It’s sad to see how a well-prepared speech is accompanied by indifferent glances and poorly concealed yawns from the audience. And in a friendly company, in a family circle, it would be nice to learn how to convince a person, how to convince loved ones and friends that you are right.
Salespeople, politicians, office employees when communicating with clients and their boss when communicating with employees - everyone needs the art of persuasion.
Speech is the main weapon
Of course, if you have an expressive look, you can try to use it to persuade. But still, the success of someone who is working on how to learn how to convince people lies in correctly constructed and emotionally charged speech.Quiet speech is subconsciously perceived as the speech of an insecure person. The fast pace of speech tires the listener; he must closely follow the meaning, trying to grasp it. A slow pace, on the contrary, leads to indifference of the audience; listeners are distracted and think about something else.
Secrets of Skillful Persuasion
Experienced speakers and manipulators of human attention know how to learn how to persuade and achieve success. To do this, they use proven techniques:- They influence a person only with those arguments that he is able to perceive.
- They do not offer only “bare” facts, but consistently reveal their meaning and significance.
- First they respond to the arguments of the interlocutor, and then express their point of view.
- They try to detect areas of internal hesitation in the interlocutor and place emphasis there.
- They do not reject opposing arguments, but think through counterarguments to them (and leave the strongest argument in reserve).
- They give individual statements the form of a rhetorical or neutral question, in such a way that when answering it, the interlocutor perceives the answer as his own opinion.
- They refrain from asking questions that will be answered “no”, since the publicly expressed opinion of the interlocutor is already difficult and even useless to attack.
There is another technique that is difficult to explain from the point of view of logical meaning. How to convince your interlocutor that you are right? You need to look at the point located between his eyes and imagine the reaction of your counterpart that is necessary at the moment.
Brevity is the sister of persuasion
No matter what we're talking about, a conversation about a problem that worries the interlocutors goes through the following stages:- Preparation. Here the purpose of the conversation is clarified, initial information about the interlocutor is obtained, and persuasion tactics are considered.
- The beginning of a conversation, where negativity on the part of the interlocutor, if any, is neutralized (tightened posture, narrowed eyes, harsh statements) and a mood is set in the interests of the persuader.
- Implementation of the topic in the right direction.
- Ending the conversation and consolidating the result.
- You need to have a clear goal and know what you need to get from your interlocutor, no matter who he is: a manager at an interview, a salesperson behind a store counter, a boss or a subordinate.
- Beforehand, it would be a good idea to collect information about him and find out common ground.
- When speaking, it is necessary to take into account the interests and needs of the listener and rely on them.
- To attract attention you need to use bait - a case from own life, an anecdote, an original question - everything that will allow you to “pull the blanket over yourself.”
How to Increase Your Persuasion Effectiveness
When working on the problem of how to convince a person, you need to take into account many other factors. These are peculiar psychological moments that improve the atmosphere in which communication takes place:- It is easier to be collected not during hot and humid weather, but on cold, clear days.
- Around 19.00, many people become irritable and hot-tempered; it is not easy to convince them of something during this time period.
- It is advisable to know by name the person who needs to be convinced of something, otherwise he will get the impression that he is not important to his opponent.
- At the beginning of the conversation, you need to prompt the interlocutor with several questions to which the person will answer “yes”; this will immediately create a favorable atmosphere, an atmosphere of trust, ease, and a willingness to listen.
- The “mirroring” technique, when the persuader takes a pose and copies the gestures of the interlocutor, wins over the person.
- An offer to speak up will help you be attentive. If a person is listened to, then in return he will try to listen to the arguments of his counterpart.
When finishing a conversation, you must remember that the last phrases are remembered most firmly. Therefore, they should not be expressionless and unclear. Completing the conversation in a dignified and timely manner will help reinforce the other person’s conviction.
To achieve success, improve relationships with colleagues, and arrange your personal life, it is important to know how to persuade people. Changing a person's position can be difficult, but there are various means of persuasion for this.
