Trials in my life
“When I was five and a half years old, my father was admitted to a psychiatric hospital 80 kilometers from my home. Mom was left alone with five small children; my older brother was 7 years old, I was the oldest girl, and the youngest three children were still in diapers (3, 2 years and 8 months).
Mom didn’t know how to continue living. Although she was a registered nurse, in our small town of 900 people there was no job for her within 40-50 kilometers of home. In subsequent years, I asked my mother how she dealt with difficulties and survived these chaotic times. Half-jokingly, she said: “I was planning a nervous breakdown, but he himself ruined my plans.”
The doctors had no hope that dad would ever return home. They diagnosed him with paranoid schizophrenia. Undoubtedly, two and a half years on the fields of World War II and post-traumatic stress disorder also contributed to his condition.
The day came when my mom took my older brother and I to see a “really cool place.” There were lots of toys, food and even our own beds. The prospect of not sharing a bed with small children who wet the bed every day looked quite tempting.
Despite all this, my older brother Mel began to cry. When I asked him what happened, he said: “This is an orphanage! Mom is going to give us away!”
Another option for the mother was to “give the children away” to relatives. We had kind aunts and uncles who wanted to take one of us to raise. They were all farmers and could use "extra help." Fortunately, for some reason, my mother decided to leave us together and move on with our lives.
From then on, I believed that my survival depended on becoming INDEPENDABLE so that I would not be given away. So I strived to be " perfect child" I took care of the younger children, did a lot of cleaning and washing dishes. I hid my pain and remained silent about the sexual abuse I experienced.
I knew that my mother could not cope with these difficulties alone. I felt that I was mine the main task was to make people laugh and be happy, especially after dad left the hospital a year and a half later. He would be sad for days until I was able to do or say something really funny to get him out of it. We all “tiptoed” so as not to upset our father. We tried not to do anything that would cause him to go back to the hospital.
Because of my youth and fears, I developed some defensive skills that were not healthy or correct. I continued to believe that I needed to please people in order to earn their love. I still felt the need to be indispensable to the point that if something went wrong, I thought it must be because of me. I prioritized pleasing people over pleasing God, which led me to become cowardly and deceitful, and my goal became popularity in school.
One of the most painful experiences was the realization that I had experienced “sexual abuse” from a religious leader. He took me to places and did things for me that my parents could never afford. He made me feel special until the day he took me to the back room of the church where his actions made his intentions very clear. With tears in my eyes, I ran away. My CONCLUSION: I cannot trust anyone who shows me his love and attention, even if he is a religious person.
These and other disappointments deeply affected my love and trust in God. Christianity for me has become more about cultural rules to follow than a wonderful relationship with God. Fortunately, as a young mother, I began to hear about the true nature of God and His love, which resonated in my heart and life.
Trusting God helps you get through life's trials
With my new understanding of the nature of God, I began to notice that I was seeking His love “on my terms.” In my relationship with God, I tried to earn His love by being good, charming, sweet, and hardworking enough for Him to save me, of course. I deserve it!
It took time to break through my faulty base thinking and believe that God loved me unconditionally. Most importantly, I came to truly believe that only Jesus, who shed His blood for me on the cross and rose again, was the One who forgave and saved me. So I gave Him control of my life, accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, and was baptized.
Fortunately, God gave me the MOST RELIABLE MAN I know as my husband. (However, due to my lack of faith, I did not trust him until I allowed God to do His work to heal and renew my heart.)
My enemy, Satan, is convinced that I have enough reasons to return to my unbelieving and cowardly old self. Every day the "father of lies" works hard to attack my faith and convince me to return to doubt and unbelief. I used to think that disbelief was not a big deal. This was one of the "minor sins." I don't believe in it anymore. In my life, unbelief is disgusting and dangerous!
“And without faith it is impossible to please God; for he who comes to God must believe that He exists and is a rewarder of those who seek Him.”(Hebrews 11:6).
