbies?
Of course it's possible. Probably possible. But what does friendship mean? Friendship means love. Most likely, such a relationship cannot be called friendship; it could be some kind of community of people, a criminal duo, a trio or a quartet. But of course there is no friendship here, because there is no love. There are coinciding interests. But there is no love. And the main criterion, as it is written in Scripture (you and I didn’t say this), is necessarily love.
How to experience friendship - is it real or not? In addition to “pushing a guy to the mountains, taking a risk,” what other ways are there to check whether this is not an illusion, whether it is an attachment under which there is no love and friendship?
Unfortunately, in order to quickly check, you probably need to go into the mountains or underground.
- Or to the North.
Or to the North! Or fall into one trench. In other words, you probably need to eat a pound of salt. Can you imagine sixteen kilograms of salt? You can calculate how many years you need to be friends in order to understand what a person is like.
- Under a peck of salt, probably This also means the bitterness of life, that is, to sip bitterness together; maybe salt is here in a figurative sense, not only as a product, but as the bitterness of losses experienced together?
- Isn't pity a humiliating feeling?
Now the word “pity,” of course, has lost its ancient meaning of “love,” but it still probably has that connotation. Pity is still compassion, and since compassion, then love. It may not be fully love, but it will already be a positive feeling.
- So in ancient times pity was understood as compassion?
To regret is to love.
- And now pity has a connotation of disdain; to feel sorry is to show condescension.
Yes, there are probably many words now that have lost their original meaning and acquired a different connotation. But again, if you love, you don’t become arrogant. If you love, it means you are open; there can be no exaltation in a loving person.
- They even say that pity seems to humiliate a person. “Don’t feel sorry for me!» …
No, most likely, this is some kind of pride - “don’t touch me.” Perhaps then we can understand Judas, who hanged himself. He did not go to ask the Lord for forgiveness. He didn’t want any pity, he thought that what he did was wrong, and since he did it wrong, he disposed of it himself and hanged himself.
- The sin of Judas is betrayal. Is friendship possible after betrayal?
What do you mean by betrayal? Everything, of course, depends on the action. Remember when Peter asked the Lord: “How many times should I forgive? Three, five? - The Lord said: “Seventy-seven times seven.” That is, forgive forever. If a person came, if he repented, then you are obliged to forgive.
- What if you don’t repent?
And if you haven’t repented, then what kind of forgiveness? we're talking about? Why forgive him then? You shouldn't hold a grudge. If, for example, a person does not repent of what he has done, will you go and tell him: “I forgive you”? In general, yes, so that you don’t hold a grudge against him. You see, you need to watch. The Lord says: “It was from Me.” Remember this spiritual instruction of Seraphim Vyritsky?
- Remind please.
- “It was from Me” - no matter what happens to us, everything happens one way or another from God. And if such a situation arises, let’s say in friendship, it means that the Lord is testing you once again: can you endure and forgive? Therefore, of course, we must forgive.
- They say that not everyone and not always needs to be forgiven.
No, the Lord said that blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is not forgiven. And the rest... There are many beautiful subtleties here: they say, I personally forgive my enemy, but not the enemy of the Fatherland. I think that we need to try to live according to the commandments, to fully imitate Christ. Even if something happened, pray for the person and ask: “Lord, don’t blame him, he doesn’t know what he’s doing.”
- There is a modern word “tolerance”. What is this translated into Russian - friendship, understanding?
Most likely, this is a kind of tolerance, but in Lately this word is used in combination with “tolerance” - tolerance of other faiths. But let’s say I don’t like this word.
- It is non-Russian, unusual for the Russian language.
The point is that you need to try to see the image of God in a person. For us Muscovites, there is a serious irritant - everyone notices that there are a lot of visitors here who are different from us (in hair color, in their behavior). We need to learn to be more tolerant. Because the whole reason is that our wives do not give birth to as many children as theirs. My abbot darkly jokes that Islam is our future. At current situation affairs and attitude towards abortion of the majority of our people, of course, Islam is our future.
- Yes, it's sad…
Plus, they also need to be treated with love, because, firstly, they are the same children of God, the Lord loves them in the same way. In addition, if they convert to Orthodoxy, they are sometimes killed among themselves for this. What if you and I are not Christians, and they immediately receive the crown of martyrdom? We probably need to think about this more often - and then, perhaps, our attitude towards them will change.
- Is it normal if a person has enemies (even though the person tries to love and forgive everyone)?
Probably ok. After all, the person is alive. We live in a world where there is anger. It is clear that she is from the devil, but she exists. And since there is anger, it means there are enemies who hate.
I was on the subway now. The young man, most likely a representative of the Orthodox, spat to the side at the sight of the priest. In Israel I saw this often. True, I must say, I was surprised here: I saw this for the first time. Maybe he is a student or from a family like that...
- Orthodox.
Yes, Jewish Orthodox.
If a person is friends with someone and tries to do something for his friend, but does not receive reciprocity, is this normal? How should he react? Should we even seek reciprocity in friendship?