How to persuade a person: methods of verbal influence
Persuasion is a form of psychological influence on a person, in which the main role is played by verbal or speech means: logic, clear argumentation, inferences, etc. There are several effective psychological techniques that increase the persuasiveness of speech, and often help influence the subconscious of the interlocutor.
Knowing how to persuade people will help you achieve your goal faster.
- Logics. A person’s acceptance of your arguments directly depends on the logic of your speech. It manifests itself in a clear connection between judgments, when one thought naturally follows from another and ultimately leads the interlocutor to the conclusion you need.
- Stimulation. When persuading, choose arguments that affect your partner’s personal interests and “promise” him benefits or threaten him with problems.
- Reframing. This is a psychological technique of “inverting” the meaning of a statement. Words are the shell of thought, but the same thought, expressed in different words, can change the meaning to the exact opposite. Thus, the words “scout” and “spy” have the same meaning, but completely different meanings.
- Emotional coloring of speech. The degree of your persuasiveness largely depends on the personal interest and emotionality of the speech.
All these methods will only work if your speech is clear, expressive, and distinguished by high culture and good vocabulary. The indistinct, confused muttering of a person who has difficulty finding the right words will never be convincing.
How to persuade a person to do something: nonverbal means
It has long been noted that with personal contact it is easier to convince a person of something than over the phone. It's even harder to do this in a written message. The fact is that non-verbal (non-speech) means of communication play a huge role in the transmission of information. With their help, 60-80% of information is transmitted, and they are the ones who are able to influence a person’s subconscious, regardless of his desire.
There are many techniques for psychologically “tuning” an interlocutor. Here are some of them.
- Mirror. Unobtrusively repeating your partner's movements makes him trust you.
- Light touches. Psychologists believe that a person, in a conversation with someone he trusts, unconsciously tries to touch him from time to time. By touching your interlocutor, you thereby demonstrate your trust in him and set him up for a positive perception of you.
- Smile. This universal means of communication has a positive effect on people and encourages them to trust their interlocutor.
- Expressive intonation. Convincing and positively colored intonation creates a special optimistic atmosphere. You want to believe a person who speaks energetically and even cheerfully.
Persuasiveness should not be confused with obsession. Trying to convince your interlocutor for too long causes irritation and rejection. Therefore, if you were unable to persuade a person, then it is better not to insist and postpone the conversation until another convenient time.
All people are different, and everyone has the right to their own point of view - this, or almost so, says the philosophical wisdom known for centuries. They say you need to accept a person’s right to be themselves and think in their own way. However, it is extremely difficult to come to terms with this fact. It’s one thing when the question concerns fairly neutral questions like “what kind of music do you like” or “what is better: comedies or action films.” But the situation changes dramatically if your opponent’s opinion influences the joint decision. For example, in the case of concluding contracts. And simply in cases where it is fundamentally important to convince a person that you, and not he, are right!
In order to convince a person that you are right, it is enough to know a few ways to win the interlocutor over to you.
1. Be sincere. Even if everything is boiling inside you, you must maintain calm and composure, otherwise persuasion methods will not work. Smile broadly and carelessly, no need to get under your opponent’s skin, loosen your grip. Do not pretend that you are absolutely indifferent to the outcome of the negotiations - because this is not the case. Just be open and willing to talk.
2. Before you believe that your proposal or point of view is exclusively correct, clearly believe it yourself. This is so, and it cannot be otherwise.
3. Let the person know that you respect him and his point of view. Intersperse your beliefs with neutral remarks. Insist, but with a smile. And agree with him. Take it for granted: your interlocutor is (most likely) not a stupid person. His point of view is also worthy of respect! The question, by and large, is not how to convince a person, but how to make him want to accept your point of view.
