All girls, at any age and status, dream of being loved and remaining an ideal companion for many years. Sooner or later, everyone wonders how to keep a man and not let him leave. If such thoughts arise subconsciously, it means that the relationship is going downhill and needs to be saved or revived.
Love does not arise spontaneously, real deep feelings need to be worked on for a long time, mutual understanding and support for each other is the best thing that brings people together spiritually and arouses mutual interest on both sides.
Momentary sympathy and love disappear without a trace, but true love can live in the heart forever and cannot just disappear.
Girls often ask more experienced friends how to keep the guy they are in love with and how to win his attention.
However, experience shows that when meeting, it is important not only to like each other outwardly, but also to feel spiritual closeness and pay attention to similar interests and outlooks on life.
Avoid relationships with “fickle” men
To create strong marriage and not ask questions about how to keep your husband in the family for more mature age, it is necessary to choose the right men for communication and relationships.
People who are incapable of permanent and long-term relationships rarely end up good husbands able to pay attention to family and loved ones.
If a guy disappears after a couple of dates and is not committed to permanence, you need to think about whether this is your man? Is it worth returning him or can he seek his happiness with another more reliable and stable person.
It happens that windy and wandering guys become more domestic and ready for family life already at a more mature age, but are you ready to wait for his psychological maturity?
Give your loved one the relationship he needs
Every guy already knows exactly what he wants to get from this relationship when he meets a girl. And meeting his expectations gives the girl a much greater chance of a long and pleasant relationship.
A person can be held if you provide him with one hundred percent comfort and psychological coziness.
If a man is looking for support in a woman, he wants to see moral support nearby in any situation, acceptance of his decisions and understanding of his feelings.
Disagreement and criticism are often off-putting and have a negative impact on relationships. Constant quarrels and resentments indicate that there is no understanding and internal contact between people.
Personal space and own interests
Personal development occurs not so much in society and family, but in solitude and loneliness.
Complete freedom of choice- that beautiful and meaningful thing that truly loving people can give each other. Restrictions and prohibitions destroy a person’s balance and desire to be close to someone who creates a taboo. Love does not manifest itself in constantly being nearby or forcing you to fulfill certain demands of your other half.
The desire to attach oneself to oneself does not actually speak of love, but of low self-esteem on the part of the girl. If a woman has her own hobbies, hobbies and interests, she will understand her lover and will gladly share his desire to achieve his goals not only in work.
What else will help keep a man?
No manipulation with children!
Manipulation of children and dissatisfaction with relationships with men are issues that are acute in many families. It is very difficult for a child to grow up and mature in an atmosphere where parents cannot share love and find a common language.
Is it possible to keep a man as a child?
The answer to this sensitive question depends on the individual man. First of all, the woman with whom you live is important.
And if it causes negative and unpleasant feelings, the child only becomes an obstacle to the true happiness of both. In such a family, all three are often unhappy, because... feelings and misunderstandings cannot be hidden. In this case, it is important to show wisdom and maintain friendly relations between all participants.
Happiness exists where there is understanding and open care that comes from the heart, and not through coercion. Children are very sensitive and in any case feel the internal atmosphere between their parents.
Be able to truly love in spite of everything
Everyone feels sincere love and openness intuitively even at a distance. Every guy deep down realizes how much his other half is in love with him, this is what is very much appreciated by men.
What needs to be loved is not his money or status, character traits or appearance, but what is unique that is hidden inside. Despite his failures or victories.
Love does not presuppose a career or high achievements; it is important to feel that there is a man nearby, a strong and reliable shoulder!
You've been living together for five years, but still won't invite you to get married? Or is he married and can’t decide to leave his old/sick wife? And if everything is not so critical, the relationship has simply cooled down, and you want to revive the marriage? Many women in such different situations find the same solution - to give birth to a child. It is common to think that men are ready to move mountains for the sake of their children, they cannot live even a day without them, and, therefore, they will not abandon you. But often such girls soon regret their decision and remain single mothers. Is it still possible to hold a man with the help of a child?
Three scenarios - three destinies
Psychologists have long classified the possible behavior patterns of men who are trying to be restrained with the help of a child. We will remind you of them using examples of three different life stories.
Scenario 1: I'm not stupid!
Sveta had been dating him for three years, the feelings were strong, after all, school love. But the guy remained too independent and didn’t even think about the registry office. The girl was already tired of questions about when the wedding was. She decided to push the man to take a decisive step. And she succeeded, but this step turned out to be very unexpected.
She got pregnant secretly from him and stopped drinking birth control pills. When she announced the pregnancy, he was furious. “I'm not a fool! You don’t need to decide for me when I become a father and husband!” - with these words he collected his things. Resentment did not allow him to return even when his daughter was born. He pays child support, but has only seen the baby a couple of times.