The irony of Satan's attacks and life circumstances is that God can also use them to teach me to trust Him unconditionally. Satan kept trying to get me to use my old methods and erroneous beliefs, but these methods are useless when big things happen. life problems. Here are just a few areas in which my growing faith and my previous need to feel indispensable were challenged.
Years of chronic pain– I can no longer be useful?
Cancer– A brush with death raised questions about God’s love.
Mental problems“I want to feel capable, but my attention deficit disorder makes me feel frustrated and ashamed.”
Emotional problems– Years of clinical depression and anxiety have stopped my efforts to bring laughter and joy to people.
Neurological problems- On my appearance affected by essential tremor. I'm afraid of what people think of me.
A lot of suffering and sorrow - Two sons with leukemia adult daughter with chronic illness and pain, the death of our youngest son David at the age of 36.
The most difficult test in our lives is the loss of our son. It took time to regain trust in God. Despite all the feelings caused by grief, I did not want to lose faith in God.
God had to carry me through all these difficulties and trials in life. I had to go through them.
I have had more than enough grief and suffering in my life, but I cannot justify my unbelief with these problems when I look at the cross. The cross taught me to trust that God loves me despite my circumstances and personal lack of ability. His love is unconditional and it lasts forever.
It helps me see that on the cross Jesus confronted all the excuses I use when I don't trust God (Isaiah 52:13 – 53:12).
People were shocked by His appearance.
People despised Him and rejected Him.
A man of sorrows, familiar with suffering.
He accepted our weaknesses and sorrows.
We thought that God made Him suffer.
Jesus was nailed to the cross, where He was physically limited. He let the nails hold Him there. On the cross He had nothing but absolute faith, trust and love. However, what He did through His trust in God, love and faith saved me! Jesus learned obedience through life's trials and circumstances that caused Him suffering, and so can I!
“Although He was a Son, yet He learned obedience by what He suffered” (Hebrews 5:8).
“For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has power, but faith working through love” (Galatians 5:6).
God did not solve all the problems in our lives, did not heal all the illnesses in our family, and did not give us easy life financially, but He gave us faith to see HIM and know HIS LOVE. He also gave us a ministry to bring salvation and hope to others.
P.S.: At my mother's funeral (10 years ago) I found out why she changed her mind about giving me and my older brother up for adoption. The elder's wife told me about a conversation she had with my mother after church service on a Sunday evening (a rare occurrence with 5 small children). She cried when she told Vanita that she was giving us up for adoption. Vanita talked and prayed with her mother. Thanks to this conversation, my mother decided to trust God with our future. Thank God she did it!
Marcia Lamb
Boston, USA
Translation:
In the life of every person there are difficulties and trials. Naturally, the obstacles one faces are different from what the other endures. But the fact that there are difficulties along the path of life remains the same for every person. What also remains unchanged is the fact that we practically cannot influence at what point trials come into our lives; we cannot do anything to completely avoid them. The only thing that remains in our power is to change the attitude with which we meet those very difficulties.
Trials give us experience
The Lord sent us to this earth so that we could be tested. He gave us free will, thanks to which we can make our own decisions. We are able to distinguish good from evil and make a choice in favor of one or the other. Thanks to this opportunity, a person can become more and more like the Lord by following His commandments and instructions.
The experiences we gain on this earth will remain with us forever. When faced with challenges, we can always learn important lessons that will definitely be useful in the future. If you think about what you have had to face up to this point, you will realize that without these difficulties you would be a completely different person. The Lord knows what lies ahead for us. He loves his children and will not send them trials that they do not have the strength to cope with.
Trials teach us important principles
As stated earlier, trials give us precious experience that we cannot gain in any other way. How we cope with life's difficulties shows who we are, what principles we adhere to, what sources we turn to in search of advice, solutions or support.