4. Impose your pace on your interlocutor. However, you should not do this abruptly and rudely. You need to be on the same page. But how! It is important that your pace is picked up by the interlocutor, and not vice versa. To do this, after the phrase he says, speak at exactly the same pace as him (slowly or quickly), and at the end of the phrase, be sure to increase or slow down the tempo. Thus, you not only create conditions for negotiations that are convenient for you, but also subconsciously make it clear to your opponent that he is playing by your rules.
5. Speak the same language. Before you convince a person to buy something from you or accept your terms, stand in his place: would you take something that is being so diligently “peddled”? Hardly. However, talk about benefits that interest your interlocutor. And it doesn’t matter whether you are selling something or simply convincing a friend of the correctness of your ideas, make it clear that you hear him, listen and, generally speaking, mean the same thing! So you “turn around” to the interlocutor and he, willy-nilly, has to give up his defensive position.
6. Don't be boring. Whatever the dispute is: an attempt to sign a business contract on favorable terms or to convince a friend that your favorite film is better than his - there is no point in throwing around facts alone. If the person in front of you is erudite and passionate, he may well bombard you with facts that indicate the opposite. So you can prove something for a very long time and prove nothing in the end. Agree with him, balance.
7. Provide your arguments in the form of questions. It's paradoxical, but it works. Let's say you and a friend are arguing about whether a certain actor's role in a given film is the peak of his career. Are you sure that yes, it is. Ask the question: "Can you name the films released during that year in which he performed better?" And the friend will think a little... The protection is partially broken.
6. Overcoming resistance. If you successfully managed to overcome the previous stages, you will notice that the person has “thawed out” and become more complacent and disposed towards you. In other words, some of the barriers to his resistance have been overcome. How to convince a person that you are right? Build questions in such a way that the interlocutor answers “yes”. Ask emotional questions, provide a comfortable environment.
The veil has now been lifted somewhat on the mystery of how to persuade people.
Is it possible to persuade the teacher to agree with everything you say if you did not prepare for the exam? Can! There is even a whole section in psychology that covers the ability to convince a person.
Our “mole” was a psychology professor who had once worked as an FBI agent for a long time. Taking part in numerous secret operations, he more than once had to extract information from even the most famous silent people.
The main rule to follow when achieving the goal “How can you persuade any person” is this: make your opponent like himself.
Step One: Intentionally Make a Mistake
During a conversation, an experienced speaker allows himself, as if by chance, to make a small mistake. This could be an error in pronunciation, a word misused in the meaning of the word, and so on.
The point is to get the listener to correct you. Then he feigns slight embarrassment, thanks the audience for the correction and speaks further, taking into account the corrections.
But be careful - your mistakes should not relate directly to the material on which you are answering.
This is done with three main goals:
- When the listener corrects the speaker (in our case, the teacher corrects the student), this gives him the opportunity to feel more confident.
- This allows the teacher to communicate with the student more freely.
- This gives the teacher the opportunity not to be afraid of making mistakes himself and lulls his own vigilance.
Step Two: Give Compliments in the Third Person
How to win someone over and persuade him to do something? Of course, start complimenting him!
There are rules and subtleties here. For example, a student should under no circumstances make direct compliments, otherwise it will be regarded as undisguised flattery. In addition, some people are simply not ready to accept direct compliments and begin to experience discomfort.
In this case, compliments from a third person are great: mention, as if by chance, that you communicated with students of previous courses, and they are sure that this particular teacher (our hero) teaches his material more fully and accessiblely than all the other teachers of the course .
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Step three: express our sincere sympathy
Do you want to know one of the main secrets of how to learn to persuade people? Show them your sympathy. People have always been interested in themselves much more than everyone else. And this is natural.
If you show a genuine interest in people, you will not only be able to make many friends and acquaintances, but also win the sympathy of teachers.
Your task: to find the optimal sympathetic statement that will be absolutely true. For example, on the day of the exam, let the teacher know that you are well aware of what a difficult day he is having today. The person should feel not pity on your part, but support.