Scenario 2: I will leave my wife
This is such a common promise that for some reason the mistresses of married men believe in it. The wife is old, sick, nags and only demands money? But why then does he return to her every day, why does he spend weekends with her and the children, buy a new house and renovate it, and go on vacation? Because she loves her family and will never leave her, and having a young passion on the side is the consequences of a midlife crisis. She's just a pretty toy, he doesn't take her seriously.
“Well, she’ll definitely leave her family for the sake of the baby,” thought Victoria, a 20-year-old student who was madly in love with her “married man.” But her parents met her from the maternity hospital, her son's father married man he never did, he only helps financially and no longer promises to leave his wife. The conclusion is this: if a man wants to get a divorce, then he will do it without a child, and if not, he will not abandon his “nest” with his beloved chicks.
Scenario 3: Endure and fall in love
“Yes, the child is no joke, I will not abandon my blood, somehow he will endure it and fall in love,” Victor thought when he found out that the unloved girl was expecting a child. They had already broken up when she told him about her pregnancy. Her plan worked! The indifferent guy instantly turned into a caring future dad. But it didn't last long. He did not abandon his family, his conscience did not allow him, but he did not become a great husband either. While his wife was with the baby, he went to bars, first with friends, and then with girls. They still live like that, he loves his son, and his wife is an empty place for him. She herself would be glad to get a divorce, but he said that he would not give her the child.
Dad reluctantly
So, most likely, the man will not stay with you just for the sake of the child, he did not want a baby, did not plan to build a family with you, and is not ready to become a father. But if the relationship was “about the matter”, then the birth of a child is like a catalyst; this situation will immediately give the man away, show his real attitude towards you. There is love - then he will not be afraid, but only if you did not try to deceive him. Men are freedom-loving and polygamous by nature; it is not easy for them to say goodbye to single life. But if his intentions are serious, he simply lacks the courage, then the birth of a child is too radical a step to push him to decisive action.
Even good and loving husband not always able to become an ideal father. What kind of dad do you dream of for your child? Caring, loving, reliable, the one whose eyes will sparkle with tears the first time he meets his baby? Then you shouldn’t make a man a “reluctant dad”; the decision to have a child should be made only together. A baby is not a bargaining chip, it is new life, a defenseless person who needs the most sincere love. A family should not be created with the birth of a child; the baby should be born in a strong family.
So, is it possible to keep a man with the help of children? It is possible, but only if your man is conscientious and decent. But he won’t love you again because of the baby, be honest with yourself. And is it worth thinking about procreation if your relationship with a potential father has exhausted itself? Do you need such a family, and wouldn’t such an act be meanness towards the little one?
Do you think it is possible to keep a man by having a child, would you do this, and is there a future for such a family?
One way or another, the psychologist’s advice: is it possible to keep a husband with a child, will first consider what exactly we mean when we say “keep a husband with a child.” After all, situations are different, and we cannot judge everyone in the same way. After all, there have been cases when a girl, in order to keep a guy by fair or dishonest means, became pregnant. It turns out that the guy should marry her... Or the case when they were already married and there was a big risk of divorce, then the woman decides to manipulate her husband, involves him in her game, playing on his moral values and decides that her husband will not leave her because , that his sense of duty, moral values and conscience will not allow him.
But even in this case, there is still a risk that your husband may leave you for someone else, get a divorce and pay alimony to his unborn child. It all depends on the person, how devoted he is to traditions and beliefs, how strong-willed and kind his character is. If you still manage to keep your husband in this case, think about the situation itself and its consequences. Imagine that you finally managed to do this.
Firstly, the act itself is already immoral; you manipulate a person, play on his feelings and emotions and ruin his life. After all, if you want to keep your husband, you already have similar plans and thoughts, this means that you feel that he has lost his love and feelings for you, perhaps the person wants to get a divorce and leave, and has found another partner in his life. This happens: people don’t have the same personalities, they make mistakes when choosing a partner, or an unplanned pregnancy happens, the partners were not ready for this, and true love there is no difference between them, and cannot exist. Your husband may also want to leave you because constant quarrels and conflicts, and simply from the lack of love. In such cases, you just need to let the person go without holding him. Think for yourself how it will be better even for you: if your husband wants to leave because of incompatibility of characters, constant quarrels, can you endure this all your life, come to terms with it? How will such arguments affect you, and will you be able to live with the person you are “keeping”? Will you accept the fact that this person does not love you, that he is not for you, and stayed with you only for the sake of raising a child, as a duty?