Everything again depends on how much you carry your cross, endure and try... You see, love is sacrificial. That's right - this is when you try to help a person without hoping for reciprocity. Then everything is as it should be, because we should not expect any rewards. On the contrary, if we do not receive a reward on earth, then our reward is in heaven, which is much more valuable and very important for us in the future.
- One more question at the end of our program: what is the most important thing in friendship?
In a word, love. Sacrificial love. If she is sacrificial, then everything is fine.
Presenter Denis Beresnev
Recorded by Margarita Popova
Here, Lyubov Mikhailovna, is my last essay in the VIP section, please take a look.
1) It happened on May 28. (2) After school, Sanka Bolshakov and I went to the river. (3) There, near a huge boulder that looked like the petrified mummy of a giant lizard, a ritual was performed. (4) I scratched the skin on my wrist, Sanka did the same. (5) We touched our bleeding forearms to each other and said loudly: “You are my brother.” (6) This is how Sanka Bolshakov and I became blood brothers.
(7) The following spring I lured all my classmates to look for the Sarmatian treasures. (8) I read about the Sarmatians in some history book. (9) Since many centuries ago they roamed somewhere in our area, I reasonably assumed that, in order not to drag around with their goods, they could have buried some of their rich booty somewhere near our village. (10) My story interested all the boys, and we, armed with hope and shovels, went together to look for the treasure. (11) But the path to the hills was blocked by a river. (12) Huge ice floes towered on the shores, like storm-tossed ships, and the water was unbearably cold. (13) All my friends somehow overcame the river, but I didn’t have the courage. (14) They encouraged me, persuaded me, laughed, shouted, intimidated me that they would find the treasure and would not share it with me, but this test was beyond my strength. (15) Then Bolshakov came back for me, put me on his shoulders and, falling into the cold mud up to his chest, wheezing from the effort, crossed to the other bank.
- (16) Big one, why are you dragging him around? (17) Is he disabled? - his classmates attacked him.
- (18) We are brothers by blood! - he answered.
(19) Twenty-four years have passed. (20) I was in a hurry to attend our director’s anniversary. (21) Behind the bridge I saw a broken “five”. (22) I slowed down slightly to understand how it was possible on a level
place to get into an accident. (23) I saw the driver squatting near the crumpled wing. (24) For some reason, I immediately recognized Bolshakov, although I had not seen him since school.
- (25) Sanya, hello! (26) How did you fly in?
- (27) God probably sent you! (28) So you can help me! (29) Some granny with bundles jumped out right in front of my nose. (30) I had to taxi into the obstacle. (31) Will you carry it?
(32) I shook my head.
- (33) Sanya, I can’t! (34) The towing hook in my car is broken - I can’t tow it. (35) So don’t blame me...
- (36) Nothing! (37) I’ll call my friend and he’ll drive him away. (38) How are you?
- (39) Yes, I’m spinning, I don’t see the light. (40) Sorry, I'm late.
- (41) See you again!
- (42) Good luck!
(43) I rushed to the festive evening. (44) Returning home, wrapping myself in a blanket, I once again remembered my meeting with Bolshakov. (45) My memory took me back to childhood, to the bank of a river, to a gray mossy boulder. (46) While performing the ritual, I was afraid of hurting my hand, so I lightly scratched the skin, and the wound soon healed. (47) But Bolshakov did not spare his hand, and a long crimson scar remained on his forearm.
(48) The wind was blowing outside, the snow rustled sadly on the windows, and this quiet sound was like the faint whisper of some memory forever fading into oblivion.
(According to E. A. Laptev)
Is everyone capable of true friendship? This is the question that is in the center of attention of E. A. Laptev
Reflecting on this problem, the author argues that few people know how to truly be friends. The writer cites an episode from the life of two boys who agreed to be “blood brothers.” E. A. Laptev focuses on the fact that of the two boys, only Sanka turned out to be a faithful comrade, carrying the cowardly hero on himself through the cold water. The author condemns the grown-up narrator, who comes up with a ridiculous reason: “the towing hook in my car is broken” in order to refuse to help a friend and quickly leave for a festive evening. Only one of the two comrades skillfully plays the role of a true friend.
The position of E. A. Laptev is simple to define: the ability to be a faithful and devoted comrade is not given to each of us.
I share the writer's point of view. Indeed, you need to have high moral qualities, enormous willpower and desire to become a true and understanding friend. All these traits are very rarely combined in one person, but if this happens, then the result is a faithful comrade. There are many examples in the literature that support this idea.
I remember the heroes of the novel “War and Peace” by L.N. Tolstoy. Pierre Bezukhov and Andrei Bolkonsky are true friends. Pierre, who is quite frivolous and irresponsible in his youth, nevertheless initially has a broad and kind soul. Andrey is a strict and responsible person, with high moral principles. These people know how to truly be friends.
In the novel “The Captain's Daughter” by A. S. Pushkin, Grinev is a straightforward, open and honest person who knows how to make friends. Shvabrin is a liar and a scoundrel who is ready to achieve his goal in the dirtiest ways. He betrays friendship out of jealousy and gloating and tries to kill Grinev. Grinev is a true comrade, but Shvabrin does not know how to be friends.
Thus, only a person endowed with responsibility and loyalty by nature is capable of true friendship.