It becomes incredibly pleasant for any person when they not only listen to him attentively, but also share his emotions with him.
Step four: make the interlocutor begin to praise himself
Remember: there is a rather fine line between flattery and compliment, so it’s best not to cross it. And even better - make your interlocutor begin to praise himself.
Here is an example of a proper conversation:
- During the last session, I took the exam from one group 7 times!
-Wow! You need to have nerves of steel and incredible endurance to listen to the same thing for 7 days from the same people!
- (probable answer we need to achieve) Yes, I had to try not to go crazy. Of course, I did a great job and all the students passed the exam.
Step Five: Ask for a Favor
Make a person help you - and he will do it again and again, and with genuine pleasure! When a person does someone a favor, he feels his own growing importance not only to others, but also to himself.
However, this method should not be abused: the service you are asking for should be small, insignificant.
Now you know how to persuade a person to do something. None of this advice fits the definition of hypocrisy, so everything is legal and quite moral. A little cunning, charm and valuable information according to the methods of the special services - and you will succeed. And if it doesn’t work out, we are ready to provide assistance at any time.
Friends and guests, hello everyone! How are you feeling? It’s not in vain that I ask. Convincing and persuading people works best when you are in a great mood.
Things aren't going well and you want more? In this case, it may be interesting and very useful training on personal growth .
Let's get down to business. Let's look at how to learn how to persuade people to achieve certain goals. Ready to learn a few secrets?
How to persuade correctly?
The sequence of actions can be divided into 4 stages:
- Gain a person's favor. At a minimum, he should be interested in the dialogue. It will be great if a person starts to trust you.
- Identify needs related to your goal. For example, if you are going to persuade a person to buy real estate, then it would be a good idea to find out his wishes on this topic. If you want to persuade your boss to raise your salary, then it will be useful to know what results he is striving for and how you can help with this in order to deservedly receive additional income.
- Offer an option that completely suits you and presumably corresponds to the person’s identified wishes.
- Competently answer all objections and get what you want.
If you read my past articles, you probably saw similarities with. The “core” of this communication scheme in many cases allows you to correctly and competently convince people to do something.
I’ll say right away that persuading people over the phone is much more difficult, unlike situations where there is eye contact. Emotions, gestures, and facial expressions play a huge role.
The main secret of persuasion
Do you already have your first thoughts on how you can learn how to properly persuade a person to get what you want? In fact, the approach to each person is individual. The ability to persuade comes only with experience. It’s difficult to do without practice; theory alone won’t get you far.
Attention! Now I will “tell” you one cool thing. If you learn to do this, the prospects will become simply enormous.
A person should think that he himself came to the decision you need, without realizing that he was consistently “led” to it.
Let me immediately note that the whole scheme is built on benefits for humans. That is, achieving your goal should benefit him. Therefore, under no circumstances should you lie.
Consider one interesting point. The interlocutor who needs to be convinced to do something may have a hidden need. That is, he really needs something, but no serious thoughts have arisen on this topic yet. The question just needs to be raised, updated and the necessary information correctly presented.
Ways to gain favor
The above 4 steps work when talking on the phone and during a personal meeting. However, when a person sees the interlocutor there are a number of advantages that allow one to achieve greater trust. Do you know how to do this correctly?
- Don't argue. Why is there negativity in pure form? If you want to convince a person, then emphasize the importance of his opinion and give several arguments that can change him.
- Talk about things that are of interest to the other person.
- Smile. Of course, only if there is a reason for it.
- Use gestures.
- Listen carefully.
- Choose the right intonation.
- Don't be forced.
This is just a short list. Each situation is individual and should be approached accordingly. It just takes practice.
As you can see, learning to win people over is not as difficult as it might seem at first glance. It’s just that during a conversation a person should feel significant and heard. How often does this happen in life?
I hope it is now generally clear how you can learn to persuade different people in order to induce them to do something. Remember that in each case the actions may be individual.
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