Secondly, think about your husband. If you can restrain him, you yourself understand that you are interfering with the natural order of substances, and that you are acting against his wishes. If you love him and want to keep him, because you are so attached to him that you can’t imagine your life without him, don’t be so selfish, because true love is the desire for your loved one to be happy, healthy, loved, everything was fine with him. Love is not only a feeling that means burning with passion for a certain object, wanting to live with it all your life. It's much more than that. And if you really love your husband, you must let him go. There are many other wonderful men in the world who will not make you suffer, who will really love you, and who will not have to be kept close to you. Such a person will want to keep you, will take care of you and will stay with you all his life.
Third: think about your future child. A husband's love for a child depends on how much he loves his mother. If he doesn't have any feelings for her, the likelihood that he will adore your child is low. Moreover, the husband will remain in the family with the child not out of love for him, but because of the obligation to raise him and his own internal duty to himself. Even if he loves your child, he will not be raised accordingly. After all, psychologists have long proven that a child should grow up in love, and also be brought up in a family where mom and dad live in complete harmony with each other. Following their example, he learns to act when he grows up, forms his consciousness and attitude, develops character and prejudices. A child who grows up in a dysfunctional family, and also witnesses the father’s mistreatment of the mother, the lack of their love, will not grow up mentally stable. There is a high probability that he will begin to develop mental disorders, neuroses and stress, and in the future, he will do the same. Do you want to expose your child to this risk? Will you sacrifice him in order to keep your husband?
If you plan to keep him as a child, after many years of marriage, think about whether this is the solution? Is this the right decision, are you ready to use your unborn child for such purposes? And the very desire to keep your husband already speaks of obvious problems in the relationship that should be solved in a completely different way.
First, understand the reasons why your husband wants to leave, what are the secondary reasons that could push him to such an act? What mistakes and shortcomings appeared in your relationship in Lately and what led to this? Try to find shortcomings in yourself and correct them, ask what you did wrong, maybe sometimes you should forget about your pride and principles, ask for forgiveness, because when a person is loved, it is not worth much work. In the case when your relationship is exhausting itself, the days become gray - think carefully about how you can revive them, what to do in order to correct this situation. Sometimes you should even just wait. If the relationship is full of conflicts, avoid them and try to resolve them.
Let's imagine for a moment a situation in which a young girl becomes pregnant by her lover at the moment when their relationship is coming to an end. The girl, naturally, is very upset, because her ex-boyfriend, having learned about the unborn child, reacted coldly and even hinted at an abortion. The young lady is confused, she really wants her child, the financial history is favorable, there is an opportunity to raise the baby alone, but love for the child is predetermined, because he is from the same bastard who abandoned his mother at the most important moment in her life.
Have you presented the plot? Surely you are reading this article because the plot is very similar to yours. What to do? How to get your loved one back? Is it possible to return it at all? And is it worth it?
Is it worth using a child: pros
I don’t argue, you can try to put pressure on your chosen one, motivating him with various factors, such as: responsibility, masculinity, family, the child should have a father, etc. Undoubtedly, many men, after thinking it over, return, but only because shades of love for your person still remain, which means love can be restored.
Yes, sometimes it happens that a child increases their attraction to you, especially if your loved one is influenced by relatives (if your boyfriend is sanguine or phlegmatic). Having a baby changes a lot of guys. They grow up before our eyes, their thinking changes radically.
Let's leave out a good plot; it can happen in ten cases out of a hundred. In fact, not everything is so simple and easy.
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What could be the disadvantages?
Firstly, I would not advise you to use a child as a motivation to return your loved one. Believe me, it looks too ridiculous and shows, first of all, your selfishness. Your man must understand that you can cope without him, just tell him and leave, it will hurt his pride and then he can knock on your door with flowers and rattles 😉
Secondly, I wouldn't recommend you destroy it new love, rather, he has it, since he left (I could be wrong, the reason for the breakup could be your actions towards him), if this is the case, try to find in yourself those disadvantages that caused you to lose your man, and eliminate them. Maybe it's worth it just?
Thirdly, do not force the future child on him; this repels many people even more. Remember, maybe you had a situation where you wanted to do something on your own (lessons at school, get a job you liked...), and you were immediately forced to do it, then you get the feeling that you are someone you obey, but you really want to prove that you yourself are capable of taking this serious step. As a result, you move away from your goal.
I don’t argue, there are the most terrible cases that you don’t even want to write about, in such situations it is very difficult to remain a rational person, and abortion is the most terrible sin, which I do not recommend anyone to commit, because this “Legal Murder” can give rise to infertility.
In general, it is better to adhere to the principles of protection in intimate life before marriage, but it’s better to generally leave the body clean until marriage, although who am I telling, it’s the 21st century, everyone already wants this from the age of 12, both boys and girls.