I would especially like to note that in times of trial we can be patient and obedient as never before. Everything in our lives happens for a reason. We may not now understand why the Lord has placed us in such difficult circumstances, but He has a special plan for each of us. It is very important for us to trust God, it is important to show that we are ready to follow His will. Mormon apostle Robert D. Hales said, “Hope and trust in the Lord require faith, patience, humility, submission, long-suffering, commandment-keeping, and endurance to the end.”
Trials Strengthen Our Faith
Probably, each of us has repeatedly asked the question: “Why did this happen to me?” Indeed, trials often visit righteous people. The presence or absence of difficulties is not an indicator of a person’s worth in the eyes of God. Absolutely everyone, every person who has lived, is living, or will ever live on this earth, is learning the lessons prepared by the Lord. They look different for everyone. For one it may be financial difficulties, for another it may be a serious illness, for a third one has to go through everything at once; a striking example from the Bible is the story of Job. This does not mean that God loves one person more than another. It’s just that each of us has our own path to the house of our Heavenly Father, and we must go through it with faith.
Another Mormon Church leader, Quentin L. Cook, said: “Among the questions most frequently asked are: Why does a just God allow bad things to happen, especially to good people? Why are those who are righteous and serve the Lord not immune from tragedy?” "While we don't know all the answers," said Quentin Cook, "we do know some important principles that allow us to face tragedy with faith and confidence that a bright future awaits each of us."
Despite the fact that each person has to face completely different trials, one thing remains unchanged for everyone - the Lord is always there, He holds our hand in difficult moments, and when the going gets toughest, He will carry us in His arms, as it is said in one famous Christian parable.
The Parable of the Footprints in the Sand
“Once a man had a dream. He dreamed that he was walking along a sandy shore, and the Lord was next to him. Pictures from his life flashed in the sky, and after each of them he noticed two chains of footprints in the sand: one from his feet, the other from the feet of the Lord.
When the last picture of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. And he saw that often along his life’s path there was only one chain of traces. He also noted that these were the most difficult and unhappy times in his life. He became very sad and began to ask the Lord:
Wasn’t it You who told me: if I follow Your path, You will not leave me. But I noticed that during the most difficult times of my life, only one chain of footprints stretched across the sand. Why did You abandon me when I needed You most?
The Lord answered:
My sweet, sweet child. I love you and will never leave you. When there were sorrows and trials in your life, only one chain of footprints stretched along the road. Because in those days I carried you in my arms.”
May our hearts always be filled with love for the Lord, may the words of the Savior always ring in our hearts in difficult times: “Not my will, but yours be done” (Luke 22:42).
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A hackneyed idea, but it is very true. We may be offended, suffer, tormented by the fact that so much falls to our lot, but it’s all ours, we need it all. When everything is easy and simple, we do not grow, when it is hard and painful, unbearable and extremely difficult, on the edge, only then do we take step by step forward, upward.
We all go through many incarnations, as if we were studying at school. If you are in the first grade, you learn to count and write, if you get older, the lessons and tasks are completely different, but this does not mean that it is easier for a first grader than for a seventh grader, no, it’s just given to everyone according to their level and their abilities. We cannot immediately jump from first grade to 11th grade; we need to go through all the steps step by step.
You are given neither more nor less than you can handle; whatever the task, you can handle it. Yes, at any moment you can say that you have no strength, no patience, you can quit “training”, you can refuse the lessons that fate gives you, but there will be a next incarnation and the same tasks, only there will be limits tougher, it will be harder to walk. It's like staying for a second year, psychologically it's very hard to accept. Therefore, in this incarnation, do everything to the limit of your capabilities and strengths, and believe me, they are limitless, you can do much more than you imagine. Most of us use 30-50% of our potential, up to 100% is still a long way to go. Don't feel sorry for yourself, don't deceive yourself by saying that you can't. You can do everything and a little more. Believing in yourself opens all paths and roads. Of course, they will try to confuse you, they will throw more and more new difficulties and problems at you, but you continue to believe and go, do not give up. Use your inner resources correctly, correctly for you, and not for someone else. Only you yourself know WHAT will be better for you, only you yourself are able to assess where your soul lies and what choice to make. Don't waste yourself, otherwise you will feel tired and apathetic. The more correctly you spend your strength, the more it will become; every day you will be capable of much more extensive victories and achievements. Fatigue is experienced by those who do something wrong; they always lack strength, time, or energy.