Honestly, pure girls are very rare, but you know, rarity is more valuable than anything, even if we compare it with ancient coins, which single copy, they cost millions of dollars. I will be very happy if untouched girls read this article. Don't make mistakes, take care of what you have!
On this note, I conclude my article, to the question: “Is it possible to keep a man with a child?”, I answered, I hope everything works out for you.
One of the most asked questions is: “Is it possible to keep a man near you by giving birth to a child from him?”, but the answers to this can be very different. Some say that this is possible, some say that it is not, and some believe that everything depends on the woman and man, the situation and their characters. Probably the most appropriate answer proposed would be number three, since it is impossible to reliably determine the situation. One man can stay for the sake of the child, but another does not want to ruin his life for this. Living with an unloved woman - why? It is many times easier to go to a loved one, another, or even be left alone, in order to subsequently create a new, beloved and desired family.
In this article, the psychologist will tell you what exactly we mean when we say “keep your husband near you with the help of a child.” Situations are very different, and we cannot judge everyone the same. After all, how many cases have there been when a girl, in order to keep a guy by dishonest or fair means, became pregnant, and the guy had to marry her. Or cases where a couple is already married but there is a risk of divorce, in these cases the woman begins to manipulate her husband, involving him in her game, manipulating his moral values, and thinks that her husband will not leave her, because a sense of duty, conscience and moral values will not allow him.
The risk still remains in this case, when your husband can simply leave the family, file for divorce and end up paying alimony for his unborn child. Everything will depend only on the person himself, on his devotion, on his beliefs and traditions, on how kind and strong-willed his character is.
First, the act itself is immoral, you are manipulating a person, ruining his life, playing on his emotions and feelings. After all, if you want to keep your husband and you already have such thoughts and plans, this means that you feel that he has lost feelings and love for you, and the person wants to leave and get a divorce and leave, found a new partner in his life. This happens if people don’t have the same personalities, they made a mistake when choosing a partner, or an unplanned pregnancy happened, the partners were not ready for this, and there is no true love between them, and cannot exist. At the same time, your husband may leave you due to constant conflicts and quarrels, and simply due to lack of love. In such cases, you just need to let the person go and not hold him back. Decide for yourself what will be best even for you: if your husband wants to leave because of constant quarrels, incompatibility of characters, can you come to terms with this, endure it all your life? How might such quarrels affect you, and will you be able to live with the person you are “keeping”? Can you come to terms with the fact that this person doesn’t love you, he stayed with you only to raise his child?
Second, you need to think about your young man- husband. If, nevertheless, your attempt is crowned with success, understand that you are not just building your own destiny, you may be destroying someone else’s, you are interfering with the order of things arranged by nature itself, and most importantly: you are acting against the will of your husband and this will not lead to happiness in family. If you love him and want to keep him, because you are very attached to him that you cannot imagine your life without him, do not be selfish, because the person who loves his soul mate wishes him only the best, wants his loved one to be loved, healthy, happy, everything goes well for him. Love is a very strong feeling, it is expressed not only by physical attraction. If you truly love your husband, let him go. There are many other men in the world, no less wonderful, who will not make you suffer, will really love you, and you will not have to keep them near you.
Third, you need to think about the child himself and his future. The husband loves the child as much as his mother loves him. If he does not have any feelings for a woman, then there is a very high probability that he will not adore your child. At the same time, the husband will remain with the child in the family not at all out of love for him, but only because of his own internal duty to himself and the obligation to raise the child. But even if he loves your child, this does not mean that he will be raised accordingly. Psychologists have long proven that a child should grow up in love and be brought up in a family where dad and mom live in complete harmony with each other. From their example he learns what to do when he grows up, develops prejudices and character, and shapes his attitude and consciousness. A child who grew up in a less-than-functional family runs the risk of becoming a mentally unstable person. There is a huge probability of stress, neuroses and mental disorders, and in the future he will act in the same way. Do you want to expose your child to this risk? Can you sacrifice a child in order to keep your husband?
If you are hoping to keep your husband with a child after many years of marriage, think about whether this is a solution? How much is this correct solution and are you ready to use your unborn child for similar purposes?
First, figure out the reasons why your husband wants to leave you, what are the secondary reasons that could push him to such an act? What shortcomings and failures have appeared in your relationship recently, and what led to this? Try to look for shortcomings in yourself and try to correct them, ask what you did wrong, maybe sometimes you should forget about your principles and pride, ask for forgiveness, because if a person is loved, this will not be difficult.
Can you keep your husband as a child? This is possible, but think about whether you need it, is this really how you want to solve your problems? In order to solve this problem, you can find a lot of other, more humane ways.