Look at yourself from the outside and ask yourself simple questions: “Am I doing everything in the way that is necessary and useful for me?”, “Do I like myself?”, “Do I have anything to be proud of?”, “On my own.” Am I in the right place?”, “Am I living my life?” etc. This is the only way you will come to an adequate perception of yourself and your life.
Act, live and never give up!
Wise people recognize that trials in a person’s life are an exam during which it becomes clear how ready a person is to move to the next stage of his development
Trials in a person's life are simply a test to reveal the true nature of a person. This is exactly what the sages of the Shaolin Monastery in China knew and constantly used it in their system of training monks, especially when it came to mastering the martial art. After all, self-control and imaginative creative thinking are very important for this.
Therefore, before entering the Shaolin Monastery to study, everyone, of whom there was an incredible number, went through a whole system of tests. This is how the true qualities of a person’s character and his abilities were revealed. Moreover, the tests were very competently and harmoniously integrated into daily life, becoming absolutely invisible, and therefore very important in terms of the manifestation of the true nature of a person.
“Unhappiness can be a touchstone of character.”
Balzac O
For example, tired and hungry candidates, exhausted from previous exams, were treated to hot bean soup. In front of the cauldron of stew, they were given clay bowls and very stale flatbread.
But when the most impatient received a generous portion of soup, it all instantly splashed out on their feet. The fact is that the bottoms of the bowls were made of paper painted the color of clay. When the stew got inside, the bottom fell off and everything splashed out on the unlucky rusher. Thus, applicants inevitably got burned and remained hungry.
The more patient and smart ones, seeing this, simply placed the flatbread under the bowl, and while they were eating the stew, the stale bread placed underneath, blocking the flow of the stew, became soaked and soaked in thick fat. Thus, the candidates for the monk belt had a hearty dinner and at the same time successfully passed the next test.
“You must be able to endure what cannot be avoided.”
Michel Montaigne, French writer and philosopher
A few more quotes on the topic “trials in a person’s life”
As Goethe said: “Difficulties increase as you approach the goal.” For this reason, Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (an outstanding German scientist and publicist) correctly noted: “The word “difficulty” should not exist for a creative mind,” i.e. that mind that certainly achieves its goal. And for these purposes, Horace advised, “In difficult circumstances, maintain your sanity.”
“The highest degree of human wisdom is the ability to adapt to circumstances and remain calm in spite of external storms.”
Daniel Defoe, writer, author of Robinson Crusoe
“Remember that the more difficult and severe the circumstances, the more necessary is firmness, activity and determination, and the more harmful is apathy.” - Tolstoy L.N. In confirmation of these words, Seneca said: “Nothing in the world deserves such respect as a person who knows how to courageously endure adversity.”
Trials in life and time
Another very important point in understanding the essence of what is happening when trials come into a person’s life - “Misfortune is like a coward: it pursues people whom it sees trembling, and runs away when they boldly meet it. " - Juvier A. This is due to the fact that there is always a way out, therefore: “Despair is the greatest of our delusions.” - Vauvenargues L. Moreover, “Great misfortunes do not last, and small ones are not worth attention.” Lubbock D.
And this is true, but there is one “but”. If a person has not successfully passed a life test, then after some time it will come into his life again. The reason is that a person does not decide, runs away from the difficulty that has arisen, still continuing to make the same mistakes that invite painfully familiar difficulties into his life.
That is why many practicing psychologists and consultants are faced with the fact that sometimes a person walks in a vicious circle, stepping on the same rake again and again... and therefore the same bumps happen again and again... Therefore, do not run from difficulties , and solve them, overcoming them - you move to the next level of your development.
